事隔一年了，该褪色的也渐渐地褪色。很多事情过去了就无法再回头，也许该说不回头，往前走会比较好过，对你好，对我也好。之前所经历的就当作是对人生的一种历练，对往后人生多一番的体验。人来到这世上是为了经历不同的事情，走与众不同的道路，一路上遇到别人时，才可以互相交换想法，进一步地启发自己的思维。
“我 哼着我自己 的叹息”
“透明的叹息 最后 还是 我的秘密”
我错过了一个对的机会，那是对自己惭愧的亏待，旁人听不见我的叹息，一切都只能从我口中淡淡说起，我渐渐地将悲伤藏起，只敢在夜晚轻轻地流下难过的眼泪。我知道，3年前我经历过的那一次，令我学会了勇敢与坚强。那时候的我，对感情看得较为透彻，那是我所抓不紧的空气，那是能填满我心怀的回忆。时间替我洗刷了所有的不愉快，为我的旅程披上了新的衣裳，多了一个能令我微笑的回忆。我想，彷若没有第一次深刻的体验，就不会有第二次接受事实的勇气。我还是延续了第一次的决定，展开了我第二个不能说的.秘密。我想，当时的情景并没允许我解开这秘密的时机，一切的铺排都带我进入自己密封的世界里。反正，抓紧的一切，也会走远。那些日子是我不敢回首的过去，再多的辗转难眠，再多的哭泣，换来的只是我削弱的自信，而并不是你再多的关心。我曾经跟几位朋友说过，那种心情就像凌晨3点钟睡不着，抹着自己流泪的手心。很多时候都很想找位适当的聆听着，却不知该从何说起哦，该怎麽说起。再说，我不想把多余的悲伤传染下去，这么的一份悲伤，一个人习惯就好。
“我们都没错，只是不适合”
“是这样吧 我不想回答 时间慢慢释放”
是吧，时间会冲淡一切，令我学会从悲伤中崛起的生存能力。从一开始，中间，一直走到现在，我只能令自己更明白，我们最适合的关系只存在于最亲密的友情。我永远也猜不到你的表情，等不到你的回应，因为你对我根本就没什么回应。我们都没错，只是不适合存在于彼此所努力的未来里。跌倒是令我看得更透彻的一个成长过程，受到挫折令我看到自己的弱点，再摸索自己。我会记住自己今天的模样，当我有勇气去缅怀的时候，未来的自己会重新认识现在的我，以前还不够成熟的我。很可惜不是你，陪我到最后，曾一起走却走失那路口。不过，在朋友的份上，我觉得你已经尽责了，只是我应该少了期待，好好地过。我知道，你给了我很多美好的回忆，快乐的时光，也令我多了一次成长的机会。我不怕这样的结局，1年前我已开始做心理准备，再如何的伤心，也会是最后一次了。遇见你，绝对是一个美丽的意外，很珍贵的意外。正因为如此，我会把最珍贵的回忆收进画框，仔细地收藏。忘不忘，不重要，我需要的，是找到一个适合自己的生活方式。这是我想了很久后的一个决定，对自己好一点。
“我要握住 一个最美的梦 给未来的自己”
我想，当对你的希望渐渐浇熄的时候，我会慢慢走出阴影，重新见到生命该有的色彩。我对生命还依然地热衷，对学业依然地注重，对家人朋友一样地关怀，一切一直都还会在，只是这一次让我多了一份要努力保护现有的决心。是的，家的大门永远为我而开，朋友的扶持会令我重拾乐观。我不想做令自己后悔的事情，我很想令自己的生命过得更有意义，把希望传递下去。我希望为自己的存在建立更多有建设性的贡献，而不是永远停留在自己的悲伤。别期待，别人无法去实现的承诺，我想，对自己要求高一些会比对别人的期待更有用一点。当别人无法令我有所期待，我是时候改变自己令自己好过一些，处理事情会更妥当。感情一直以来都不是好人有好报，付出多一点并不会令我收获好一点。感情也不会存在于平衡点，付出的爱与得到的爱往往会失衡。这我明白，我都明白。
“我决定不再等你决定 我决定不再等待续集”
“只要你记住幸福的表情，我没关系”
再多2个多月，我就会找到新的一片天空，跟你分隔的天空，不过正因为这样，我可以更专心地为自己的生活而忙碌，扩展自己的视野与思维。我会带着属于我们，大家一班朋友的回忆，勇敢地适应新的环境，共同体验我所有的回忆，也许这就是我继续喜欢你的方式吧！我一直希望在离开这里之前，能够看到你幸福的表情，我想，我已经看到了我所希望的，所以我会祝福你。很傻的，我把你的快乐看得很重要。只要你记住幸福的表情，你快乐就好。傻了一次，不过得到了两倍的体验。之后，我也会找到属于我快乐的方式，我相信。爱情好像流沙，我不说话，随它去吧，我不害怕。谢谢你让我想了很多的事情，看到了很多例子，我欠你的，只是那开不了口的三个字，我爱你。不过那已不重要了，因为我会一直祝你永远开心！就像佩恩所说的，祝我们Best Friend Forever！
“再见爱情，我一定让自己，让自己坚定”
“我也会藏着感谢，笑着和你说再见"
我的未来，我来了！
×这次要感谢的人有很多，对你们的感谢真的有说不尽的感谢，你们给了我写这篇网志的勇气，继续走的勇气×
文君，佩恩，川玲
刘伟泥，艾菱，世界的王后@Val
熊鉴毅哥哥, Ai Leng sis
谢明芳，秋莲，瑶瑶,炫宾，伟伦
谢谢那个你！
感谢你们对我一直的支持与包容，给我非笔墨所能形容的感动，谢谢大家，真的很感谢！
我会一直努力，就像我一直都在努力！
"记忆化作 极光出现那一秒 我开始微笑 以后会努力过的 很好"
Whatever will be will be.
June 27, 2008
June 22, 2008
To my one "sejuk" friend
" I like your haircut"
This was what he complimented on my short hair during the early few months of knowing him.
He looks gentleman, knowledgeable, funny and polite. He has what it takes to conquer many girls' heart ( Aiseh, am I exaggerating too much?? Iskandar XD),that was one of the first impressions about you which I heard from the others. However, I can't agree more to tag him as an out-going, creatively funny creature whom I coincidentally bumped into last year.
Crazy...
He's generous enough to show crazy yet funny poses for us to snap a picture of it, and add into his series of "collection" , be it on our cell phones, cameras or wherever place that we put them. He never fails to make you laugh at the end of the day!
Cute...
Despite being funny and crazy most of the times, he has his sweetie cutie moment as well.
Don't believe it?? See this....
With this picture, I strongly believe that he could have been so pretty in a lacey dress, shiny hair band and a pair of ballerina shoes. WHooHoo Iskandar ! *whistles* XD
Cool....
He is an inherently cool guy I feel, with his addictive characteristics, in which I feel that's contributing to his coolness and friendliness. His coolness raised when I first watched his performance on stage, XD I think it's the sunglasses that kills. *suddenly thought of Alex's mop-and-broom dance*. His performance with our other Ausmatians is vividly on my mind, the moment where we all cheered out loud just for them-the Ausmatians march intake 07. I came to a point where I felt so indifferent having to think of the bunch of friends whom I shared lectures and classrooms with for almost a year already, having to spend half my day with them daily at that time.
Thank you for all the good shows you all put up.
I did not have enough time with him last year, but most of the moments were crazy ones. I mean, I only took a formal photo of us throughout the year, and to be precise,that took place on the last day of our course(equivalently to our Prom Night),excluding some of his exclusive shots scatteringly shared among us, hieh hieh hieh !!
Just a few days before, I got invitation from my friends to attend his farewell party, a suprise one for him. It was an idea of his sister, to give him something special before he is off to Perth.
The part was held at Planet Hollywood, led to my first visit to it.
The food was good, the place was interesting, everything was perfectly fit for a gathering of a bunch of old friends.
" I wish you to see you in your short hair again before I leave"
He told me personally on his farewell party. Our conversation is impossibly occured without his comments on my hair.In fact, he has very naturally curly hair which I find it quite nice, it's rare to see guys looking good in curly hair and he's just one of them.
Anyhow, I'm glad he still remembers the short hair Pui Mun I was in 2007, the year I got to know him.
I left a few lines on the guestbook before I leave.
" Reminiscent the past, cherish the present , anticipate the future. "
After that I left, sending off another friend for his studies. We hugged and shook hands,
In my heart I whispered:When will it be the next time I see you?
That will be a few springs and summers later, should be.
At one point,I thought of my confidant, Val ! I know she's doing well in New Zealand, but I'm just missing those times we used to have, those times where we walked side by side back home after school.
All the best to you, I hope Perth will do you fine, might be a good place to main polo !=)
Good Luck, Iss...kandar Alias!
We will pray hard for you !=P
This was what he complimented on my short hair during the early few months of knowing him.
He looks gentleman, knowledgeable, funny and polite. He has what it takes to conquer many girls' heart ( Aiseh, am I exaggerating too much?? Iskandar XD),that was one of the first impressions about you which I heard from the others. However, I can't agree more to tag him as an out-going, creatively funny creature whom I coincidentally bumped into last year.
Crazy...
He's generous enough to show crazy yet funny poses for us to snap a picture of it, and add into his series of "collection" , be it on our cell phones, cameras or wherever place that we put them. He never fails to make you laugh at the end of the day!
Cute...
Despite being funny and crazy most of the times, he has his sweetie cutie moment as well.
Don't believe it?? See this....
With this picture, I strongly believe that he could have been so pretty in a lacey dress, shiny hair band and a pair of ballerina shoes. WHooHoo Iskandar ! *whistles* XD
Cool....
He is an inherently cool guy I feel, with his addictive characteristics, in which I feel that's contributing to his coolness and friendliness. His coolness raised when I first watched his performance on stage, XD I think it's the sunglasses that kills. *suddenly thought of Alex's mop-and-broom dance*. His performance with our other Ausmatians is vividly on my mind, the moment where we all cheered out loud just for them-the Ausmatians march intake 07. I came to a point where I felt so indifferent having to think of the bunch of friends whom I shared lectures and classrooms with for almost a year already, having to spend half my day with them daily at that time.
Thank you for all the good shows you all put up.
I did not have enough time with him last year, but most of the moments were crazy ones. I mean, I only took a formal photo of us throughout the year, and to be precise,that took place on the last day of our course(equivalently to our Prom Night),excluding some of his exclusive shots scatteringly shared among us, hieh hieh hieh !!
Just a few days before, I got invitation from my friends to attend his farewell party, a suprise one for him. It was an idea of his sister, to give him something special before he is off to Perth.
The part was held at Planet Hollywood, led to my first visit to it.
The food was good, the place was interesting, everything was perfectly fit for a gathering of a bunch of old friends.
" I wish you to see you in your short hair again before I leave"
He told me personally on his farewell party. Our conversation is impossibly occured without his comments on my hair.In fact, he has very naturally curly hair which I find it quite nice, it's rare to see guys looking good in curly hair and he's just one of them.
Anyhow, I'm glad he still remembers the short hair Pui Mun I was in 2007, the year I got to know him.
I left a few lines on the guestbook before I leave.
" Reminiscent the past, cherish the present , anticipate the future. "
After that I left, sending off another friend for his studies. We hugged and shook hands,
In my heart I whispered:When will it be the next time I see you?
That will be a few springs and summers later, should be.
At one point,I thought of my confidant, Val ! I know she's doing well in New Zealand, but I'm just missing those times we used to have, those times where we walked side by side back home after school.
All the best to you, I hope Perth will do you fine, might be a good place to main polo !=)
Good Luck, Iss...kandar Alias!
We will pray hard for you !=P
June 03, 2008
New, this is something new.
I used to do ushering job during high school society gatherings, whereby we were supposed to be exposed under the ultra-friendly sun to welcome visitors, representatives from other schools in our zone. We will usually end up like some roasted chickens at Kenny Rogers. Well, roasted chicken is nothing worst than having sunburn on the back and around the neck, having to bear with the skin-peeling-off pain is a tremendous cruel punishment to me.
I came across with my first ushering job for an event a week ago, it was a Groundbreaking ceremony of a Germany-based company-Q.Cells.Q.cells is the largest global solar cells producer who wishes to expand their market in Asia. 5 billion Ringgit of investment flows into the country for a production site in Malaysia, also their first kick out in Asia at the same time. They had their first official appearance last Monday at Cyberjaya. I think this is a very wise decision of them to have set up their first station in Malaysia, as we receive massive load of solar, combined with factors such as rising foreign investment growth and lower production cost relatively to Singapore , this might be advantages to their future company growth. After all, a transfer of advanced technology will be a healthy situation to our country.
Actually...actually.... it was just all luck for me to have stumbled upon this job. One of the working agents which received my resume called me up a few days ago in need of a female usherer to replace another girl who can't make her time for this event launch. He was in anxiety when he asked me for replacement, so was I since this agent is not in my list of working agents. After much questioning and consideration, when I assure there's low risk of it, I made a firm decision to work.
I was told to be there early for simple briefing as well as observations, to provide me a clearer picture about the company, event as well as the job scope. Job scope was not difficult , preparation before the event started was the killing part. My preparation was meant to sit down and watch over other workers in haste to complete their work.It was my time working when they get theirs done, just a difference in timing though. Come to think of it, half my day was spent on waiting, despite the actual working time was only 3-4 hours.
My job scope included doing registration, distributing door gifts, collecting business cards and lastly, usher them to their seats. Meanwhile I was supposed to help my 3 other working mates of the day when they're in need.
I only started to be busy at about 12.30p.m, when the first few guests came. Besides writing down their names, I arranged the door gifts together with the catalogs to convenient the guests to collect it at once. My job will complete when they collect their gifts, since another 2 girls were responsible to usher the guests to their seats later.
Everything seemed to go on the right track that day, only when an uninvited guest dropped by. The rain had no signs of stopping despite dropping its tears for quite some time. Unfortunately, the event could not be paused to complement with the rain.The Groundbreaking ceremony took place immediately after a round of speeches.The rain was so massive that all of us got wet while carrying on with our duty.It was lucky for me as I did not apply any make up..phew, no mascara or eye shadow falling off from the top.
Otherwise the event was smooth, as I had a better view on backstage crews who are one major determinant for the success of an event, from the amount of time they spend for a project, preparation, arrangement, everything must be ready before the arrival of guests. I must say, preparation always takes longer time than the actual event. It's only a 2-3 hours event which take far more than that to succeed it. Last minute work as well as irresponsible working attitude are not going to work for tightly scheduled events as such.When you're part of the crew, you just have to make sure that you do your part good, responsibly until it deserves every cent of your pay.
Another benefit I received from this event was the food. I had 2 meals included, and all of them were cathered food. To me, it was a plus point as I need not to spend extra expenditure on meals for just a one-day job. I specially liked the Crab meat.
I shall reveal one thing before I pen-off my post.
Actually...actually....
This was what the surrounding view looked like. They set up huge tent for the ceremony.It is believed that those sandy construction sites will soon turn into production sites of theirs.
I came across with my first ushering job for an event a week ago, it was a Groundbreaking ceremony of a Germany-based company-Q.Cells.Q.cells is the largest global solar cells producer who wishes to expand their market in Asia. 5 billion Ringgit of investment flows into the country for a production site in Malaysia, also their first kick out in Asia at the same time. They had their first official appearance last Monday at Cyberjaya. I think this is a very wise decision of them to have set up their first station in Malaysia, as we receive massive load of solar, combined with factors such as rising foreign investment growth and lower production cost relatively to Singapore , this might be advantages to their future company growth. After all, a transfer of advanced technology will be a healthy situation to our country.
Actually...actually.... it was just all luck for me to have stumbled upon this job. One of the working agents which received my resume called me up a few days ago in need of a female usherer to replace another girl who can't make her time for this event launch. He was in anxiety when he asked me for replacement, so was I since this agent is not in my list of working agents. After much questioning and consideration, when I assure there's low risk of it, I made a firm decision to work.
I was told to be there early for simple briefing as well as observations, to provide me a clearer picture about the company, event as well as the job scope. Job scope was not difficult , preparation before the event started was the killing part. My preparation was meant to sit down and watch over other workers in haste to complete their work.It was my time working when they get theirs done, just a difference in timing though. Come to think of it, half my day was spent on waiting, despite the actual working time was only 3-4 hours.
My job scope included doing registration, distributing door gifts, collecting business cards and lastly, usher them to their seats. Meanwhile I was supposed to help my 3 other working mates of the day when they're in need.
I only started to be busy at about 12.30p.m, when the first few guests came. Besides writing down their names, I arranged the door gifts together with the catalogs to convenient the guests to collect it at once. My job will complete when they collect their gifts, since another 2 girls were responsible to usher the guests to their seats later.
Everything seemed to go on the right track that day, only when an uninvited guest dropped by. The rain had no signs of stopping despite dropping its tears for quite some time. Unfortunately, the event could not be paused to complement with the rain.The Groundbreaking ceremony took place immediately after a round of speeches.The rain was so massive that all of us got wet while carrying on with our duty.It was lucky for me as I did not apply any make up..phew, no mascara or eye shadow falling off from the top.
Otherwise the event was smooth, as I had a better view on backstage crews who are one major determinant for the success of an event, from the amount of time they spend for a project, preparation, arrangement, everything must be ready before the arrival of guests. I must say, preparation always takes longer time than the actual event. It's only a 2-3 hours event which take far more than that to succeed it. Last minute work as well as irresponsible working attitude are not going to work for tightly scheduled events as such.When you're part of the crew, you just have to make sure that you do your part good, responsibly until it deserves every cent of your pay.
Another benefit I received from this event was the food. I had 2 meals included, and all of them were cathered food. To me, it was a plus point as I need not to spend extra expenditure on meals for just a one-day job. I specially liked the Crab meat.
I shall reveal one thing before I pen-off my post.
Actually...actually....
This was what the surrounding view looked like. They set up huge tent for the ceremony.It is believed that those sandy construction sites will soon turn into production sites of theirs.
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