Night walking

Tonight,I was very bored looking at the 2 cans of cream soup to be used for my assignment, I bet I’ll dream of the ingredients if I continued looking at them.Quick enough,I made an impulsive decision to give night walking a first try since I had no idea what to do and who to turn to.

Although it was raining lightly, my legs were not in control and I had a strong urge to get out of the house. I thought it would be a good idea to walk around the campus under the rain, just like how I used to walk under the rain with Val on our way back home from school, until our shoes and socks were soaking wet.

Just that, I was all alone this time.

I’m not a lone ranger, but I really couldn’t recall anyone who would do such a crazy thing with me in the midst of the night, at 11+ pm when it was still raining outside. I don’t think anyone would be up for me.

Someone told me that jogging will stimulate happy hormones, but that didn’t work well on me. So I tried on night walking, since I haven’t been going out on my own in a while, thus I really don’t mind going out for a walk alone. What I really needed was a quiet place, a clear mind, an MP3, and a pair of legs to keep me walking.

So I began my journey and started walking to those familiar places in which I’d pass by a few times everyday during school days. I'm always in a rush during schooldays, walking at the speed of light and neglecting the surroundings most of the time. Therefore, I took very small steps this time and tried to scrutinize everything which passed by me, attempting to capture everything on my sight. There were people who walked in the opposite direction as mine , they must be thinking that I was insane since I was the only one moving toward somewhere where the public transit couldn’t be accessed.

I walked from the west side to the east side of the campus, stopped by at rose garden, then I moved on to the west side again, passed by Thunderbird stadium. The whole journey took me approximately 1+ hour. It felt good to be clueless on my destination, and proceeded down the road leisurely. I didn't have to worry about the time and walked until I felt like going home. If it wasn’t because of the rain, I think I could have stayed outside for even longer and take a sit on a bench somewhere. Frankly, I think I should make use of my tuition fees and explore the campus as much as possible since my parents have paid so much for it. It should be the place for everything from study, accomodation, scenery (slightly), to achievement, then only can it fit the slogan 'a place of mind'.

My mind is so jumbled up with all sorts of things and that screw me really hard. I can’t make it feel right,and I don’t know how to amend it. I’ve everyone’s problem with me, and when I finally have time for my own problems, I can’t find a person to turn to. It was my first time apologizing to someone for not being able to chat with her after a couple of minutes, because I wasn't feeling very right at that time. If I didn't stop at that very moment, it would have become her turn to worry about me. But you see, I seldom lose my patience to listen,it has been my all-time role among my friends.It makes me feel so guilty when I fail to carry out my role properly.

All these while, I never really ask for anything. But suddenly, I feel like talking on the phone in the midnight when I can't sleep. Suddenly, I feel like unraveling everything and borrow someone's shoulder to lay on. Suddenly, I feel like borrowing someone's time and let myself all out.

Gah. I miss those times when I had the chance to tell out my secrets, when they ain't secrets in front of you guys.

Kelly Clarkson does the wonder.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even without fists held high, yeah
Never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now
I can't stop

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone
I'm already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone,already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

This is definitely another goodie from her after " Because Of You".

It takes time to open up the door again

Just yesterday, Susie told me a heart-breaking accident which happened on her friend and the girl’s boyfriend. Frankly, it was not the first time I heard such an ordeal happened to people around me.Having said that, my emotions will still be affected everytime I hear something like this. It’s always painful to hear, or see people leaving us, knowing that they have stepped on a path for eternity, towards a place which is beyond our reach.

Perhaps the only way we can keep them with us is to bond the tie within two hearts, to remember and believe that they will never step out of our heart. Then we move on to our life, with the belief that they’re still watching over us. Maybe, their mission on earth is completed, and now they have another mission and responsibility to complete in an eternal world.Maybe,they mean more than what they are.

Deep down inside, we still miss them, but the world has never stopped for us to reminiscent, not even a second. We know, we still have life to continue. We know, we still have to rebound and get up one day. One day, we still have to open up the door and welcome the outside world again.

We know, that human limits can be explosive. We can do better than we thought if we release the time bomb in us. Therefore, for what our parents have given us, we shall live the most out of it. Since everything happens for a reason, things may not match with our desires and goals at first, but we’ll eventually understand the ultimate reason one day.

What we’re really waiting for is the arrival of that day.

What we’re really battling against is time.

My encounter with Quatchi

I’ve been hanging out at different parts of Downtown very frequently within these 2 weeks. It’s so frequent that I can almost call Downtown as my second home in Vancouver.

Even though I’ve been there for so many times, there are still things which I’ve missed out on my previous outings because abundant events and performances are happening simultaneously. So, it’s kind of like my luck to see which performance I bump into for the day.

Yesterday, I saw Quatchi (also Sumi & Miga) !!!!Quatchi is my favourite mascot among all the Vancouver Olympics mascots. On the first sight, you may think that Quatchi looks so plump, but you’ll regret by having that thought later. Don’t underestimate Quatchi’s ability to skate despite of its size, because it can skate skilfully and shake its butt while skating.


Why do I like Quatchi the most?

Quatchi reminds me of Pooh-cute and cuddly. I’ve always preferred those animated characters which are bigger in size, look fluffy and huggable, as if it makes you feel so warm when you hug them. Come to think of it, that makes sense because people usually like those things which can keep them warm and secured, how can a tiny bear give you that sense of security when you hug it?

I’ll sum up yesterday as a good day with great people.

Thanks to Isis and Wayne, I got a free bear which has the same colour as Quatchi! Yay!

自由

以前，大老公总会为我感到心疼，说我凡是都宁愿牺牲自己，把责任往身上扛，然后再坦然地接受残酷的事实。她佩服我选择接受事实的勇气，而不是沉醉在虚幻的世界里，熏陶在梦幻般的美好。其实我并没那么伟大，那也不算是牺牲自己，只不过我换了个角度去看待每一件事。对我来说，不愿意接受事实而选择自欺欺人的人生才最可悲。心碎也许不是最痛，反而是自己蒙蔽了双眼，选择逃避现实而渐渐失去自我才是最痛苦。对我来说，找回自己与自信心是很漫长的过程，一旦失去了自己，就很难再把它拼凑起来。

以前我不明白，为何我总被麻烦事盯上，为何我总成为箭靶。可是当疑问太多的时候，我开始对这些问题感到厌倦，因为得不到一个明确的答案，所以我学会接受事实，宁愿改变自己的想法，也不再满心期待别人会稍微改变与妥协。我总说服自己说多迁就一点就不会觉得那么委屈。彷若我把大事化小，小事化乌，也许这些问题根本就不存在。如果我不想太多，这些问题也不会存在。

有一些事情，不需要别人明明白白的说出口，自己也知道答案。如果一个人有心要跟你说话，就算不问，他也会自然而然地把一切告诉你。有一些人，并不是不喜欢，只不过当自己太在乎的时候，却渐渐发觉这样的喜欢会成为一种累赘，会绊住他的自由与幸福。想到这，我就选择不烦他了，希望给予他最大的空间去完成他最想做的事情，然后一直鼓励与支持他。不是不爱，只不过我无法给予他想要追求的梦想，那就不要打扰他往梦想前进的决心。

因为人，是很容易改变心意的一群，一旦心情被影响就会开始犹豫，当初的决心就会被击垮。

不是不爱，只不过我也是人，会累会难过会辛苦也会喘不过气的人。与其让别人不断地给自己假希望，让自己有所期待，我宁可从一开始什么都没拥有过，让他去拥抱自己的一片天空。而我，我就会渐渐吹熄心里那微微的期待。

如果我真的喜欢一个人，我不会把那种心意当成是理所当然的习惯，陪伴，或是一种占有。
因为，我从来都没有能力去握紧任何一个人，他不也属于他自己的吗？
如果我真的喜欢一个人，比起我喜欢他的心情，我会更顾虑他真正喜欢与想要的东西。
如果我真的喜欢一个人，我不会让自己的喜欢变成对方的负担，逼他做选择。
因为他也有自己的生活圈子，属于他自己的路。

前几天你跟我说，他都不知道别人担心他的吗？

我想他并不是不知道，只不过当习惯一旦变成了习惯，就很难在一夜之间改变。既然如此，彷若可以放开自己的胸怀去接受他的生活习惯，适时的叮咛与劝告也能让他感受到你的用心。别爱得那么辛苦，就当作你为自己腾出多余的时间与自由去完成自己的事情，好好享受除了他以外的生活。

不是不爱，而是以比较乐观的心情去维持一段感情。我想，给予对方自由是必要的，因为绑住对方的自由只会让彼此之间的信任越来越少。

我不肯定我喜欢一个人的心情是否跟你一样，不过我真的希望，你开心就好，而不是一直围绕在感情上的烦恼而变得焦虑不安。增加烦恼并不是你们在一起的理由。

如果觉得受不了，这里有一双耳朵永远为你开，信箱永远欢迎你的来信。

所以，请继续为彼此加油吧！

I'm a tiny dot on a paper.

I’m not a person with inborn singing talent as my singing skills are considered average, I don’t find a specialty in my voice. I barely have confidence in myself regardless of the compliments I've received.

Last time, I used to think that having a good vocal meant a person’s ability to deliver a song completely, but time has proven me wrong because singing meant much more than that to me nowadays.For now,I'll spend more time thinking how to perfect the high pitch to make it sound richer, meanwhile catching the appropriate time to pause in between verses, or even learning the correct way to breathe when I sing. Those are the blanks I need to fill in.

I’ve been searching for my voice for the past few years, tried out different singing methods to establish a stronger vocal and singing style which suits me the best. I like to sing, but it doesn’t mean that I have to perform on stage all the time. Becoming a celebrity is not my dream, what I’m looking for is enhancing my skills when I know I can do better than this. It’s more about gaining personal confidence to me, it’s more about singing my heart out for my buddies.

Some people asked me to join singing competition, just like how they encouraged me to join beauty pageant contests, but I’m still not convinced even until now. I sure know my strength well enough to understand the fact that I’m not up to that level, so don’t dream so big. Thus, just leave the task for someone else who’s better.

I’m still a tiny dot on a piece of white paper, there’s so much more for me to embrace and conquer.

I did it!!

I bet with my housemate that I will learn Teriyaki Chicken this term. However, I tried on Chicken Katsu Don before getting a hand on the teriyaki chicken recipe.

Here’s my final product.


What I need to improve on my next attempt is to enhance the colour of the fried chicken (to make it look more golden brown), besides controlling the liquidity of the egg so that it’s brown on one side and liquid on the other side.

For those who’re interested in the recipe, please refer to

http://www.tastebook.com/recipes/1076810-Chicken-katsu-don

Probably I’m going to cook for the next birthday boy/girl around me since I think this is one good and practical idea.



Secondly, I just received the V card Winney hubby sent to me 2 weeks ago. I really thought it was a Chinese new year card at first glance due to the super bright red colour.

是，我知道你很尽责，也知道你是大大大老公，更不会忽略你是我的‘合法丈夫’刘伟泥。
谢谢你的那一句，‘你的幸福就是我的快乐’，因为我也是抱着同样的心情去祝福你跟超人。
我很开心能够参与铁人跟超人从相遇，相知，到相爱的列车，
因为你的幸福就是我快乐的泉源。

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy V day!

The unwanted souvenirs.

When I told my friend that I get minor injury weekly on average; she laughed at me and said:

太扯了吧！

It may sound like I’m exaggerating, but I’m seriously not joking (Uso ja nai ne!) .I always get cuts without noticing them and they suddenly appear out of nowhere. There are already 3 ‘accidents’ happened in these 3 months which left their footprints on both of my hands.

Firstly, I cut my right hand while I was packing for my NY trip. My hand slid across the metal bed frame and it started bleeding.


Coming to a new year, I thought things might change to be better. But looks like the trend went on and I burnt my hand while doing experiment in chem lab. My right little finger (pinky) accidentally touched the hot plate which was turned on with full blast.

There you go, my first scar of the year.


And then I was so excited to experiment on Chicken Katsu Don yesterday, but my left ring finger got a ‘stamp’ as a souvenir again. I cut my finger while slicing the brown onion.

I guess this one is the worst because blood was actually dripping and the blood stained on my new bed sheet while I was looking for a plaster.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, my new bed sheet!



The Chicken Katsu Don was a success, but there was undoubtedly a price for it.

Housemate Wei Xin said: You must be missing me when you were cutting the ingredients.
Housemate Eugenia JJ said: Pui Mun arr Pui Mun, stop hurting yourself can annot?

Aww, I don’t want to be physically injured if I could. There are enough footprints left all over my body parts already. It’s my bad for being so careless and causes my hands to be so ugly now. Can anyone please introduce me some scar-removing products/methods to get rid of these scars?

So, my mission 1 in 2010 will be : Be more careful and stop hurting myself already.

A month of new year and love.

2010 is the first time I celebrate Chinese New Year in Vancouver. It’s not because that I’m new here, but we are all fortunate enough to be blessed with a break since CNY coincides with Olympic break. If not, I guess it won’t be possible for me to dig out some time from mugging since mid-term’s peak session usually occurs at this time of the year.

To spend the break “wisely”, I played really hard for the first few days, till I’m so so sleep deprived. But hey, isn’t that’s how CNY supposed to be?

I've done almost everything which comes to my mind for CNY celebration, CNY dinner, card games, and not to forget the yummylicious foods and drinks. The only distinct difference was that I spent Chor Yat (First day of CNY) with my friends, instead of my family. I think, February is a good start to a year of prosperity, health, and peace, and wash down those miserable and awkward pauses in these few months.

Happy New Year!



This year’s CNY also coincides with Valentine’s day. A little different from last year, my friends and I, all the single ladies went out to join the Olympics fever. Lots of events and live performances are available in conjunction with the winter Olympics,which is really worth taking some time out to visit several places and snap pictures "unstoppably".We had a fun day out, while being amazed by the currently doubled Vancouver’s population due to the insane inflow of tourists. I’m still amazed by the fact that I had to queue just to enter the Canada Line’s station in Downtown last night.

My friend gave me Valentine’s chocolate this year.I realized that there's a significant difference on Valentine’s in Vancouver as compared to my time in Malaysia-I go out with my friends on Valentine’s every year, and we treat it as a normal outing day, but we’ll still buy Valentine’s chocolate to each other. It may sound a little peculiar, but I always enjoy the comfort when I’m out with my close friends truthfully.

Speaking about Valentine’s , I guess you guys will be so bored of listening to my relationship status update because it can hardly change, to an extent that I’m also bored to mention it already. Perhaps, what you guys want to hear the most from me would be my blissful and happy life.

And I have that in my pocket now.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Olympic Torch Relay in UBC!!

Halo people!

I’m back again after dealing with 3 midterms. So, I’m pretty much anticipating for the long-awaited Vancouver Winter Olympic Games 2010.

And guess what, the torch finally arrived UBC today! Tell me, how could I miss it?

OF COURSE NOT, NO WAY!!
CANNOT, TAK BOLEH, BU KE YI, NG HO YI,NG DEK, DAME DESU.

Although it was pouring rain, but nothing could stop me.So my friends and I started waiting since 3+ p.m, all the way till 6 p.m when the athlete finally began his journey and ran the torch along the torch relay route which was planned prior to this.



The wait was definitely worth it because I've never seen a huge crowd at UBC after 7p.m. It sparked up some lights on a Thursday night in UBC.


Living in Vancouver for almost two years, I feel like I’m on the same boat as the Canadians for the first time for being excited over the Olympic games. Frankly, I don’t watch winter games at all, but I’m just feeling special that I’m in the host country for an Olympic event for the first time, and probably the only time in my life. The transformation of Vancouver in terms of infrastructure(especially public transportation) is witnessed, and these changes keep knocking my head that something big and exciting is going to happen in the city.It makes me start wondering how spectacular is it going to be after throwing chunks of money on it.



I even applied for the volunteering job, partly to gain the rare experience, besides being obsessed with the superb nice turquoise jacket the volunteers get. =( Unfortunately I was not offered a job.



The uniforms are so nice okay!! Those volunteers who wander around the campus everyday make me feel so jealous.


I got some freebies today, although there’re of not much use, I was just too excited to join in the crowd.

My biggest reward of the day was the tattoo on my left hand!!!And it was totally free.


Reading break will start from 13th February. One thing I’m sure of is that I’ll turn it into an eventful Olympic break and update you guys on Olympics as much as possible. I’ll ensure that my 2-week break will not go into waste and every second of it is filled with air of excitement, contentment, and happiness.


So, stay tuned guys!

Flumpool- 残像

作词：山村隆太
作曲：阪井一生
翻译：时雨

风に吹かれなびく髪
『随风飘动的发丝』
柔らかな阳射し あの日と同じ景色
『温柔的阳光 景色如昔』
全ては心次第だよと 笑ってた君だけ消して
『销声匿迹的唯独是 曾笑语“心诚则灵”的你』

この身を削ってもと想える人さえも
『即便那曾执意为其刻骨铭心之人』
いつかは逢えなくなる それが人生と
『也终有天无缘再会 这便是人生』
割り切れるものなど
『但是这般彻悟』
想い出の中の何処かにも书いてないよ
『却丝毫未曾 记载于回忆里』

爱してる 苦しくて 泣きたくて 24时间
『热恋 苦痛 泪上心头 24小时』
今まだ消せない 君が消えない この胸に
『而今挥之不去 你的身影挥之不去 在我心里』

溢れ出す 想いはもう青空に呑み込まれて
『汹涌的 思念已然被这苍穹所吞噬』
届くことも无く 今は无い星のように 彷徨う残像(ひかり)
『触碰不到 那宛若此刻已难觅见的星辰般 彷徨的残像』

本当に大切なモノを失った时に
『在失去了真正挚爱之时』
人はもう生きられないと感じるけど
『人们总感生存已无意义』
それでもやっぱり大切なモノの无い日々を 人は生きれないんだよ
『真的 在没有挚爱的时光中 人已无生存的意义』

仆らは谁かを爱することで确かめてる
『我们 凭借着爱上谁去确认些什么』
鼓动が叫んでる 此処にいると叫んでる
『心的律动在呐喊 呐喊着 我就在此』

爱してる 爱してる
『热恋着你 疯狂地热恋着你』
爱しすぎた あの季节で
『太过于热恋的那个季节里』
この胸焦がすほど 梦の中で闻いていた
『心急如焚般 在梦中一直倾听（你的爱语）』
溢れ出す 想いはもう青空に呑み込まれて
『汹涌的 思念已然被这苍穹所吞噬』
届くことも无く 今は无い星のように 彷徨う残像(ひかり)
『触碰不到 那宛若此刻已难觅见的星辰般 彷徨的残像』

(Lyrics from Baidu.com)

Just when you ask me : Why are you so free?

Hello folks!

I’ve done a handful of things for the past few weeks, when you guys were asking me : “Why are you so free and go online everyday?”

I knew I was beyond that, I just didn’t have enough time to show you guys what was happening at that time.


• Watched a basketball match with my housemate.
• Volunteered for Malaysia & Singapore Night 2010.
• Went for MUG Leader interview for Imagine day. (Imagine day is
the orientation day for UBC’s first year students.)
• Did my first ever marketing research study in UBC. ( It was just a short
survey on testing food samples and I got paid for it)
• Few quizzes and assignments come and go.
• Skyped with old friends.
• Getting excited over Vancouver Winter Olympics 2010.
• I finally got to know my classmate who has been in the same class with me
for 3 courses, omg.



Last month was quite a difficult month for me, I was shot with a few disappointing news and suffered from Insomnia as well as white hair. I tried to get a hand on things and re-manage my life in a way that's healthy to me and harmless to the others. Also, I took my friends’ advises and looked out for a focus, and occupied myself with a truckload of tasks. I hope they’ll chase away my qualm and frustration. Just when I thought I lost something again, I was actually at the beginning of starting something new.

Maybe February will be a better month for me.

Cheers February !

Boracay!!

The video was sweet with splendid scenery. In fact, I spent more time watching the scenery apart from looking at the lovely couple. Courtesy to them, I'm exposed to one more beautiful island on earth- Boracay Island in Phillipine.


(Credits to: Letstravelphillipines.com)

I guess it's time for me to go on an island trip, to dip my feet in the deep blue sea and enjoy the kiss by the sun. Walking on the beach barefooted and breathing in the cool breeze of air, and wrap up my trip with a scrumptious seafood dinner! I'm so mesmerized even by just imagining it now!!!

The Kenns say cheese!

So another day my housemate and I suddenly touched on the topic of pregnancy and having kids.Both of us think that having kids is a big responsibility, so we may not be able to handle it. Being a typical future economist, she started talking about the cost of nurturing a child.

The funny part was that she was standing in front of the door and talked so seriously while standing there for 10 minutes. Come to think of it, we’ve done all sorts of crazy things before, can even stand and sing for a song, and then get back to assignments, so this random yet in-depth conversation isn’t something unusual.

Anyway, back to the topic. I think kids are wonderful creatures and gifts by God, and I see the difference between a family before having a child and after a child is present in the family. Well, at least in my family, the change is great and joyous. Everyone feels so blessed and happy with their presence, their parents are happy, and grandpa and grandma always talk about their grandsons, the yi-yi’s can’t stop buying and thinking of new toys and clothes for the twins and also the little niece.

However,I can’t foresee myself having kids in future, I doubt if I’d ever marry in the first place. The presence of my nephews and niece inject some pure happiness and innocence into my life, they complete my life as an aunt. Therefore, I'm grateful with what I have for now and I truly enjoy the feeling, because I may not have the same experience in future, as they’ll grow up one day and start venturing for their life adventure.

Happy New Year , Big Kenn and Small Kenn. Your popo said you guys are getting cheekier, Big Kenn doesn’t want to thank popo for making milk for him huh. Naughty!

Small Kenn enjoys swimming a lot, and we can always bring him for swimming nowadays since there’s a pool in our residential area. Whee!

And Kenns’ mama , do take care of yourself and never stop believing in miracles too, because I chose to believe that the day will finally come. He’s always the tough and good boy in my heart.