2010 is the year (12)

2010 is the year, I truly feel satisfied with my current life.

Achieving a balance in life is like hitting another milestone in life, it will only go for the better, not worse. I've always wanted to be grateful for every single day that I’m blessed with, every second spent with my family, every opportunity to witness the growth of my niece and nephews, every learning opportunity in Vancouver, as well as the yearly summer vacations with BFFs. I hoped I could truly feel the gratitude of waking up every morning and inhaling the gratitude for being alive. Because staying alive is a God’s gift, not merely a personal choice.

I spent months and months of self-discovery to accomplish this stage in my life, I worked very hard to improve the quality of my life psychologically. I read, travel, mingle with various friends, learn new languages, earn and save money, date, and everything else I could do in making my life exuberant. What I needed was just a kick to start-off these things and keep up with my motivation, and I’m glad that I found it this year. To me, no one deserves to be in the worst state of life, but one thing we need to accept about life is that life quality will only come after a significant amount of self effort. One must learn to rescue himself and accept the truth from every fall, if one doesn't find the rope to climb out of the hole, he can only be trapped forever.

At this moment of life, I truly understand the meaning of giving and taking, and I don’t force myself to forget about those stressful events but I allow time to wash them away. I’ve also learned to accept the beautiful imperfections which complement the cycle of my life, that it’s normal if things don’t go your way sometimes, just deal with them and move on to the next stage.I understand the consequences of every move I make, so much that the realm of my life involves a lot of decisions making. If I don’t let go some, I won’t gain more from the other aspects. Like my sis says, I too, began to see the half-filled glass instead of focusing on the other half which was empty. I thank God for all the angels sent to me and most importantly, the angel that lies in me all the time, to help me through when I felt completely miserable in my life. I thank myself for slapping myself for reality, to remind myself that it’s time to wake up for another new start of the day. Without the support and self-perseverance, I had no idea where in the jungle would I be in, for now.

2010 is a fruitful year to me. Thank God, thanks to everyone, thanks to myself, I felt loved and there I persevered.

2010 is the year (11)

2010 is the year, I’ve taken an adventure to find out more about myself.

I gave a deep thought about my future in every aspect and the life which suits me the best. Living independently these few years has undoubtedly brought about several changes in me. The most significant change should be the adoption of self-sufficiency in handling my daily life efficiently. A lot of things become simpler instantly when I spend more time to scrutinize it before doing it myself, as I will only have myself to blame with for any mistakes instead of losing my temper on other people.I’m tired to even initiate the cycle of getting mad and disappointed at anybody,and I feel calmer with less expectation from other people.

Happiness, entertainment, blissfulness can be self-created most of the time, it is purely a state of contentment with the power to trigger the positive emotions in you.Loneliness seldom comes across my mind because I perceive it as a self-hindrance to see life from another beautiful and hopeful perspective. My thoughts have definitely made me less eager in wanting somebody to stay beside me in sharing my ups and downs, as I disregard the series of temporary misfortunes in my life by keeping up with a busy life while sharing my happiness with anybody along the way.

When I become the major decision maker in my life, I can’t be too fear for what to come, neither can I choose for what to surprise me, so I’ve accepted my destiny and opt for a simple and self-sufficient life. To me, disappointments often come from unfulfilled expectations by the others, thus I’ve learned to fill in the blank and work my way out to make things happen, instead of losing my youth waiting and demanding more from the others.

Lookout and spend more time to understand yourself! You will soon discover the infinite flow of strength within you, far more than enough to carry on with your life when you choose to unleash it.

2010 is the year (10)

2010 is the year, my third sister is engaged to her soul mate in life.

This should be the greatest thing I’ve heard this year, because J resembles a huge part of my life since I was young. We were always in pairs since young, she was like Jerry and I was like Tom in the cartoon, she always made fun of me just to make me cry. To her, making me cry simply made up her day. Having said that, she was surely one good Jerry because she helped me out when I hurt my hand from a camp and couldn’t write for weeks. She was the one who helped me to take notes so that I could catch up with my studies. See, Jerry would still rescue Tom in times of hardships!

Moving on to the later stage in life, we’ve integrated our relationship into a more mature one as we begin to open up ourselves to a wide range of discussion topics. She is always optimistic and gives me positive feedback and encouragement to guide me through every misery in life. She’s also my good supper buddy because two of us always make up a spontaneous mamak or pasar malam session.

I feel really happy to see her moving on to the next milestone in her life soon.Thank you for making me in believing that, true love has not ceased to extinction. It may not fall on everyone, but witnessing one from the people I treasure the most is definitely a serendipity in life.

2010 is the year (9)

2010 is the year, I gained quite a bit from volunteering experiences.

Volunteering is an annual thing to me since high school.Apart from fulfilling the course requirement, I feel more engaged to the society that way through contributing to the community that I’m living.

I had very special volunteering experiences this year, they ranged from front desk task to hands on farming experience. The latter experience seriously exposed me to the brutal in farming especially under harsh conditions. Although my ears and hands seemed to be detaching from my body after so many hours of farming, I never failed to learn more about urban farming, specifically rooftop garden. I’ve never thought of the possibility of establishing a small farm in a limited space and it manages to benefit more people by distributing the food to non-profitable local community to help more needy children and women. I feel inspired in how we can connect people through food and help them by providing them the basic needs in life.

Also, never in my life had I seen so many long and fat earthworms slithering in the soil before and I felt like they were dancing in front of me, the evil soil destructor who did that to weed out the plastic mulch.I felt gross on the first day and tried to avoid these little creatures as much as I could. Then, my brain system activated itself to adapt the image of these big fat earthworms until I got used to it immediately.On the third day, I scooped them to another uninterrupted soil space to prevent from chopping them into pieces before I weed, instead of avoiding them.

Practical learning is always fun and inspiring, and I love myself in understanding the priceless significance of taking and giving back to the society, in which giving is the root of all society love and care.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give” -Winston Churchill

2010 is the year (8)

2010 is the year, we had our first BFFs road trip in 10 years. I’ve spent almost half of my life with these lovely people, and our friendship never fades off with time.

I lost a few precious friendships this year, until the extent when it becomes a question to me, what is the value of our friendship to them? And then I was reminded one day, that the only constant thing in life is change, if our friendship no longer works between us, that’s the time to let it flow because no one can hold a grip at it anymore. That’s the time I should wish them good luck in their life, for the last time on mouth, for eternity on heart.

在人海的沧海桑田, 已是定律不可改变,怀疑就此和你挥手,相识不再见

2010, I’ve re-evaluated every friendship bond I've made and amended my philosophy in building up friendships. Let go of the people who no longer appreciate you, you don't deserve the pain and they don't deserve your kindness. Cherish the goldies friends who are always supporting you back to back, you deserve some true friends and they deserve more of your attention.

Dear BFFs,

谢谢你们让我明白，真挚的友情不需要太多的承诺，因为承诺已一一被兑换成行动。

未来的10年，20年，30年，一辈子，希望我们还是可以一起肩并肩共同渡过。

2010 is the year (7)

2010 is the year, I played small fireworks in Vancouver for the first time.

Fireworks are like the lights in the dark, they look fancy, fabulous and spark up the sky gracefully. They indulge in their whole world like the sky is all theirs, for a moment. Watching fireworks performance is an annual thing to me, as I watch it once a year at minimum, usually on new year eve. To me, the fanciness of fireworks pulls off the first second of another new year wonderfully.

I’ve no idea since when, I’ve been celebrating my new year eve all over places and every new year eve brings me a new experience, with different event, venue, and people around me. I enjoy every bit of it as much as possible, considering that it may be my first and/or last time celebrating in the same place, with the same bunch of people. So, enjoying every moment of the last 24 hours of the year gives me a refreshing feeling to anticipate for a new year to come.

Fireworks are always mesmerizing despite their quick disappearance. I've learned to enjoy the moment and breathe out the rest, as the opportunity to witness a beautiful event in life is still something worth to be grateful for.

2010 is the year (6)

2010 is the year, I have a better understanding on the up and downside of life.

One of my close friends was recovered from Hodgkin's lymphoma earlier this year, and she could finally liberate herself from the various scanning processes and chemotherapies she had to bear with last year. It was nothing more than a great sense of relief when I received this news because her courage and determination to go through this tough stage at a young age was tremendous in order to put up with the pain and prolonged mental stress. She always admires friends like me who gets an opportunity to continue with my tertiary education at overseas as it would be a lifetime inspiring experience.

But friend, you are much more amazing and courageous than anyone of us here, you have a better grasp on life after the near-to-death experience. You truly earn my salute and appreciate on your perseverance to defend the tough battle, which may be a positive turnover for you to realize the never-ending support from your family, and lastly, the subconscious strength in you. You are one inspiring heroin to me.

2010 is also the year, my dad is diagnosed as an early cancer patient. This striking news came to me a week before my birthday, and it is beyond the pain of words of mouth to hear about this, especially when I am not beside him to gear my full support for him.At one point, I truly feel the melancholy side of life in giving and taking things, so much that I can collapse in front of anybody once I hear the word ‘dad’.

But I’m the hero’s daughter, sinking myself in a deep depression for a prolonged period is my last resort. Therefore, I am doing my best in every part of my life, because I want him to share my proudest moment with me, in hope that he'll breathe in the pride, love, and most importantly,strength within it.

Please get well soon, my hero, and give me a chance to retreat you as much as I can.

2010 is the year (5)

2010 is the year I had my first clubbing experience in Vancouver.

My first clubbing experience did not recall some good memories, mainly due to 2 unpleasant events that took place on that night. The first incident happened on me, as I got scratched from the back when a person fell down from the stage (I was kinda near her). Let alone the molesting part, my friend also lost her phone in the club, so it was indeed a long and unforgettable night for all of us, I would say.

Ya I know I’m lucky, thank you.After all, who can be any luckier than me to have all these things happened on the same night.

I’m not a club person, and I can reassure myself that I will not be one after that night. Perhaps, the club can’t handle me, and I can’t handle the club either.

2010 is the year (4)

2010 is the year I received a lot of kiddie stuff from my friends.

Personally, I don’t mind using kiddie things at all so long that they are nice/cute and practical, best if it is Pooh-related! Many friends treat me like a kid who’ll never grow up because of my 'innocent' look according to them, and they conclude that my smile is a trademark. However, they also appreciate my understanding and patience when it comes to complete silent moments between two people, in which I feel truly honoured because accompaniment is a way to express my support and concern to them.

All these while, I’ve adopted an important attitude in my life, which is to play hard and do the right thing. Doing the right thing doesn't mean that one has to hit perfection in every achievement, but one will need to pay for the consequences in every decision one makes. The lifetime goal I've possessed is to play while I still can, but do be serious when I have to.I've way past the adolescent stage and there's no longer any excuse for the mistakes I make at my age.

In 2010, I've learned to be more responsible in everything I do, while continuing to kid in my own way.

p/s: I’m not that innocent anyway.=P

2010 is the year (3)

2010 is the year I made friend with Chrona aka Doggy Kuo Kuo and spent a great summer with her. Doggy Kuo Kuo is a fortunate dog, she gets to go to a lot of places and being pampered by everyone.She's also very cheeky with a good taste in eating, because her highest record was eating up 9 imported pineapple pies from Taiwan out of a dozen.

That…has left Wayne with 3 pineapple pies as his souvenir.

Anyway, doggy Kuo Kuo is in New York now, and I do miss her as much as I miss Pluto at home, because she is my first dog friend in Vancouver. I just have a thing for dogs.

Most importantly,I’ve learnt a lesson from Chrona: dogs are the best heater on earth, as hugging a dog while watching night movies is really the warmest thing to do when the weather outside is chilly.

2010 is the year (2)

2010 is the year Vancouver hosted Winter Olympics.

I saw the transformation of Vancouver, from a peaceful and relaxing place into a vibrant and merry city with tons of visitors hustling in and out of Downtown. I was excited with the variety changes happening in the city, but there was also another side of me who wished to bring Vancouver back to its origin. I don’t need a Times Square in here, all I need is just a less-crowded Stanley park, a place for real breeze of mind.To me, peace and nature are still 2 elements which bring out the beauty of Vancouver.

Feb 2010, you gotta be here. I'm glad that I did.

2010 is the year (1)

2010 is the year I watched the first basketball match in my life.

I was reminded on the only basketball match I participated in my life during elementary school, and I can never forget the adrenaline rush which gushed through my bloodstream for the entire match. Although the match brought me a trophy,what matters the most to me was the 5 seconds of instant self-realization while watching the trophy. I had a better grasp about myself, that I am never a good rival if I were to be compared to somebody else.

My life is never a competition with anybody, but a series of magnificent self-accomplishments until I reach the final destination on earth- death.

Vegosaurs for change 3-month anniversary

As I told you guys earlier, I’m on my way turning into a partial vegetarian for many reasons, mainly environmental factor. It has been almost 3 months for me to take 1-2 days off meat products weekly and everything is progressing smoothly so far.I’m very glad to see my life going green in many aspects.Agedashi tofu, bok choy, carrots, and bean sprouts are becoming my new good friends for never failing to make a good vegetarian meal.I also cook more often at home nowadays in hope to cut down plastic bags and containers I'll contribute in packing up outside food.There are indeed many reasons for me to cook apart from dealing with the hunger as I sometimes cook out of pleasure, especially when I feel like trying out some recipes to see if I succeed. I actually feel accomplished when the dish turns out to be scrumptious and pleasant.

Small steps towards a huge difference, I can do it!

On a side note,life hasn't been very great recently.This is the time when I feel disappointed in humanity in general, so I keep myself to the silence of heart, simply because I don’t feel like having too many emotions at the moment. Also, I’m starting to see myself skipping meals again, thus I’m stabilizing my emotions as much as I can just before the eating disorder experience surfaces for the second time. I just don’t want to lose another 6 kgs due to unhealthy reasons anymore.

I’m slightly bummed out at the moment, as many things are challenging my EQ simultaneously, both in workload and people. So, instead of keeping these unhappy events, I try to let them drain and take their own journey. Also, I begin to believe that heart is the true friend I can call out anytime. Maybe, I’m the best friend for myself.