Girls are born to be complicated

A lot of people think that girls are complicated. I can understand the perception but I can also explain this phenomenon with valid reasons- a girl’s life is born to be complicated. Apart from the busy daily tasks, we have to pamper our skin like a princess to ensure that it doesn’t upset us by bringing in a colony of bee hives.

How not to be complicated when a girl’s life involves so many small steps from the inner to outer shelf?

Let’s start from the skin! We have to select the suitable set of skincare products to keep our skin smooth all the time. It’s not as easy as using just one bottle of cleansing foam to achieve the desired skin texture, there are also other products like toner, moisturizer, eye gel, day cream, night cream etcetera which enhance our skin performance. Every product has a specialized effect to the skin and that’s why we have to select the right ones according to our skin sensitivity as well as age.

That’s the first complicated stage.

And then we move on to mask!

I have to say, although doing mask is generally beneficial to your skin, keeping an eye on the ingredients to prevent allergic reactions is important. Another important factor in considering the suitable mask to be used is the weather. Since I came to Vancouver, I usually buy hydrating masks to give my face a hydro boost, so that it won’t dry off as easily.

Keeping your skin clean and clear requires a great extent of determination. You have to keep it as a consistent habit and do mask at least once a week, although 2 times weekly will be ideal. This is extremely important for people who are not going to monthly facial treatment, just like me since mask is the only extra treatment I put on my face. If you’re a lazy bum, I suggest you to use night mask in which you can put it on overnight and then either wash off ( for peel off type) or dispose the mask sheet the next day morning.Besides doing mask weekly, I also use black head remover to get rid of the tiny black sesames on my nose.

This is the second complicated stage. And I haven’t even touched on the outer parts like cosmetic, hair treatment and clothing part yet.

Most of us are consistently living under pressure to stay in a good shape in and out, but I take this pressure as a positive one and set out a strict control to reach the balance in life. I don’t really like to complaint about myself because I much prefer allocating the same amount of time to upgrade myself instead. I also dislike making remarks on others appearance either, simple because I think that words like ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’ are powerful enough to ruin their lives if these people happen to be pessimistic and have ever heard these remarks, since I feel that many suicides derive from society pressure. Hence, things are meant to be kept silent sometimes.

In a nutshell, I just want to give an idea to the others out there who judge girls based on their appearance but never really spend enough time to understand a girl’s effort to keep herself at the best in and out. If a girl doesn’t complain about your appearance and personality, why should you find the trouble then? Inner and outer beauty don’t come by without a reason, as every pretty girl has surely invested quite a bit in herself first before she can constantly shine out. It’s not as easy as it may seem, because it requires consistent effort, money, and time. That’s why I don’t see a reason of being jealous with pretty girls, because they are willing to pay the price for the deal. As long as they are taking the right path
towards being beautiful, why not give it a shot?

Being beautiful is really affordable and achievable, don’t you think so?

Don't look back in anger

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd never been
But all the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away

So I start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows, if it's night or day.
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock 'n Roll band
and throw it all away

Gonna start the revolution from my bed
'Cos you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside cos summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as she's walking on by.
My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late and she's walking on by
My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger
I heard you say

At least not today.

Foods for thoughts

Leading a healthy lifestyle doesn’t really require high expenditure and a dull menu all the time, as we can play around with the fresh food resources so long that we have the passion to begin with. Therefore, I started making my own smoothie a few days ago and absolutely fell in love with it. Banana, baby carrots, milk and some ice cubes are all that I need and a cup of banana and carrot smoothie is ready to go in 5 minutes once everything is blended together. I tried halving the milk and replaced it by strawberry yoghurt on my next attempt and it tasted good too, so just go ahead inventing your own recipe until you find the combination that you like. It’s like a morning energy boost to me since my stomach feels absolutely satisfied after drinking a cup of it.

Despite of the program that I’m enrolling in university, I’m not an arrogant person when it comes to giving some food recommendations from a nutritional point of view. I seldom bring food issues to the table simply because I think everybody is responsible of their own dietary style. If you are health conscious, then you would want to know more about the proper foods to be consumed to lead you to a healthy lifestyle without needing anyone to motivate you to do so. If you’re simply not a person in that group, then there’s nothing I can say to give you that push to join in the line, because you will most probably ignore it no matter how much time I spend to persuade you. Also, I don’t want to upset myself by listening to how some people prioritize their food preference and neglect everything else, especially the environment. To me,they will only start to realize the real problems embedded within the entire food system when some real disastrous outbreaks kick in, which is quite disappointing when I come to think about it. That’s why I only give my two cents when people are genuinely interested in food issues so that we can work on it together in hope to raise public awareness based on pure scientific evidences.

Anyway I’m currently working on a food project about rooftop garden and I’m doing 12 hours of gardening as my community service learning. I’ve done 8 hours of farming at 2 different urban gardens so far and the take-home message is

“FARMING IS REALLY TOUGH, SO PLEASE APPRECIATE YOUR FOODS!!!!!”*10 fingers pointing at myself*

I will cherish my food more from now on and do my best to no waste food in future.

Oh la la my colourful life

I’m a colourful person, I enjoy using cute little things because they turn my life into a colourful one. My obsession in colourful things has long been in me since I’ve loved decorating my room with pretty cute things since young. I love exploring creative ideas and art crafting, which is why I do window shopping myself sometimes just to look out for those cute things to satisfy my sight. If there were so many great minds in this world, then there should be abundant different ideas out there as well.

Colourful things simply make my day.



I’ve received quite a bit of positive feedbacks on my fringe and I really thank you guys for being so humble to me. Some friends encourage me to join freelance modelling while the others have asked me to model for them but I hesitate a lot since I can’t pose naturally in front of people, I realized I only work best with myself and my camera. Although curiosity of trying something new strikes me for a while, I still find it difficult to overcome the stage fright as I'm not used to presenting the best of myself in front of everyone else yet.It’s just like my singing as well, nobody knows this side of me until they have been along with me for a while, as I usually present my best to my BFFs.

Also because of the fringe, almost 60% of my friends claim that I’ve Korean look while the other 40% think that I’m more to Japanese. It changes my life slightly when a friend starts texting me in simple Japanese and he even wrote my birthday card in Japanese. I’m so glad that I can ‘pretend’ a bit since I’m able to understand most of the conversations besides being excited for the fact that I can finally put my Jap into use. Therefore, I should really go further for my Jap course before I start to age =_=, or I should say, before my memory starts to worsen.

Besides saving money, I’ve also started picking up some Korean language in preparation for my upcoming Korea trip with my lovely Seoulmates. I’m really putting an effort to learn both languages by watching tonnes of J&K dramas, sometimes I even re-watch the scene for a few times just to catch a word or phrase.

Anyway I like my fringe too although it means more work (have to cut my fringe almost every week now).I’m still coping well with this lifestyle,however the day I get bored of cutting my fringe will be the day I surprise you with my ‘10 seconds haircut’ again.

Halloween, I'm here!

Hanging out with friends 3 days in a row was somehow an achievable luxury to me despite of the hectic schedule as I spent my last few days of October celebrating Halloween as well as friend’s birthday. Also because of the frequent outings,I broke my own records in many ways for 3 consecutive days.

Firstly, WX dear brought me to her dance party and that’s how I got the chance to dress up in Halloween this year. I didn’t want to splurge on Halloween costume so I put on the Yukatta my host mama gave me during student exchange trip in Japan last time. I must say, dancing Waltz and Cha Cha in Yukatta seemed to be really awkward because many girls wore a dress instead. Can you imagine a yukatta floating around the sea of dresses? That was exactly how I felt.

However, I had the chance to learn some simple dance steps courtesy to dear dear and overcame the embarrassment slowly. I couldn’t even believe myself dancing for the whole night when I haven't danced for at least 6 years.



I then went to a theme park for the first time in Vancouver and getting high with all the screaming and haunted environment. Going to theme park and playing under the rain enhanced the Halloween craziness even further, because our jeans and shoes were soaking wet. If I could describe the feeling to you, it would be like sitting on a roller coaster with water dripping all over your face and melting your eyeliner. I wasn’t sure which one was nastier in the end. Well at least they didn’t close down the park, if not my 30 bucks would have washed down the sink already.

The coolest thing I found in the park was definitely this monster that we took picture with. He was stationary for a very long time and no one actually noticed this real flesh until he jumped out of the stool and started scaring people around. He somehow reminded me of the wax museum prank by Edison Chen in one of the videos I watched earlier since he prank people in the exact same way. I swear it was hilarious because he pretended as a wax figure and randomly scared visitors who were taking picture with him.



Wrapped up my Sunday afternoon with Afsan’s birthday and we went for a good movie together. It has been such a long time since we last hung out together and it was great catching up with them outside class again. Sometimes, I’m grateful for the small faculty I’m in because that brings us closer together. I don’t understand the greatness of it until the beginning of my third academic year, when I can recognize most of my classmates by face. I may not know all of them personally but we definitely went through several courses together. Learning something in a familiar environment with some other passionate people is somewhat comfortable to me.

Another thing I love about LFS has to be the Agora café, where you can pick up a hot chocolate in a mug for only 1 buck. The best part is not just about the price, but it’s how homely I feel carrying the mug to my lectures and return it back to the café once I’m done with it. It’s a way our faculty promotes sustainability,and honesty in a way, since there is a possibility for those mugs to disappear at anytime.

Of course, fun outings and huge expenditure usually come in a package, so I guess I shall start eating grass for the following days to compensate with that. =_=

Happy 21st!

看着蛋糕上插上的21蜡烛，才真正感受到自己已是21岁大人的那份真实感。仔细回想起2010的点点滴滴，不难发现2010对我来说，是很艰辛的一年。今年走遍了每个人生中的低潮，每一波的难关都好像再重复地告诉着我，这，也许就是生活的意义。

在人际关系上，我开始变得更宽容，我选择把有杀伤力的事情都通通忘掉，只求别人给我一些歇息的空间。遇到不想见到的人，我学会了已微笑带过一切，也已微笑结束一切。人若要变得更圆滑，就必须不断地挑战自己的忍耐力才能够把无关紧要的话都不放在心上，只有真正的不在乎，才会刀枪不入。人若要变得更坚强，就必须经历更多才能够锻炼出那粒坚固无比的内丹。



在亲情与友情的经营上，我学会了付出与行动。一直以来，我都很珍惜与家人与BFF的点点滴滴，因为他们就是我内心真正的归属。今年暑假的所有时间都几乎跟他们一起过的，无论是与小侄女侄子的卡通时间，一家人的聚餐，帮狗狗洗澡抓狗骚，BFF的饮茶聚会与旅行，我都很珍惜，因为知道美好的光阴虽美好但也很短暂，所以一直都很珍惜。

幸福是属于懂得包容与付出的人，所以拥有了就必须要双倍地付出，才能够得到持之以恒的幸福。每个人都需要别人的关心，哪怕只是简单的一句谢谢，对不起，好好照顾自己，这些细小的关怀都会无形间拉近彼此的关系，所以绝对不要因为事小而不为。我重新评价了与一些朋友之间的友情，开始把他们归类在生命中不同的区域里，也开始把时间都花在不同的朋友身上，希望能借此扩展自己的视野。对于真挚的友情，我多了一份熟悉，学会更踏实地对自己在乎的人付出更多，并珍惜每一次的美好。对于那些说不上很珍贵的友情，我少了一份期待，就让它们静静地摆放在原地就好。



在学业上，我花了很多时间去尽最大的努力，只希望我的付出能得到好的回报。我开始了解，任何事情都会随着时间而改变，但学业却是能以努力换取的保障，能以努力增加知识的版图，所以我开始为将来做好准备，好好地充实自己。今年，我也花了很多时间用心地经营自己，并努力地达到自己心目中的要求。我相信自我经营才是最聪明的投资，因为只有真正了解自己的需要与兴趣才能更明确地去追求自己的目标。

至于感情，一直都是我内心最弱的一块。今年狠狠地在感情世界里摔了一跤，勉强自己去接受那些难以置信的事实。我不知道该怎么去定义自己的爱情观，也不知该怎么诉说自己的经历，我只是觉得，感情一直都不是单凭付出与等待就能够开花结果的事情。曾经有一段日子，我每天都望着大海，看着日落，对于可以不可以，该与不该做的事情挣扎了很久。默默承受了很久，到最后才发现自己还真的是傻的彻底，因为自己一直都只是他的第二顺位，所以就连生气的资格也没有。我只是让自己有所期待，让自己觉得暧昧是希望，错觉是机会。当时真的觉得自己很卑微，卑微地忽略了可以令自己更开心的生活，卑微地委屈就全，却又无法捍卫自己的感情。我不再勉强自己继续待在他世界的边缘，所以我选择祝福，也选择离开，因为这是我唯一能给的宽容。感情，对我来说，永远都会是一个难题，也许有一天，我会鼓起勇气再去解开这难题。



自己的难题,自己解决,
自己的心情,自己整理,
自己的疼痛,自己埋葬

我能做的，就是咬着牙自己对自己说,坚持下去。

今年是我第一次在温哥华真正庆祝生日，真心感受到了身边每一位朋友的祝福。有时候，我觉得每一次的机会都得来不易，有些人会是过客，有些人会是普通朋友，有些人会永远留在你身边，只是无论结果是如何，我依然觉得，我是幸福的孩子。

今年最大的收获，就是我把一个全新的自己送给了自己。希望这一个不断蜕变的自己能够一直坚持下去，享受每一份美好，熬过每一个难关。

今年生日唯一的愿望是为爸而许的，希望他能赶快好起来。

其他的，都显得不重要了。

良药苦口

So after struggling with myself for 1.5 months, I finally gave in and visited doctor last week to cure my illness. I was very nervous before seeing the doctor since it was my first time turning to a traditional Chinese practitioner. I’m just not convinced that pills may help to improve my appetite in this case.

The first thing the doctor did was to check on my pulse before asking me anything. He continued asking me about a few symptoms to have better understanding on my health condition. Then, he told me something I've never expected to have happened to me.He said, my appetite was strongly influenced by my emotions. He continued saying that the unstable emotions in me may be due to overly stressing myself or depression since these negative emotions will affect my liver and further influences my appetite. I was speechless for a while because the illness started way before the trough of my life. However, I should be convinced by his professionalism since I came all the way to him just to give it a try.

He got me into thinking what is my actual problem? Although I get my moody and stressed up at times,I never abuse my stomach in such a way before, especially when I’m a person who's studying about food. Since I can't think of a reason, I heed to his advice and tried to free myself from stress as much as possible.

He also gave me 4 packets of Chinese herbs which I had no idea what the ingredients were and asked me to drink it twice a day for 4 days. I’ve been drinking it for 3 days so far and it definitely tastes awful, so awful that the scent of kills and spreads around the whole unit up to 3rd floor.

Even the appearance itself looks unpleasant.




At the same time, I’m also consuming Antacid-Calcium supplement my friend got me. I don’t know which method actually works but I eventually find myself better at adapting slightly-oily and tasty food again. Thank God I could at least have a fine dining on my birthday without feeling unwell.



Don’t worry my friends, I will do my best to eat more and more to compensate with the nutrient loss.

My umbrella, ella ella ella

Changing at least one umbrella per year is definitely not a joke in my life, as my umbrella seems to have this love-hate relationship with me. It’s either she gives up her life and stops servicing me, or she leaves me to another place.

Yar, so my second umbrella of the year disappears from my life again and for the first time, the mistake was caused by me. I left it under my chair after the break.The thing is, I didn’t even buy the umbrella itself since the umbrella was given by my friend who left my previous umbrella on the train, which seems to be so sarcastic now, because that just shows how dim my fate with umbrella is.

It’s now the time for my third umbrella this year, I sincerely hope that we will love each other more and spend longer time together this time.

10 things which make me smile ^_^

My breakfast fruity loops smiles at me.


Spent an awesome evening with bestie and watched a beautiful sunset together.


Two beautiful flowers fell on us on our way to the beach.


Jia Huey asked me to stop studying and go back home to play with her, followed by Eu Kenn telling me that he is a good boy on the phone.


Following the direction my Mickey and Minnie are looking at.


Finally received the birthday card I should have gotten a year ago.


A pretty photo with the BFFs.


Seeing colourful things being put together.


Reminiscing on my homestay experience in Japan.


Listening to inspiring songs by my favourite Japanese band. Two of the members in the group are Canadians and they’re brothers.

I realized there’s no use in crying and it is always better to smile than to cry when something happens, so we shall direct our energy into making our lives better to no let everyone beside us worry. There’s also one thing I learn when I’m studying abroad, which is you have to keep yourself in the best condition whenever possible, and cheer yourself up immediately after a fall regardless what method you’re using. The point is, you have to get up soon, because there are still never-ending tasks waiting for you, because the world doesn’t revolve just for you, because there’s no point crying on the same matter over and over again without helping the situation. So, after wiping all the tears, I should start doing anything I can to make a difference.

Firstly, I should start with self-reflection and filter all the negativity in me.

跟自己说声对不起，因为很久没有好好的吃饭
跟自己说声对不起，因为我让自己不开心
跟自己说声对不起，因为悲伤麻烦了一些爱我的人
跟自己说声对不起，因为忘了提醒自己要好好照顾自己
最后，说完对不起之后，生活还在继续

After self-reflection, I will continue finding motivation from everything, there are so many things I really feel like doing now and I’ll find no accuse to procrastinate these things any further. Everyday will be a beautiful day to start with if I see things beautifully.

It’s a beautiful world, 宇宙に旅に出よう

Thank you for attending the events of my heart.

Past few weeks seemed like a nightmare to me as a string of unfortunate events happened to me, from eating disorder, diarrhea, weird mouse clicking sound, bee sting, till now… dad’s illness. Unfortunate things were lining up for me one after another immediately after I thought I got through a big one. I thought it was going to be a good new start on my way back to Vancouver, but looks like it’s just another journey towards another battle.

Perhaps we humans are constantly battling within ourselves journey after journey, we open the door, venture for a while, then we close the door and hop on to the next door and repeat the cycle again. Maybe, this is what we call as moving on.



Really, this is what I’ve felt last week when my limit is pushed to a higher level and I couldn’t withstand the uneasiness in life. I feel a different level of pain so close to me that it doesn’t tear my heart into pieces, but I’m stunned for a few days without knowing what to do to keep my tears from falling down. It just intrudes my heart and strangles every of my nerves before I can further react on it.



However, I understand something about friendship courtesy to these unfortunates in my life. Some little angels came to me with their warm hearts to light me up. Although they tease me and megabomb me, only I can feel the humour within it and the act of care. To me, teasing me consistently works way better than bringing me out on a treat or talking sweet to me occasionally. They remind me that we’re here to complement each other, for fun and for bun, for pain and for gain. That’s just how our friendships work.

“True friends will come to you naturally, you don’t really have to look for them. They will present if they want to.”

Thank you for the porridge, that’s the sweetest thing on earth for an eating disorder person.

Thank you for the medicine and suggestions, that’s the most practical way to get rid of diarrhea.

Thank you for all the physical and verbal hugs, these are my definitions of love and care.

Thank you for making fun of me just to make me laugh.

Thank you for the accompaniment,that’s the greatest thing in between words of silence.

I may not be in the right position now but I will get back to track soon.

Be optimistic, be tough, believe, and I will begin to see the miracle.