‘When you become who you wanted to be, don't forget why you wanted to be that person in the first place.’
It was in my secondary classmate, Adila’s facebook profile that I saw this sentence and it struck in my Saturday afternoon.
I’ve been looking for my role in life most of the time, because all the while I think, my existence was merely a surprise, since God gave me a chance to live humanly, I should firstly appreciate the ones who brought me to this world, before planting some self-esteem in me. Because they didn’t give up on me, that’s why there is not a valid reason that I should give up on myself at all means.
So I started my journey to look up for the perfect position that can fit me in since young. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a smart person, and I strived hard to keep up with my promise. Workbooks and tuitions were my good friends because of all the guarantees they would have made to my future. I never thought that I put on a lot of pressure in myself, because I knew I could live through it in exchange for a good grade. No one in class even bothered looking at my results because I wasn’t a top scorer, neither was I a teacher’s pet. In the end, I realized it was nothing that I achieved but I already felt tired with my life, the inhumane homework and tuition.
‘And so I asked: Why did I want to become a smart person in the first place?’
And then I moved on, I still wanted to be an outstanding academic performer, but being able to enjoy my life, at least by a bit, I hoped. My tuition classes reduced slightly and I had more outings with friends and family. I would still sleep on my books and memorizing history deadly when examinations were around the corner, I mind my marks and class position very much. But a little different from the past,I enjoyed myself better this time round because I had more outdoor activities. I still followed strictly to curfews and mom’s advices,mainly because I didn’t need a reason to offend it.
‘And so they said: A mummy’s girl who doesn’t dare to be rebellious, do you live for your parents?’
They didn’t tell me straight off on my face, but it didn’t feel any better to have discovered this through other sources.
‘I started to think: Why was I a mummy’s girl?’
I then realized I wasn’t very brilliant or smart, so I accepted the truth to live according to my level and bear with it. This time, I just want to be an average person and do my best for everything that I'm concerned with. I believe more in the learning process which will lead to a better outcome, but not just skipping right to the results without looking at the path you've taken. Also, I tried different sorts of things to find out my interest, and live the way I want it to be while respecting my parents’ decision. Because they didn’t give up on me, that’s why I should prove myself to them, in a different way. I want to contribute to the society, through actions and knowledge. Of course, it is too early for me to say anything, but I’m much more willing to give my life away for a meaningful reason, like doing charity work, donating blood and organs, sharing my friend’s problems etcetera, to give my support.
Because everyone will die one day, and it’s not those that you can’t carry with you that make you cry, but those that you’ve done and can carry with you that give you a reason to smile.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be smart because of the glorious moments and awards I would receive. It was the fame that stole my thoughts and made me live for it, although I didn’t achieve anything big in the end.
Till I was a teenager, I still wanted to be as outstanding as possible,because I didn’t want to lay back and wait for the others to go ahead of me.
But I’m already a young adult now, sometimes I even think I’m childish enough to be a “Kidult’’, I understand that it is an undeniable fact that there are millions of people lining up in front of me, in terms of talent,performance,appearance, that there is nothing I poccess to outcompete them. I don’t feel sorry for being so kiasu in the past, because it has injected confidence in me.However, I can now channel this kiasu-ness to produce more significant and charitable activities, but not to get ahead of the others. I was happy to be a mummy’s girl, because that gave me no reason to guilt on things I wish I could have never said it out and done it to my parents.These were the stepping stones for me to understand, who do I actually want to be.
Because of all these, I began to see myself and the best place for me to stand in; to be myself and still never give up. I can still use my tiny power to help, obey and achieve, to respect life and bite it hard. I don’t need to be angry to those who kicked me hard and never able to leave a footprint in my heart, because they just missed out some of the good parts in my life, that never mattered to them anyway. We just didn’t make it through.
That's why,I chose to be a happy and healthy person who knows how to appreciate, like how mom and dad would pray for me all the time.
Fortunately, I’m one for now and I know why I want it so badly. Because I give my life away to the 2 persons that gave me a life, mom and dad.
Why??You think raising a child is so easy?? I daresay that babysitting is such a restless and sacrificing job, the hardest task in life ever,because I've experienced it.Also due to the experience as a babysitter,it enriches my life and roots my appreciation towards my mother.
I finally understand, that I was, and am already at the best position all these while, just that I didn’t realize, it is important to make the ones beside us happy, rather than dreaming on the impossible, which won’t last long even when they become possible.
Thank you for giving me a chance.
June 27, 2009
June 24, 2009
The greatest achievement in my cooking life so far
I went to Lian's place for a sleepover just few weeks ago. We decided to cook our own dinner.
No, it wasn't a simple one or anything like fried egg with rice. We did everything by ourselves, from menu, to grocery shopping till the entire cooking process, all by ourselves.
I've never cooked a heavy meal like this before, because I'm too pampered by my mom's cooking. Even back to those days in Canada, I would only cook 1 dish for a meal since I was the only one eating it, so no point cooking so much for leftover right?
Our end products.It took us nearly 3 hours to cook it.
A lot of my friends say I love cooking,that's because I think it's a must-learn skill in life. I certainly won't enjoy eating outside for 3 times straight everyday, I would want to try out something that suits my appetite of that day. Furthermore, I feel girls just need to learn cooking, not to prepare themselves as a housewife in future, but to equip themselves with an useful skill which will be important when they're out of the house, out of the comfortable kingdom.
Lastly,as a future food scientist, I definitely need to learn the healthy way of cooking and eating for myself.
=) Shower me with comments on the dishes just by their looks, I'll be appreciating all these comments!
No, it wasn't a simple one or anything like fried egg with rice. We did everything by ourselves, from menu, to grocery shopping till the entire cooking process, all by ourselves.
I've never cooked a heavy meal like this before, because I'm too pampered by my mom's cooking. Even back to those days in Canada, I would only cook 1 dish for a meal since I was the only one eating it, so no point cooking so much for leftover right?
Our end products.It took us nearly 3 hours to cook it.
A lot of my friends say I love cooking,that's because I think it's a must-learn skill in life. I certainly won't enjoy eating outside for 3 times straight everyday, I would want to try out something that suits my appetite of that day. Furthermore, I feel girls just need to learn cooking, not to prepare themselves as a housewife in future, but to equip themselves with an useful skill which will be important when they're out of the house, out of the comfortable kingdom.
Lastly,as a future food scientist, I definitely need to learn the healthy way of cooking and eating for myself.
=) Shower me with comments on the dishes just by their looks, I'll be appreciating all these comments!
Unintended visit to Baiyoke Sky Hotel
Prior to this trip, I promised myself to step on Siroco Sky Bar at the Lebua State Tower with Susie during this trip. There’s obvious reason for me to adore this place after looking at this picture below:
Source:www.myinterestingfiles.com
Sirocco Sky Bar is a rooftop bar and it has been rated for numerous times as the best rooftop bar in the world. At Sirocco, not only do you get a sip of cocktail but also the amazing nightview of Bangkok. Well, forget about the overpriced cocktail, it’s the night view that attracts me the most IF the picture above is not deceiving.
So Susie and I, both dressed up nicely and fully prepared, went out with high anticipation to this last place of our Bangkok stay for a drink.
We asked a few taxi drivers to take us there, showing them the name and address of the bar. But they were either scratching their heads or asking us back in return. Of course, I already had a bad feeling after asking the first driver since I expected it to be a well-known place, ranked 19th on TripAdvisor, no??? How come no one knows the way to go there?
That was where the anticipation started to smash on the ice-cube. Really. It was that disappointing.
Then we met a TukTuk driver who told us that he knew the place, and so we trusted him with no other choices available.
To our horror, he dropped us off at the Baiyoke Sky Hotel which was just 5-minute walking distance from our hotel. At that moment, I really thought we were ripped off since that was a place we passed by everyday during our shopping hours, I wouldn’t be so stupid to recognise the wrong place.
It was when we asked the bellboy at Baiyoke Sky Hotel to 'rescue us from misery'. He showed us the map and told us that it’s AN HOUR OF DRIVING from Pratunam. Don’t blame me for not pre-research in the first place, because I did and based on GoogleMap, the distance is only 4-6 K.M from Pratunam, how could it take 1 hour to right??
Feeling really disappointed, we found this place-Baiyoke Sky Hotel, the tallest hotel in Bangkok. There is a package that costs 250 Baht for a drink and popcorn at the bar+ entrance to the 360° observation desk & Sky walk.
Obviously, the package was a YES from me. So there comes our sudden switch of plan.
Knowing that we have a place to putter a good night,my heart felt better. At least we didn’t have to head back to the hotel and sleep early.
Speaking about the place,the revolving desk was fantastic. It was an open-aired area and the neon lights changed colours throughout the night. We could fully enjoy the wind while scrutinizing the Bangkok night view.
We crapped, we took photos, we said goodbye to Bangkok.
We went to the bar after getting tired of our lame jokes. The bar was another amazing place to be. It was quiet and there were singers performing on the stage with a series of popular songs. It was a moment of silence between Susie and I, because we both knew we needed some time to be carried away from the busy lifestyle of ours, and then drown into the heart-melting voices of these singers.
That’s why they say, “Silence is gold”, although it only applies to me occasionally.
I looked at the night view outside, the lights and buildings, thinking of the reality we're going to face, in 2 months time.Both of us are getting apart with each other soon, one in Paris, another one in Vancouver, that’s why we both understand the significance of this trip. Trying to dilute my pessimistic thought, I did make every second of my time in Bangkok with her happily, crazily and unforgettable. It’s the heart that matters, eventhough we’re distant from each other.
Plus I truly believe that we will meet again some day.=)
Maybe it was fated that I didn’t make it to Sirocco, and went to Baiyoke in the end. But good things happen with the right bunch of people staying beside you after a big disappointment, and I've experienced that. It was still a very comfortable night to wrap up our trip.
I sincerely thank Susie for this trip, every bit of it was a treasure to me, *including the tiger show?* Oppsie. But thank you for making it happen.
Although I will wonder, ‘When will our next trip be?’
Source:www.myinterestingfiles.com
Sirocco Sky Bar is a rooftop bar and it has been rated for numerous times as the best rooftop bar in the world. At Sirocco, not only do you get a sip of cocktail but also the amazing nightview of Bangkok. Well, forget about the overpriced cocktail, it’s the night view that attracts me the most IF the picture above is not deceiving.
So Susie and I, both dressed up nicely and fully prepared, went out with high anticipation to this last place of our Bangkok stay for a drink.
We asked a few taxi drivers to take us there, showing them the name and address of the bar. But they were either scratching their heads or asking us back in return. Of course, I already had a bad feeling after asking the first driver since I expected it to be a well-known place, ranked 19th on TripAdvisor, no??? How come no one knows the way to go there?
That was where the anticipation started to smash on the ice-cube. Really. It was that disappointing.
Then we met a TukTuk driver who told us that he knew the place, and so we trusted him with no other choices available.
To our horror, he dropped us off at the Baiyoke Sky Hotel which was just 5-minute walking distance from our hotel. At that moment, I really thought we were ripped off since that was a place we passed by everyday during our shopping hours, I wouldn’t be so stupid to recognise the wrong place.
It was when we asked the bellboy at Baiyoke Sky Hotel to 'rescue us from misery'. He showed us the map and told us that it’s AN HOUR OF DRIVING from Pratunam. Don’t blame me for not pre-research in the first place, because I did and based on GoogleMap, the distance is only 4-6 K.M from Pratunam, how could it take 1 hour to right??
Feeling really disappointed, we found this place-Baiyoke Sky Hotel, the tallest hotel in Bangkok. There is a package that costs 250 Baht for a drink and popcorn at the bar+ entrance to the 360° observation desk & Sky walk.
Obviously, the package was a YES from me. So there comes our sudden switch of plan.
Knowing that we have a place to putter a good night,my heart felt better. At least we didn’t have to head back to the hotel and sleep early.
Speaking about the place,the revolving desk was fantastic. It was an open-aired area and the neon lights changed colours throughout the night. We could fully enjoy the wind while scrutinizing the Bangkok night view.
We crapped, we took photos, we said goodbye to Bangkok.
We went to the bar after getting tired of our lame jokes. The bar was another amazing place to be. It was quiet and there were singers performing on the stage with a series of popular songs. It was a moment of silence between Susie and I, because we both knew we needed some time to be carried away from the busy lifestyle of ours, and then drown into the heart-melting voices of these singers.
That’s why they say, “Silence is gold”, although it only applies to me occasionally.
I looked at the night view outside, the lights and buildings, thinking of the reality we're going to face, in 2 months time.Both of us are getting apart with each other soon, one in Paris, another one in Vancouver, that’s why we both understand the significance of this trip. Trying to dilute my pessimistic thought, I did make every second of my time in Bangkok with her happily, crazily and unforgettable. It’s the heart that matters, eventhough we’re distant from each other.
Plus I truly believe that we will meet again some day.=)
Maybe it was fated that I didn’t make it to Sirocco, and went to Baiyoke in the end. But good things happen with the right bunch of people staying beside you after a big disappointment, and I've experienced that. It was still a very comfortable night to wrap up our trip.
I sincerely thank Susie for this trip, every bit of it was a treasure to me, *including the tiger show?* Oppsie. But thank you for making it happen.
Although I will wonder, ‘When will our next trip be?’
June 23, 2009
June 16, 2009
Bangkok Escapade Part 1
God knows how long have I procrastinated on blogging but I’m glad that I’m dropping a few words here again.
PART 1 : SIGHTSEEING
My Bangkok trip with Susie just ended last Friday and we both had a blast like how we promised it.As planned, we spent 70% of our time on shopping and the other 30% for sightseeing, since we both know that it’s we’re more inclined into shopping than sightseeing given the time constraint. Good thing is, our ground package also included a half-day tour on the second day, which fitted so much to our desires.
Bangkok’s temples are a pleasure to discover, because they’re either the biggest or tallest that I’ve seen in life. To top that up, most of the temples have very unique and splendorous designs. Take Wat Arun as an example, it’s a tower-like temple with layers and layers of Buddha statues coating the tower.
The Standing Buddha is quite impressive but unfortunately it’s under renovation the time I was there, sort of distracting my mood for massive photo capturing.
I broke another record in this trip, which was taking the shortest and cheapest boat ride ever. It only took a negligible 1 minute to go across the river, and only at 3 Baht (~ RM 0.30)
1 minute –just enough for 2 photos! How did I know that?
Because I never had the chance to take another one down after capturing a photograph for my friend, and then another one for myself. By that time, we’ve already reached our destination.
PART 2: SHOPPING
I can roughly understand why girls love shopping in Bangkok after looking at the price and design. That’s because Bangkok is deservingly, truly a shopping paradise. It’s one of those rare places where you can spend like nobody’s business and buy as much as possible to dress up yourself. Call me a big spender but I believe not much people can resist a pair of ballerina shoes for 100 Baht (~RM 10) and dresses at the price of 200 Baht (~RM 20).
CAN YOU?? CAN YOU?? They’re just some pretty and attractive to me.
We shopped everyday at Pratunam Market and Platinum Fashion Mall which were just a 3-minute walk from our hotel. Both of them are located in Pratunam which is basically a wholesale market area. It was really the so-called ‘shop till drop’ type of shopping style because we shopped everyday, even until the last day, until the last few hours of our stay in Bangkok, WE SHOPPED.
The only question to ask ourselves before heading to bed everynight is to ‘buy or not buy’; just that easy.
Oh well, at least I got to taste the feeling of sleeping on rows of new clothes and shoes. That was a moment of satisfaction!
PART 1 : SIGHTSEEING
My Bangkok trip with Susie just ended last Friday and we both had a blast like how we promised it.As planned, we spent 70% of our time on shopping and the other 30% for sightseeing, since we both know that it’s we’re more inclined into shopping than sightseeing given the time constraint. Good thing is, our ground package also included a half-day tour on the second day, which fitted so much to our desires.
Bangkok’s temples are a pleasure to discover, because they’re either the biggest or tallest that I’ve seen in life. To top that up, most of the temples have very unique and splendorous designs. Take Wat Arun as an example, it’s a tower-like temple with layers and layers of Buddha statues coating the tower.
The Standing Buddha is quite impressive but unfortunately it’s under renovation the time I was there, sort of distracting my mood for massive photo capturing.
I broke another record in this trip, which was taking the shortest and cheapest boat ride ever. It only took a negligible 1 minute to go across the river, and only at 3 Baht (~ RM 0.30)
1 minute –just enough for 2 photos! How did I know that?
Because I never had the chance to take another one down after capturing a photograph for my friend, and then another one for myself. By that time, we’ve already reached our destination.
PART 2: SHOPPING
I can roughly understand why girls love shopping in Bangkok after looking at the price and design. That’s because Bangkok is deservingly, truly a shopping paradise. It’s one of those rare places where you can spend like nobody’s business and buy as much as possible to dress up yourself. Call me a big spender but I believe not much people can resist a pair of ballerina shoes for 100 Baht (~RM 10) and dresses at the price of 200 Baht (~RM 20).
CAN YOU?? CAN YOU?? They’re just some pretty and attractive to me.
We shopped everyday at Pratunam Market and Platinum Fashion Mall which were just a 3-minute walk from our hotel. Both of them are located in Pratunam which is basically a wholesale market area. It was really the so-called ‘shop till drop’ type of shopping style because we shopped everyday, even until the last day, until the last few hours of our stay in Bangkok, WE SHOPPED.
The only question to ask ourselves before heading to bed everynight is to ‘buy or not buy’; just that easy.
Oh well, at least I got to taste the feeling of sleeping on rows of new clothes and shoes. That was a moment of satisfaction!
June 05, 2009
Trips ^_^ but money -_-
I’m working on my summer vacation this year with different bunch of friends.I start off with my 4D3N Bangkok trip with Susie Sia next week,who's also one of my best travel companions. This is our second trip together, I enjoy travelling with her because we have so much in common when it comes to vacation. We respect each other’s decision and try to make a blasting trip for both of us.I find it difficult to search for easy-going and tolerable travel companions,yet they are so influential in the happiness level of a trip since it depends more on the person beside you when it comes to a blasting trip, with breathtaking scenary backing it up.
In July, I’ll be going to Langkawi with my primary buddies. This is my third trip with them, including our primary school graduation trip. It’s always a comfort to travel with them because they never fail to tickle my laughing bones , simply because the time we’ve spent together makes us crazier and sillier especially when we've a few days on our own.
Soon after that, I’ll be having a summer trip with my family, although it's still under progression. The last trip we had in Cambodia was already 2 years back, and we’re not planning to go far this year, since our destination will still be centered in Asian countries. I always feel great to realize the existence of the rests from all over the globe, because we’re all different and it’s this difference that makes me curious about the way we live through our lives differently, yet fantastic in our own ways.
Can you believe it??
I’ve started planning for my summer vacation 2010.I’m planning a NZ trip only for Valerie Tan, so this year is going to be a money-saving year. The only reason for this trip is to visit her since I’ve not seen her for 1.5 years, and I’ve never ever been separated from her for this long since the day we knew each other. That’s why I’m longing for my wish to come true, but wish remains as wish if nothing is done, so the only way to make it happen is to work harder this summer and cut down my expenses on everything else other than trips.
GAH. I Just need to start SAVING MONEY desperately.
In July, I’ll be going to Langkawi with my primary buddies. This is my third trip with them, including our primary school graduation trip. It’s always a comfort to travel with them because they never fail to tickle my laughing bones , simply because the time we’ve spent together makes us crazier and sillier especially when we've a few days on our own.
Soon after that, I’ll be having a summer trip with my family, although it's still under progression. The last trip we had in Cambodia was already 2 years back, and we’re not planning to go far this year, since our destination will still be centered in Asian countries. I always feel great to realize the existence of the rests from all over the globe, because we’re all different and it’s this difference that makes me curious about the way we live through our lives differently, yet fantastic in our own ways.
Can you believe it??
I’ve started planning for my summer vacation 2010.I’m planning a NZ trip only for Valerie Tan, so this year is going to be a money-saving year. The only reason for this trip is to visit her since I’ve not seen her for 1.5 years, and I’ve never ever been separated from her for this long since the day we knew each other. That’s why I’m longing for my wish to come true, but wish remains as wish if nothing is done, so the only way to make it happen is to work harder this summer and cut down my expenses on everything else other than trips.
GAH. I Just need to start SAVING MONEY desperately.
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