A young and tough fighter ever

Reading stories of the others can be really inspiring sometimes. Every little thing can be inspiring, it injects some power into your life and makes you feel like you’ve the absolute power to make a difference in another person’s life when you’re powerful enough to control your mind and soul.

This is the third year we all are fighting for our beloved little boy Jia Kenn on CP, especially his parents. He is a tough boy, I dare say he’s tougher than anyone of us when we were at his age. The pain he endures from all sorts of therapies is really beyond description, not to mention his effort in going through all the traumatizing things at such a young age. I see how he has been occupied with all the activities everyday and how he has been fighting with them all the while. Really, I’ve never thought so much about health until I’m touched down with some real life examples from the closest person around me.

When we knew about his condition, I used to ask myself one question: Why must it be him? He’s just a baby, why must he go through so much pain and a much more difficult life?

The question remains until I read my sister’s blog one day and she says:

‘But, ugly truth always catches up with you. Truth has a nasty way of slapping you in the face sometimes. It keeps reminding you everyday with the difficulties he has to deal with as he grows older. e.g. scoliosis.’

We don’t ask why when we’re chosen for a talent, a good life, a golden opportunity or anything good and lucky, so why should we ask why when we’re given a much more challenging path than the others? We shall never ask what God has hideously planned for us, but we go through it and learn a lesson about life from there. Life has a way of going on its own without giving you a reason sometimes, until you’re willing to accept the reality and deal with it then only will you understand the reason behind it.

Also, why must we think of it as a misfortune? His presence is a gift to all of us in the family, we always feel grateful for him and big Kenn. But I never even want to think of him as a special kid, because he is just like everyone of us: to gain the general acceptance in the society, besides being able to walk and take care of his own in future.

Since then, I refused to ask why anymore because I’ve so much faith in him, I believe the day when I see him walking and hearing ‘yiyi’ from him is not far if we support him all the way down the road. Also, I’ve gained so much power from Jia Kenn, so I really hope that he’s also pumped up with all the support around him and keep up the good work until he reaches the miracle.



I love the boys, very very much. I feel thankful for the boys, very very much.
Thank you Kenns’ mama for the boys and also all the hard work all these while.

While we are still ranting so much about our lives, have we ever thought of those who suffer so much more than us, so much that’s enough to keep our mouth shut and just keep going on with our well-gifted opportunity to live.

It’s a pleasure to be given an opportunity to live an ordinary life and possess all that we have, have you ever thought of it?

On diet

I’m on diet for almost a month now and managed to shred off a few KGs of fats all ‘imported’ from Vancouver. But I’m not like those celebrities, I don’t carry out dietary plan which would drive me crazy due to food crave. I just reduced my food portion while going to gym regularly.

You know, one thing I like about myself is that I will work on something once I find the need to do so, regardless of what other people say. I noticed a lot of people are being dishonest when commenting on someone’s weight, that’s why going on diet is a thing you have to self-realize it and then do something about it. To me, it’s either you tell the truth to thrill me to go on diet, or you don’t talk anything about it to make me not realize it, be it in front of me or behind me.

Oh yay, so this is what I’ve been doing for now:
1. Meal-to-meal time is 4-5 hours and try not to have snacks in between.
2. Reduced meal portion and eat until I’m 70% full.
3. Work on treadmill for an hour three times a week.


Basically it’s just an ‘eat less exercise more’ plan since I’m not fully banning myself from any food, I just reduced the amount of consumption. The good news is, I’m just 2 kgs away from my target only, and I’ll definitely continue to work hard on it.

つっと頑張ります

This is the real target I’m talking about!!

I love our BFF club.

My Penang trip ended wonderfully with the greatest travel partners of mine for the past few years. Now I realized choosing the right travel partner is extremely important for one to enjoy the vacation fully. Without the right person, the vacation can just be ruined anytime at anywhere even though the incident might be a small matter.

I’ve been taking photos with them for 10 years, and this photo is undoubtedly the most creative photo we’ve ever taken. Seriously, we should give a credit to the photographer because he insisted us to pose like this.The picture really looks like some kind of movie poster with CK as the main lead.

LOL, why didn't I think of this idea earlier, I should have recorded a video at Kek Lok Si with you guys in it!!!


Thank God for all the girls’ time we spent together and all the jokes we made, even with the frustrating GPS, closed laksa shop and also unnecessary toll fee, I think we still made our trip fun in our own way, as always.

^.^ Oh yay, I love our BFF club, and BFF never dies!

I need you guys.

这首歌很适合我，因为它就像是我的心情写照。

最近的我过得很好，很努力地在享受着我的暑假，努力地把时间都塞满并设订了一个目标好让自己专心做好一件事情。我只是很害怕停下来的感觉，怕自己一闲下来就会开始想东想西，更害怕每一个晚上临睡前的那个空档，脑海里会浮现出他的样子。

这是我21年以来，第一次觉得如此的害怕和无助。

Babi问我：他最近有约你出去吗？
没有

这样的距离很好，这样才能让我慢慢驱走那种不安的感觉，戒掉爱的习惯。我也不想主动联络他，这样对他也好，这样他才可以专心去做他喜欢的事情。见不到也许是最好的，因为遇到了也不知道该说些什么，场面会很尴尬。现在的我，很害怕会压抑不了自己的情绪，造成对方的压力。毕竟，感觉不一样了，很多事情就会连带改变。如果能再遇到的话，也许我会对他坦白一切，告诉他我曾经百分百地努力为他付出过，百分百地相信他，百分百地想要成全他，对他三倍，四倍，甚至是百倍的好。只是他从来都不曾发觉，不曾发觉自己一直以来都把不是理所当然的好当成是理所当然的，不曾发觉很多次的电话都是我先拨给他的，很多次的约会都是我主动提出的，很多次的关心都只是单方面的，很多次的很多次，到头来只换来了沮丧与无助而已。

真的，我找不到一个继续努力下去的理由，逐渐失去了动力，也失去了对他的信任与信心。有一些幸福是必须从别人的痛苦中割舍出来的，是要经过失败，不甘心，难过与释怀才能够堆彻出来的幸福。这没有什么不公平的，因为人总不能在每一方面都得到圆满的结果，得到了一些也相对会失去另外的一些，也一定会有些难题在阻碍着我们的人生。人总要努力过了才愿意去看清现实，亲手结束自己给予自己的期待。而我唯一觉得欣慰的是，自己拥有勇气不顾一切地付出过，走出过第一步。既然有勇气踏出第一步，就自然会有勇气接受剩下来的残局。

我想，是时候走我自己该走的路，找回属于我自己的人生了。这是我的选择，我明白一旦说了出来就不会再有任何挽回的余地，只是这一次，我真的想对自己好一百倍，一千倍，做出对我最好的选择。也许会后悔，但我会接受自己选择的后果。

我想，无论过了多久的时间，我还是会不忍心要对他发脾气，生气不起来，只希望他能够快快乐乐的，幸福就好。我们之间的结局已经不重要了，他的幸福就是对我之前的付出最好的回报。

Babi说：顺其自然就好啦，以后会遇到更好的人

嗯，在这之前，我会好好地照顾自己，并尽情地享受一下自己的生活。只是这一次，我真的很希望有你们的陪伴与鼓励，那对我很重要。没有你们的我熬得有点吃力，有点辛苦，所以如果你们有时间的话，绝对不要吝啬地收起来，一定要一定要分给我一些时间。有好笑的笑话跟八卦也绝对要交出来，别想要丢下我一个人喔！

希望我这次的大作战能够成功，也希望跟我拥有一样经历的人也能够很快地熬过去。

答应你们，我会陪你们，我们互相陪伴彼此，互相勉励，好吗？

Reunion

Oh my Tuhan, finally I met up with my 2 husbands after three freaking weeks!!Small husband knows me so well because we all have bangs and curly hair coincidentally, which is seriously nothing but tacit understanding we’ve built on each other after so many years.

Besides reuniting with my husbands, yesterday was also my first time seeing big husband’s husband in person. She calls him Ironman, and I seriously agree so because he travelled all the way down from Terengganu to meet up with Winney and us (uhmm uhmm, we became two striking lightbulbs unfortunately).

Me: 第一次见到他，我有点紧张耶
Deng：我也是耶，不知道见到要讲些什么好
Me:也对，毕竟他见的是‘情敌’呢
Deng:不过他才要紧张吧，第一次见到我们两个
Me: 对吼，呵呵呵。不管了啦，到时再算好了

It wasn’t my first time meeting up with besties’ boyfriends and chit-chatting on the same table, but I always notice this problem, fellow boyfriends get extremely quiet when it comes to girls’ conversation. That makes me feel very bad for them because I think they are just too shy to say anything at all time. However, it’s really an extremely exciting thing to witness bestie’s blissfulness , and I always wish things remain this way for them , in a good way always.



^.^ Meet up more please, my dear husbands.

Sodagreen

This Hokkien song is amazing.


The amazing thing is, I don’t really understand the song but the melody is just simply heart wrenching that it overwhelms everything else.

I started acknowledging Sodagreen because of MK, when she recommended me “小情歌” but I didn’t quite like that song the first time I heard it, it gave me goose bumps in a weird way. However, that’s not the end of it as the vocalist 吴青峰 composes a lot of good songs for the other singers. One of the few songs which caught my heart is 带我走. Seriously, there’s some unique talent in this guy, his songs as well as the music videos are really artistic.

His voice has an unexplainable attraction in it, it’s neither manly nor powerful but it’s soothingly soft, so soft that it calms me down.Listening to Sodagreen’s songs really feels like reading a touching storybook.

Nanny talks

One of my daily tasks nowadays is to pick up my niece from her school. I’ll wait at the school entrance every afternoon until JH comes out of her class and then bring her home. If you were to ask me about the most enjoyable moment throughout this experience, it would be the moment when I hold her tiny hand,asking her about her school life while walking towards the car.Because of that, I get a taste of my mom’s feeling when she used to pick me up from school since I was in kindergarden and all the way until high school. I also understand the feeling of having a fixed and repetitive schedule daily, as well as the sacrifices a mom makes for her children.



I must say children these days are getting more busy as compared to the childhood times I had last time. When I was at her age,I spent most of the time playing with my toys and also watching how Jerry fooled Tom. But also because of the early education, they are undoubtedly smarter and cheekier, so time is really the price they pay for their learning progress in future.

I've also noticed that moms are especially concerned about the daily amount of water their children drink in school. When I was still schooling, my mom used to check my water bottle everyday after school and scolded me if my bottle was still full. So, one of the activities I loved doing with my classmate was to compete drinking water with each other a few minutes before school ended, just to save myself from going through all the trouble.

There’s a saying ‘like mother like daughter’, since my mom has become a grandma now, there’s actually another person who shares the same concern with her on this matter, the one whom her bottle used to be checked when she was young. The first thing my mom or my sis would ask her granddaughter/daughter when she picks up JH is :Did you drink water today? Did you finish drinking your water? Let me see your bottle.

Wow, I used to hear that everyday too, the thought of seeing another kid going through the same thing as I did before amuses me.



Ya, I really wonder if all moms are the same.

Upon writing this entry, I really feel like as if I’m stepping into the NANNY world with a lot of childcare experiences to share with you guys. A lot of my friends say I’m a potential mom in future due to my experiences, hmmm in which I doubt a lot on that because for now, I'm not prepared to have a child in future yet.

I feel old, literally.

Nahh, how not to feel so when my third nephew is coming to this world soon!!

The swan and I

When I was biking at Stanley Park with Isis 2 months ago, we passed by this swan.



What’s so special about this swan?? It was almost twice the size of a regular swan, undoubtedly big enough to catch our attention. We decided to stop by and take a picture of it.

At first we thought it was very gentle and going near it to snap a picture wouldn't be a problem to us.

But but…..don’t be deceived by its calm and steady look.We totally underestimated the swan.



The swan was so defensive, the moment we went near it, it opened up its wings to ‘welcome’ us. When we were 2 steps from it, it started biting our shoes already.Seriously, I thought a big fat animal like this would be a little bit retarded and tame, but I was really wrong.

SORRY LAH swan, I really looked down on you before that.



So that’s how this awkward photo is born, with a photo tittle "The defensive swan and a nervous me". What a combination !!!!

Nicknames

Better Together-Jack Johnson

I noticed a lot of my friends like to add ‘baby’ behind my name. They prefer calling me mich ‘babi’ or ‘ babe’ or simply just ‘bb’ to make it sound sweeter. At first there was just one friend who called me baby, and then more and more friends joined the line. To me, I don’t mind people calling me any nicknames at all so long that they are sweet and nice. It’s just that different bunch of friends call me by different nicknames, that's why my nicknames are various and ranged widely, from animals to cartoons to some weird ideas which pop out from the nowhereland.

Here are some examples:

1. 蚂蚁
2. 呆mun仔
3. Minnie mouse
4. Mich babi
5. Darmun
6. Munx2
7. Bzz Mun
8. Ah Pui
9. Ah B chan
10. Lao Po
11. Bossi

Somehow these nicknames make me feel good because they all have different interesting stories behind them. Also, they remind me of different persons and bring up different memories. That’s why I tell you, it’ll be so difficult for you guys to come up with a new nickname for me, because I already have a list of names and I don’t know what else can I be called.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT ELSE CAN I BE CALLED?

Busy bee

Since I’ve come back to Malaysia, I’ve maintained a pretty healthy lifestyle. When I say healthy, that includes an appropriate dietary style as well as sleeping time. My biological clock has changed to such an extent that I sleep at around 10-11 p.m and wake up at 8 a.m daily. Because of that, I don’t eat supper anymore (not like I did it in Vancouver, but I would usually drink a cup of milo before I sleep).Perhaps it’s a good change because it simply makes my day longer. I’ve once seen a line from a fridge magnet in a souvenir shop, the line goes like this: “if you wake up at 8 a.m for three mornings, that gives you an extra half day”.



I really enjoy my time back home so far,have been spending plenty of fun time with family, friends, books, gym, and piano, meanwhile updating my life with my Vancouver buddies out there. I like the sense of belonging and comfort here, it makes me feel like I’m a part of somebody else’s social circle and I mean something to them. Thank you for proving to me on how good my life already is.



I had a nice haircut and I'm doing my best to make my hair alive again. I’ve bangs now and it feels like as if I went back to my high school times , with that bangs and a straight pony tail, the only difference is that I’ve permed hair now. Colouring my hair for the first time really ruined my virgin hair, and I’m doing my best to rejoice it now. “Dear hair, your healthiness is my concern you know, so don’t upset me with all the split ends and dryness.”

6 months have past and I did make changes to accommodate with my life now. In order to live healthily and tidily, I had a major clean up for my rooms in Vancouver and also K.L and got rid of all the unwanted stuffs which I hesitated to throw last time.

“原来只要一狠下心肠，可以丢的东西可以很多”

I can now understand why they say I keep a lot of garbage in my room. Now I see that a new start only comes after a major clean up of everything. I also kept some memorable things in a box while leaving some in my friend’s place in Vancouver. I think, it’s like a Pandora box to me so I’ll hardly open it again unnecessarily. It’s for the better, I tell myself.

Yes, it’s for a new start.

I’m not angry, upset or disappointed anymore, but somehow I lack the intention to talk to him. Maybe knowing about someone’s life a tad lesser is doing me good. Perhaps I’m also a selfish person, I don’t want to be reminded on certain things, so just let a new life slips in and maintain it like how it is now. Months have passed and I feel tranquilized now after putting in so much effort to forget, therefore I don’t think I should break the mercy and ruin the balanced life I have for now.



"若你碰到了替我问候他, 告诉他我过得很美满"

"若你碰到了替我问候他 祝福他和他的另一半
就这样吧若你碰到他"

There’s one person whom I want to thank from the bottom of my heart- bear bear Young. You always accompany me in the hardest time, from 7 years ago until now.

本当に感謝して.