My endless passion

I had my last lecture of the term on Wednesday, carrying a mixed feeling to class for all the things that had happened in 4 years, as that would be my last time sitting in a lecture hall if I did not pursue Master's degree in future. I spent a month revisiting building by building and taking my leisure time in different buildings for the past month, just to get the last few moments of a student's life again. I reassured myself that university life did make me feel good after all despite the stress and heavy workload, and it was indeed a place where I learned to be a better person, both personality and academic wise, from all the opportunities I was exposed to.

I never enjoy the feeling of ending something, but I'm getting better and better at getting rid of the emotional side of me by thinking and acting positively. Positive energy is the only thing that carries me on after all. Furthermore, a good bye could also mean a new hello to my new chapter of life, right? I shouldn't be so sad over those things that have made me the person I am today, because they provided me a clearer vision on my life goals.

I just want to say, thank you UBC, for all the good old times.

So what's up after graduation?

Not sure if you guys have sensed it already, but I've a growing passion in composing music and I wish to expand on that. One thing that makes me so proud is that I do not need a music sheet to play a song nowadays, and I can fully utilize my creativity in playing a song freely. I'm also learning on beats mixing to make my own composition more vibrant, but it's still too early to talk about that since I've not fully mastered the skills yet. That requires a lot of brainstorming and practice of course, as I'm never a spontaneous player and I really want to perfect my work as much as possible. However, reaching this stage itself is a tremendous growth to me, as I still remember how much I struggled at the beginning and could spend the whole day just to come up with a few lines. I believe that was not a stage many could persevere without enough passion to die for. Honestly, choosing a passion that you can die for is the most important thing because that makes you feel like the uttermost unique person on earth even when no one approves your work, it still comes within the voice of your heart!

Friends asked me to actually send out demo to music labels as a breakthrough in starting up my music career as a composer. Not that I don't want to, but I think there's still a huge area of improvement for me to work on before getting to that stage. I think I'm not up to the level yet, and I will definitely try when I think I'm ready.

Also, a friend has pondered a question on me for numerous times. He said: don't you feel lonely? His definition of lonely is having no one to share your happiness in life and someone to love. But that's just not how I define loneliness, to me, being lonely is not knowing what you want in life and losing the self esteem in you slowly. Loneliness only occurs when you do not love your life enough to have made it a better one by yourself and the people around you.I've so much plans in mind that I'd love to spend my whole life venturing into, so why should I feel lonely? Studies and music haven taken up most of my time, thus I really have no time remained to culture any sense of loneliness in me. To me, everyday is a day that's worth to be remembered and loved, and supportive family and friends always give me so much love and support that are beyond my needs, so much that I don't see the reason to mourn over something that I've no control in life. You guys have never stopped believing in my ability, and that really gives me endless motivation to keep trying for what I want. I genuinely feel loved everyday, isn't that the most important thing already?

Can you feel my love for you guys?

梦想

梦想是很抽象的东西，有些人不努力实现它，只因为害怕面对现实与梦想之间的差距。当梦寐以求的机会真正来临时，自己却开始怀疑起自身的能力而停滞不前。有些人一辈子只为了一个梦想而活，在他们的世界里，没梦想就好像是在过着没意义的人生。也有些人，梦想里夹杂了很多外在因素，梦想对他们来说，是很复杂的东西，也并不是单靠个人意愿就能实践的想法。我跟欣就是属于这一类型的人。对我们来说，梦想，不仅仅是梦想而已。

我并不是输不起的人，也并没有雄心大志。这并不是因为我害怕输的感觉，而是经历过数次失去与输的感觉之后，我开始感觉到它的渺小与变幻无测的结果， 这些都不是我能操纵的范围。输赢并不可怕，可怕的是输掉自己与失败后的一蹶不振，但只要经历过那个阶段，就会重生，也会对世界多了另外一种看法。我的人生的成功不再与‘大志’与‘输赢’挂钩，而是偏向于丰富心灵的收获与简单朴实的幸福感为主。我能够扮演好的角色，就是深思熟虑每一步，再从梦想与身边珍贵的人与事物取个平衡点，以尽量不伤害别人为前提来实践我的梦想。梦想对我来说，并不一定是站在顶端享受着胜利滋味的瞬间；梦想对我来说，只是单纯地为了完成自己喜欢的事情而存在的使命。很多人都觉得拥有远大的包袱才是真正拥有梦想的人，但凡事都必须拥有大小两面才能够得到平衡，大志也只能在小志的扶持与衬托下才能发挥它最大的作用，这是人生的定律，缺一不可。很多事情都是始于一小步，再逐渐迈向一大步才会发生的，如果没有当初的一小步，那之后的一大步也会相对消失。

我只是觉得，很多梦想都是自身对未来的预测，也是能够随时间与耐性所完成的使命。喜欢让梦想保留于梦想的人，应该就是缺少了耐心与最精髓的冒险感，在面对未知的恐惧时，突然感觉到自己的渺小而觉得梦想不是能够被实现的事情。与其对大家说所有梦想都能够被实现这类的谎言，我觉得能够吸取当中的希望与精神再为自己喜欢的事情而努力，这也是一种对梦想所付出的努力。梦想并不一定需要对全世界的人做出无比非凡的影响力，它也可以专属于一个人的人生，承载着他一生奋斗的故事。梦想，很多时候，都不是件很遥远的事情，是大家无意间把它扩大，延伸到它貌似遥不可及的地步。

其实，梦想，一直都在你的身边。

When a dream is not only a dream.

I had a dream this afternoon, it was one of those rare dreams that I could remember about the details after waking up. The dream was incomplete because I woke up at the last part, I couldn’t see the words written in the dream, but the dream was a continuation of a story of mine. My actions in the dream were something that I’ve considered doing them in real.

Maybe the dream was a reminder, telling me that what I did in the dream was what I should do in real life. In the dream, I was very rational and put an end to the story and ended it in a clear way. Most importantly, I’ve made the most suitable decision in which I think it’s the best way to keep things neutral, without betraying my conscience and feeling guilty, all in the dream. And it’ll all happen in real life if I did the same as I did in the dream.

The dream was really educational, although I’m not sure how many of you have experienced this before, I think I've found the right answer in the dream.

2010- no struggles, no guilt, go for my what my brain says, because conscience still matters a lot to me.

I have a dream!

We never realize the importance of those things that we concern the most until we approach them and learn to make every bit of our effort to achieve it.The passion slowly grows in our heart, that it eventually stands up in the center of our circle of life.We wish to become the perfectionist of ourself,perhaps not among the cream of the crops from outsiders' views, just the best for our own soul.We wish to dwell in the ideal life like how it is imagined,we need a commitment from ourself,that will bring us there someday.This is the ever-growing passion I mean, the passion that will never come to an end, it will only stretch our self-limit,enhance our true talents.Because deep down inside, we know we're not going to chase them out of our world.These things are always there,and forever will be.

Remember those days when we were babies, we expressed ourselves through babbling and crawling.Reaching to the unreachable places was what we always thought of at that time, as if it was the biggest aim in our everyday lives.Until the day we learned to talk, we always wished to learn at a faster pace, to outstand the rest, we wanted to be the best among our friends.As we had reached the adolescent stage, we tend to have big dreams and were ambitious on our future. Coming to the age of 19,another step into the door of 20, we are mentally developed until it comes to a stage, that makes us feel: I just want to do the best on what I'm holding now, not what I'm carrying on the future. I'm uncertain on how many of you will agree with this.However, we never forget the one big dream in our heart, that we desire so much but knowing how far are we going to be from it, from the day we surrender to the reality. We switch off the power mode of our dreams because we do not want to remind ourselves on how much do we want it to come true in our life. Most people might think it this way, but I don't feel it that way to some extend.

Our current possession and effort might not match with the true dreams in our heart, but this one big dream is the only passion that will never disappear, it only grows immensely in our heart, together with our effort as well. We might success in some other fields one day, but this dream will remain as the same at the same time. It brings back reminiscence, it leaves us no regrets,not solely because of the thought of " a dream is just a dream, a dream will never come true".It is because that we transform the wants into a motivation , we put in as much effort that we will work on our dreams into the current things that we uphold. We want them to be as successful as our dreams. Say your dreams out loud, to foresee the courage you will gain to overcome the fear on things which you are working on,to believe that dreams and reality are both mutual to each other.

" leave no regrets on your dream, because you know it always stays"

Your future always stays as well.

=)Pui Mun says: My one big dream is to become a musician, to live in a world of orchestra and piano.
I hope the passion for piano works equally well on inventing new food flavors.