March Part (II)

I always welcome creative ideas into my world by living creatively. My brain sparked up a little firework this month because I’ve thought of a new way to wish someone’s happy birthday. Instead of writing message on a regular birthday card, I draw it on marshmallows by using food markers. They add emotions to the foods and fancy the foods as well, don't they?

Hmm,looks like I’m becoming a real food person at all means! Well, I think that's one of a skill as well, to live, eat, and enjoy everything creatively whenever we can.

I’ve spent quite a bit on cosmetics lately, mainly to enhance my make-up skills with the newly bought cosmetic products. I finally had the urge to buy a 100-colour palette after strengthening my foundation skills for a year, as I never felt the necessity of having various eye-shadow colours when I first touched on the art of making up. That was normal to me because I didn't even know the correct way to apply eye-shadow when I was still a make-up newbie, therefore I would definitely go for eyeliners over eye shadows at that time.

But yes, humans need progression, and so do my make-up skills! Therefore, I should really have more faith in myself and get a hand on other slightly complicating make-up steps in future.

The only downside in March was getting to know that my aunt had made her journey to the heaven a few weeks back. Seeing someone so close to us leaving is always saddening, but I’ve come to realize that the only thing I could do to alleviate the pain for her loss is to live well and keep her spirit with me all the time. She didn’t mean to leave us tears of sorrow solely, perhaps her perseverance till the very end of her journey on earth was the message she wanted to leave us- live life till the very end, for there’s a season for everything. It is a hard phase to me, but I try to take it as a form of liberation to her in good means as well as another happy journey in the wonderland. Thus, I will reincarnate after the moments of condolences, for her, for myself, and for everyone who has been struggling so hard to simply make a living.

March Part (I)

Eu: I wanna become Batman!
Me: Ehhh good idea, I want that too!! ( started opening up my sweater widely)!
Eu: Weih, who's going to take photo if both of us were batmen?
Me: Hmm true also....*slowly buttoning up my sweater again, sob*

So that's the story of the Batman and......a photgrapher.

Anyway, March is another lovely and slightly sunny month to me. I finally forked out some time for a Stanley Park walk with Eu last Saturday. Eu and I have been housemates for almost 2 years now, and there isn’t any side of mine that she has not seen before, that obviously includes my nocturnal bruxism, occasional blurness as well as my super messy look after sleep. I think exposing the ugliest side of ours to each other is what our friendship is truly about, as these imperfections make our bonds more beautiful naturally.

She is graduating this year and I’m really happy to see her completing the first stage of her life. Although that will also mark the official end of our experience of living together, I think we’ve done a great job in making our unit as homely as we could in these 2 years, and I haven’t been having this sense of security for quite a while since first year.

Thank you for instilling all the good habits in me all these while, I’m pretty sure that there’ll still be a minor reflection of you in me even when we’re apart. This is how I appreciate our friendship, within the heart and beyond the distance. Happy graduating my friend!

I’ve spent a significant amount of time immersing myself into music composition recently. The ability of writing 3 songs in 2 weeks has shed a light on me for my writing potential. If I count describe my current life in words, it would be the kind of life where I have a pencil and paper beside me all the time for me to jog down all my thoughts , even before I sleep, as that's actually the peak time of my musical inspiration! I believe this is a good start for me after 10 years, and it gives me a great push to sharpen my technical skills musically. That is definitely going to be my tentative plan this summer- more time on piano and guitar.

It’s funny how composing music is leading a domino effect in me because I’ve recently found a better way to develop my singing skills. I’m not a skilful singer, but I’ve figured out an appropriate breathing method to deliver my voice for songs that I once thought they did not suit my range. It feels like something dawned on me and I’m getting an insight of singing from my own perspective in a sudden.

Maybe, confidence really makes things work miraculously.

March is a month with moderate workload, considering the fact that I’m used to the life of submitting weekly assignments, and so life which consists of a consistent workload is not problematic to me anymore. I’m doing my best to divert stress into positive energy flow and let the strength encourages me in the long run. Seeking for strength is always part of the mission in my life because that is the just the foundation of life, as most of the bigger things usually start out with the strength and determination to make them attainable.

p/s: I think I’m getting better at creating cheat sheets because I can freely adjust my font size with a consistent flow nowadays.

激发潜能中

Credits to superb photographer Ai Vern.

曾经听过别人说，活得更自信美丽就是对伤害你的人最好的报复。

某程度来说，我觉得这种心态很正面，毕竟拥有精彩的人生最终得益的还是自己。与其说是报复，我觉得那是战胜自己心魔的一种表现，因为自己终于愿意放下包袱去发掘其他的可能性，只有在放下怨恨的同时，才是灿烂人生的开始。我相信每个人的体内都流淌着无限的可能性，只要专研下去就会有更大的爆发力。22岁的我，很庆幸地激发了自己一部分的潜能，正迈入人生的另一个阶段。当自己愿意去了解另外一面的自己的时候，那才是人生刚开始要绽放的时期，因为我愿意为了自己而相信自己的能力，心甘情愿的，毫不犹豫的踏上新的旅途。

我并不是一个很容易被刺激到的人，可是当我真正被激发的时候，我内心所散发出来的爆发力一定不小。那是因为我会不断地磨练自己，一直到我表现得比我想象中还要好为止。只要我还抱着这份自信的一天，我就会不惧艰辛地努力下去，那是我对人生的一种态度---先准备好自己来迎接世界。与其说这是怕输，我更害怕令自己失望，活在自怜的状态中，因为我人生最不缺的就是同情。如果有一天，我成功了，我也不会因此而贬低那些曾经伤害我的人，因为比起对他们的揶揄，我更喜欢用表现来证明自己，沉浸在那种无声胜有声的感觉。那些人无需得到我的原谅，也无需做出任何的弥补，因为在他们伤害我的同时就早已选择性地忽略我的感受。既然选择了不在乎，那也无需执着于自己的道歉能否换得到别人的体谅。往好的一方面想，他们的存在造就了一个更坚强与自信的我，而我也只需要专心地走接下来的路就好。只要我在得到别人的认同之前，先达到了自己的要求，那就是对我最重要的事。

最近的我，终于再次提笔创作，尝试从不同曲风的歌曲中摄入更多的灵感。说起音乐创作，我在12岁的时候就开始写了自己的第一本歌词本，当时我把很多想法都写在里头，名副其实地让它成为了一本有词没曲的音乐册。一直到18岁，在我心情最糟到透顶的时候，就涌出了生平的第一首曲，只为了一个人。只是当时的我，没能相信自己的创作能力，所以也没有继续坚持地发挥更多潜在的音乐本能。21岁那年，我又开始了词曲创作，把自己最深处的感受都零零散散地写下来，让它们承载着我当时的回忆。22岁的我，只希望能找回当年12岁的自己，单纯地因为喜欢音乐而记录下我专属的音乐旅程。我希望，就算在没有外来刺激的情况下，我还是能够善用自己的灵感来谱出一首又一首的作品。从某个角度来说，这对我也是崭新的开始，没有任何顾虑的，只为了自己热诚而存在的潜能。

断断续续地走了10年才决定再重拾的兴趣，现在再努力下去应该也不迟吧！

嗯，有心就不会有迟到的一天

Santa Monica

Santa Monica beach was one of my favourite places during the LA trip, it was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve seen so far. As you all know, I’ve always been a beach lover and I enjoy going to beach as much as I enjoy playing piano.Beach is also a source of my inspiration, musically and mentally,thus I find no difficulty sitting down on a beach chilling out for hours just to get myself into thinking.

Fortunately, we still made our way here despite of the one-hour bus trip. After days of raining in LA, Mr.Sun finally showed up and shed some light on us, giving us a sunny Christmas. Thank you for your generosity, Mr.Sun!!

My Christmas 2010 was a total luxury with the spectacular beach view, relaxing people and seafood fiesta, what more could I ask for?

The last time I actually sat on a beach happened 3 years ago, which was also the last trip I had with my BFFs before I went off for my tertiary education. The moment where 4 of us slept on the beach side by side, watching the stars while chatting about our future plans is still so vivid in my mind, as if they just happened yesterday.

We’ve grown up so much and made a huge progress along the path towards our future, that’s one thing I’m always grateful of. We always grow up together regardless of the geographical distance, and we are still standing together for the 11th year, thank you my beloved BFFs, for this growing process consists of too many memorable moments that are beyond words of silence, within the love of heart and support from the core.

Some people asked me: “Why would you want to take picture of your shoes out of so many things in Santa Monica?”

A pair of good shoes will bring you to places you’ve wanted to go and accompany you in chasing your dreams. Have you ever had the thought that they are always sharing your burden and slaving for you silently without questioning your destination?

They’ve so much faith in you all the while, how can I not give credit to them?

I love you, my shoes, you've brought me so far to see the things that I wanted to see.I sincerely hope that you felt the same way as I did for Santa Monica.

Can't wait to embark on the LOTR and Big Bang journey!

My second summer trip of the year is finally confirmed, courtesy to Air Asia promotion which thrilled me so much in finalizing my plan. I’m so excited even from pure imagination of the LOTR filming locations, breathtaking scenery as well as relaxing lifestyle, not to mention my darling Valerie and her bungy have been waiting for me for 3+ years!! OOOOOO I'm finally meeting them after such a long time!

This summer is going to be super awesome with two blasting trips. I’m equally anticipating for my Big Bang trip as well since it’s my first time travelling abroad with the BFFs, being with them always generates a lot of fun time to me. Second reason which makes me so excited about this trip should be the wide range of Korean cosmetics available there at a cheaper price as compared to K.L, thus it’s definitely the time for me to replenish my stock for the year again! Third reason should be the thought of visiting the origin country of my favourite Korean band and male-Big Bang and Siwon, not like I’m going to bump into them, but just the thought of being in the same place and visiting places they’ve been before slightly excites me.

Oklah, let’s hope that I’ll bump into them still and utilize my oh-so-fluent Korean language to greet them. They somehow thrill me to learn Korean, besides the people who mistakenly thought I’m their compatriot when I’m not, I feel like learning Korean just to explain myself and apologize to them appropriately.

I just can’t wait to embark on these journeys! Although an additional trip also means extra expenses for me, I’m doing as much paid studies and online surveys as I could to earn money, literally, since I’m not working a part-time job. I’m a little fall behind on my savings plan, so hopefully I can catch up as much as I can in these two months.

Two big summer trips are going to do me just fine this year, as I feel like spending the rest of my break with family and friends while enjoying my time in my beautiful homeland as much as possible. I would love to slack at home just to chat with my mom and siblings to make up for the time and accompaniment when I wasn’t home. To me, their smiles are the biggest fireworks of my summer. Also, I’ve many plans lining up this summer, mainly taking courses like Jap class, photo shooting, gym and probably dancing to upgrade myself. It’s a holiday after all, thus making myself happy and accomplished is the whole point of it.

Yes, it's all about me, family, and my fellow darlings this year.

Be smart, be patient, and be humble

From up to bottom, left to right:
1. Unagi rice 2. Ton Katsu Carbonara 3. Pineapple tarts 4.Potato pancakes with Bolognese sauce

The above recipes are the new things I’ve learned/invented in these two months, and I’m getting more and more satisfied with myself in cooking. Eu says I’m a 99% woman for now with all the skills I’m equipped, and that 1% flaw derives from my sewing skills because I’m still very bad at it, no jokes on that!! Sometimes, I’ve to re-sew my sweater twice because they’re loosely attached even after sewing.

I'm always thankful for the opportunity to study abroad in exchange for all of the aforementioned skills.Studying abroad is really a golden opportunity in my life as it brings out the best in me and expands the possibilities that I never thought I would have achieved. It’s only till then that I’ve learned to be an independent person and do my best in sharpening all of my skills to better myself. Ultimately, I’ve picked up an important lesson about victory along the journey- not to be the cream of the crops among the others but consistently challenging myself for what I aim for. I believe that’s the attitude which leads me to a happy path because I feel happy when I achieve my goals , and I’m barely upset when someone overtakes me or criticizes me for who I am. I prefer making the silent move by proving myself through excellent performances, as that’s the way I evaluate myself but not a benchmark for more people to attack on.

Just be smart, be patient and be humble! Do not allow your mouth to do the evil but let your performance do the justice. Give time time as it will prove yourself the best.

Last day of 2010

Last year’s new year eve was a memorable one for me, as I had my first biking experience during my trip in San Francisco.I had always wanted to try out on a biking trip because surrounding the city by bike would give an insight of the city than bussing or walking around it. I was overjoyed on how we made the last day of the year a different one, in a different place, with a whole new experience.

It was a windy and cold winter, cold enough for my fingers to freeze when biking under weather as such, but the scenery definitely made my trip a worthy one. It was also a good time to reminiscent on the highlights of the year along the biking trip. I concluded 2010 as a year for maturity and mental strength gain because I’ve learned a lot about myself and the people around me last year. 2010 wasn’t quite a joyful year to me, and those things that collapsed in front of me did depress me a lot. However, gaining mature thoughts and making a step closer to the reality weren’t a bad thing after all from an optimistic point of view. The gains definitely outweighed the losses and fortunately I’m back to myself again, standing at the position that best fits me after all the rainstorm.

So here I was, with no fancy countdown celebration and crazy crowd, but the magnificent Golden Gate bridge together with a spectacular sunset on the last day of 2010. Somehow, I found joy in this way of celebrating new year's eve.

Although I did not pull off the year gracefully, I ended 2010 in a good way to the very least.

Before the arrival of a brand new year, I reminded myself not to bring forward any unnecessary emotions and avoid provoking depression, besides calming myself and learn to communicate with my body. I truly believe that 2011 is going to be very wonderful with a healthy body, inspiring thoughts, and a lovely soul.

2011, my resolution is to forgive but never forget on the things that have brought me so far; embrace and draw new things to my life, every experience is worth a learning value; bow to losses and losers because they’ve pushed me to a higher level.

Lastly, I want to live a good life for myself and everyone else that loves me, for they are the infinite elements that spice up my life ultimately.

Learn how the world rules before you rule your own world

My friend and I had a good chat on the bad quality some people possess which causes her to lose respect on them. She hates pessimistic people who complain about their own weaknesses frequently and never really bother to make a change. She says, these people pre-conclude things and do not really make an effort to try, so how will their world be better without a change? To her, that's a sign of not having adequate self-love in someone, and thus he/she does not fight for what he/she wants the most, thus they continuously hide at the corner and poke finger.

Well, I can agree no more with her, I think it’s important to stop ranting about the desperado and see things pessimistically. Things won’t change without a change in attitude, even if you’ve figured out the root of the problem, things won’t change without a change in attitude. Instead of losing my temper on these people, I’m losing respect to people who deny their responsibility and go on with their life like they play no part in their responsibility. I find no mercy in people who make up things with very ridiculous reasons, as I consider myself as a forgiving person who’ll let go things if I see an effort in you to patch things up, but never treat me like a 3-year-old kid who accepts all kinds of lame excuses.

It’s only until last term that I find these people hard to be understood and compromised, because I do not know the best solution to deal with their bluntness. They know their mistakes, and they tell you their mistakes straight off the face, but they never apologize, neither will they make an effort to change them. I really don’t mind people making mistakes, but I’m more concerned with the lesson learned from the mistakes as well as their solution to the problem. However, things become so absurd sometimes that I start questioning myself, what do they want from me seriously?

We are all humans, thus making mistakes are unavoidable.However, what matters most is how you change your attitude to avoid making consistent mistakes in future. Don’t expect people to return you the favor without you doing your part responsibly in the first place, just like how you coordinate both legs to walk instead of one, right? Please learn the principles on how this world rules before you rule your own world, as we all are merely a subunit of the universe.

February is the month.

Took the first snow picture of mine after 2 years. I’ve been waiting for this snow for megalong, thus I was so prepared for it once it came by and quickly grabbed the opportunity for a photo shooting session with my best photo shooting buddy-Eu. I like to update myself consistently by taking pictures of myself with different looks under the same setting every year, just to figure out how much of a difference I’ve had in a year. Based on the comparison, I think I’ve done a good job in keeping myself in the best physical and mental state, also in terms of skincare and fashion.

I like it when Law says, the little girl has finally grown up and I can see the difference in you. I really take it as a compliment and motivation to keep heading towards the positive direction and gradually up-level myself in every aspect as best as I could. I’m certainly glad with the general acceptance among my peers on the slightly-different me each year. I will only go better or remain the same but never the worst, that is one commitment I’ve pledged to myself.

Credit to the superb photographer Chai Jui.

Had a getaway trip with my friends during spring break. It turned out to be an unexpected trip for me after receiving a few surprises in 2 days, I think it was more of a get-to-know-each-other-better and make-my-state-of-mind-clear trip for me as I felt a great sense of relief after the entire trip. It seems like trips are always doing me good, and I was glad that this trip served its purpose well too! After the trip, there's only one thought in my mind- I truly hope that you will be completely healed one day, as I know that the day will eventually come for you. That day has come for me already, I hope yours will soon arrive too!

My first Valentine’s baking project in 22 years of my life for friends that I truly appreciate. I had to say, baking pineapple tarts wasn’t easy at all when you had to start from the foundation step-cooking pineapple paste!!Fortunately,the compliments received on the final product definitely made me feel accomplished ultimately. I spent 2 days baking these little babies for my friends, while thinking of all my close friends around the world simultaneously, and that kept me going on with the exhaustive baking session.

Love is not inclusive to couples only but it can be spread around whenever you want to. Love won’t keep you out of reach if you took the effort to break into it.

Spent a great night out with my ex-classmate- Harry and his friends. He hit me with a surprise on the last day of my break by his sudden visit to Vancouver, and we quickly arranged for a dinner through text messages. Meeting the first Ausmatian classmate in Vancouver was the highlight of the outing, it was something that I was longing for 3 years, after being the only Ausmatian in Vancouver among my classmates. His visit has brought back a lot of the good old days and I felt amazed by the change we both have had in these 4 years. A great night out with some warm sake, that makes my February a very different one of all the 3 years in Vancouver.

Had a lot of good foods with the buddies this month! Eating out is definitely one of the regular outing activities in Vancouver for me, simply because I can’t think of a better thing to do than a chit-chatting session with good foods around. I had a good catch up with different bunch of friends and it was a joy to see everyone doing good in their lives. Every outing reminds me of how far I've gone in expanding my social network in Vancouver and blending into every social circle gradually.I see this as a self-improvement in socializing as well as an effort to make time for worthy friends.

Always appreciate the goodness and never stop the effort , I will.

Rewarded my ears with some soothing music on a Friday night. Watching at least one musical performance per term has become habitual to me as I take it as a stress-releasing activity from the regular hectic life. I’m definitely a person who needs considerable amount of peace and tranquilization in my life, and I make peace with my life by welcoming music into my world.

Always feel thankful for the healing power of music and I will continue to embrace it for the rest of my life.

Went through a transition state in my love life and started to appreciate the surprising encounter this month. For the past year, I’ve been locking up myself from people who tried to climb over the wall to clear up the misery for me when I should no longer keep it. I avoided these sensitive things as much as I could and chose to be a nice person to everyone but not the only one for a special person. It’s only until recently, when his presence rings the bell and fits into the right timing for me because I can finally confront with my past and convince myself in committing to a new life, and probably, a new story. It’s my first time letting go myself completely and feeling comfortable with the way we get along with each other after a year. I feel good, at the moment, with everything that is coming my way. Thank you for making me in believing that, making peace with the past is a way to prepare myself for the good things to come.

X：你应该走出阴霾了，我会为你感到开心的!

Yes, appreciate the goodness is what I’ve been telling myself, I will foster it carefully this time and stay neutral with the outcome. One new friend or one new relationship, either way is doing me good, so I shall stay calm for every possibility.

Our first date is coming soon, please wish me luck friends! =)

February is still a month of love, friends, and fun for me. I hope it’ll stay like this for another 10 months, that’ll bring me to a fantabulous 2011.

Good things will come to those who wait

When someone breaks your heart for so many times, it doesn’t really matter anymore if there’s going to be another time or more to come. It’s not even about depression or disappointment, but you begin to understand that there’s nothing left for them to be exploited, and you have nothing to lose. Some say it’s cruel to be treated in such a wrong way, some say you deserve a better life, but to me, it’s a complete self-willingness to face the reality regardless of what opinions you’ve heard beforehand. Opinions are opinions, they don’t intersect with self-will if you don’t want to link them together.

I usually discourage friends to wait for highly mercurial people, because I don’t know what else you could do when you have given them the biggest commitment you can afford. Let go of the mercurial people, your life will be way too tired to catch up with their pace, when they hardly know what they truly want in life except for themselves. Let go of the mercurial people, let them figure out their desires before coming back to you, while giving yourself a chance to explore another kind of life that may fit you.They say, you need to encounter some heart breakers in life as they prepare you to love the right person in future. I believe that, we all need some real-life experiences to teach us more about every aspect in life, and that includes love.

Of course, human hearts are not mechanically made, they don’t come as simple as switches and programmable software, you need time to reconsider about the option you’ve decided to give up upon and resume to the ordinary life. But your friends will come to rescue you when you breakdown and lead you to the life you should look forward to. They play a good role at that, better than you can imagine, so don’t be afraid to stay fragile once in a while, you are never alone in the dark.

Most importantly, I also believe that good things will come to those who wait, just like rain will be followed by a rainbow. Good things will reserve a place for good people, because deserving people know the way to look out for good things, do have faith on that!

While waiting for the good things to come, never forget to appreciate yourself even more to better yourself, it's worth it in the end, both to yourself and the other person.