My endless passion

I had my last lecture of the term on Wednesday, carrying a mixed feeling to class for all the things that had happened in 4 years, as that would be my last time sitting in a lecture hall if I did not pursue Master's degree in future. I spent a month revisiting building by building and taking my leisure time in different buildings for the past month, just to get the last few moments of a student's life again. I reassured myself that university life did make me feel good after all despite the stress and heavy workload, and it was indeed a place where I learned to be a better person, both personality and academic wise, from all the opportunities I was exposed to.

I never enjoy the feeling of ending something, but I'm getting better and better at getting rid of the emotional side of me by thinking and acting positively. Positive energy is the only thing that carries me on after all. Furthermore, a good bye could also mean a new hello to my new chapter of life, right? I shouldn't be so sad over those things that have made me the person I am today, because they provided me a clearer vision on my life goals.

I just want to say, thank you UBC, for all the good old times.

So what's up after graduation?

Not sure if you guys have sensed it already, but I've a growing passion in composing music and I wish to expand on that. One thing that makes me so proud is that I do not need a music sheet to play a song nowadays, and I can fully utilize my creativity in playing a song freely. I'm also learning on beats mixing to make my own composition more vibrant, but it's still too early to talk about that since I've not fully mastered the skills yet. That requires a lot of brainstorming and practice of course, as I'm never a spontaneous player and I really want to perfect my work as much as possible. However, reaching this stage itself is a tremendous growth to me, as I still remember how much I struggled at the beginning and could spend the whole day just to come up with a few lines. I believe that was not a stage many could persevere without enough passion to die for. Honestly, choosing a passion that you can die for is the most important thing because that makes you feel like the uttermost unique person on earth even when no one approves your work, it still comes within the voice of your heart!

Friends asked me to actually send out demo to music labels as a breakthrough in starting up my music career as a composer. Not that I don't want to, but I think there's still a huge area of improvement for me to work on before getting to that stage. I think I'm not up to the level yet, and I will definitely try when I think I'm ready.

Also, a friend has pondered a question on me for numerous times. He said: don't you feel lonely? His definition of lonely is having no one to share your happiness in life and someone to love. But that's just not how I define loneliness, to me, being lonely is not knowing what you want in life and losing the self esteem in you slowly. Loneliness only occurs when you do not love your life enough to have made it a better one by yourself and the people around you.I've so much plans in mind that I'd love to spend my whole life venturing into, so why should I feel lonely? Studies and music haven taken up most of my time, thus I really have no time remained to culture any sense of loneliness in me. To me, everyday is a day that's worth to be remembered and loved, and supportive family and friends always give me so much love and support that are beyond my needs, so much that I don't see the reason to mourn over something that I've no control in life. You guys have never stopped believing in my ability, and that really gives me endless motivation to keep trying for what I want. I genuinely feel loved everyday, isn't that the most important thing already?

Can you feel my love for you guys?