Do have good thoughts, because thoughts will turn into things!

I’ve been having runny nose since last week and it seems to be unstoppable. Seriously, the amounts of tissues I’ve created make me feel guilty! I might as well start using handkerchief if the stubborn mucus doesn’t go away by this week.

Credits to PY.

Otherwise, my life is good as it is, with the increasing workload starting from June. I’ve been trying to keep up with 2 outings per week in May so that I can do my job as a part-time babysitter responsibly while having fun with my friends. Also, I’m caught up with the competition for its music arrangement and script writing, to an extent which the thought of striving for a better performance worries me sometimes. I always try to calm myself down by enjoying the entire experience as much as possible, just to ensure that I’ve learnt something new even though the result may not be what I’ve desired.

Gladly, I’ve been receiving a lot of support from my friends, some people are genuinely impressed with my musical ability, while the others are more focused on the mental and physical support. Seriously, I feel very touched for everything, you guys may not know how much all these mean to me, but they really keep me working harder to better myself.

On a side note, I’ve just met up with an old friend today and he complimented on my changes. He said I’m a tough cookie, but to me, he is always on par with me when it comes to toughness. Instead of keeping my head so high up for the compliment, I’d say that gaining strength is a must to everyone to stay in the competition. Thoughts turn into things, and if you want to stop tragedies from happening to you and influence your life continuously, then leave them out of the game and patch up the hole with yourself and other important people and things.

适时取舍，清扫心灵，告别过去，消除忧虑，大步向前

Trust me, it really works!

Life as a multi-tasker

I’m giving all out to music this summer break and devoting a lot of time in composing my own music pieces besides learning about music editing, not only for the sake of competition but also for my own collection. This is not something that I would love to show off ostentatiously because my skills are definitely not matured enough to be proud of, and I’m still in the progress to make this happen. Summer break is the only time where I have full flexibility to unleash my inspiration and put them into words and melody. Therefore, realizing my ideas instead of allowing them flying in my all day long is what my day is really about nowadays!

I’ve actually had a lot of ideas in mind since last time, so it’s just a matter of time and determination to realize my ideas. Everything can be a source of inspiration to me, a tiny sound or touching story etcetera, and I give myself sufficient time to expand on it everyday. Most importantly, I don’t deny about my creativity and the fire in me for music anymore, I unleash them instead.I really want to know how far I could go when I take music seriously.

My recent source of inspiration is G-Dragon’s music.I'm genuinely impressed by his musical creativity and imagination because there are just so many possibilities in his music, to an extent that it gives you a very good picture about the story he is trying to deliver.

OHH I LOVE GD!!!*becoming a fangirl suddenly, blush blush*

Inspirations and hard work are really my valuable assets when it comes to music.

Not only that, I’m also writing script for the first time to prepare for the competition. This is an absolutely new experience to me and I’ve known nothing better than to extract some ideas from tones and tones of music videos, and allow the scenes I’ve created to play in my mind over and over again. Wow, I’ve finally gotten a taste of the frustration of scarce resources throughout this process. I ain’t no perfectionist but having to consider about combined constraints like equipments, time, and results are really killing me sometimes.

Having said that, please please stay tuned for my first music video still, I think it’ll be out in a few weeks time.

Had baking session with mom last week to make up for the lack of CNY cookies I had eaten for the past 3 years. Baking session can be quite painful when it’s done alone, I’ve tried it before and it was extremely exhausting!! However, it’s a totally different story when it comes to baking with a few people since it can turn out to be a fun memory with more people sharing the work.

OOO I haven’t had homemade peanut cookies in years and my mom’s loving act has really melted my heart. She always has a place for me despite of her busy babysitting life, and I truly appreciate that.

I’ve been working out frequently thesedays, and I’m pretty satisfied with the outcome with 2 KGs being lost in 3 weeks. I just have to work hard to shred off another 2 KGs for my ideal weight. Turning my gear on for diet again, and I think this will be my life-time goal.

Of course, how can I miss out these 2 kids when it comes to summer break. Jo Kenn has grown up so much and looks slightly different from the previous pictures.

Babysitting can be quite frustrating at times with the lack of freedom and time. It does enable the thought of giving up on having babies in future to grow in my mind during frustration. And then I’ll come to a self-dilemma and start hating myself for having such a selfish thought. I often think that people who have perfect picture about marriage and children at my age have yet to see the real picture to destroy their ideal thoughts, because I used to think like them too! It’s only until I started getting in touch with children all day long and this experience brings about drastic changes in my thoughts.

Perhaps, I’m not as matured as these people when it comes to handling family issues. I really hope that this is just a phase and I’ll eventually get used to it someday.

Calm down, calm down!! I can do it!

Working hard as always

Took this on the last day of February, Eu and I were too excited about the snow. I really love this photo because it looks very artistic and poetic, like I was longing for something when I was just pretending. It’s sad to note that my very own photographer is leaving Vancouver soon, and that would mean lesser photo shooting sessions since she’s the best when it comes to capturing different sides of me. She’s just the best!!


Came across with this song a few months back and I really like it, it resembles my past in some ways.

I’m glad that I’ve drawn myself to happiness after 1.5 years of effort. It’s not just about individual effort and I can’t thank enough for those who have walked me through the dark, since it wasn’t something that I could take it easily and wipe off instantly. These hands are so precious because they have taught me that it’s okay to have false belief and tumble down, but never inhibit yourself from a brighter future and better life. Physical self is now recovered despite of the scar, but I’m still happy with the rejuvenated life and finally developed the courage to draw a line between things I should and should not associate with.

每一道傷痕都是紀念自己勇敢的印記。
在愛情裡，依然憧憬，繼續夢想，幸福其實離我們很近。

Close chapter officially. I will continue to work hard. =)

Most motivated summer break.

I’ve never felt this organized before during my break, I feel like I’m following a constant schedule I set for myself just so that I spend my time wisely. Everything is progressing smoothly fortunately. Indeed, I’ve never been learning so many things before during break time like this, so much that I actually feel excited about all the new things coming to me. As a late 21 year old, I would love to maximize my time for beneficial things rather than pure luxury in summer.

It’s all about improvement and achievement this time.

Although I’m shuffling my time among family, friends, and myself, I can never get bored of the time when I’m home because there are just so many activities that are attainable to me even at home. I sweat, study, try out new things, have fun and be inspired by all these things continuously. As much as I'm exhausted with the activities, I'm always rejuvenated by the wonderful time with BFFs weekly as a sweet retreat.

Who says we can only waste time at home? You have yet to know about the awesomeness of home.

For the first time in summer, I’m feeling very healthy about the lifestyle I’m following.

I think, I still love the feeling of being somebody to myself and challenge myself with new things from time to time. Most of us have the learning power to be what we want to be, so it’s just a matter of how you activate the button to make it happen.

‘Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are seeds. You can either grow flowers or weeds.’

I chose a colourful garden, thus I’ve already started all the gardening work. And you?

Plans for May

It’s the time of the year again for our BFF reunion. Seeing them brings me an indescribable sense of comfort and security, that’s simply because they know me much better than myself, I daresay. Being the last Summer break for most of us as a Student, I think this summer is going to be extremely precious to us since it’s the last time we can enjoy all the student privileges.

Cost of graduation= no discounted movie tickets and karaoke

This summer is also my busiest break with so many plans ahead of me, but I’m definitely enjoying it delightfully because I know I would have accomplished much after the break, knowledge and experience wise. This is my plan for May:

1. Diet.
Oh my god, my life has always been in a dilemma! People either say that I’m quite skinny or I’m fat. As much as I’m confused with the contrast, what upsets me the most is hearing the remark of me looking bigger-sized than a guy, when I consider myself a distance away from 'big sized'. Anyway, criticisms are only going to make me better, and I won't wait for another inflow of criticisms to come. So,I will lose some weight healthily until I don’t hear anything negative about my size anymore. Diet go go go!

2. Hangul.
I can read most of the words for now, thus I’m working on the vocabulary and sentence structures by watching online videos. I’ve a competition with Xin on our Hangul proficiency at the end of the break, and I've faith in myself to do well when I’m very determined to pull off something. I decided to self-learn make it more challenging, so please stay tuned my rival!
=P Good luck on your summer Korean class too!

3. Music composition.
It’s just a continuation on what I’ve been doing for a few months now. I’m also learning to play piano without music sheets to train my ears. I believe that mastering this skill will enhance my music composition to make them sound more vibrant and smooth. Wish me luck, peeps!

4. Nihon-go
Although I’m focusing more on Hangul now, it doesn’t mean that I neglect Japanese completely since my goal is to master both languages in 5 years time. So, I’m revising my past textbooks nowadays and planning to take the JLPT before going on to the next level. I once told a friend that I can expand my career opportunities in Asia with the 7 languages I’ll soon master, since I’ve always wished to work in different countries in future as a way to travel to different parts of the world. Of course, I understand that opportunities do not drop by without efforts being made, so I’m equipping myself from time to time to make myself a better rival to the others.

Keeping myself busy is the most efficient way to keep me motivated and make good use of the break time. After learning a bit about emotion management, I realized spending my time with worthy people always brings the best out of me and makes me feel calm. That's what matters to me at this stage of life.

Live life, love life, then only can I bring myself to my dreams.

P/S: Photography by PY, arigatou!

Christmas in Disneyland California

Disneyland California was one of the stops during my California winter trip, it was also the second Disneyland I visited after Disneyland Tokyo. Being the loyal Disney fan, I’m very proud to say that I had been growing up together with the Disney family, and I’m still joining my niece and nephews for Disney cartoons occasionally without getting bored of them. Come to think of it, I’m so glad for the presence of these cute characters in my childhood because they brought me tonnes of joyous childhood moments and left me with very good impression on cartoons in general. At least they are not some no-brainer programmes parents use to stalk time or distract their children so that they can do their own things. That’s how I learned the names of various animals by remembering Mickey MOUSE and Donald DUCK etcetera to build up a good foundation to start kindergarden. Also, some Disney cartoons are quite educational indeed as they consist of many morally right values, apart from some other ones which test children on their mathematical and scientific skills.

Hahaha, Disney please hire me as an ambassador, I can definitely do an excellent promoting job!

Anyway, we went there a day after Christmas, thus the crowd was still huge due to the seasonal holiday. The huge crowd affected our schedule by a whole lot and we ended up playing a few rides only because of the nasty queue.
Even taking pictures with mascot also required a super-long queue ok!! Everything seems to be so precious in Disneyland.
That makes pre-planning important with so many events and shows going on in a day, so we picked a few shows of our interests and had rides in between these shows, in hope to maximize our fun times in this wonderland. It was slightly ruined in the end as some shows had very limited seats to cater everybody, so we had to pick up Plan B – the spontaneous plan by taking rides with fewest people and watching shows that fit our timing.

Everybody please take a look at this ferris wheel carefully, can you notice the difference? This was the nastiest ferris wheel I had ever taken in my life, because the carts weren’t fixed in a specific location, so it would slide from one end to the other end as the ride was in motion. OMG, can you imagine the carts sliding from left to right at the top of the wheel continuously? It was just a nasty idea for an acrophobia person! Fortunately, I had my friends who joked with me at that time, if not I would have just closed my eyes for the entire ride, that’s for sure!

Honestly I wanted the Disney hats so much, was even thinking of getting a few for my nephews but the cost was a bomb, so I did it in an economical way- taking pictures. Sorry kids!

I feel you, bug!! It’s also tough to be a human.

Okay, this workshop caught my eyes as it provides information on the process of Disney animation. You can see a frame of animation which comprises of hundred of slides or so when you rotate the handle or the ball, it’ll show a series of step-by-step motion of the Disney characters. I’m so amazed with the skills these Disney’s graphic designers possess after seeing all these crazy work.

After struggling with the long line-ups for half a day, we gave up queuing for rides in the end and decided to wait for the Christmas parade in the evening. Taking pictures is definitely the best way to leave as much memories as possible to compensate with the lack of thrilling mechanical rides experience.

Finally the Christmas parade was here! I couldn’t really take a lot of pictures as the Disney characters were moving too quickly. Thus I took some time off camera to enjoy the Christmas atmosphere with Christmas carols re-sounding the otherwise busy street.I believe that living in Disneyland is many girls’ dream with fantasies embracing every corner of this wonderland. Seriously, even a street looked so dreamy and fancy, as if you could just build a hut there and live for the rest of your life.

Okay okay *slap self*, I know that this is way too impossible, but that’s how most girls will sink into the fantasies the moment they step into Disneyland.

Our whole Disneyland experience was very unforgettable, and it even ended with an epic moment. I had the most epic fireworks-watching experience in my life!

Why said so? Because it started raining right before the show. We watched it under heavy rain without any shade nor raincoat, the fireworks were shooting to the sky while the raindrops pouring on everyone of us simultaneously. So irony I know, but how could you leave Disneyland without watching the signature Disney fireworks at night?

No way, the rain could not water off our enthusiasm for fireworks! Fortunately the performance did not disappoint us, everything was just incredible except for the rain, and we definitely paid a physical price for the awesomeness, since some of us fell unwell on the next day.

Never mind, how many times in life can you actually watch fireworks in rain right? It would probably be my one and only.

My Disneyland California visit wasn’t an entirely pleasant experience,but I blame the crowd and weather for bringing down my excitement by a bit and caused me to prefer Disneyland Tokyo visit over it. Well, it wasn’t an uncontrollable decision due to our packed schedule and 26th seemed to be the ideal date for our visit. Hopefully I could visit another Disneyland in summer next time and make up for the things I missed out during this trip.

That very well predicts my next Disneyland trip---Disneyworld Florida.

梦想

梦想是很抽象的东西，有些人不努力实现它，只因为害怕面对现实与梦想之间的差距。当梦寐以求的机会真正来临时，自己却开始怀疑起自身的能力而停滞不前。有些人一辈子只为了一个梦想而活，在他们的世界里，没梦想就好像是在过着没意义的人生。也有些人，梦想里夹杂了很多外在因素，梦想对他们来说，是很复杂的东西，也并不是单靠个人意愿就能实践的想法。我跟欣就是属于这一类型的人。对我们来说，梦想，不仅仅是梦想而已。

我并不是输不起的人，也并没有雄心大志。这并不是因为我害怕输的感觉，而是经历过数次失去与输的感觉之后，我开始感觉到它的渺小与变幻无测的结果， 这些都不是我能操纵的范围。输赢并不可怕，可怕的是输掉自己与失败后的一蹶不振，但只要经历过那个阶段，就会重生，也会对世界多了另外一种看法。我的人生的成功不再与‘大志’与‘输赢’挂钩，而是偏向于丰富心灵的收获与简单朴实的幸福感为主。我能够扮演好的角色，就是深思熟虑每一步，再从梦想与身边珍贵的人与事物取个平衡点，以尽量不伤害别人为前提来实践我的梦想。梦想对我来说，并不一定是站在顶端享受着胜利滋味的瞬间；梦想对我来说，只是单纯地为了完成自己喜欢的事情而存在的使命。很多人都觉得拥有远大的包袱才是真正拥有梦想的人，但凡事都必须拥有大小两面才能够得到平衡，大志也只能在小志的扶持与衬托下才能发挥它最大的作用，这是人生的定律，缺一不可。很多事情都是始于一小步，再逐渐迈向一大步才会发生的，如果没有当初的一小步，那之后的一大步也会相对消失。

我只是觉得，很多梦想都是自身对未来的预测，也是能够随时间与耐性所完成的使命。喜欢让梦想保留于梦想的人，应该就是缺少了耐心与最精髓的冒险感，在面对未知的恐惧时，突然感觉到自己的渺小而觉得梦想不是能够被实现的事情。与其对大家说所有梦想都能够被实现这类的谎言，我觉得能够吸取当中的希望与精神再为自己喜欢的事情而努力，这也是一种对梦想所付出的努力。梦想并不一定需要对全世界的人做出无比非凡的影响力，它也可以专属于一个人的人生，承载着他一生奋斗的故事。梦想，很多时候，都不是件很遥远的事情，是大家无意间把它扩大，延伸到它貌似遥不可及的地步。

其实，梦想，一直都在你的身边。

First on-cruise dinner in Vancouver

Last Saturday was a good good night. I was honoured to become my housemate’s ‘partner’ for her graduation dinner. To begin with the story, she actually tempted me with the chocolate fondue fountain available at the cruise dinner, so I nodded my head without any sense of hesitation, not even a bit after hearing ‘chocolate fountain’! I knew I would have regretted much if I didn’t attend it, not mainly because of the sweet sensation, but ….

I DIDN’T WANT TO MISS THE CHANCE TO SEE EU IN DRESS! That was a huge price to pay relatively to the extra revision hours I would have gotten by mugging at home, her transformation was just way too huge for me to say no.

Seriously, she never failed in impressing me. I felt like my eyes grew an inch bigger the first time seeing her in a formal dress and looking so feminine! Hahah, that was exaggerating of course, but you know the kind of feeling when someone surprises you with something they haven’t done before since the day you’ve met them, that was how I felt.

So I became the make-up and hair stylist of the day to makeover Eu. It wasn’t entirely a difficult task because she preferred a simple style with minimized chemicals on her face, so I just fulfilled her desire with my tools. I think I took even longer time satisfying myself since I tried on a new hairstyle on that day. I made a side twist with a bun at the end of the hair. Hooo, I was so glad that I made it! Might consider doing my own hair and make up on my sis’s wedding.

I’m so glad that I’m being trusted by my girlfriends on my fashion sense and styling skills thesedays, and some of them even put their hands on me for a makeover. It’s only until recently when people started asking about my opinions on fashion, cosmetics, as well as styling which make me feel like I've been developing some new ideas on these things along the way. To me, the basic in fashion is still finding your own style and the attires which fit you best, then only branch out to various styles from the attires you’ve picked earlier. It’s barely about the price, because you make your clothes valuable by carrying them well, that is the market and social price you set on the clothes, instead of letting the pricy clothes to have a control over you. I guess it is a never-ending route for me as well, which is why I’m always absorbing new knowledge all the time. You just have to be inspired by all sorts of things and let them take their tolls on you, then only will you blossom from these inspirations that you get.

I won’t coin myself the term ‘fashionista’ or a skilful stylist, but I’m definitely one of a kind who will scrutinize myself to bring out the potentials in me, for the sake of my own happiness and confidence.

Another interesting thing on that night was the taking-photo encounter. So I met Eu’s friend who’s also majoring in Economics, she was speaking Cantonese to Eu all the while, and when she turned back to me, she hold back for a while and paused. She had that ‘ are you Korean?’ kind of look, and then I decided to break the ice by speaking Cantonese to her and explained myself for the 1849059202 times in my life. Funny enough, she actually took a picture with me at the end of the day because she thought that I look like Kara’s Goo Hara, so she could show off to her friends with our picture! Oklah, I personally don’t think so but I still feel happy to be flattered in such a way, since I’m definitely no way near Goo Hara. I’m happy enough to be mistaken in a good way.

Anyway, back to the main topic, the foods served were dull enough to be forgotten, I’d say, but I still love the night after immersing myself into the mugging world for a few days, and going to hold for 2 weeks after it. It was a good break in the midst of a tough battle. Also, it was my first on-cruise dinner in Vancouver, so it was still exciting to me to enjoy the dinner and Vancouver’s evening view simultaneously. I’ve had uncountable memories in this city, far more than the reasons for me to hate this rainy place, thus I do feel attached to it in a unique way sometimes, despite from all the homesickness I’ve to bear with at the other end of the string. Perhaps that is just the price of growing up, to try out new life experiences, believe with a pure mind, maximize every possibility, and glow with a fond heart lastly.

April’s fool? Naww, April’s Oreo!!

My first mission in April was to bake a birthday cake for Eu. I’m not really a handicapped when it comes to baking, but making a whole cake entirely by myself was definitely my first experience. However, we wanted to make this birthday a memorable one since it would be the last birthday we celebrate together for Eu in Vancouver before she graduates.Being the experience’less’ twosome, Blackangel and I decided to challenge ourselves with our first cake-baking experience, exclusively for our beloved ex-2614 housemate.

We made it a late-night project since it was the assignments’ peak at this time of the month, so we as the ‘good’ students did our best to balance between friends and studies *chuckles*. It was however a busy day for me because I only started hunting for ingredients on the same day, while doing my grocery shopping simultaneously. Hahah, I couldn’t believe myself switching from Daiso to an asian supermarket, followed by a western supermarket as my ultimate stop in 4 hours,just to make sure that I get everything that I needed! Gah, Vancouver can be quite a troublesome place in doing food shopping sometimes, when everything is so far apart, and when I don’t have a CAR! *sigh*

I chose to bake oreo cheesecake since it’s the easiest cheesecake to make for a new baker like me, moreover it only requires refrigeration to solidify the cake, so I don’t even have to give a head on the possibility of baking a burnt product, although the cheesecake itself is already black enough! I would be way too embarrassed to give something which looks and tastes so unpleasant to my friend.

Tada, so here was the final product which didn’t look quite bad after all *grins*. Although blackangel considered it as a shit-look-alike NICE cake, I still take it as a compliment out of her ‘harshness’. Don’t be too proud with your ‘lipidized’ apple cake and look down on the cake which is made from your best buddy- Mr.oreo okay! =P

Blackangel's apple cake

We had a simple birthday celebration with the birthday girl by chilling out at blackangel’s place on a Sunday afternoon, which pretty much matched with Eu’s homely birthday celebration style. I really like it when the three of us have heart-to-heart talk and let every conversation ends in the same room we have it. It’s not easy to find trustworthy people to talk to nowadays, there are often times when I lose faith in people whom I’ve trusted so so much, and picking up my broken belief is what I usually get in the end. It’s not that I’m blaming them for what they have done to me, but I’ve learned a vital lesson about trust in the end, that you have to select your friends carefully and create your own circle to keep up with the trust.It all comes down to simple math again, where addition and deduction of things are the two rules to derive an ultimate answer for your life choices, so you really have to evaluate your standpoint from time to time to get the true call for your desired life. Faith is the call I possess for the people I choose to include in my life, and I’m lucky enough to have found lovely people who are willing to accept my premium trait wholeheartedly.This is my destiny, and I’m accepting it as it is, undoubtedly.

Seems like the birthday girl really liked our surprise, as I got rewarded red bean soup at night!

Happy Belated once again, Eu猪猪！

p/s: For those of you who are interested in the cheesecake recipe, you can refer to this website:

http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/topic/14690-unbaked-oreo-cheesecake/

March Part (II)

I always welcome creative ideas into my world by living creatively. My brain sparked up a little firework this month because I’ve thought of a new way to wish someone’s happy birthday. Instead of writing message on a regular birthday card, I draw it on marshmallows by using food markers. They add emotions to the foods and fancy the foods as well, don't they?

Hmm,looks like I’m becoming a real food person at all means! Well, I think that's one of a skill as well, to live, eat, and enjoy everything creatively whenever we can.

I’ve spent quite a bit on cosmetics lately, mainly to enhance my make-up skills with the newly bought cosmetic products. I finally had the urge to buy a 100-colour palette after strengthening my foundation skills for a year, as I never felt the necessity of having various eye-shadow colours when I first touched on the art of making up. That was normal to me because I didn't even know the correct way to apply eye-shadow when I was still a make-up newbie, therefore I would definitely go for eyeliners over eye shadows at that time.

But yes, humans need progression, and so do my make-up skills! Therefore, I should really have more faith in myself and get a hand on other slightly complicating make-up steps in future.

The only downside in March was getting to know that my aunt had made her journey to the heaven a few weeks back. Seeing someone so close to us leaving is always saddening, but I’ve come to realize that the only thing I could do to alleviate the pain for her loss is to live well and keep her spirit with me all the time. She didn’t mean to leave us tears of sorrow solely, perhaps her perseverance till the very end of her journey on earth was the message she wanted to leave us- live life till the very end, for there’s a season for everything. It is a hard phase to me, but I try to take it as a form of liberation to her in good means as well as another happy journey in the wonderland. Thus, I will reincarnate after the moments of condolences, for her, for myself, and for everyone who has been struggling so hard to simply make a living.