我值得真正的快乐

Wednesday was a good day, I did the one last thing for my past and that soothed my feeling a lot. I knew it was the right thing to do because that's a number that I'll no longer call to, and that's a number that will never appear on the phone screen anymore.

It has been 2 years, without me realizing how times flies with the series of ups and downs in these 2 years. Paulo's quote 'Make peace with your past so that it won't destroy your present' truly rang the bell in me and gave me the ultimate push to do what I should have done much earlier.

Thank you Paulo, thank you my friends, and a big thanks to myself for never giving up every depressing moment which makes me a grateful person in love. I'm glad that everything makes me a better person for the worthy person. I think I've found one, and the rest is all about our progression for deeper understanding. I leave the challenge to time in clearing up my doubt and proving to me that everything is worth the wait.

Confession done。我觉得我值得真正的快乐 =）

Thank God for the gift =）

Life’s good recently despite of the insane workload, I feel like good things are coming my way surprisingly. Thank God, I’m really grateful for the one opportunity that I’ve asked for. Then I start thinking about the 'just nice' theory Val told me earlier, and how it fits into my situation now. As much as everyone hopes that this time will work out for me, I shall not put in extremely high hope to avoid the possible disappointment in the end. I appreciate the good start, but at the same time, I'm doing my best to stay sincere just to bring out the true side of me.For now, I'm just glad with our progression, it's just the way I like to handle things-taking a baby step at a time.

3 more weeks and there comes my break. I hope everything goes well till then.

Go natural!

My friend just commented on my before-and-after make up look, saying that I look very different on both sides.

She went on saying:' I thought it was a good thing because what's the point of making up without looking different or being much more pretty after that?'

I didn't take it as a humiliation although it upset me a little, it was more of a trying-to-prove-myself moment as I started browsing through my pictures to compare them myself. I really agree with her because drawing eyeliner and wearing colour contact lens do make a significant difference on my eyes; they glow up and beautify them. However, being a typical librain, I always seek for a balance between bare and cake face as I do not really want to mask myself with a completely different look after all the beautifying effects make up tools provide. It's ok to have a difference, but I just want to make sure that people could still recognize my true self behind all the gimmicks. To make that happen, I pay a lot of attention to my diet and skincare to ensure my skin looks clean,smooth, and radiant all the time, with or without make up. After all, inner beauty is still what I'm focusing on because I believe in the saying 'inner beauty will bring out outer beauty'.

I don't really mind showing bare face in front of the public. Indeed, I usually go to school with bare face because I'm just too lazy to include make up as part of my daily routine especially when I have 8a.m class! I just want to look more pretty on certain occasions because bare face makes me feel lacking, that is when I'll go for the make up. So yeah, this post is really for those who haven't seen my bare face before, and I thought, why not?

Yeap, it's always go natural most of the time and go pretty on the right occasion for me!

最后的21岁-自我认识篇

21岁，很多人都把它当成是从少年变成大人的转捩点，但有多少人真的领悟它的真谛，慢慢从思想中找到自我，找到那份属于自己的成熟呢？

我不晓得，我只知道，年纪的确让我有了身为大人的觉悟，一年比一年看透更多事情，一年比一年更收敛，这也许就是属于我的成熟吧！成熟，对现阶段的我来说，是懂得帮助与体谅别人的心情之余，也不忽略自己；是善用自己的智慧在值得投资的事情上，不让诱惑埋没了自己的能力；是充分地了解‘小不忍则乱大某’的重要性，再加以应用在日常生活中；是当全世界都质疑你的时候，你只需用行动来证明自己，让它代替语言上的反驳。

成熟，是在考虑任何事情前都加入100分的自己，还有100分我爱的人才能达到的品行。

这一年里，我让自己尝试了很多新的事物，并从中吸取宝贵的知识与教训。我觉得世界之大，我们的知识还真的显得很微不足道，所以更要不断地从各种管道来学习。无论是小知识或大智慧，都能让我对这世界的新奇度有所惊叹。

21岁，我第一次用自己的能力去买了一些自己喜欢的东西。从mp3，手机一直到电子琴，我真的觉得自己成就感满满，因为那都是靠自己一点一滴的努力与耐心去赚取的梦想。当中以买电子琴最让我高兴，因为那是我在这4年内超想做的事情，只是一直忍耐到今时今日才说服自己去买一部属于自己的梦想，就像可欣说的：‘Yay，你终于把梦想给买回家了！’。对啊，我离兴趣又靠近了一步！用自己的能力买东西真的很有成就感，也多了一份肯定自己的自信，就像程又青的熟女条规一样：‘我要用我自己的钱，买我自己的包包，装我自己的故事’。我也要用我自己的钱，创造属于我自己的故事。

21岁的我，在个性上也出现了一些变化。去年患上厌食症让我深有感触，也因为知道是自己情绪管理不佳进而导致精神与压力不佳，所以开始觉得很多事情还不如自己的健康重要。对于大部分的事情，我都选择了以最能舒缓自己压力的方式来解决它。我也非常注意自己的情绪管理，尽可能不引起过度的悲伤或愤怒，情绪尽量不受别人操控就好。至于对在乎的人，我选择了更直接与中肯的相处方式，把自己真实的想法都传达给他们，让他们明白我对他们的用心。对不在乎的人，我也毫不犹豫地选择了删除的方式还对方自由。这也许听起来很狠，但那绝对是我最后的温柔，至少在足够理由发飙的情况下保持冷静让我觉得我很有风度。因为无奈，也不想再让自己有所伤害，所以选择了放开，希望他们能够找到更懂得与他们相处的人。强人所难本来就不是我的个性，而我也不想再亏待自己过不值得我过的生活。

开心，本来就是一种选择，是一种接受，所以我打开那扇大门，正式欢迎它进入我的生活。

21岁，我觉得我活得够精彩，够自在，也够愉快。