Few months ago, I met someone who treats me really good, accepts my peculiar hobby and supports me behind, watches J-drama when I introduce it to him, brings me out just when I’m craving for food at night,thinks of places I have not been to and tries his best to bring me there, and someone who’ll knock my door just to bring over some desserts Instead of saying that he truly understands me, I’d say he’s willing to follow my pace and keep up with it.
By right, I should feel happy for someone like this, and I did try to cope with all the new things. However the more he does for me, the more I feel bad for him. He reminds me of him, all the things we once did together and those words that he used to tell me. He’s like a reflection of the previous him, just that the previous him is not there anymore.Just when I’m trying so hard to wrap up my previous incident so tightly, he comes and unwinds all the memories again. It seems like my effort has been put into waste as I thought I've overcome the obstacle, but it turns out that I'm just avoiding it temporarily, until someone turns up and reminds me of his existence again.
I gave myself a chance, but it didn't work out and the feeling wasn't right. The fear tells me something,that I’m just not ready to start a new chapter together with him, when I've just closed a chapter of the book. I can’t get rid of the fear and zero confidence in me, when I still have someone to let go. I thought it was the previous him whom I could rely and trust on, but it was the latter him who came by and compromised.
Sigh, I wonder what else can happen to me after all these complicated things.
Confession done.