梦想

梦想是很抽象的东西，有些人不努力实现它，只因为害怕面对现实与梦想之间的差距。当梦寐以求的机会真正来临时，自己却开始怀疑起自身的能力而停滞不前。有些人一辈子只为了一个梦想而活，在他们的世界里，没梦想就好像是在过着没意义的人生。也有些人，梦想里夹杂了很多外在因素，梦想对他们来说，是很复杂的东西，也并不是单靠个人意愿就能实践的想法。我跟欣就是属于这一类型的人。对我们来说，梦想，不仅仅是梦想而已。

我并不是输不起的人，也并没有雄心大志。这并不是因为我害怕输的感觉，而是经历过数次失去与输的感觉之后，我开始感觉到它的渺小与变幻无测的结果， 这些都不是我能操纵的范围。输赢并不可怕，可怕的是输掉自己与失败后的一蹶不振，但只要经历过那个阶段，就会重生，也会对世界多了另外一种看法。我的人生的成功不再与‘大志’与‘输赢’挂钩，而是偏向于丰富心灵的收获与简单朴实的幸福感为主。我能够扮演好的角色，就是深思熟虑每一步，再从梦想与身边珍贵的人与事物取个平衡点，以尽量不伤害别人为前提来实践我的梦想。梦想对我来说，并不一定是站在顶端享受着胜利滋味的瞬间；梦想对我来说，只是单纯地为了完成自己喜欢的事情而存在的使命。很多人都觉得拥有远大的包袱才是真正拥有梦想的人，但凡事都必须拥有大小两面才能够得到平衡，大志也只能在小志的扶持与衬托下才能发挥它最大的作用，这是人生的定律，缺一不可。很多事情都是始于一小步，再逐渐迈向一大步才会发生的，如果没有当初的一小步，那之后的一大步也会相对消失。

我只是觉得，很多梦想都是自身对未来的预测，也是能够随时间与耐性所完成的使命。喜欢让梦想保留于梦想的人，应该就是缺少了耐心与最精髓的冒险感，在面对未知的恐惧时，突然感觉到自己的渺小而觉得梦想不是能够被实现的事情。与其对大家说所有梦想都能够被实现这类的谎言，我觉得能够吸取当中的希望与精神再为自己喜欢的事情而努力，这也是一种对梦想所付出的努力。梦想并不一定需要对全世界的人做出无比非凡的影响力，它也可以专属于一个人的人生，承载着他一生奋斗的故事。梦想，很多时候，都不是件很遥远的事情，是大家无意间把它扩大，延伸到它貌似遥不可及的地步。

其实，梦想，一直都在你的身边。

First on-cruise dinner in Vancouver

Last Saturday was a good good night. I was honoured to become my housemate’s ‘partner’ for her graduation dinner. To begin with the story, she actually tempted me with the chocolate fondue fountain available at the cruise dinner, so I nodded my head without any sense of hesitation, not even a bit after hearing ‘chocolate fountain’! I knew I would have regretted much if I didn’t attend it, not mainly because of the sweet sensation, but ….

I DIDN’T WANT TO MISS THE CHANCE TO SEE EU IN DRESS! That was a huge price to pay relatively to the extra revision hours I would have gotten by mugging at home, her transformation was just way too huge for me to say no.

Seriously, she never failed in impressing me. I felt like my eyes grew an inch bigger the first time seeing her in a formal dress and looking so feminine! Hahah, that was exaggerating of course, but you know the kind of feeling when someone surprises you with something they haven’t done before since the day you’ve met them, that was how I felt.

So I became the make-up and hair stylist of the day to makeover Eu. It wasn’t entirely a difficult task because she preferred a simple style with minimized chemicals on her face, so I just fulfilled her desire with my tools. I think I took even longer time satisfying myself since I tried on a new hairstyle on that day. I made a side twist with a bun at the end of the hair. Hooo, I was so glad that I made it! Might consider doing my own hair and make up on my sis’s wedding.

I’m so glad that I’m being trusted by my girlfriends on my fashion sense and styling skills thesedays, and some of them even put their hands on me for a makeover. It’s only until recently when people started asking about my opinions on fashion, cosmetics, as well as styling which make me feel like I've been developing some new ideas on these things along the way. To me, the basic in fashion is still finding your own style and the attires which fit you best, then only branch out to various styles from the attires you’ve picked earlier. It’s barely about the price, because you make your clothes valuable by carrying them well, that is the market and social price you set on the clothes, instead of letting the pricy clothes to have a control over you. I guess it is a never-ending route for me as well, which is why I’m always absorbing new knowledge all the time. You just have to be inspired by all sorts of things and let them take their tolls on you, then only will you blossom from these inspirations that you get.

I won’t coin myself the term ‘fashionista’ or a skilful stylist, but I’m definitely one of a kind who will scrutinize myself to bring out the potentials in me, for the sake of my own happiness and confidence.

Another interesting thing on that night was the taking-photo encounter. So I met Eu’s friend who’s also majoring in Economics, she was speaking Cantonese to Eu all the while, and when she turned back to me, she hold back for a while and paused. She had that ‘ are you Korean?’ kind of look, and then I decided to break the ice by speaking Cantonese to her and explained myself for the 1849059202 times in my life. Funny enough, she actually took a picture with me at the end of the day because she thought that I look like Kara’s Goo Hara, so she could show off to her friends with our picture! Oklah, I personally don’t think so but I still feel happy to be flattered in such a way, since I’m definitely no way near Goo Hara. I’m happy enough to be mistaken in a good way.

Anyway, back to the main topic, the foods served were dull enough to be forgotten, I’d say, but I still love the night after immersing myself into the mugging world for a few days, and going to hold for 2 weeks after it. It was a good break in the midst of a tough battle. Also, it was my first on-cruise dinner in Vancouver, so it was still exciting to me to enjoy the dinner and Vancouver’s evening view simultaneously. I’ve had uncountable memories in this city, far more than the reasons for me to hate this rainy place, thus I do feel attached to it in a unique way sometimes, despite from all the homesickness I’ve to bear with at the other end of the string. Perhaps that is just the price of growing up, to try out new life experiences, believe with a pure mind, maximize every possibility, and glow with a fond heart lastly.

April’s fool? Naww, April’s Oreo!!

My first mission in April was to bake a birthday cake for Eu. I’m not really a handicapped when it comes to baking, but making a whole cake entirely by myself was definitely my first experience. However, we wanted to make this birthday a memorable one since it would be the last birthday we celebrate together for Eu in Vancouver before she graduates.Being the experience’less’ twosome, Blackangel and I decided to challenge ourselves with our first cake-baking experience, exclusively for our beloved ex-2614 housemate.

We made it a late-night project since it was the assignments’ peak at this time of the month, so we as the ‘good’ students did our best to balance between friends and studies *chuckles*. It was however a busy day for me because I only started hunting for ingredients on the same day, while doing my grocery shopping simultaneously. Hahah, I couldn’t believe myself switching from Daiso to an asian supermarket, followed by a western supermarket as my ultimate stop in 4 hours,just to make sure that I get everything that I needed! Gah, Vancouver can be quite a troublesome place in doing food shopping sometimes, when everything is so far apart, and when I don’t have a CAR! *sigh*

I chose to bake oreo cheesecake since it’s the easiest cheesecake to make for a new baker like me, moreover it only requires refrigeration to solidify the cake, so I don’t even have to give a head on the possibility of baking a burnt product, although the cheesecake itself is already black enough! I would be way too embarrassed to give something which looks and tastes so unpleasant to my friend.

Tada, so here was the final product which didn’t look quite bad after all *grins*. Although blackangel considered it as a shit-look-alike NICE cake, I still take it as a compliment out of her ‘harshness’. Don’t be too proud with your ‘lipidized’ apple cake and look down on the cake which is made from your best buddy- Mr.oreo okay! =P

Blackangel's apple cake

We had a simple birthday celebration with the birthday girl by chilling out at blackangel’s place on a Sunday afternoon, which pretty much matched with Eu’s homely birthday celebration style. I really like it when the three of us have heart-to-heart talk and let every conversation ends in the same room we have it. It’s not easy to find trustworthy people to talk to nowadays, there are often times when I lose faith in people whom I’ve trusted so so much, and picking up my broken belief is what I usually get in the end. It’s not that I’m blaming them for what they have done to me, but I’ve learned a vital lesson about trust in the end, that you have to select your friends carefully and create your own circle to keep up with the trust.It all comes down to simple math again, where addition and deduction of things are the two rules to derive an ultimate answer for your life choices, so you really have to evaluate your standpoint from time to time to get the true call for your desired life. Faith is the call I possess for the people I choose to include in my life, and I’m lucky enough to have found lovely people who are willing to accept my premium trait wholeheartedly.This is my destiny, and I’m accepting it as it is, undoubtedly.

Seems like the birthday girl really liked our surprise, as I got rewarded red bean soup at night!

Happy Belated once again, Eu猪猪！

p/s: For those of you who are interested in the cheesecake recipe, you can refer to this website:

http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/topic/14690-unbaked-oreo-cheesecake/

March Part (II)

I always welcome creative ideas into my world by living creatively. My brain sparked up a little firework this month because I’ve thought of a new way to wish someone’s happy birthday. Instead of writing message on a regular birthday card, I draw it on marshmallows by using food markers. They add emotions to the foods and fancy the foods as well, don't they?

Hmm,looks like I’m becoming a real food person at all means! Well, I think that's one of a skill as well, to live, eat, and enjoy everything creatively whenever we can.

I’ve spent quite a bit on cosmetics lately, mainly to enhance my make-up skills with the newly bought cosmetic products. I finally had the urge to buy a 100-colour palette after strengthening my foundation skills for a year, as I never felt the necessity of having various eye-shadow colours when I first touched on the art of making up. That was normal to me because I didn't even know the correct way to apply eye-shadow when I was still a make-up newbie, therefore I would definitely go for eyeliners over eye shadows at that time.

But yes, humans need progression, and so do my make-up skills! Therefore, I should really have more faith in myself and get a hand on other slightly complicating make-up steps in future.

The only downside in March was getting to know that my aunt had made her journey to the heaven a few weeks back. Seeing someone so close to us leaving is always saddening, but I’ve come to realize that the only thing I could do to alleviate the pain for her loss is to live well and keep her spirit with me all the time. She didn’t mean to leave us tears of sorrow solely, perhaps her perseverance till the very end of her journey on earth was the message she wanted to leave us- live life till the very end, for there’s a season for everything. It is a hard phase to me, but I try to take it as a form of liberation to her in good means as well as another happy journey in the wonderland. Thus, I will reincarnate after the moments of condolences, for her, for myself, and for everyone who has been struggling so hard to simply make a living.