I’ve witnessed this phenomenon indeed; I’ve seen how my friends change over the time after starting a relationship. I don’t meet up with them as often, mailbox seems to be rather quiet, friends forget their promises occasionally and you see your name appears lesser and lesser on their blog. Then you start questioning yourself, is it your friends who change or is it you who stays the same?
I’m not sure but I just see how friendship starts to fade out a little when a new relationship creeps in. Because nothing stays the same forever, friendship itself will go through several stages as we grow older. We used to spend a lot of time together with our peeps last time, that’s how we define intimacy and a friendship’s strength. However, as time passes by, we may be occupied with other things and our time commitment for each other starts to go on a downhill. Then it gets worse when we start dating and be in a relationship. Just admit it, friends won’t think of you as much as they did before when they have boy/girlfriend and even if they told you that they never change, you know they’re just trying their best to lie to you.
You know they’ve changed when they don’t do what they have done for you in the past. You know when the first few things they tell you is always about their boy/girlfriend, and it makes you feel as if you’ve known their boy/girlfriend for a very long time after every conversation. When you update them about your life, they suddenly feel guilty and apologize.They say, “I’m sorry for being such a bad friend, I never care enough for you”.
Meanwhile, I also understand that if a relationship can’t change a person towards a more loving and caring one, then that is actually a failure. To be a loving and caring person, time spent on each other is the golden key.But that doesn’t mean that we can’t keep up with our friends, it’s just that we’ve changed another way to keep in touch with them. We don’t spend as much time together anymore, but a ‘take care’ or 'miss you' simply means more than anything else. A friendship’s strength is not measured by the time commitment we have for each other, but it’s measured by the love and blessings we have for them in times of separation. It’s not about the sadness which arises when we haven’t been talking for months, it’s about the excitement I feel when they update me occasionally.
Yeap, adjusting your schedule and lifestyle is just a must-change thing in life, so there’s nothing much for you guys to feel bad about, because I know at some point in my life, my friends will have their own lives to be busy with, and also a more important person for them to take care of.At this time,my responsibility as a friend is to compromise with the lack of updates and time spent with them.Also, I'm supposed to give them my full blessings and.... learn more about their boy/girlfriends through our conversations probably.
Don’t have to comfort me by saying that you won’t change, because changing your attitudes when you are in a relationship can be positive. It may turn you from hot-tempered to patient, from impulsive to careful, from a self-centered person to a considerate person.
If I can understand the reason for your sudden change, then you don’t have to deny it at all, since it may be a good thing.
And one day, when you suddenly think of me, just remember that I’m always at the point where I’m staying all the time, watching and haunting you guys, hohohoho!