March Part (I)

Eu: I wanna become Batman!
Me: Ehhh good idea, I want that too!! ( started opening up my sweater widely)!
Eu: Weih, who's going to take photo if both of us were batmen?
Me: Hmm true also....*slowly buttoning up my sweater again, sob*

So that's the story of the Batman and......a photgrapher.

Anyway, March is another lovely and slightly sunny month to me. I finally forked out some time for a Stanley Park walk with Eu last Saturday. Eu and I have been housemates for almost 2 years now, and there isn’t any side of mine that she has not seen before, that obviously includes my nocturnal bruxism, occasional blurness as well as my super messy look after sleep. I think exposing the ugliest side of ours to each other is what our friendship is truly about, as these imperfections make our bonds more beautiful naturally.

She is graduating this year and I’m really happy to see her completing the first stage of her life. Although that will also mark the official end of our experience of living together, I think we’ve done a great job in making our unit as homely as we could in these 2 years, and I haven’t been having this sense of security for quite a while since first year.

Thank you for instilling all the good habits in me all these while, I’m pretty sure that there’ll still be a minor reflection of you in me even when we’re apart. This is how I appreciate our friendship, within the heart and beyond the distance. Happy graduating my friend!

I’ve spent a significant amount of time immersing myself into music composition recently. The ability of writing 3 songs in 2 weeks has shed a light on me for my writing potential. If I count describe my current life in words, it would be the kind of life where I have a pencil and paper beside me all the time for me to jog down all my thoughts , even before I sleep, as that's actually the peak time of my musical inspiration! I believe this is a good start for me after 10 years, and it gives me a great push to sharpen my technical skills musically. That is definitely going to be my tentative plan this summer- more time on piano and guitar.

It’s funny how composing music is leading a domino effect in me because I’ve recently found a better way to develop my singing skills. I’m not a skilful singer, but I’ve figured out an appropriate breathing method to deliver my voice for songs that I once thought they did not suit my range. It feels like something dawned on me and I’m getting an insight of singing from my own perspective in a sudden.

Maybe, confidence really makes things work miraculously.

March is a month with moderate workload, considering the fact that I’m used to the life of submitting weekly assignments, and so life which consists of a consistent workload is not problematic to me anymore. I’m doing my best to divert stress into positive energy flow and let the strength encourages me in the long run. Seeking for strength is always part of the mission in my life because that is the just the foundation of life, as most of the bigger things usually start out with the strength and determination to make them attainable.

p/s: I think I’m getting better at creating cheat sheets because I can freely adjust my font size with a consistent flow nowadays.

激发潜能中

Credits to superb photographer Ai Vern.

曾经听过别人说，活得更自信美丽就是对伤害你的人最好的报复。

某程度来说，我觉得这种心态很正面，毕竟拥有精彩的人生最终得益的还是自己。与其说是报复，我觉得那是战胜自己心魔的一种表现，因为自己终于愿意放下包袱去发掘其他的可能性，只有在放下怨恨的同时，才是灿烂人生的开始。我相信每个人的体内都流淌着无限的可能性，只要专研下去就会有更大的爆发力。22岁的我，很庆幸地激发了自己一部分的潜能，正迈入人生的另一个阶段。当自己愿意去了解另外一面的自己的时候，那才是人生刚开始要绽放的时期，因为我愿意为了自己而相信自己的能力，心甘情愿的，毫不犹豫的踏上新的旅途。

我并不是一个很容易被刺激到的人，可是当我真正被激发的时候，我内心所散发出来的爆发力一定不小。那是因为我会不断地磨练自己，一直到我表现得比我想象中还要好为止。只要我还抱着这份自信的一天，我就会不惧艰辛地努力下去，那是我对人生的一种态度---先准备好自己来迎接世界。与其说这是怕输，我更害怕令自己失望，活在自怜的状态中，因为我人生最不缺的就是同情。如果有一天，我成功了，我也不会因此而贬低那些曾经伤害我的人，因为比起对他们的揶揄，我更喜欢用表现来证明自己，沉浸在那种无声胜有声的感觉。那些人无需得到我的原谅，也无需做出任何的弥补，因为在他们伤害我的同时就早已选择性地忽略我的感受。既然选择了不在乎，那也无需执着于自己的道歉能否换得到别人的体谅。往好的一方面想，他们的存在造就了一个更坚强与自信的我，而我也只需要专心地走接下来的路就好。只要我在得到别人的认同之前，先达到了自己的要求，那就是对我最重要的事。

最近的我，终于再次提笔创作，尝试从不同曲风的歌曲中摄入更多的灵感。说起音乐创作，我在12岁的时候就开始写了自己的第一本歌词本，当时我把很多想法都写在里头，名副其实地让它成为了一本有词没曲的音乐册。一直到18岁，在我心情最糟到透顶的时候，就涌出了生平的第一首曲，只为了一个人。只是当时的我，没能相信自己的创作能力，所以也没有继续坚持地发挥更多潜在的音乐本能。21岁那年，我又开始了词曲创作，把自己最深处的感受都零零散散地写下来，让它们承载着我当时的回忆。22岁的我，只希望能找回当年12岁的自己，单纯地因为喜欢音乐而记录下我专属的音乐旅程。我希望，就算在没有外来刺激的情况下，我还是能够善用自己的灵感来谱出一首又一首的作品。从某个角度来说，这对我也是崭新的开始，没有任何顾虑的，只为了自己热诚而存在的潜能。

断断续续地走了10年才决定再重拾的兴趣，现在再努力下去应该也不迟吧！

嗯，有心就不会有迟到的一天

Santa Monica

Santa Monica beach was one of my favourite places during the LA trip, it was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve seen so far. As you all know, I’ve always been a beach lover and I enjoy going to beach as much as I enjoy playing piano.Beach is also a source of my inspiration, musically and mentally,thus I find no difficulty sitting down on a beach chilling out for hours just to get myself into thinking.

Fortunately, we still made our way here despite of the one-hour bus trip. After days of raining in LA, Mr.Sun finally showed up and shed some light on us, giving us a sunny Christmas. Thank you for your generosity, Mr.Sun!!

My Christmas 2010 was a total luxury with the spectacular beach view, relaxing people and seafood fiesta, what more could I ask for?

The last time I actually sat on a beach happened 3 years ago, which was also the last trip I had with my BFFs before I went off for my tertiary education. The moment where 4 of us slept on the beach side by side, watching the stars while chatting about our future plans is still so vivid in my mind, as if they just happened yesterday.

We’ve grown up so much and made a huge progress along the path towards our future, that’s one thing I’m always grateful of. We always grow up together regardless of the geographical distance, and we are still standing together for the 11th year, thank you my beloved BFFs, for this growing process consists of too many memorable moments that are beyond words of silence, within the love of heart and support from the core.

Some people asked me: “Why would you want to take picture of your shoes out of so many things in Santa Monica?”

A pair of good shoes will bring you to places you’ve wanted to go and accompany you in chasing your dreams. Have you ever had the thought that they are always sharing your burden and slaving for you silently without questioning your destination?

They’ve so much faith in you all the while, how can I not give credit to them?

I love you, my shoes, you've brought me so far to see the things that I wanted to see.I sincerely hope that you felt the same way as I did for Santa Monica.

Can't wait to embark on the LOTR and Big Bang journey!

My second summer trip of the year is finally confirmed, courtesy to Air Asia promotion which thrilled me so much in finalizing my plan. I’m so excited even from pure imagination of the LOTR filming locations, breathtaking scenery as well as relaxing lifestyle, not to mention my darling Valerie and her bungy have been waiting for me for 3+ years!! OOOOOO I'm finally meeting them after such a long time!

This summer is going to be super awesome with two blasting trips. I’m equally anticipating for my Big Bang trip as well since it’s my first time travelling abroad with the BFFs, being with them always generates a lot of fun time to me. Second reason which makes me so excited about this trip should be the wide range of Korean cosmetics available there at a cheaper price as compared to K.L, thus it’s definitely the time for me to replenish my stock for the year again! Third reason should be the thought of visiting the origin country of my favourite Korean band and male-Big Bang and Siwon, not like I’m going to bump into them, but just the thought of being in the same place and visiting places they’ve been before slightly excites me.

Oklah, let’s hope that I’ll bump into them still and utilize my oh-so-fluent Korean language to greet them. They somehow thrill me to learn Korean, besides the people who mistakenly thought I’m their compatriot when I’m not, I feel like learning Korean just to explain myself and apologize to them appropriately.

I just can’t wait to embark on these journeys! Although an additional trip also means extra expenses for me, I’m doing as much paid studies and online surveys as I could to earn money, literally, since I’m not working a part-time job. I’m a little fall behind on my savings plan, so hopefully I can catch up as much as I can in these two months.

Two big summer trips are going to do me just fine this year, as I feel like spending the rest of my break with family and friends while enjoying my time in my beautiful homeland as much as possible. I would love to slack at home just to chat with my mom and siblings to make up for the time and accompaniment when I wasn’t home. To me, their smiles are the biggest fireworks of my summer. Also, I’ve many plans lining up this summer, mainly taking courses like Jap class, photo shooting, gym and probably dancing to upgrade myself. It’s a holiday after all, thus making myself happy and accomplished is the whole point of it.

Yes, it's all about me, family, and my fellow darlings this year.

Be smart, be patient, and be humble

From up to bottom, left to right:
1. Unagi rice 2. Ton Katsu Carbonara 3. Pineapple tarts 4.Potato pancakes with Bolognese sauce

The above recipes are the new things I’ve learned/invented in these two months, and I’m getting more and more satisfied with myself in cooking. Eu says I’m a 99% woman for now with all the skills I’m equipped, and that 1% flaw derives from my sewing skills because I’m still very bad at it, no jokes on that!! Sometimes, I’ve to re-sew my sweater twice because they’re loosely attached even after sewing.

I'm always thankful for the opportunity to study abroad in exchange for all of the aforementioned skills.Studying abroad is really a golden opportunity in my life as it brings out the best in me and expands the possibilities that I never thought I would have achieved. It’s only till then that I’ve learned to be an independent person and do my best in sharpening all of my skills to better myself. Ultimately, I’ve picked up an important lesson about victory along the journey- not to be the cream of the crops among the others but consistently challenging myself for what I aim for. I believe that’s the attitude which leads me to a happy path because I feel happy when I achieve my goals , and I’m barely upset when someone overtakes me or criticizes me for who I am. I prefer making the silent move by proving myself through excellent performances, as that’s the way I evaluate myself but not a benchmark for more people to attack on.

Just be smart, be patient and be humble! Do not allow your mouth to do the evil but let your performance do the justice. Give time time as it will prove yourself the best.

Last day of 2010

Last year’s new year eve was a memorable one for me, as I had my first biking experience during my trip in San Francisco.I had always wanted to try out on a biking trip because surrounding the city by bike would give an insight of the city than bussing or walking around it. I was overjoyed on how we made the last day of the year a different one, in a different place, with a whole new experience.

It was a windy and cold winter, cold enough for my fingers to freeze when biking under weather as such, but the scenery definitely made my trip a worthy one. It was also a good time to reminiscent on the highlights of the year along the biking trip. I concluded 2010 as a year for maturity and mental strength gain because I’ve learned a lot about myself and the people around me last year. 2010 wasn’t quite a joyful year to me, and those things that collapsed in front of me did depress me a lot. However, gaining mature thoughts and making a step closer to the reality weren’t a bad thing after all from an optimistic point of view. The gains definitely outweighed the losses and fortunately I’m back to myself again, standing at the position that best fits me after all the rainstorm.

So here I was, with no fancy countdown celebration and crazy crowd, but the magnificent Golden Gate bridge together with a spectacular sunset on the last day of 2010. Somehow, I found joy in this way of celebrating new year's eve.

Although I did not pull off the year gracefully, I ended 2010 in a good way to the very least.

Before the arrival of a brand new year, I reminded myself not to bring forward any unnecessary emotions and avoid provoking depression, besides calming myself and learn to communicate with my body. I truly believe that 2011 is going to be very wonderful with a healthy body, inspiring thoughts, and a lovely soul.

2011, my resolution is to forgive but never forget on the things that have brought me so far; embrace and draw new things to my life, every experience is worth a learning value; bow to losses and losers because they’ve pushed me to a higher level.

Lastly, I want to live a good life for myself and everyone else that loves me, for they are the infinite elements that spice up my life ultimately.

Learn how the world rules before you rule your own world

My friend and I had a good chat on the bad quality some people possess which causes her to lose respect on them. She hates pessimistic people who complain about their own weaknesses frequently and never really bother to make a change. She says, these people pre-conclude things and do not really make an effort to try, so how will their world be better without a change? To her, that's a sign of not having adequate self-love in someone, and thus he/she does not fight for what he/she wants the most, thus they continuously hide at the corner and poke finger.

Well, I can agree no more with her, I think it’s important to stop ranting about the desperado and see things pessimistically. Things won’t change without a change in attitude, even if you’ve figured out the root of the problem, things won’t change without a change in attitude. Instead of losing my temper on these people, I’m losing respect to people who deny their responsibility and go on with their life like they play no part in their responsibility. I find no mercy in people who make up things with very ridiculous reasons, as I consider myself as a forgiving person who’ll let go things if I see an effort in you to patch things up, but never treat me like a 3-year-old kid who accepts all kinds of lame excuses.

It’s only until last term that I find these people hard to be understood and compromised, because I do not know the best solution to deal with their bluntness. They know their mistakes, and they tell you their mistakes straight off the face, but they never apologize, neither will they make an effort to change them. I really don’t mind people making mistakes, but I’m more concerned with the lesson learned from the mistakes as well as their solution to the problem. However, things become so absurd sometimes that I start questioning myself, what do they want from me seriously?

We are all humans, thus making mistakes are unavoidable.However, what matters most is how you change your attitude to avoid making consistent mistakes in future. Don’t expect people to return you the favor without you doing your part responsibly in the first place, just like how you coordinate both legs to walk instead of one, right? Please learn the principles on how this world rules before you rule your own world, as we all are merely a subunit of the universe.