I read through some posts I wrote a few years back and recollected some opinions I once had.I still agree with most of the points I've made, just that I've also slightly 'modified' my perceptions on certain things as time goes by.
4 years ago, I was utterly disappointed on some friends who stepped on my shoulder and betrayed our friendships for their desires.
Today, I feel there's no eternity in this world. I learnt to avoid saying 'forever' when I realised that's not an appropriate word that could be used to express my concern to them , what can I guarantee to them when I know I have no forever? Seriously, life's too short to stuff in all the revengeful things people have done to me. If they're happy with it and it's harmless to me, I'll just let it go and eventually erase it from my mind.People plant flowers to make friendships blossom, I leave scars for some friendships that are motive-based and shouldn't have begun at the first place.
'There's no eternity because I don't fantasize.'
3 years ago, I said, 'Things change, people change'. I felt sad over the ones I couldn't hold them close enough to myself.
Today, I still stick to the thought that things change, people change. It's a human cycle which will eventually happen to us that we need time to grapse the dilemma we've been put into. Everything happens for a reason, so I have to find a way to go over things when they start to collapse. It's hard to change a person, so I try to look it from another angle to comprehend all these things that happened to me. When a person wants to leave you, he/she leave, it's not a matter whether my effort to stop them is great enough or not, but it's the power to stop someone to stay by my side is lacking in me.It's the truth that pulls me back to the reality . If they are happy, then I will let go.
'When they want to leave, they will leave.'
2.5 years ago, I didn't understand the meaning of true love.
Today, this confusion still remains unresolved . However, it seems to not be a big deal to me anymore, because I believe there are people who are better off to stay alone and spread their love to the others. Except for having a good relationship, my life is almost perfect and happy with the bunch of agile souls surrounding me, from a lovely family, supportive friends, cute pet, good university right to doing the things I've always wanted to try, I can't think of any regrets I have in my life at this moment. I've been showered with lots of love and care from them already that I have the confidence to handle my life well.
' Treat myself better and enjoy life happily.'
1 year ago, my one big dream was to become a musician and live in a world of orchestra and piano.
Today, the musical dream continues but not the priority in my life. I still play piano and go for musical performances to free myself from the noisy and fast-paced world. I'm still proud with my passion and patience to continue with my interest. Also, it's a satisfaction to keep my piano skills as part of my pocessions. Life's good when you've found something you really love and could go on with it till the end of your life.I think , piano has come to that stage in my life, and I know my future career will be another one because my future career defines my interest. I don't dig a hole and force myself to fall into it to become one of those who can swim in the large pool of money in future if I have no love for the course, and therefore future job.
' Do what I love and what I'm capable of doing.'
This year,
Here I stand, being a 20-year-old.I'm waiting for more inspirations to come, meanwhile sustaining my past.
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
February 01, 2009
May 20, 2008
37 months and still counting
It was 3 years back when I had my first entry on my blog, pmun.blogspot.com.
Blogging- such a big idea has never come to me until an old friend of mine-Mk suggested this to me. Her blog(m3yipi) is a month older than mine.At first thought,never do I think that I can be a good blogger, sharing some thought-provoking issues to my readers, or creating awareness among this small community of followers who shell out their time for every piece of my writing.
" Who am I?? I'm just a secondary school student" I thought.
This new idea had occupied my mind for some time, until I decided creating an account at blogspot,thinking of a blog name and editing the layout, they were all new things to me, in fact a long process to a computer handicapped person(hmm,*cough*). To me, every blogger holds a commitment, a commitment with own self, to create a web page of oneself and never leave it abandoned. Start with an empty space and fill everything one by one with your own colours,stories and every single thing of yourself and the people mingling around you. It is an individual thing that the only one- owner can interfere with the amendments.
" Just start from the story of my life"
Being a newcomer to the realm of blogging, I told myself this.
I started out my first entry on 20.4.05 where I scratched head to squeeze out the 55 things about me as an introduction to everyone. Come to think of it, it was quite
unnecessary since I narrowed down my readers to close friends and random visitors whom google a lot on my name. At that time, most of my entries were based on many miscellaneous things on my past and recent life.
Over the year, I made some amendments by getting out of the box, tried on Chinese blogging posts, entries enclosed with pictures, wider entry scopes, the presence of significant people and past experiences have risen my inspiration and continuing my journey as a blogger, that it slowly changes my outlook on life. What I've gone through is contributing to my posts, but looking on what I've written, I gain inspiration from my previous thoughts on certain things. I think, that's a self-development by witnessing every phase of life that I once venture into, "sweet and sour, bitter and spicy" . I'm not surprised to say that I'm growing up with my blog all these while.
I never realise the value of my entries until a few months ago, when my posts have already accumulated up to 100 plus, my inspiration fails me to continue with blogging, coming up with interesting ideas to blog on. A few silent blog readers of mine(mostly my friends) came up to me, and told me stories of how they benefited from my blog entries, and how every sentence meant to them, from there I saw my power,as a blogger, and the satisfaction I received from my supporters who leave no footprints to be tracked, but never-ending encouragement and support. I can be the heroin of anyone without acknowledgement, a heroin to a few who read through my thoughts and got something from there, a heroin to myself for my courage to speak up.Just a mere thought of it, I feel good to do what I've been doing for 3 years +, to feel the same like how the others would feel for me and my blog.
Today, is 37 months since my blog's establishment.So much had happened in this 37 months, some were like thrilling games, the impulsion came for a while,and left eventually, some were like candy,just too good to be swallowed. One thing that allows me to remain, is what I've left here that will never change. I don't need to think big for my blog, as long as I think differently. I don't need to gain popularity from beemun.blogspot.com, as long as I gain encouragement and support. I don't need to be a public heroin, as long as I'm a small helper to a few. I'm a blogger who hasn't have my mindset settled down fully, who frequent usage of emoticons on MSN, who's still multitasking while waiting for uni's life to begin, who'll be crowned as Minnie Mouse by her lovely schoolmates,who'll be treated as a 15 year-old, at most 18 "young" girl by some random passersby,but a blogger who grows up together with her fellow readers and friends,which is also a mutual relationship that best suited both of the parties.
I don't need to be anything on my blog, just myself.
And this is how I found happiness from my blog, from the moment I think of a good title,the typing process that makes me smile every time it is done.
This is happiness,simple and easy.
pmun.blogspot.com was where I began, and beemun.blogspot.com will be the point I continue to fly on with my miscellaneous life, more stories coming to tell !
A surprise to all of you, click on munmun.atlee.my and see what will happen!
Good luck!
Blogging- such a big idea has never come to me until an old friend of mine-Mk suggested this to me. Her blog(m3yipi) is a month older than mine.At first thought,never do I think that I can be a good blogger, sharing some thought-provoking issues to my readers, or creating awareness among this small community of followers who shell out their time for every piece of my writing.
" Who am I?? I'm just a secondary school student" I thought.
This new idea had occupied my mind for some time, until I decided creating an account at blogspot,thinking of a blog name and editing the layout, they were all new things to me, in fact a long process to a computer handicapped person(hmm,*cough*). To me, every blogger holds a commitment, a commitment with own self, to create a web page of oneself and never leave it abandoned. Start with an empty space and fill everything one by one with your own colours,stories and every single thing of yourself and the people mingling around you. It is an individual thing that the only one- owner can interfere with the amendments.
" Just start from the story of my life"
Being a newcomer to the realm of blogging, I told myself this.
I started out my first entry on 20.4.05 where I scratched head to squeeze out the 55 things about me as an introduction to everyone. Come to think of it, it was quite
unnecessary since I narrowed down my readers to close friends and random visitors whom google a lot on my name. At that time, most of my entries were based on many miscellaneous things on my past and recent life.
Over the year, I made some amendments by getting out of the box, tried on Chinese blogging posts, entries enclosed with pictures, wider entry scopes, the presence of significant people and past experiences have risen my inspiration and continuing my journey as a blogger, that it slowly changes my outlook on life. What I've gone through is contributing to my posts, but looking on what I've written, I gain inspiration from my previous thoughts on certain things. I think, that's a self-development by witnessing every phase of life that I once venture into, "sweet and sour, bitter and spicy" . I'm not surprised to say that I'm growing up with my blog all these while.
I never realise the value of my entries until a few months ago, when my posts have already accumulated up to 100 plus, my inspiration fails me to continue with blogging, coming up with interesting ideas to blog on. A few silent blog readers of mine(mostly my friends) came up to me, and told me stories of how they benefited from my blog entries, and how every sentence meant to them, from there I saw my power,as a blogger, and the satisfaction I received from my supporters who leave no footprints to be tracked, but never-ending encouragement and support. I can be the heroin of anyone without acknowledgement, a heroin to a few who read through my thoughts and got something from there, a heroin to myself for my courage to speak up.Just a mere thought of it, I feel good to do what I've been doing for 3 years +, to feel the same like how the others would feel for me and my blog.
Today, is 37 months since my blog's establishment.So much had happened in this 37 months, some were like thrilling games, the impulsion came for a while,and left eventually, some were like candy,just too good to be swallowed. One thing that allows me to remain, is what I've left here that will never change. I don't need to think big for my blog, as long as I think differently. I don't need to gain popularity from beemun.blogspot.com, as long as I gain encouragement and support. I don't need to be a public heroin, as long as I'm a small helper to a few. I'm a blogger who hasn't have my mindset settled down fully, who frequent usage of emoticons on MSN, who's still multitasking while waiting for uni's life to begin, who'll be crowned as Minnie Mouse by her lovely schoolmates,who'll be treated as a 15 year-old, at most 18 "young" girl by some random passersby,but a blogger who grows up together with her fellow readers and friends,which is also a mutual relationship that best suited both of the parties.
I don't need to be anything on my blog, just myself.
And this is how I found happiness from my blog, from the moment I think of a good title,the typing process that makes me smile every time it is done.
This is happiness,simple and easy.
pmun.blogspot.com was where I began, and beemun.blogspot.com will be the point I continue to fly on with my miscellaneous life, more stories coming to tell !
A surprise to all of you, click on munmun.atlee.my and see what will happen!
Good luck!
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