Trust? I only have some.

Just recently, I skype a lot with my friends who now live in Kiwi, Kangaroo, or Hibiscus land. Half of them come from other states in Malaysia, but somehow destiny brought us together and we’ve become intimate friends. We’re so close that we talk about everything openly, without having to worry that it’ll leave them a bad impression on me,because I’m all that to them.

So they are willing to open up themselves to me after knowing each other for years, and revealed secrets that I didn’t know at all. Many of them told me the same thing about their first impression on people who were born and live in the city,

I didn’t really give it a deep thought when I first heard it from Lian,
She said:K.L ( my hometown) people are nasty and materialistic, especially K.L girls.

And then Susie came to tell me :When I first came to K.L, people in here are cold and materialistic.

Then the third person, Lawrence said similar thing to me last week.

It was then I started giving a second thought on their impression towards K.L people, meanwhile feeling so bad for making them feel that way about us, the K.L people. Based on my experiences, I did come across with nasty and super materialistic people since secondary school. Backstabbers, users, liars are nothing new to me.

I started up meeting new friends with a pure heart, but over the years it’s getting more and more ‘contaminated’ that I can’t treat every new friend with the same attitude anymore. No one knows when I’ve given my best to them, some friends can’t stop demanding something from me, and abuse every of my kindness, hard work, and lastly, trust.

Things like,

Either steal all my work or leave most of the work for me, and then crown their names on it.
Back stabbed and lied to me as easy as drinking water.
That’s when I think ‘kind’ is not a compliment.

Banged the table when my friends and I refused to donate money for a charitable organization.

Brought me along without telling me her plan. I was just a bait for her to know someone and date.
That’s when I think, 7 years of friendship lost to a guy.

Targeted me immediately when he couldn’t get my best friend and made promises so easily.
That’s when I think, sometimes guys just need a companion, not a girlfriend.

Liked me out of some motives, including money.
That’s when I think, would it be better if I didn’t have anything to start with.

Yup, all these happened on me before, and I came up with 2 conclusions:

1. Some people only need me in times of hardships, depressions, companion or whenever they need help, and that's it.
2. Don't expect much from the others, have more faith in yourself.

Every incident seems small when we look at it on an individual basis, but it becomes a pain when too many of them accumulate, till one point I feel so numb that I don't know how should I react.Because I know the feeling, I never wanted the same shattered pieces of things and people coming back to me again.

It takes time for me to believe it when people say I’m their best friend.To them, I may be like a convenient store, always available for something.
That happened. Some friends left me when they got something.

I hesitate a lot when guys confess to me; I can’t see the reason why. Maybe they just need a temporary companion, and I happened to pass by and play the role well.
That happened. Guy friends thanked me and appreciated my help,then they walked away with another girl.

I take it more as a joke when a guy says: You’re special. You’re the kind of girl that guys would like to protect.
I smiled, but I knew we might not be able to make it. And that happened because 3 months later, he forgot my birthday. 3 years later, he didn’t bother to say hi to me anymore.

I don’t believe in forever, because things change, people change.

That’s when I became more optimistic, and chose to forgive and forget.
If there weren’t supposed to be expectation and hope at first, then I wasn’t losing anything, but I just went on without that expectation and hope.

In the end, the environment that we live in may not be the biggest problem, because heroes and villains don’t flock around together anywhere, they are found everywhere. When a person’s heart is locked up and trust diminishes, then it would be so difficult to open it up again. Sometimes, being materialistic is just a way for people to protect themselves from things they really lack, in which materials may be able to compensate with that. If not, at least materials can bring physical security and stability in daily lives, then they won’t have to worry about one more problem in their lives. This world is full of imperfections and selfishness, instead of having so much hope on someone, it's always good to keep the hope and faith in yourself and do your best to make good things happen.

In the end, my biggest enemy falls on the same soul which created me, which is myself.

Why white hair and insomnia?

These 2 things upset me.

Why would I roll on the bed for 3 hours few days ago, because I drank milk tea at night. >_<

I saw the first ever strip of white hair on my head last week, and why is this happening? >_<

I don’t know why. But I’m already 21 years old, I’m not a kid anymore, it’s not like you give me a cotton candy and I will stay happy for the whole day.

I want to be honest to myself this time.
I don’t want to smile and pretend that I’m good all the time.
I feel like running non-stop until I’m tired and then get a good sleep.
I want to squad down and laugh in the middle of the road as though I’m constipated.

Tell me, this is not me. Because I thought my life was very organized.


Tell me, this is just a phase that I need to walk through. So, give me some time to figure out the problems and handle them properly.

So white hair don’t grow anymore, ok?

迟来的‘喜讯’

前几天，大小老公一起见面，聊起了我们的关系。

刘伟泥说是时候给彼此一个名分，所以呢，她就说要在Facebook公告天下，这样就不怕大家出轨啦（显然不是我先出轨，lol）。所以呢，我们‘结了婚’大约5-6年后，终于正式公告天下了。

她应该是担心我一个人会寂寞，所以就打算要把快乐感染给我。老公很称职，甚至介绍了保镖--男友头号给我认识，跟我通风报信，偶尔提醒我要早睡觉，一个人在外地要好好照顾自己。其实，她也很了解我的性格，我一定能照顾好自己滴。

很多人无法了解我们的关系。我想，没跟我们一起走过的人还真的无法看透当中酸甜苦辣的回忆。还记得来之前，她写了满满一本日记簿送给我，里头的每一页都记载着我们从相识，相知，到互相扶持的旅程。原来，已经过了8年了。我在加拿大的第一年，老公过年过节，甚至是友谊週，情人节都会寄D.I.Y卡片给我，为我送上最热腾腾的佳节气息。到了第二年，老公心里住了多一个人，虽然卡片少了，但她的关心也不曾少过，她说会一直提醒我她的优点，我想，你才该感谢我的衷心吧=P。

之前心情不好，老公及时送上最温暖的安慰。她什么也没问，只是说了句：“我一定会支持你的”
我想，如果你在我身边就好了，有个肩膀可以靠。

之后，老公动了手术，要在家休息一阵子，无法表演令她深感遗憾。
我知道她很沮丧，可是也同时也希望她不要停止期待下次表演的机会。

刘伟泥铁人，
我把我5 分耐力借给你，我相信你有朝一日表演会用到它的。
我把我4分好运送给你，我相信铁人跟超人会一直幸福快乐下去。
我把我3分快乐分你，那你难过的时候还有储存起来的快乐可以备用。
我把我2分关心给你，因为我知道有人会给予超标的关心，所以2分就够了。
我把1份好消息送你，就是不用担心我，我没事，我没事，我没事。

她怕我不开心，就寄了2封很有意思的emails鼓励我，并祝福我找到一位好人。我想，我应该遇到了吧，不然也不会嫁给她了。看来被肯定的感觉很好，感觉到‘地位’不受威胁。

谢谢你一直以来的支持与信任。接下来的日子，我们要一起努力!

Coke speaks

I realized that I haven't really blogged about Coca-cola although I’ve been keeping up with this habit of collecting cola cans for 8 years.

I started collecting cola cans when I was 13 years old. One day, when I was in a supermarket in Shanghai, I saw a coca-cola can with chinese writing on it “可口可乐”. I thought it was an interesting thing to collect cola cans from all over the world since they consist of different languages, sizes, designs, and also some limited editions cans when a special occasion is around. That marked off the start of my habit with coca-cola cans.



When people go for travelling, they’ll usually make up a list of must-do-things in a foreign country. A little different from theirs, one of my must-do and must-buy things in a new place would be coca-cola can, therefore drug marts or supermarkets will usually be one of my targets.

Why do I love coca-cola so much? Why not pepsi since you like blue colour?

That’s a good question. I guess it’s the mouthfeel of cola because I’ve been drinking coke all the while.It’s more gassy, less sweet and tastes better. So if I were given a chance to collect something between these two brands, I would definitely go for my personal favourite.



To me, coke somehow resembles world union because it does not discriminate, it is universal and majority of the people from all walks of life love it. Everyone will be able to get a can of coke with less than 2 dollars. Coke speaks different languages too, although the taste may be different for different countries,but when I see the red can, I know my love is somewhere near. Having said that, I’m not really crazy over coke and I don’t drink it every day. Over the years, my main reason of drinking it is to collect the can, besides the sudden crave occasionally.

I took some pictures before I left home last year, when I was packing for my new home.I roughly calculated my cola cans and they were approximately 110 cans.


Coke of different flavours and designs.


Coke of different sizes


Mini coke (US)


S.H.E


“北京欢迎您”(Beijing Olympic 2008 collection-Beijing welcomes you)

Now that I've moved to a new house, I've a problem.

Where to put the 100+ cans in my room? HOWWW?

That's a good question I've to think about when I go back home this year.

Because me and you are different

So, recently I had dinner with some friends, and then we chatted on some topics which I usually would try to avoid. I forgot how did we start it, but the conversation was roughly as below

A= the person B=me

Scenario 1
A: I must, must enter this particular programme.
B: Me too. But even if I don’t, I know I have other options. I guess I’ll be graduating in 2012 since it’s a 4-year programme.
A: Ya, I must graduate in 4 years too, I’m glad I did not fail any courses so far. But you’re much more flexible since you’re not a scholar.Maybe it’ll take you 4.5-5 years to graduate, you can take another semester.
B: (shocked). Oh but I will work harder and hopefully I’ll be able to graduate in 4 years, just don’t want to waste my parents’ money.
A: (continues her whine). Yea, I must work hard and get into this programme too.

Scenario 2:

A: Did you learn about ------ in class?
B: Oh, no I haven heard of it before.
A: How come you don't know about---? I'm pretty sure that it's taught in class.
B: Erm, I guess I'm not there yet.
A: continues ..... (which I smiled all the way)

A then attempted to compare on our knowledge continuously, which lasted for half of the entire dinner session. Frankly, it’s not the first time I’ve been put into similar conversations since I came here, and I’ll usually be the usual me, smile and attempt to reply it in a polite manner, because I don’t want that to pull down my self-esteem, and I don’t want to be harsh.

However, A reminds me again that A and I come from a different world, maybe that’s why I find it better to remain silent while listening to A’s opinion, because the path we took is different, so it’s always good to hear from A and not comment on it.

Comparing intelligence between each other is never a thing that I’d like to do with A, because I know my capability, therefore I never doubt on A’s intelligence based on what A achieved and is offered to. But if you gained the pride from the thought of standing above me-the ordinary one, then it’s not wrong for me to take a step back and shield myself from a fight. In short, I’d rather keep quiet than boast on my academic performance, when it’s nothing for me to be proud of.

I respect your intelligence, I respect your thoughts,and I hope that these two elements will not be the only basis that forms our friendship bond.

Often I see the difference between the others and I, let alone academic performance, but also in terms of thoughts, interests, self-esteem, and confidence level. I’m not a scholar, I know, and that will never be a world of mine because I’m an average kid, and I’ve accepted the fact. I hope you will accept me for who I am and we can become friends.I wouldn't want to draw a line between you and I if you could show me your sincerity in building up our friendships, but not gaining happiness by dancing on my bones and challenging my EQ continuously.My bones will break one day,just so you know.

I’m not really angry, and I wouldn't even want to blog this out if it only happened for once. I’m just continuously being reminded that me and you are different, or maybe, we come from a different world. But what's said is said,I will leave it aside and continue to work harder to reach my target. Meanwhile I hope A, and everyone else will also excel in their academic performance and accomplish their goals.

My creative BB meals

One day, I was craving for Korean cuisine-Bibimbap, and I couldn’t find anyone up for it. So from that day onwards, I promise myself to learn Bibimbap so that it won’t be out of reach when I want it so badly.For those of you who have no idea on what Bibimbap is, it’s like Korean mixed rice whereby you mix your ingredients with the Korean chili paste with some sesame sprinkled on it.

So, I looked up for some simple recipes of Bibimbap and bought the important ingredients, and then modified some parts of it. That was how the first ever bowl of Bibimbap(I call it 拌拌饭(ban ban fan) )was born in my kitchen. Don't be deceived by the look, it was scrumptious and healthy because a lot of ingredients were added (sliced baby carrots,minced chicken,vegetables,egg, and fish tohu)

Thinking that I could make more use of the chili paste since it’s quite a big bottle, I went out of the box and tried to cook something else with the paste.

I mind you:From here onwards, be prepared of some really weird stuffs which you may not have seen or even heard before. That’s because I just invented them also, and that usually happens when I miss out certain ingredients and I'm out of time.Therefore, the best way is to mix ingredients I've in the fridge which 'seem' to make a good blend.

Fusion+fusion, it’s even more complicated than a mixed blood baby because basically I combined anything that I could think of and put my cooking skills into maximum use. I mixed several types of cuisines together and there it was-another baby was born in the kitchen.

拌拌乌冬面 Ban Ban(BB) Udon


My housemate was not convinced that this tasted good, she told me not to eat 拌拌(mixed)stuff always, because one day I would become 笨笨 (stupid). To her, 拌拌饭=笨笨饭 (Bibimbap= Stupid rice)， and therefore 拌拌乌冬面=笨笨乌冬面 (BB udon=Stupid udon) which is quite funny when translated into Mandarin.

Of course I know that she was joking, hence I did not give up on my ban ban’s cooking recipes so easily. I proceeded down the route and one day, I invented another new thing.

This was totally unexpected because I created it under ‘pressure’. Few days ago, I so wanted to stuff my stomach with pasta, but halfway cooking the manicotti, I noticed that I was running out of pasta sauce.

Worst thing was I did not have milk either, so I couldn’t cook carbonara pasta.

AHHHHHHHH.So how?

Deng deng, there comes the life saver of the day- Korean chili paste. I quickly stirred it with water , sliced some baby carrots, and put it on the saucepan without hesitation, not even a second of hesitation because I knew I didn’t have a choice.

‘I’ll just eat whatever that it turns out to be’, I whispered.
(p/s:Shh, don't laugh at me.)

拌拌pasta =ban ban(BB) pasta



Third baby was born this year, and trust me, it was really good (2 thumbs up for BB pasta). It tasted better than baby Udon because the chili paste had a better blend with the chewy manicotti. It’s kind of like an Asian version of pasta, without cheese, milk, and butter. Also,the appearance reminded me of ddeokbokki, since it was reddish with some pasta-alike noodles in it.



I think it’s really worthwhile to buy the Korean chili paste because BB meals have been served as my dinner quite frequently since the day first baby was born. Oops, it looks like I’m indulged in my own world with all the BB meals, but who cares,I've pushed the utility of Korean chili paste onto the next level, at least to satisfy myself.I'm really glad that so many babies were born in my kitchen in these few months,and they were all good looking(internally and externally of course).=P

And who says only babies can have baby meals?

I have my own BB meals too.

Oh, I found my song!

I'm not a fan of Beatles, but somehow I'm quite familiar with their songs because those were the songs my mom used to listen and sing when I was young. Their songs are classic, because it takes what a good song needs to be, to be remembered and sung by the millions of hearts. Of course, I'd rather listen to Beatles all day long than Lady Gaga's.Listening to those meaningless lyrics like 'Rah rah ah-ah-ah!Ro mah ro-mah-mah Gaga Ooh-la-la!' seriously makes me sweat three times.

But today,I found an interesting song to resemble my name. I've come across with a Beatles's song, called 'Michelle', I'm just surprised that I didn't know it (I know I should have known it earlier).So I clicked on it and started listening, it shares the common style Beatles's songs have-simple melody, easy-to-remember lyrics,so it's easy to follow up with the music.

I'm always proud of my name(Michelle),because it has the same initial as my chinese name(Mun). I think it's important to keep up with the pride , so that it makes you feel comfortable when someone calls you by your name.Then I made some effort to look up the meaning of my name over the internet.Surprisingly,Michelle means 'like God?', so the word Michelle is popularly understood to have a strong linkage with God. (He he.Now you know you shouldn't mess with the wrong person.)

But my all-time favourites are always 'Yesterday', 'Hey Jude', and 'I wanna hold your hands'. Odd but I'm very sure that these are the songs that I will remember for the rest of my life.These are the songs that I'll hum when I sit down quietly one day and not knowing what to do.These are the ones that will pop up my head first.I think that's why the word 'legendary' is crowned on them, because it only takes a while to remember their songs, but since then there'll always be a place in heart for songs as such.



Oh, I believe in yesterday.

But I also believe in tomorrow.

Something for bear bear young

I wrote a post earlier on a special birthday gift I received last year, which were 2 jigsaw puzzle keychains.

When it was my turn to think for that person's birthday present, I spent 3+ months digging every bit of my creative juices to think of a nice and suitable gift for bear bear young.

After spending such a long time thinking of a gift, what I came up was not the best that I could think of, but something that’s definitely going to be only one in this world. Although I’m not even sure if guys use doorplate, I think as long as they don’t need to spend time decorating the room, then they won’t mind someone else does it for them, right?

I’m not sure though. If not, they can just keep it also.

Sometimes, I really like his surname(熊), because it allows me to think of something more girly. Also, I think he absolute has the priviledge to own some bears and bears-related stuff, because he is part of the family.

Maybe that’s also why you’re part of my Pooh bear family- Pooh the beloved GG aka big brother.

So here comes a late birthday wish from me.

Once again, Happy Belated Birthday Bear Bear Young
(If translated to Chinese, it would be 熊X3 already!=P)

Bubbletea

Some people can’t seem to understand my obsession towards this flavoured drink, because it is nothing more than sugars, colourings, and artificial fruit flavours.

Yes, BBT is one of the few things I can’t stop consuming.
No, there’s never going to be a stop, there’s only going to be minimal intake of BBT.

Come to think of it, there are more than enough reasons for me to explain my indulgence. There’s not much drink out there where you can have a wide variety of flavours to select from. What makes BBT even better is that it’s a 2-in-1 drink, you get to eat and drink in a beverage. I can quench my thirst while enjoy the mouthfeel of the tapioca balls.

It’ not exaggerating to say that bubbletea is my happy pill since it has the power to cheer me up when I have mood swing (besides sleeping, tee hee hee).Sometimes, I feel much better even by just looking at the colour of the drink. It reminds me that this world has much more colourful things, besides the grey zone I’m put into occasionally. Also,BBT reflects my mood sometimes,as I tend to drink different flavour according to different mood.Drinking BBT can also be interesting because there'll always be new flavours available, and it's good for people like me who have wonderments on the taste, so I take up the challenge.

To me, bubbletea is not just a bubbletea, it’s a way to make my life happier by having more choices and a better mood. Just like Milo is never solely about a cocoa drink to me, it brings about my childhood memories and a 16-year habit at minimum.

Therefore, I’m always proud to say, I LOVE BBT. I really do.

I think if BBT was a guy, I would have married him already. Maybe I really will.

When I look back into 2009 Finale

Pooh says “2009 was an exuberant year to my owner, so it’s worth spending some time reminiscing with her.”

“Hmm, so what was the best thing that happened in 2009?”

I don’t know. Most of the memories were good, I just watched a talk show about happiness, the host mentioned that the reason we’re not happy sometimes is because we like to enlarge the unhappiness which is only a minor part of our life.




Somehow, what he says is absolutely true in real life. I especially like the part when he talks about the usage of the word ‘eternity’, because eternity is so abstract to me that it doesn’t exist in real life.

The world is becoming so disastrous nowadays, so what’s all about my sappy stories and failures? It’s nothing compared to the battle the world is fighting against.

Learning how to get a life was my mission in 2009, and I achieved that. I hope I’ll keep going on with the optimistic and spirit to work on what I believe. It’s not that I’m not lustful over my desires, but I do believe in the saying ‘what goes around comes around’. I don’t really force something to happen, unless it is a must-happen thing which requires some work to give it a little push. It’s never too late to quit if you figured out things are not going on the right track, taking a step back and going for another option is not entirely a bad thing, and this applies to everything in our daily lives, regardless of studies, relationships, or any determining decisions. It’s not a rule to go forward only, there are also U-turn and reverse.

In 2009, both good and bad things happened on my beloved ones, and these incidents inspired me a lot. One of my close friends fell sick and she took quite some time to undergo different treatments and chemotherapies. There were times when I was really worried about her, the thought upset me. But her bravery really motivates me a lot, and I really admire her determination for completing the whole run.Despite of the ups and downs, she still managed to reach the finishing line. My friend,I sincerely feel so proud of you, I hope you will get to enjoy your ideal vacation soon.

Another good friend was mentally ill and lots of things had happened on her in these few years. I won’t say much about it, but I really hope that she’ll be clear on her goals in life someday soon, and not to forget, we are always where we are. Try putting yourself on the stage and think of the best play you can manage,but not what others think you can manage. Good luck, my dear friend!

Last 2 things that shocked me out were the good and bad news coming from my two husbands around the same time. Big husband is officially in a relationship while small husband ended her relationship with her boyfriend. Receiving 2 shocking news as such which are so ironic really left me nothing to say at first, because I feel happy for Win, but I feel sorry for El since I’ve seen that guy and I thought he’s good for her. Again, I may not know the insights of things and therefore I’m not up for any comment,it's just that both news were very surprising to me.Love is unpredictable, perhaps what both of you did was the best choice for your own good after giving so much consideration about it.


Good thing is, you guys seem to be really happy while busy for you new life, and so do I. Just remember the fact that there’ll always be reserved hugs and a good Valentine for you guys regardless of anything that happens.

And me? Don’t worry, I’ll be a good wife and maintain my loyalty.

To wrap things up, let me take this opportunity to thank everyone of you who made my 2009 a total blast.

But there are so many people for me to thank, so how?

I drew out a picture with Pooh in it, hoping to bribe you guys with the adorable Pooh.



Thank you for reading all the 4 parts, and walking down the memory lane with me. It’s my pleasure to have you guys to back me up always.

I love you,everyone of you.

What’s going to happen in 2010?

I don’t know, and I have no resolutions for it, I will just do what I can, and wait for the outcome.

When I look back into 2009 Part III

I went to a few field trips last year (a field trip to a semi-virgin forest to collect data, UBC farm trip, and a dairy farm trip). The most special one would be the field trip to a dairy farm, which fell on my birthday. I was really excited about it, because never in my life had I seen a dairy farm before, what more about the entire breeding and milking process. The whole farm is operated by a family called Kitzel, and each of them explained the different sectors in cow's
milk production.

So with the other classmates, I walked through the whole farm-from the milking machine, cow’s barn, dike, till the cow’s pit(last picture) where cow’s poo is neatly placed. Let’s start from the milking machine, notice that the cows do not have tails because that’s for hygiene purpose during the milking process. Last time, when milk was collected manually, cows tend to fling their tail and splash the milk on the milk collector. Therefore, the tails are gone now. The way they milk the cow is by putting the milkers on the teats. The milk collected will then go to a bottle-like bowl and be kept cold till it’s collected by the milk truck.

Speaking about the cow’s pit, it is as big as a basketball court, no joke on that, and Kitzel family is currently working on using the cow’s poo as an energy source to run the farm. Good thing was, I did not suffocate when I walked near it because it did not have the unpleasant smell at all. Then, we went to visit the cow’s barn. There are 3 barns altogether, 1 for the cows&bulls, 1 for the calves, and another one for the pregnant cows. Lastly, we were taught on the cow’s feed-silages stored in the silo.

There were too much to learn in this trip, and I was really glad to have field trips as such to trigger my interest in agricultural field since it’s directly related to my course as well. ^_^ There you go, a good learning trip and also an unforgettable birthday I had.



In 2009,I received a lot of cards, presents, notes and warm wishes from my friends. Mostly consist of encouraging words to wish me all the best in a foreign world. The most touching part was that, they sent me cards on special occasions like Friendship week, Chinese New Year, and Valentine’s day. You name it, I have it.I like D.I.Y things, especially handwritten cards because I love seeing people’s handwriting, it somewhat tells you a bit about that person.

Others sent me secret notes, poems, e-cards and other methods of greetings.And yea,I have a really good news to tell you all:I have a special space reserved for all these cards, so that I can see them whenever I need some nights for memories.
Sometimes I really wish that you guys were here with me, breathing the same air, seeing the same scenery, and living under the same sky, but this seems like asking too much from you guys. Vancouver is like an isolated place, distant 12,781 K.M from Kuala Lumpur, so far that it hurts my butt everytime I fly back home.

But then, I found another good way to express my love for you guys.I began taking scenery pictures to show you guys the place that I’m currently living, the view that I’m looking, to make you feel what I feel, hopefully. I’ve also started my money-saving plan so that I can visit you guys one by one.

For those in Hong Kong (=P Atlee GG will be there soon), NZ (Valerie), Paris(Susie), Aus (My territory, too many people on the list), England (HW,and soon for Lawrence). I’m not sure if I could visit them all, but I guess 1 or 2 will be possible if I worked hard enough.

Just wait for me.

At the same time, please TRY to save some money for an air-ticket to Vancouver, I beg you. At least give it a try!

我不难懂

有人说我很难懂.为什么？

我常傻笑，无论开心或不开心的时候；

我常发呆，通常是因为我在想东西；

我喜欢蓝色，因为蓝色代表平静与和平；

我读Food Science，但却不是很爱吃的人；

我不算瘦，所以不需要安慰我，我选择接受现实；

我是水桶，千万别跟我比赛喝水；

我不聪明，靠得是勤劳；

除了bee mun,我也是pig mun，因为我喜欢睡觉；

我常被误认是日韩人，所以常听到一大堆外星语；

我的人生与雨及雪融为一体，就如我的名字一样；

我讨厌恐怖片，始终不明白为何要花10多块来吓自己；

我很少会有非买不可的东西，我觉得喜欢不一定要拥有；

活了20年只为一个人写过歌，就是他；

我偶尔喜欢一个人到处走，因为有助于观察与思考；

我太冷静，很多事憋到最后一刻还是发泄不出来；

我太理智，有时候宁愿选择相信理性多余感情；

我记忆力蛮好，所以别人说谎的时候我会懂；

我忍耐力很强，也许我习惯性过滤坏话；

我常保持沉默，那是保护自己的方法；

亲情对我来说，是心脏，常在我心；

友情对我来说，是人体，连为一体；

爱情对我来说，很难懂，不知怎形容；

我从不担心单身情人节，因为我知道我不是一个人；

我缺乏安全感，总觉得自己对自己好才最安全；

难过的时候喜欢一个人，那是对自己最真诚的时候；


朋友都说我是外星人，不知道用什么构造造成我的忍耐力及毅力。我想，那是现实的残酷给予我的锻炼吧，要跌过才知道懂得爬起来是多么的可贵。

无论如何，最重要的是自己了解自己，了解自己的想法与需要，思维才会比较清晰。

其他的人，有心就自然会懂。

再次强调，我不难懂，也不麻烦。

When I look back into 2009 Part II

2009 was a challenging year; I left home for 8 months for the first time in my life. It meant seeing my buddies once a year, it meant reduced outing time with them, and it meant that we were really apart now, geographically.

Not seeing them every month like how I used to for the past MANY years was a torture to me. Life was so dull without pasar malam night with MK, Kim Gary with the hubbies, and also K-day with Susie& Lian, but I think this is something I’ve to cope with for 4 years. I should have expected the circumstances since the day I decided to study abroad. But I have so much faith in our friendships, I believe in our efforts to maintain the friendship.

A lot had happened in 2009, some friends fell sick, some faced dilemma in love, some struggled with their studies, and I, witnessed every incident that took place. My words wouldn’t do the magic on them, so I ran with them, hoping that they could find comfort from my support.

Some say ‘you’ll never learn to appreciate things until you lose them’. I say, I don’t have to lose things to grow my appreciation towards people who mean a lot to me. They’re the pearls in my heart; they remind me where my home is.

The life cycle requires everyone to grow up and make a decision which determines their future. Some friendships may be distorted and ruined halfway, but those which survived will eventually blossom and be guaranteed a place in the ‘friends for life’ list. In 2009, I learnt that in some cases it’s not entirely my problem when a friendship fails to maintain, but it’s reality that changes a person’s personality, and that’s when a friendship begins to crack when 2 souls can no longer compromise with each other.

No life is perfect, even when it comes to friends. I’m glad that I’ve found out the rotten tomatoes,because they remind me to treasure my pearls.



I made some changes in my dietary plan last year. To my surprise, I managed to pull it off quite well. Hopefully I’ll go on with the determination and invent more recipes this term, so that I can cook a proper dinner for my family when I go back. Ganbatte ne

A lot of times I feel like advising some of my friends who have certain unhealthy habits because it’s a torture to me to see them overloading themselves with tones of sugars, oils, and meats which are ‘healthy’ and ‘satisfying’ choices to them. But I know, it’s difficult to change a person, you know my style, I don’t talk about it anymore when I realize that person doesn’t give a shit on what I say. The true value of food scientist and nutritionist is to give verbal advises to those in need and are willing to make a change. If I did my part, then it’s your choice to take it or leave it.

I can feel that I’m walking towards my future career and doing what a food scientist should do in her life- to be responsible of her own health before convincing the others.

When I look back into 2009 Part 1

I turned 20 in October of 2009. I think it was a significant milestone to me, because it wasn’t merely just a change in figure, but more about realization and mental change. When I look back on what I have done in these few years, I couldn’t help but to be amazed on how far I’ve walked. I’m not longer the one I was earlier, who would stand and wait for miracles, I believe in doing what I can and see how far I can go. And I did, accomplished things that I’ve never thought of doing, like conquering Acrophobia, seeing cherry blossom for the first time, and celebrating CNY outside. There’s so much more that happened and made my life exuberant and busy.

2009-a year of growing up and to be more matured, I’m grateful with the chosen path.
2010- Continue walking towards my goals, be rational, forgive and let go, stay happy and healthy.

Nothing is going to stop me until I reach my goals.



2009 was a holiyear for me. I travelled quite often last year and set foot on 5 countries (Canada, Malaysia,Thailand, Singapore, United States) in a year, I feel that I’ll never get tired in exploring new places and new faces. All trips were equally distributed among family, friends, and also myself, and it’s always a joy to go on a vacation with them because that’s when all the fun begin.

I enjoy travelling as much as I enjoy music, because seeing things with my own eyes are totally different from the spectacular views seen in pictures. Despite of how amazed I feel at those pictures, it’s still my feelings drive me to my thoughts and memories.

Everytime when I visit a new place, I’ll tell myself :

“Congratulations, you did it again.”

I think this is a form of liberation from all the stress and difficulties, and also an encouragement to myself to be courageous for the following challenges.
More more trips in 2010? Let’s see.


Dad turned 60 in September, a week after I left home. We all had a pre-birthday lunch with the relatives few weeks before his birthday, so that I was there for his birthday. I could never forget that day, because I’ve never missed my parents’ birthday celebration since I was born, including the year of 2008 when mom and dad came to Vancouver to visit me.

The day will still come regardless of how reluctant we are to face the reality, aging is a part of the life cycle. As much as I hope that dad and mom will always be by my side and pamper me like a little baby, there’ll definitely be one day when I have to pick up the responsibility and switch role with them.

Dad, I’m always proud of you, and will always be. I think, my biggest guilt for you is that I can’t help you out in your business, and continue to let it glow like how you started the spark.



After mentally preparing myself for 8 months, I met up with him finally.The way we communicated with each other was the same as last time, still the casual talk and lame jokes.Fortunately, nothing really changes even after so many incidents, and we're still able to remain our friendship. I really appreciate him as the one, as a good friend, and also as a sweet guy in the gang. Perhaps I still value his happiness a lot, that’s why I chose to give him the best blessing that I could offer.

Deep down my heart,I want to thank him because a lot of my gains in Vancouver derived from him. If I did not make the choice at that time, I will not receive and learn as much as I do now. Although sometimes when I look back, I'll think

'What if I took the first step at that very moment?' or
'What if he told me earlier, will things change?'

No. There's no if, there's no looking back. There's no us anymore.

He makes me realize that I can go on alone when I’m determined. I still remember that
I cried on the plane when I first left home, because it was a difficult choice for me.It meant a new start with no foundation at all, I had to push myself forward to live independently in a whole new world.But I carried on with him as my pillar strength and motivation,and made my life as busy as possible. There's nothing for me to forget, because memories are memories, once they are stored, they'll remain. What I needed to do was to learn a way of living a happier life, until I could become everyone's B again.

All tears sprinkled into smiles after 1.5 years, when I did my best to live life happily, when I can fully understand that love is not just about possession but a blessing. There’s no right or wrong, just that I’m not the one, and will never be. But I’m still happy for the fact that he appeared in my life, maybe the reason for his appearance is to tell me that some relationships remain best as friendships, just like me and him.

2009- Time to let go.
2010- Time to love myself more.

-To be continued-

Beard Papa's

It feels so great when you have been looking for a thing for so long with so much effort,

and then it appears in front of you one day effortlessly.

Yeap, that’s Beard Papa’s, I finally found the Beard Papa’s store here. The other day when I was walking at Downtown, I was so excited when I saw one, but unfortunately it was under renovation.

Perhaps some things are not meant to be and can’t be forced, it’ll come when the right time kicks in, if not just let go the rest.

=) Maybe my fate with Beard Papa’s is the same too.

Mango and Green Tea cream puff light up my day again.

When a dream is not only a dream.

I had a dream this afternoon, it was one of those rare dreams that I could remember about the details after waking up. The dream was incomplete because I woke up at the last part, I couldn’t see the words written in the dream, but the dream was a continuation of a story of mine. My actions in the dream were something that I’ve considered doing them in real.

Maybe the dream was a reminder, telling me that what I did in the dream was what I should do in real life. In the dream, I was very rational and put an end to the story and ended it in a clear way. Most importantly, I’ve made the most suitable decision in which I think it’s the best way to keep things neutral, without betraying my conscience and feeling guilty, all in the dream. And it’ll all happen in real life if I did the same as I did in the dream.

The dream was really educational, although I’m not sure how many of you have experienced this before, I think I've found the right answer in the dream.

2010- no struggles, no guilt, go for my what my brain says, because conscience still matters a lot to me.