Best 11 moments in 2011

Decided to let pictures do the talking this year, since this is my first baby year in photography.

Come take a look at my timeline if you guys don't mind.
11.My first Valentines pineapple tarts.

10.Farewell with my best photographer and housemate, Eugenia.

9. Had my first trip with friends in Vancouver. I think, this is something that I've to get used to in future.

8. Completed my first musical project and felt proud of the musical side of me for the first time.

7. Celebrated my 22nd birthday and received one of the most creative birthday gifts in my life.

6. Penang trip with the BFFs. Thank you for making me in believing that, forever is not just a word, it is possible and works on us.

5. Visited my best friend in New Zealand after 4 years and that was one of my most inspiring trips.

4. Photo of us with dad after years. Dad looked genuinely happy in this picture, and this has added priceless meaning to the picture.

3. Climbed up Seoul tower with BFFs in rain, which spiked up our Oppa heat.

2. Traveled to Taiwan with my family after a long long time. Family time is always precious, thus I enjoy every moment, every second of it as much as possible.

1. Witnessing my best friend on earth getting married.

2011 is definitely a year to be remembered, as everyone in it has made it a better year relatively to 2010. I don't need a better year in 2012, so long that it is as good as 2011. You will always be in my heart, and I will move on with you, 2011.

Oh good December!

December is all about finals and holidays to me. I’ve dealt with my second last term 2 weeks ago with the end of my finals, and that also marks the start of my winter break simultaneously.

This year, I decided to stay put and celebrate the festive season with my fellow Vancouver friends since I had been busy travelling during winter for the past few years. I'm happy with my choice because every little thing that we’ve done in these 2 weeks makes me feel blessed with their presence.

So… this winter break is mainly about baking and cooking to me! Did massive cooking and some simple baking with my friend for our long-awaited ski trip.

First baking session of the term! The oven in my house is not functioning unfortunately, if not I could have foreseen more baking sessions in future. We baked banana and carrot cake as well as the regular brownies, in which both recipes were new to me.

And then there was sushi session! It was my first time making so many Sushis (approximately 50) myself besides my first attempt on making Unagi nigiri. I’ve to say, motivation was really the only pillar strength that kept me going for the whole 3 hours of making sushi alone. I love preparing food for people that I love because I love seeing their blissful faces out of the homemade meal, but I guess my cooking skills are not up to that level yet to witness that blissful moment, so more time for cooking in future is necessary.

Honestly, the effort and dedication I had put in for the trip was unbelievable. It all started from grocery shopping to baking and cooking, and lastly packing up, and it took me approximately 3-4 full days to get these things done.I think the time spent in food preparation was actually longer than the actual duration of the trip, which made me feel a little exhausted during the trip.

However, the compliments I've received from BFFs make me feel encouraged, especially when I was barely a good cook 4 years ago until I can cook decent meals and soup nowadays. The journey is not easy undeniably, and I just hope that my effort will be appreciated someday =). Thank you BFFs, your encouragement is definitely the precious light out of the dark.

Third massive cooking session was done with my lovely friends. We had homemade dinner together on Christmas and it was really lovely. As much as I enjoy celebrating Christmas commercially and doing it the outgoing way, spending Christmas in someone else’s house gave me a new definition of Christmas. Christmas celebration can be simple, lovely, warm despite there’s no Christmas presents involved.

I’m just happy that I’m an easily-contented person to have found this feeling awesome.

2011 is coming to an end although I can’t believe how time has sky rocketeered throughout the year. Hmmm, time for some self-reflection and wrap ups ehh, stay tuned!

I miss Taiwan!

I went to Taiwan 4 months ago and that was my 4th/5th visit to Taiwan. Seriously, Taiwan is my second most-visited country after Canada, so it really feels like my second home in Asia. Generally, I've very good impression about Taiwan based on all the Taiwanese friends I've made across the globe as well as the hospitality I've received every single time I go to Taiwan. I've to say, they're really an awesome bunch of people!

Gah, I'm just being struck by slight dose of Taiwan sick because my friend just went back to Taiwan for vacation. I shall blog about all of my summer trips in detail to wrap up this year.

Taiwan I miss you, please wait for my next visit!

The most epic dance in my life.

As I told you guys earlier, I danced for my sister wedding entrance. Seriously, dancing was never my thing and I was so freaked out when I got the invitation from my sister. She wasn't pushy on this, but being her only younger sister, I'd love to contribute as much as possible in turning her wedding into a memorable and special one. At the same time, I was worried for my frog-like dancing skills which made me feel so interior of this whole performance. So I was really struggling before I could come out with the final decision- to go all out for my sister for once. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thingy for her, so there was no reason for me to turn it down!

Anyway, we were supposed to follow the Glee dance below.



After watching the video, my only O.S in heart was that: 'I'll be fine as long as I'm not the first girl' because her part seemed to be most challenging to me, with the sweet yet elegant expressions and smooth movements. I was also very worried of the moving shoulder part because I just couldn't imagine myself doing it naturally!But life has always got a way to twist around you ehh, and somehow I was put in front to pair up with the groom's brother, Dwayne.

YADAAAAA.... how am I going to pull this off? In front of 700 people? WAEEEEE......DOUSHITEEEEEE.....DIMGAI.....

Aih, but what's decided is decided, I could only work harder in overcoming my weaknesses to not embarrass myself in front of 700 people.I was so nervous to a point where I started practicing in front of the mirror before the rehearsal to catch up with Dwayne. We were so awkward on our first rehearsal since we were both too shy to dance according to the video, with the other 10 pairs of eyes looking at our dance right on the spot. I felt so pressured!!!

Fortunately, I really had a good partner to guide me and correct my movements as much as possible. Despite of the difficulty in matching up with each other's timing, so much fun were shared through sweat and good food. I enjoyed my time with everyone in the dance crew who were all the J couple's old friends. I admire the friendship bond in them because they have been knowing each other since high school and are still willing to find time to come out with special event like this despite of their busy life schedule, exclusively for their old friends. It was truly a wedding which had friends and marrying couples actively engaging with each other in every joyous way possible. They also gave me so much support and advices to help me in improving my performance, which was very much appreciated.

Despite the exhaustion, I had to say, I had one of the best times in my life doing something out of the box like this.

Despite the bad dancing, I had to say, I did my best to make every effort and blessing count.

I just want to thank everyone who made this happen wonderfully, especially my partner, Dwayne! It must have been uneasy for you to carry me for so many times just to perfect the dance.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN! Being accomplished is truly an awesome feeling.

A beautiful mess

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures

We'll fly like birds, not of this earth

And times they turn, and hearts disfigure

But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts

But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

Jason Mraz's lyrics warm my heart in the midst of continuous self-battle.=)

Good fall

Autumn has slipped away silently.

I spent the last few days of autumn by visiting a special cafe and immersing myself into the beauty of coffee art. I also had in-depth conversations with people whom I feel comfortable talking to while taking the last opportunity to capture the last few moments of falling leaves.Hmm, talk is cheap but it's very soul-calming.

I'm starting to get used to the feeling of sending something away optimistically, because every good bye also marks a new hello at the same time. It was a good fall to me, with the usual calm yet a little surprises. Therefore, I'm wishing for a good winter as well, a good December to end my epic year.

See you again next year, Mr.Autumn!

我值得真正的快乐

Wednesday was a good day, I did the one last thing for my past and that soothed my feeling a lot. I knew it was the right thing to do because that's a number that I'll no longer call to, and that's a number that will never appear on the phone screen anymore.

It has been 2 years, without me realizing how times flies with the series of ups and downs in these 2 years. Paulo's quote 'Make peace with your past so that it won't destroy your present' truly rang the bell in me and gave me the ultimate push to do what I should have done much earlier.

Thank you Paulo, thank you my friends, and a big thanks to myself for never giving up every depressing moment which makes me a grateful person in love. I'm glad that everything makes me a better person for the worthy person. I think I've found one, and the rest is all about our progression for deeper understanding. I leave the challenge to time in clearing up my doubt and proving to me that everything is worth the wait.

Confession done。我觉得我值得真正的快乐 =）

Thank God for the gift =）

Life’s good recently despite of the insane workload, I feel like good things are coming my way surprisingly. Thank God, I’m really grateful for the one opportunity that I’ve asked for. Then I start thinking about the 'just nice' theory Val told me earlier, and how it fits into my situation now. As much as everyone hopes that this time will work out for me, I shall not put in extremely high hope to avoid the possible disappointment in the end. I appreciate the good start, but at the same time, I'm doing my best to stay sincere just to bring out the true side of me.For now, I'm just glad with our progression, it's just the way I like to handle things-taking a baby step at a time.

3 more weeks and there comes my break. I hope everything goes well till then.

Go natural!

My friend just commented on my before-and-after make up look, saying that I look very different on both sides.

She went on saying:' I thought it was a good thing because what's the point of making up without looking different or being much more pretty after that?'

I didn't take it as a humiliation although it upset me a little, it was more of a trying-to-prove-myself moment as I started browsing through my pictures to compare them myself. I really agree with her because drawing eyeliner and wearing colour contact lens do make a significant difference on my eyes; they glow up and beautify them. However, being a typical librain, I always seek for a balance between bare and cake face as I do not really want to mask myself with a completely different look after all the beautifying effects make up tools provide. It's ok to have a difference, but I just want to make sure that people could still recognize my true self behind all the gimmicks. To make that happen, I pay a lot of attention to my diet and skincare to ensure my skin looks clean,smooth, and radiant all the time, with or without make up. After all, inner beauty is still what I'm focusing on because I believe in the saying 'inner beauty will bring out outer beauty'.

I don't really mind showing bare face in front of the public. Indeed, I usually go to school with bare face because I'm just too lazy to include make up as part of my daily routine especially when I have 8a.m class! I just want to look more pretty on certain occasions because bare face makes me feel lacking, that is when I'll go for the make up. So yeah, this post is really for those who haven't seen my bare face before, and I thought, why not?

Yeap, it's always go natural most of the time and go pretty on the right occasion for me!

最后的21岁-自我认识篇

21岁，很多人都把它当成是从少年变成大人的转捩点，但有多少人真的领悟它的真谛，慢慢从思想中找到自我，找到那份属于自己的成熟呢？

我不晓得，我只知道，年纪的确让我有了身为大人的觉悟，一年比一年看透更多事情，一年比一年更收敛，这也许就是属于我的成熟吧！成熟，对现阶段的我来说，是懂得帮助与体谅别人的心情之余，也不忽略自己；是善用自己的智慧在值得投资的事情上，不让诱惑埋没了自己的能力；是充分地了解‘小不忍则乱大某’的重要性，再加以应用在日常生活中；是当全世界都质疑你的时候，你只需用行动来证明自己，让它代替语言上的反驳。

成熟，是在考虑任何事情前都加入100分的自己，还有100分我爱的人才能达到的品行。

这一年里，我让自己尝试了很多新的事物，并从中吸取宝贵的知识与教训。我觉得世界之大，我们的知识还真的显得很微不足道，所以更要不断地从各种管道来学习。无论是小知识或大智慧，都能让我对这世界的新奇度有所惊叹。

21岁，我第一次用自己的能力去买了一些自己喜欢的东西。从mp3，手机一直到电子琴，我真的觉得自己成就感满满，因为那都是靠自己一点一滴的努力与耐心去赚取的梦想。当中以买电子琴最让我高兴，因为那是我在这4年内超想做的事情，只是一直忍耐到今时今日才说服自己去买一部属于自己的梦想，就像可欣说的：‘Yay，你终于把梦想给买回家了！’。对啊，我离兴趣又靠近了一步！用自己的能力买东西真的很有成就感，也多了一份肯定自己的自信，就像程又青的熟女条规一样：‘我要用我自己的钱，买我自己的包包，装我自己的故事’。我也要用我自己的钱，创造属于我自己的故事。

21岁的我，在个性上也出现了一些变化。去年患上厌食症让我深有感触，也因为知道是自己情绪管理不佳进而导致精神与压力不佳，所以开始觉得很多事情还不如自己的健康重要。对于大部分的事情，我都选择了以最能舒缓自己压力的方式来解决它。我也非常注意自己的情绪管理，尽可能不引起过度的悲伤或愤怒，情绪尽量不受别人操控就好。至于对在乎的人，我选择了更直接与中肯的相处方式，把自己真实的想法都传达给他们，让他们明白我对他们的用心。对不在乎的人，我也毫不犹豫地选择了删除的方式还对方自由。这也许听起来很狠，但那绝对是我最后的温柔，至少在足够理由发飙的情况下保持冷静让我觉得我很有风度。因为无奈，也不想再让自己有所伤害，所以选择了放开，希望他们能够找到更懂得与他们相处的人。强人所难本来就不是我的个性，而我也不想再亏待自己过不值得我过的生活。

开心，本来就是一种选择，是一种接受，所以我打开那扇大门，正式欢迎它进入我的生活。

21岁，我觉得我活得够精彩，够自在，也够愉快。

心情不好，请容许我做喜欢的事情发泄一下

今天心情烂透了，不过没关系，我相信我自恋一点，多听点歌，睡个好觉就会没事的。 嗯，就这样决定了，希望大家周末过得愉快！

最后的21岁-感情篇

感觉上每一次在生日后写一篇日记已经变成了一种习惯，也许是喜欢总结自己在过去一年的成长，也许是为自己眼神所绽放的坚定而感到自豪，更多的是一种‘我还健健康康地活着’的感恩。 我发现我往往都把自己的感情世界放在文章的最后，也许是一种在乎？还是一种习惯？所以今年我决定打破自己的框框，从自己的感情生活开始写起。

21岁，感情风浪澎湃，遇到4位好好先生，也被好好地对待过，好得让我却步，好得让我相信，原来真的有人会珍惜我的好。只是很可惜我没能让任何一位好好先生搬进自己的心里，也没能好好地回报每一位对我的喜欢。虽然常被很多人问起：‘怎么还没有男朋友呢？以你的条件应该不难找啊’， 又或是更进一步地跳到婚姻的话题，直接催婚了起来。对于这样的问题，其实我已经见怪不怪了，甚至可说是百毒不侵，因为的确是我自己的心不在焉，才会搞成现在的局面。或许是，我已经很明确地确定，感情与条件是非常distinct的两件事，无法相提并论。感情是情绪，条件是理性，一般感觉满满的人很难会做出理性的条件评估；一样地，条件至上的人也无法光靠感觉就能够一直走下去。只要两者都在‘可以接受‘，’还不错‘的范围里面，很多人就会选择一头栽进去了。

我也听过很多人的劝告，尝试跟其他男生约会过再做决定，尽量让自己在感情里放松起来。可是面对感情这么千变万化的事情，我还是不得不投降，因为我真的没办法为自己的喜欢找到一个出口。但是这些都是在努力试过了之后才下的定论，所以我也不觉得有任何值得遗憾的地方。

但我想说，拒绝别人的好，还真的是一件非常难的事情。但，拒绝，总比得过且过来的好，也没那么自私，所以我还是当了那么的一个坏人。

庆幸的是，他们都在离开我之后踏上了各自的路途，也找到了他们自己的公主。看见他们的幸福，让我心里的愧疚感减少了许多，因为他们活得比以前更快乐。毕竟我自己衰就好，总不希望看到别人跟我一样衰，我也希望能够感染他们的快乐呢！所以这一年里，我对感情的看法从悲伤，空洞，再蜕变成为一种喜悦与释怀吧！我常为这种心情上的转变感到自豪，因为对我来说，那是放了自己的真实感，放了自己才能够专心地走接下来的路，接受接下来的美好。

这一年里，我也把自己之前的感情做了一个了结，彻彻底底地把它封到自己的回忆箱子里。这是我第一次正视问题的根源吧，但面对问题教我学会了勇敢，而这份勇敢也为我找到了一个答案，让我更确定我自己所做的选择。因为喜欢过，开心过，努力过，心碎过，流泪过，崩溃过，才再重新来过，这一步步的成长都让我多了一个微笑的理由，所以我始终觉得这些过程对自我成长是好的。虽然这些阶段很令人难受，但它们都让我认识真正的自己与认清事实的真相。毕竟我最难过的并不是两个人没在一起，而是真心从一开始就没被相信过，也因为这样，我坚决地相信摆在我眼前的这个事实。我的死心很倔强，能让我死的了心的决定就代表它已经没有挽回的余地了，所以这一次我可是下了天大的决心要越过这一个坎。他始终不是那个在平行时空里的柯景腾，所以沈佳宜也决定要离开过去，就像书里面说的一样，‘我與他之間的愛情 總算有個不圓滿 卻很踏實的句點’，我们，正是现实生活中的结局。曾经喜欢的两个人，也不一定就适合在一起呐，我算是明白了这种道理。不过我也听说过另一种说法，就是两个人的分开可能会造就四个人的幸福，我很喜欢这种说法，因为它让我觉得黑暗的结束也许是光明的开始。再说事情都已经隔一段落啦，所以我觉得答案也显得不重要了，重要的是，我又微笑着活过来了。

现在的我，最大的挑战就是一个好的时机吧。最近在机缘下遇到了一位好的对象，也隔了很久才再拥有想好好努力的想法。虽然对彼此了解没很深，但总觉得我们有很深的共鸣，拥有很多相同的习惯，是天秤座的关系，还是纯碎的想太多呢？我也不知道，所以我需要的，真的只是一个好的时机去化解这些难题。只是基于这次问题的复杂性，现在并不是发展的最好时机，所以就让时间先让我确定自己的心意吧。

=） 今年生日的其中一个愿望，希望我们都能得到一次努力的机会，只要一次就好。我还真的是第一次许下这么的一个愿望呢，所以希望会成真啦！

Kayak

I’ve a lot to blog about my past summer actually with a series of interesting events occurring in the past few months, but I just didn’t have the ohm to keep up with my scheduled blog posts. Procrastination is always a bad idea and I’m definitely not tolerating it anymore, I realize that I should use my time more wisely. It’s more like a self-reflection before graduation, a wake-up call telling me that time management and fulfilling plans are extremely important in making my life a successful one.

Seriously, I’ve so many things in mind that I don’t know where to start with. So I’m just going to start from the more recent activities and then track back my happenings from time to time.

My friends and I took advantage of the sun and we went kayaking under the sunny weather last month. Kayaking is nothing new to me but somehow I always do this in a foreign country, be it my first time in Gold Coast 10 years ago and the second in Vancouver. I find kayaking very interesting and it’s an activity that would be much more fun to do with a good friend. That’s probably due to the fact that partners who can match with each other’s pace well and move concurrently can halve the exhaustion and frustration of this activity efficiently. Thus, I highly recommend this activity with a good friend or take on another option of 1-person kayak.

And yup, please welcome my crazy buddy Isis’s nails and legs!

It’s also a very good time to do some serious chatting while kayaking because that’s one of the few things you could do in the middle of the lake, apart from being immersed into the natural surroundings.So, just talk!!

That was indeed a very good day of mine in August, with friends and nature, what more can I ask for?

爱笑的傻瓜

很多人都不解我天生爱笑的本性，常会问我说： 你到底在笑什么？ 有什么好笑的事吗？

想起来，我还真的是常常都在笑，可以是在吃饭的半途，可以是在阅读的时候，也可以是在某个很突然的瞬间不期然地笑起来。很多时候，我都是在傻笑，因为我的脑里就好像装满了无限个大笑脸，充当着我笑容的补充器，所以微笑也不会有干枯的一天。也因为这一种态度，让我在别人面前哭不起来，只会本能的笑一笑，然后把烦恼都像折衣服般规律地收起来。真的，看过我哭的人应该觉得很骄傲才对，因为那绝对是我人生中异常珍贵的画面。

曾经有好几个人跟我说过，说他们想看看我发飙的样子，会不会是个微笑着骂人的傻瓜。也有人说，就是我这种人发起脾气来才最恐怖，十足百年才爆发的火山那么有杀伤力。说真的，我也不知道我发飙起来的样子会怎样，虽然会有生气的时候，可就算遇到再衰的事情，再贱的人，我就是提不起劲去骂人。虽然有时候还真的很想看看自己发飙的程度，可我就是那种很难被惹气的类型，真的生气起来就会对那事/人绝望的人，所以心中的那团火也不会待很久。这样对身体也好一点嘛，有效地扑火才能够看见值得自己高兴的事情啊！也许，那时我面对人生，面对世界仅有的态度，笑一笑，再继续努力就好。

话说什么时候，大家可以帮个忙，帮我把火气兼泪都挤出来，让我看看是怎么样的感觉嘛！我也蛮想知道在别人面前大骂个1分钟或是倒头大哭会是什么样的新奇感觉呢！

Very interesting song

教友战友老友女友说过笑话说再见

喊了痛了醉了说了再见让往事如烟

来瞻仰乐观的脸 回忆里蔓延

欢送会 有我的笑脸

我最爱未到了最美燕尾服也是最美

到这葬礼似去派对拍照代替纪念碑

人间偶遇中嬉戏 留底缺憾美 期望你 还念我童言无忌

活得精彩结尾切勿流眼泪 来让我诗歌班里照然沉睡这是自然程序

开心的派对散后无法聚 我于烛光里 祝福一句句都心满意足

若一天你活的很累 纪念我过去 为人如此风趣

笑我赞我怪我爱我要答谢世上每个

跳过跌过试过错过更唱没岁月如歌

浮光里活出真我 人不算白过

原谅我遗下你提前离座

活得精彩结尾切勿流眼泪 来让我诗歌班里照然沉睡这是自然程序

开心的派对散后无法聚 我于烛光里 祝福一句句都心满意足

若一天你活的很累 纪念我过去 为人如此风趣 风趣

（活得精彩结尾切勿流眼泪 来让我诗歌班里照然沉睡）

这是自然程序开心的派对散后无法聚

放我于心里 新的工作一追再去追

未开出最后的花蕊 你别要气馁 何妨留恋一岁 多一岁 一岁

That's the attitude I wish to possess when the world no longer fits me one day.

能够见证你们每个人的幸福，让我觉得很有意义

One of the reasons I enjoyed this summer so much was because of the introductory sessions to all my good friends’ partners. Val, Win, El, and I used to be the foursome in Chinese club during high school and we’ve been strengthening our bonds by going through a lot of things together, both good and bad. Thus, it is a significant moment to me to witness people who mean so much to them, just like how our friendship means to me. Because we know each other’s love stories in all these years so well, we definitely understand the pain of broken promises and unfated love, and that makes everyone’s happiness an important daily prayer to us.

Val and I used to create the lists of our ideal boyfriend while walking back home from school. Although we demand for different qualities from a guy, we never really change the things that we look for all these years. I think God heard her prayer and sent Bernard to her, a person that I believe can complete her. What’s even more rare is that he fulfills all the things she ever looks for, making me believe that he is the right one for her. Seeing them together for 4 years and hearing about their marriage plan make me anticipate even more for the next 4 years to come.

‘Don't let people make you believe you have to settle for "good enough", cuz "just right" does exist :)’

Thank you for all the things that you’ve told me, especially when you share your happiness with me by being a part of it, I really take my heart for all these details.

Even though there’s an issue that we seldom talk about, I truly understand all of your concern about my love life, especially when 3 of you are having a stable relationship but only me. I know, that you guys are trying to make me feel comfortable by cutting these conversations out of the table and sharing me things that would rejoice my feeling. You guys want me to have faith in myself for the right guy ahead, along with all the good things that await me.I feel rather touched by all the kind consideration and support, and it’s been a while since I last talked about love, mainly because I don’t consider 'loveless' as a problem in my life. When I think about all the breakdowns I went through whenever I had a love problem, I begin to believe that staying single is the best choice for me now. I’d rather conquer loneliness than depress, just because I cannot take another shock anymore, both mentally and metabolically, neither can I bare the pain and restructure my life for another time. If being single was my destiny, then I’ve long accepted it already, thus there’s nothing to be worried or sad about.

However, there’s one thing that I need you guys to know, I sincerely value the way we support each other when something goes wrong in our love life, because you guys make me understand an important lesson, that we all find a new life through moving on, and I’ve found evidence from you guys. As much as you guys want me to be happy, I’d pray for the same thing to happen to you guys as well. I'm glad that all of you have found the person that you should treasure and are happier than before, because that's what matters the most, people would only know how to treasure triumph after undergoing pain. No, we ain't talking about the ideal guy lists or any fan girl fantasy anymore, the touchable and sensible serendipity I see from you guys makes me feel blessed and I can ask no more than that. Also, the tremendous changes we all have gone through in 10 these years never fail to amaze me, everyone’s life just gets shuffled for the better.

你们的幸福，在任何时候都对我很重要，所以不要为我而感到心疼，因为能够见证你们每个人的幸福，让我觉得很有意义。

Luckily, I still have these precious smiles with me despite the storms and rains, there’ll never be a day that I’m love-deprived when I have you guys. =) And this, is always my wish for you guys.

Romantic grasses

I told my friend that grasses in this photo looked very romantic visually. Lian then came up with an interesting question:

“What do you mean by romantic grasses?”

Well, the only logical answer that I could think of was probably their wavy figure and soft colour which made me feel so. But don’t you guys think that this plant looks very appealing and it’s usually appearing in those romantic scenes of many love songs’ MVs?

Anyway, I squeezed myself into this bunch of sexy creatures and had a taste of the romantic feeling I’ve long imagined. I’ve always wanted to experience the feeling of being surrounded by a sea of flowers or simply any plants that have calming effect, and I’m glad that my wish was being heard in this trip. I like how every picture reminds me of the little happenings in every trip, that's perhaps the way I value my vacation.

So there goes this photo, please join me and start appreciating these romantic grasses as well. =D

Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

I never really had a chance to thank my tour guide of my New Zealand trip. I can thank her no more for all the successful road trips and special meals of the local delicacies.

Thank you for making everything happen, my dear friend, you have undoubtedly added a lot of spices to my trip. And I just want to say, you're amazing, just the way you are.

Good luck on anything, because you really deserve everything.

谢谢，我

只是习惯了在心灵很脆弱的时候，都会拍拍自己的肩膀，提醒自己努力走过来的路。

然后，感谢着眼下的这双脚，感谢着眼里的这个自己，感谢着还在等待自己的每一个明天。

这些日子里，认认真真地矛盾过，疯狂过，挫败过，然后又重新地振作过，开心过。

挫败并不好玩，但它却让我踏踏实实地学会做一个爱自己的人。

从此，我少了期待，多了踏实，少了憧憬，多了自信。

我也亲眼见证了那个连别人都不了解的自己，还有那份狠起来可以变得非常麻木的心。

即便如此，我还是很想对自己说，没关系，我还是很喜欢这样的自己。

也因为明白了昨天的艰辛与今天的得来不易，我希望我的明天不再活在过去，而是一切重新。

更因为明白了人生不存在重启键，所以每天都重新地祈祷，重新地过活，重新地努力，只盼望能够守住那个不放弃自己的内心，不曾喊累的坚持。

而此刻最想感谢的，正是这样的自己。辛苦你了，但请别忘了往后的坚持与耐心，因为我相信你可以。

Waiting for my day to come.

I'm back to the mapleland after 3.5 months of pure fun and family time at home, and I'm prepared to do what I should do at this period of time, for the one last time until I put on the square hat. I consider next year's graduation as a new milestone for me to embark on a new journey and truly pursue my dream.I've always been doing what I like all the time, but to live a life out of pure passion is the life that I'm really seeking for . I told a few people about my dream, although it seems to be unpractical to many other people, I believe it's not something that's out of reach. Even if it was, I would find out the answer myself instead of allowing other people to let me down by telling me that I can't.

I can, when I really want to, so it's really a matter of determination in my opinion.

Academic performance is my main focus now and I'm surprised by my last year's performance with a 6% increase in my average. That has injected a strong confidence in me and I seek for a better performance this year to mark a good ending of my 18 years of education. Come to think of it, 3 years of uni just passed by in a blink of eye and I can't really recall most of the lecture materials that I've learned in these years. Seriously, I wonder if my total memory for the materials learned would sum up to a 30%? That really sounds like an epic fail considering the enormous effort I had put in every term.

But... I'll still wait for the day of honor and pride to come, when I can finally tell my parents:

'Dad and mom, I've finally reached the finishing line! Thank you for your tremendous support and love.' =) I know that day will come. And I know that my day will come too. Let's all work hard for what we yearn for.

我的宝贝们啊！

我的宝贝们啊，世界上没有比看见你们的笑容更幸福的事。

我的宝贝们啊， 你们还真是一群很会逗人开心的小家伙。

我的宝贝们啊， 有你们的这5年里让我重拾了很多美好的童年回忆。

我的宝贝们啊，你实现了我当大姐姐的心愿。

我的宝贝们啊，你让我好喜欢这个逐渐扩大的家庭，即使我已不再是家里的小宝贝。

我的宝贝们啊，这个夏天因为你们而充满了朝气与活力。

我的宝贝们啊，我不求别的，只希望你们要健康快乐地长大就好。

我的宝贝们啊，我还真舍不得离开你们回到世界的另一端去。

我的宝贝们啊，长大了可别忘记‘小姨姨’这个人物。

我的宝贝们啊，我们明年再见了，好不好？

Back with a stronger heart

Oh my, I finally have the time and mood to properly blog about my entire summer. I can’t believe how much I’ve done in my life while leaving the blog empty simultaneously, and I really mean it when I say ‘much’! Having visited 3 countries in a month, I’ve definitely had a taste of staying in different city every night and breaking my own record of taking the most number of flights in a month, to an extent which I felt the need to take a break from a break. However, I think I’ve also qualified myself as a helpful travel buddy from all the things I’ve learned in this traveling month. Also, it’s definitely the best time to know more about a person through the experience of  traveling together, and I can’t help but to emphasize the importance of finding good travel buddies for a truly good trip. 

This summer has got to be the most fulfilling and fruitful season in these three years, as I’ve brought myself closer to my dream while witnessing the accomplishment of some other peoples’ dreams. For the first time after a long while, I’m actually breathing in the joy of dreams coming true again, which is such a down-to-earth and fulfilling moment.

Being the last summer of my undergraduate years, I’ve given myself sufficient time to consider about my future to set things clear. Having to talk about myself with family and friends makes me feel like a grown up, but keeping them from everything they should know about me is not the way I love them, because they are such an important piece in my life. They complete me more than anyone else.

It's just the right time for confession this summer, and I'm glad that, I'm back with a stronger heart after everything.

Eyelash extension

So, I tried on eyelash extension for the first time in my life. Those people who’ve known me well should know that I’m not an entirely up-to-date person when it comes to girly things because there are just so many new services and things creeping into our daily lives, far more than I can handle! Therefore, I won’t be aware of the new services/treatments available in town for beautification purpose but I’d rather stick to the few areas that I usually keep an eye on to beautify myself, like fashion and make up which are enough to eat up my time.

Gah, I’ve nobody to blame but myself, I’m just lazy!

My sister gave me this coupon for eyelash extension that she bought earlier and I thought I would just give it a try since it’s free. Why not? Ugly also for a while only mah~~~~~~~~

Surprisingly,eyelash extension is absolutely painless because all I had to do was just closing my eyes throughout the process, just so that the beautician could put the eyelash on my eyelash strand by strand. The result was surely effective as I could now feel the burden on my eyes because of the new members. Also, my eyes look dolly all the time, as if I had put on eyeliner because of those black eyelash strands, so I'd say that the effect is quite obvious.

The only flaw is just the maintenance part, since the fake lashes can’t come in contact with water. That means…… I’ve to change my habit in splashing water on my face while I wash it and use cotton pad and wipe off the foam/milk carefully. Ah, that is so annoying! I just hope that my face won’t be like a strawberry after all, I want my taufu face all the time okay!

But...but...but... I can now go to Seoul looking pretty and spending less time to draw eyeliner. Hahaha, just stay tuned for my new batch of photos if you want to take a deeper look on my eyes, comes with nice sceneries summore,see I’m so humble! *joking joking* I shall blog once more before I leave, adios!

A new accomplishment

So, this is the project I've been talking about since last month- the 2NE1 lonely cover contest. I can’t believe how long it has taken me to an extent where I had to abandon most of the regular activities to accomplish this. I think the product is the best I could come out with after working on it for almost a month. I just scooped out a huge part of myself to make this happen, and when I think about it, I still feel very excited in making impossible things possible, despite of the frustration and stress undergone throughout the project.

Speaking about script writing, musical arrangement and directing, everything just seemed to be so new to me and I dare not put myself together with these things last time. In fact, this is my first audio-taped instrumental performance because I've not tried to compose a medley and recorded it before. Since I've never let that thought slip in me, I knew that the task was going to be challenging the moment I decided to give it a try.But still, I gave it all out and did my best to keep up with the faith. I felt so incredible to witness the entire transformation from a truckload of ideas to the formation of the actual product.

Let alone of the result, I’m glad to have started on this project because it boasts up my confidence and triggers some musical inspirations in me. I can sense the musical growth in me and that is really one of my ultimate goals. Although I’m not sure how far we could go in this competition, the new things that I’ve picked up along the way are great enough to make me a winner. The togetherness and self growth is just so significant and makes me feel proud.

Thank you everyone for making this happen, you've brought up another side of me and I really appreciate the opportunity. This is just a start, and I know that there's much more to be discovered in me in terms of music.

Do have good thoughts, because thoughts will turn into things!

I’ve been having runny nose since last week and it seems to be unstoppable. Seriously, the amounts of tissues I’ve created make me feel guilty! I might as well start using handkerchief if the stubborn mucus doesn’t go away by this week.

Credits to PY.

Otherwise, my life is good as it is, with the increasing workload starting from June. I’ve been trying to keep up with 2 outings per week in May so that I can do my job as a part-time babysitter responsibly while having fun with my friends. Also, I’m caught up with the competition for its music arrangement and script writing, to an extent which the thought of striving for a better performance worries me sometimes. I always try to calm myself down by enjoying the entire experience as much as possible, just to ensure that I’ve learnt something new even though the result may not be what I’ve desired.

Gladly, I’ve been receiving a lot of support from my friends, some people are genuinely impressed with my musical ability, while the others are more focused on the mental and physical support. Seriously, I feel very touched for everything, you guys may not know how much all these mean to me, but they really keep me working harder to better myself.

On a side note, I’ve just met up with an old friend today and he complimented on my changes. He said I’m a tough cookie, but to me, he is always on par with me when it comes to toughness. Instead of keeping my head so high up for the compliment, I’d say that gaining strength is a must to everyone to stay in the competition. Thoughts turn into things, and if you want to stop tragedies from happening to you and influence your life continuously, then leave them out of the game and patch up the hole with yourself and other important people and things.

适时取舍，清扫心灵，告别过去，消除忧虑，大步向前

Trust me, it really works!

Life as a multi-tasker

I’m giving all out to music this summer break and devoting a lot of time in composing my own music pieces besides learning about music editing, not only for the sake of competition but also for my own collection. This is not something that I would love to show off ostentatiously because my skills are definitely not matured enough to be proud of, and I’m still in the progress to make this happen. Summer break is the only time where I have full flexibility to unleash my inspiration and put them into words and melody. Therefore, realizing my ideas instead of allowing them flying in my all day long is what my day is really about nowadays!

I’ve actually had a lot of ideas in mind since last time, so it’s just a matter of time and determination to realize my ideas. Everything can be a source of inspiration to me, a tiny sound or touching story etcetera, and I give myself sufficient time to expand on it everyday. Most importantly, I don’t deny about my creativity and the fire in me for music anymore, I unleash them instead.I really want to know how far I could go when I take music seriously.

My recent source of inspiration is G-Dragon’s music.I'm genuinely impressed by his musical creativity and imagination because there are just so many possibilities in his music, to an extent that it gives you a very good picture about the story he is trying to deliver.

OHH I LOVE GD!!!*becoming a fangirl suddenly, blush blush*

Inspirations and hard work are really my valuable assets when it comes to music.

Not only that, I’m also writing script for the first time to prepare for the competition. This is an absolutely new experience to me and I’ve known nothing better than to extract some ideas from tones and tones of music videos, and allow the scenes I’ve created to play in my mind over and over again. Wow, I’ve finally gotten a taste of the frustration of scarce resources throughout this process. I ain’t no perfectionist but having to consider about combined constraints like equipments, time, and results are really killing me sometimes.

Having said that, please please stay tuned for my first music video still, I think it’ll be out in a few weeks time.

Had baking session with mom last week to make up for the lack of CNY cookies I had eaten for the past 3 years. Baking session can be quite painful when it’s done alone, I’ve tried it before and it was extremely exhausting!! However, it’s a totally different story when it comes to baking with a few people since it can turn out to be a fun memory with more people sharing the work.

OOO I haven’t had homemade peanut cookies in years and my mom’s loving act has really melted my heart. She always has a place for me despite of her busy babysitting life, and I truly appreciate that.

I’ve been working out frequently thesedays, and I’m pretty satisfied with the outcome with 2 KGs being lost in 3 weeks. I just have to work hard to shred off another 2 KGs for my ideal weight. Turning my gear on for diet again, and I think this will be my life-time goal.

Of course, how can I miss out these 2 kids when it comes to summer break. Jo Kenn has grown up so much and looks slightly different from the previous pictures.

Babysitting can be quite frustrating at times with the lack of freedom and time. It does enable the thought of giving up on having babies in future to grow in my mind during frustration. And then I’ll come to a self-dilemma and start hating myself for having such a selfish thought. I often think that people who have perfect picture about marriage and children at my age have yet to see the real picture to destroy their ideal thoughts, because I used to think like them too! It’s only until I started getting in touch with children all day long and this experience brings about drastic changes in my thoughts.

Perhaps, I’m not as matured as these people when it comes to handling family issues. I really hope that this is just a phase and I’ll eventually get used to it someday.

Calm down, calm down!! I can do it!

Working hard as always

Took this on the last day of February, Eu and I were too excited about the snow. I really love this photo because it looks very artistic and poetic, like I was longing for something when I was just pretending. It’s sad to note that my very own photographer is leaving Vancouver soon, and that would mean lesser photo shooting sessions since she’s the best when it comes to capturing different sides of me. She’s just the best!!


Came across with this song a few months back and I really like it, it resembles my past in some ways.

I’m glad that I’ve drawn myself to happiness after 1.5 years of effort. It’s not just about individual effort and I can’t thank enough for those who have walked me through the dark, since it wasn’t something that I could take it easily and wipe off instantly. These hands are so precious because they have taught me that it’s okay to have false belief and tumble down, but never inhibit yourself from a brighter future and better life. Physical self is now recovered despite of the scar, but I’m still happy with the rejuvenated life and finally developed the courage to draw a line between things I should and should not associate with.

每一道傷痕都是紀念自己勇敢的印記。
在愛情裡，依然憧憬，繼續夢想，幸福其實離我們很近。

Close chapter officially. I will continue to work hard. =)

Most motivated summer break.

I’ve never felt this organized before during my break, I feel like I’m following a constant schedule I set for myself just so that I spend my time wisely. Everything is progressing smoothly fortunately. Indeed, I’ve never been learning so many things before during break time like this, so much that I actually feel excited about all the new things coming to me. As a late 21 year old, I would love to maximize my time for beneficial things rather than pure luxury in summer.

It’s all about improvement and achievement this time.

Although I’m shuffling my time among family, friends, and myself, I can never get bored of the time when I’m home because there are just so many activities that are attainable to me even at home. I sweat, study, try out new things, have fun and be inspired by all these things continuously. As much as I'm exhausted with the activities, I'm always rejuvenated by the wonderful time with BFFs weekly as a sweet retreat.

Who says we can only waste time at home? You have yet to know about the awesomeness of home.

For the first time in summer, I’m feeling very healthy about the lifestyle I’m following.

I think, I still love the feeling of being somebody to myself and challenge myself with new things from time to time. Most of us have the learning power to be what we want to be, so it’s just a matter of how you activate the button to make it happen.

‘Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are seeds. You can either grow flowers or weeds.’

I chose a colourful garden, thus I’ve already started all the gardening work. And you?

Plans for May

It’s the time of the year again for our BFF reunion. Seeing them brings me an indescribable sense of comfort and security, that’s simply because they know me much better than myself, I daresay. Being the last Summer break for most of us as a Student, I think this summer is going to be extremely precious to us since it’s the last time we can enjoy all the student privileges.

Cost of graduation= no discounted movie tickets and karaoke

This summer is also my busiest break with so many plans ahead of me, but I’m definitely enjoying it delightfully because I know I would have accomplished much after the break, knowledge and experience wise. This is my plan for May:

1. Diet.
Oh my god, my life has always been in a dilemma! People either say that I’m quite skinny or I’m fat. As much as I’m confused with the contrast, what upsets me the most is hearing the remark of me looking bigger-sized than a guy, when I consider myself a distance away from 'big sized'. Anyway, criticisms are only going to make me better, and I won't wait for another inflow of criticisms to come. So,I will lose some weight healthily until I don’t hear anything negative about my size anymore. Diet go go go!

2. Hangul.
I can read most of the words for now, thus I’m working on the vocabulary and sentence structures by watching online videos. I’ve a competition with Xin on our Hangul proficiency at the end of the break, and I've faith in myself to do well when I’m very determined to pull off something. I decided to self-learn make it more challenging, so please stay tuned my rival!
=P Good luck on your summer Korean class too!

3. Music composition.
It’s just a continuation on what I’ve been doing for a few months now. I’m also learning to play piano without music sheets to train my ears. I believe that mastering this skill will enhance my music composition to make them sound more vibrant and smooth. Wish me luck, peeps!

4. Nihon-go
Although I’m focusing more on Hangul now, it doesn’t mean that I neglect Japanese completely since my goal is to master both languages in 5 years time. So, I’m revising my past textbooks nowadays and planning to take the JLPT before going on to the next level. I once told a friend that I can expand my career opportunities in Asia with the 7 languages I’ll soon master, since I’ve always wished to work in different countries in future as a way to travel to different parts of the world. Of course, I understand that opportunities do not drop by without efforts being made, so I’m equipping myself from time to time to make myself a better rival to the others.

Keeping myself busy is the most efficient way to keep me motivated and make good use of the break time. After learning a bit about emotion management, I realized spending my time with worthy people always brings the best out of me and makes me feel calm. That's what matters to me at this stage of life.

Live life, love life, then only can I bring myself to my dreams.

P/S: Photography by PY, arigatou!

Christmas in Disneyland California

Disneyland California was one of the stops during my California winter trip, it was also the second Disneyland I visited after Disneyland Tokyo. Being the loyal Disney fan, I’m very proud to say that I had been growing up together with the Disney family, and I’m still joining my niece and nephews for Disney cartoons occasionally without getting bored of them. Come to think of it, I’m so glad for the presence of these cute characters in my childhood because they brought me tonnes of joyous childhood moments and left me with very good impression on cartoons in general. At least they are not some no-brainer programmes parents use to stalk time or distract their children so that they can do their own things. That’s how I learned the names of various animals by remembering Mickey MOUSE and Donald DUCK etcetera to build up a good foundation to start kindergarden. Also, some Disney cartoons are quite educational indeed as they consist of many morally right values, apart from some other ones which test children on their mathematical and scientific skills.

Hahaha, Disney please hire me as an ambassador, I can definitely do an excellent promoting job!

Anyway, we went there a day after Christmas, thus the crowd was still huge due to the seasonal holiday. The huge crowd affected our schedule by a whole lot and we ended up playing a few rides only because of the nasty queue.
Even taking pictures with mascot also required a super-long queue ok!! Everything seems to be so precious in Disneyland.
That makes pre-planning important with so many events and shows going on in a day, so we picked a few shows of our interests and had rides in between these shows, in hope to maximize our fun times in this wonderland. It was slightly ruined in the end as some shows had very limited seats to cater everybody, so we had to pick up Plan B – the spontaneous plan by taking rides with fewest people and watching shows that fit our timing.

Everybody please take a look at this ferris wheel carefully, can you notice the difference? This was the nastiest ferris wheel I had ever taken in my life, because the carts weren’t fixed in a specific location, so it would slide from one end to the other end as the ride was in motion. OMG, can you imagine the carts sliding from left to right at the top of the wheel continuously? It was just a nasty idea for an acrophobia person! Fortunately, I had my friends who joked with me at that time, if not I would have just closed my eyes for the entire ride, that’s for sure!

Honestly I wanted the Disney hats so much, was even thinking of getting a few for my nephews but the cost was a bomb, so I did it in an economical way- taking pictures. Sorry kids!

I feel you, bug!! It’s also tough to be a human.

Okay, this workshop caught my eyes as it provides information on the process of Disney animation. You can see a frame of animation which comprises of hundred of slides or so when you rotate the handle or the ball, it’ll show a series of step-by-step motion of the Disney characters. I’m so amazed with the skills these Disney’s graphic designers possess after seeing all these crazy work.

After struggling with the long line-ups for half a day, we gave up queuing for rides in the end and decided to wait for the Christmas parade in the evening. Taking pictures is definitely the best way to leave as much memories as possible to compensate with the lack of thrilling mechanical rides experience.

Finally the Christmas parade was here! I couldn’t really take a lot of pictures as the Disney characters were moving too quickly. Thus I took some time off camera to enjoy the Christmas atmosphere with Christmas carols re-sounding the otherwise busy street.I believe that living in Disneyland is many girls’ dream with fantasies embracing every corner of this wonderland. Seriously, even a street looked so dreamy and fancy, as if you could just build a hut there and live for the rest of your life.

Okay okay *slap self*, I know that this is way too impossible, but that’s how most girls will sink into the fantasies the moment they step into Disneyland.

Our whole Disneyland experience was very unforgettable, and it even ended with an epic moment. I had the most epic fireworks-watching experience in my life!

Why said so? Because it started raining right before the show. We watched it under heavy rain without any shade nor raincoat, the fireworks were shooting to the sky while the raindrops pouring on everyone of us simultaneously. So irony I know, but how could you leave Disneyland without watching the signature Disney fireworks at night?

No way, the rain could not water off our enthusiasm for fireworks! Fortunately the performance did not disappoint us, everything was just incredible except for the rain, and we definitely paid a physical price for the awesomeness, since some of us fell unwell on the next day.

Never mind, how many times in life can you actually watch fireworks in rain right? It would probably be my one and only.

My Disneyland California visit wasn’t an entirely pleasant experience,but I blame the crowd and weather for bringing down my excitement by a bit and caused me to prefer Disneyland Tokyo visit over it. Well, it wasn’t an uncontrollable decision due to our packed schedule and 26th seemed to be the ideal date for our visit. Hopefully I could visit another Disneyland in summer next time and make up for the things I missed out during this trip.

That very well predicts my next Disneyland trip---Disneyworld Florida.