August 02, 2010

In reply to El 'this thing called love' Part 2

ATTN: This is a post specially to all girls who are having issues placing trust in guys. So, it may offend a certain individuals but please do not be too sensitive about it because these are just my views based on my own experiences and observations.

I’ve been dealing with this trust issue for so long and yet I can’t find a cure for it, because I know that trust in guys is just something that’s poor in me.I put the blame on guys partially for letting me feel this way, but it’s also about me because I find it difficult to trust any guy the way I did before anymore. I tried before but the way guys repaid my trust was simply disappointing, until I don’t see a reason of putting up with so much pain and giving in so much for a guy. It eventually becomes an uncertainty which changes the way I work for my future.

I’ve accepted one thing: Things will usually end the same in a society like this, for a girl who’s aged like me. Seriously, I’ve trusted you so much and what did I get in return? So why don’t I trust myself more then and treat myself better since you all are still in the midst of choosing a good, better, and the best one.

It's just simply more hurtful for me to hear the reason of your struggle than to live without you.

“Because I’m still young, therefore I can still choose, it’s not like I’m going to marry her or what.”

I can understand the fact that you are young and you're not up for marriage, but what I can't bear with is the fact that you use age as an excuse to not commit in a relationship.I’m not going to give in to all the guys who think so anymore, I think we all, girls deserve much more better than this. Seriously, girls please remember one thing: you can still go on with your life without anyone, especially those jerks. Therefore, please don’t downgrade yourself and prioritize someone who’s not worth your time. Don’t be too in love with the idea of love and give in everything you have to someone who may not treat you the same. And, don’t be worried about the people in your past, there is a reason they did not make it into your future.

I don’t want to and I don’t understand why I have to anticipate so much for something which might turn out to be saddening. Of course it may also end up happily but we just have to be rational sometimes and consider about every possible consequence when it comes to a relationship. Nothing is 100% guaranteed and perfect, so we do have to be logical enough to think of the outcome when things do not work well, so that we can still stay strong and be able to carry on with our lives happily.

Well, I do come from a happy family with blissful family marriages and long relationships, but it means nothing to my future because I may not be as lucky as them, and I have to be prepared for that consequence. Of course it’s good if I can find that someone in my life, but I have to be prepared for the worst to come as well because no one knows what is going to happen exactly later on. Touch wood if it really happens and I’m still single 10 years later, at least I’m financial capable of providing myself a good life with stable income. At least I can live a stress-free life from financial burden and help the other people if I start working my ass off from now on.

It all comes down to one question anyway, because I lack the trust in guys, I’m highly insecure of my future with a guy. Due to that, I don’t know what is going to happen to my love life later on, and that leads me to the way I work for my future now. I can’t plan for my love life, but I can plan for my future. Don’t you think so? And if you think your future is still far away, no, you’re already making your way there and everything’s going to happen within 10-15 years time. Remember how you went through your teenage life? Everything just happened like a shooting star.

That is why I don’t anticipate and expect for any good guy anymore. If I happen to get one, then it’s a good thing and I consider myself lucky. If not, I know I still have my life too. Really, I don't hate those guys who walked passed my life because they've made me the way I am now. I thank you guys for giving me a chance to re-discover myself and the things I want in my life.

You may disagree with me on this because you have a happy relationship right now. Putting trust in guys is a subjective matter so as long as you are happy, why not? Just go for what you think is the best for you and your beloved one, for this is what I think is the best for me.

P/S: I truly wish everyone who has a happy relationship to have the best in their life and don’t find it offensive and assumed that I wrote this because I hate guys. I’m not lesbian and I don’t hate guys, I wrote it based on my friends and my own experiences. I sincerely give my blessings to everyone of you and hopefully you’ve figured out a way in enabling your relationship to work out.

El and Win, I truly wish you all the best in your relationship!