Life is an art without eraser

Best 11 moments in 2011

2011-12-31T08:01:00.000+08:00

Decided to let pictures do the talking this year, since this is my first baby year in photography.

Come take a look at my timeline if you guys don't mind.

11.My first Valentines pineapple tarts.

10.Farewell with my best photographer and housemate, Eugenia.

9. Had my first trip with friends in Vancouver. I think, this is something that I've to get used to in future.

8. Completed my first musical project and felt proud of the musical side of me for the first time.

7. Celebrated my 22nd birthday and received one of the most creative birthday gifts in my life.

6. Penang trip with the BFFs. Thank you for making me in believing that, forever is not just a word, it is possible and works on us.

5. Visited my best friend in New Zealand after 4 years and that was one of my most inspiring trips.

4. Photo of us with dad after years. Dad looked genuinely happy in this picture, and this has added priceless meaning to the picture.

3. Climbed up Seoul tower with BFFs in rain, which spiked up our Oppa heat.

2. Traveled to Taiwan with my family after a long long time. Family time is always precious, thus I enjoy every moment, every second of it as much as possible.

1. Witnessing my best friend on earth getting married.

2011 is definitely a year to be remembered, as everyone in it has made it a better year relatively to 2010. I don't need a better year in 2012, so long that it is as good as 2011. You will always be in my heart, and I will move on with you, 2011.

Oh good December!

2011-12-26T08:45:00.000+08:00

December is all about finals and holidays to me. I’ve dealt with my second last term 2 weeks ago with the end of my finals, and that also marks the start of my winter break simultaneously.

This year, I decided to stay put and celebrate the festive season with my fellow Vancouver friends since I had been busy travelling during winter for the past few years. I'm happy with my choice because every little thing that we’ve done in these 2 weeks makes me feel blessed with their presence.

So… this winter break is mainly about baking and cooking to me! Did massive cooking and some simple baking with my friend for our long-awaited ski trip.

First baking session of the term! The oven in my house is not functioning unfortunately, if not I could have foreseen more baking sessions in future. We baked banana and carrot cake as well as the regular brownies, in which both recipes were new to me.

And then there was sushi session! It was my first time making so many Sushis (approximately 50) myself besides my first attempt on making Unagi nigiri. I’ve to say, motivation was really the only pillar strength that kept me going for the whole 3 hours of making sushi alone. I love preparing food for people that I love because I love seeing their blissful faces out of the homemade meal, but I guess my cooking skills are not up to that level yet to witness that blissful moment, so more time for cooking in future is necessary.

Honestly, the effort and dedication I had put in for the trip was unbelievable. It all started from grocery shopping to baking and cooking, and lastly packing up, and it took me approximately 3-4 full days to get these things done.I think the time spent in food preparation was actually longer than the actual duration of the trip, which made me feel a little exhausted during the trip.

However, the compliments I've received from BFFs make me feel encouraged, especially when I was barely a good cook 4 years ago until I can cook decent meals and soup nowadays. The journey is not easy undeniably, and I just hope that my effort will be appreciated someday =). Thank you BFFs, your encouragement is definitely the precious light out of the dark.

Third massive cooking session was done with my lovely friends. We had homemade dinner together on Christmas and it was really lovely. As much as I enjoy celebrating Christmas commercially and doing it the outgoing way, spending Christmas in someone else’s house gave me a new definition of Christmas. Christmas celebration can be simple, lovely, warm despite there’s no Christmas presents involved.

I’m just happy that I’m an easily-contented person to have found this feeling awesome.

2011 is coming to an end although I can’t believe how time has sky rocketeered throughout the year. Hmmm, time for some self-reflection and wrap ups ehh, stay tuned!

I miss Taiwan!

2011-12-18T18:00:00.001+08:00

I went to Taiwan 4 months ago and that was my 4th/5th visit to Taiwan. Seriously, Taiwan is my second most-visited country after Canada, so it really feels like my second home in Asia. Generally, I've very good impression about Taiwan based on all the Taiwanese friends I've made across the globe as well as the hospitality I've received every single time I go to Taiwan. I've to say, they're really an awesome bunch of people!

Gah, I'm just being struck by slight dose of Taiwan sick because my friend just went back to Taiwan for vacation. I shall blog about all of my summer trips in detail to wrap up this year.

Taiwan I miss you, please wait for my next visit!

The most epic dance in my life.

2011-12-10T14:50:00.001+08:00

As I told you guys earlier, I danced for my sister wedding entrance. Seriously, dancing was never my thing and I was so freaked out when I got the invitation from my sister. She wasn't pushy on this, but being her only younger sister, I'd love to contribute as much as possible in turning her wedding into a memorable and special one. At the same time, I was worried for my frog-like dancing skills which made me feel so interior of this whole performance. So I was really struggling before I could come out with the final decision- to go all out for my sister for once. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thingy for her, so there was no reason for me to turn it down!

Anyway, we were supposed to follow the Glee dance below.

After watching the video, my only O.S in heart was that: 'I'll be fine as long as I'm not the first girl' because her part seemed to be most challenging to me, with the sweet yet elegant expressions and smooth movements. I was also very worried of the moving shoulder part because I just couldn't imagine myself doing it naturally!But life has always got a way to twist around you ehh, and somehow I was put in front to pair up with the groom's brother, Dwayne.

YADAAAAA.... how am I going to pull this off? In front of 700 people? WAEEEEE......DOUSHITEEEEEE.....DIMGAI.....

Aih, but what's decided is decided, I could only work harder in overcoming my weaknesses to not embarrass myself in front of 700 people.I was so nervous to a point where I started practicing in front of the mirror before the rehearsal to catch up with Dwayne. We were so awkward on our first rehearsal since we were both too shy to dance according to the video, with the other 10 pairs of eyes looking at our dance right on the spot. I felt so pressured!!!

Fortunately, I really had a good partner to guide me and correct my movements as much as possible. Despite of the difficulty in matching up with each other's timing, so much fun were shared through sweat and good food. I enjoyed my time with everyone in the dance crew who were all the J couple's old friends. I admire the friendship bond in them because they have been knowing each other since high school and are still willing to find time to come out with special event like this despite of their busy life schedule, exclusively for their old friends. It was truly a wedding which had friends and marrying couples actively engaging with each other in every joyous way possible. They also gave me so much support and advices to help me in improving my performance, which was very much appreciated.

Despite the exhaustion, I had to say, I had one of the best times in my life doing something out of the box like this.

Despite the bad dancing, I had to say, I did my best to make every effort and blessing count.

I just want to thank everyone who made this happen wonderfully, especially my partner, Dwayne! It must have been uneasy for you to carry me for so many times just to perfect the dance.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN! Being accomplished is truly an awesome feeling.

A beautiful mess

2011-12-06T08:12:00.001+08:00

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures

We'll fly like birds, not of this earth

And times they turn, and hearts disfigure

But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts

But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

Jason Mraz's lyrics warm my heart in the midst of continuous self-battle.=)

Good fall

2011-12-05T13:00:00.001+08:00

Autumn has slipped away silently.

I spent the last few days of autumn by visiting a special cafe and immersing myself into the beauty of coffee art. I also had in-depth conversations with people whom I feel comfortable talking to while taking the last opportunity to capture the last few moments of falling leaves.Hmm, talk is cheap but it's very soul-calming.

I'm starting to get used to the feeling of sending something away optimistically, because every good bye also marks a new hello at the same time. It was a good fall to me, with the usual calm yet a little surprises. Therefore, I'm wishing for a good winter as well, a good December to end my epic year.

See you again next year, Mr.Autumn!

我值得真正的快乐

2011-11-26T16:44:00.001+08:00

Wednesday was a good day, I did the one last thing for my past and that soothed my feeling a lot. I knew it was the right thing to do because that's a number that I'll no longer call to, and that's a number that will never appear on the phone screen anymore.

It has been 2 years, without me realizing how times flies with the series of ups and downs in these 2 years.Paulo's quote 'Make peace with your past so that it won't destroy your present' truly rang the bell in me and gave me the ultimate push to do what I should have done much earlier.

Thank you Paulo, thank you my friends, and a big thanks to myself for never giving up every depressing moment which makes me a grateful person in love. I'm glad that everything makes me a better person for the worthy person. I think I've found one, and the rest is all about our progression for deeper understanding. I leave the challenge to time in clearing up my doubt and proving to me that everything is worth the wait.

Confession done。我觉得我值得真正的快乐 =）

Thank God for the gift =）

2011-11-21T16:56:00.001+08:00

Life’s good recently despite of the insane workload, I feel like good things are coming my way surprisingly. Thank God, I’m really grateful for the one opportunity that I’ve asked for. Then I start thinking about the 'just nice' theory Val told me earlier, and how it fits into my situation now. As much as everyone hopes that this time will work out for me, I shall not put in extremely high hope to avoid the possible disappointment in the end. I appreciate the good start, but at the same time, I'm doing my best to stay sincere just to bring out the true side of me.For now, I'm just glad with our progression, it's just the way I like to handle things-taking a baby step at a time.

3 more weeks and there comes my break. I hope everything goes well till then.

Go natural!

2011-11-09T15:37:00.003+08:00

My friend just commented on my before-and-after make up look, saying that I look very different on both sides.

She went on saying:' I thought it was a good thing because what's the point of making up without looking different or being much more pretty after that?'

I didn't take it as a humiliation although it upset me a little, it was more of a trying-to-prove-myself moment as I started browsing through my pictures to compare them myself. I really agree with her because drawing eyeliner and wearing colour contact lens do make a significant difference on my eyes; they glow up and beautify them. However, being a typical librain, I always seek for a balance between bare and cake face as I do not really want to mask myself with a completely different look after all the beautifying effects make up tools provide. It's ok to have a difference, but I just want to make sure that people could still recognize my true self behind all the gimmicks. To make that happen, I pay a lot of attention to my diet and skincare to ensure my skin looks clean,smooth, and radiant all the time, with or without make up. After all, inner beauty is still what I'm focusing on because I believe in the saying 'inner beauty will bring out outer beauty'.

I don't really mind showing bare face in front of the public. Indeed, I usually go to school with bare face because I'm just too lazy to include make up as part of my daily routine especially when I have 8a.m class! I just want to look more pretty on certain occasions because bare face makes me feel lacking, that is when I'll go for the make up.So yeah, this post is really for those who haven't seen my bare face before, and I thought, why not?

Yeap, it's always go natural most of the time and go pretty on the right occasion for me!

最后的21岁-自我认识篇

2011-11-06T16:48:00.001+08:00

21岁，很多人都把它当成是从少年变成大人的转捩点，但有多少人真的领悟它的真谛，慢慢从思想中找到自我，找到那份属于自己的成熟呢？

我不晓得，我只知道，年纪的确让我有了身为大人的觉悟，一年比一年看透更多事情，一年比一年更收敛，这也许就是属于我的成熟吧！成熟，对现阶段的我来说，是懂得帮助与体谅别人的心情之余，也不忽略自己；是善用自己的智慧在值得投资的事情上，不让诱惑埋没了自己的能力；是充分地了解‘小不忍则乱大某’的重要性，再加以应用在日常生活中；是当全世界都质疑你的时候，你只需用行动来证明自己，让它代替语言上的反驳。

成熟，是在考虑任何事情前都加入100分的自己，还有100分我爱的人才能达到的品行。

这一年里，我让自己尝试了很多新的事物，并从中吸取宝贵的知识与教训。我觉得世界之大，我们的知识还真的显得很微不足道，所以更要不断地从各种管道来学习。无论是小知识或大智慧，都能让我对这世界的新奇度有所惊叹。

21岁，我第一次用自己的能力去买了一些自己喜欢的东西。从mp3，手机一直到电子琴，我真的觉得自己成就感满满，因为那都是靠自己一点一滴的努力与耐心去赚取的梦想。当中以买电子琴最让我高兴，因为那是我在这4年内超想做的事情，只是一直忍耐到今时今日才说服自己去买一部属于自己的梦想，就像可欣说的：‘Yay，你终于把梦想给买回家了！’。对啊，我离兴趣又靠近了一步！用自己的能力买东西真的很有成就感，也多了一份肯定自己的自信，就像程又青的熟女条规一样：‘我要用我自己的钱，买我自己的包包，装我自己的故事’。我也要用我自己的钱，创造属于我自己的故事。

21岁的我，在个性上也出现了一些变化。去年患上厌食症让我深有感触，也因为知道是自己情绪管理不佳进而导致精神与压力不佳，所以开始觉得很多事情还不如自己的健康重要。对于大部分的事情，我都选择了以最能舒缓自己压力的方式来解决它。我也非常注意自己的情绪管理，尽可能不引起过度的悲伤或愤怒，情绪尽量不受别人操控就好。至于对在乎的人，我选择了更直接与中肯的相处方式，把自己真实的想法都传达给他们，让他们明白我对他们的用心。对不在乎的人，我也毫不犹豫地选择了删除的方式还对方自由。这也许听起来很狠，但那绝对是我最后的温柔，至少在足够理由发飙的情况下保持冷静让我觉得我很有风度。因为无奈，也不想再让自己有所伤害，所以选择了放开，希望他们能够找到更懂得与他们相处的人。强人所难本来就不是我的个性，而我也不想再亏待自己过不值得我过的生活。

开心，本来就是一种选择，是一种接受，所以我打开那扇大门，正式欢迎它进入我的生活。

21岁，我觉得我活得够精彩，够自在，也够愉快。

心情不好，请容许我做喜欢的事情发泄一下

2011-10-29T15:19:00.000+08:00

今天心情烂透了，不过没关系，我相信我自恋一点，多听点歌，睡个好觉就会没事的。嗯，就这样决定了，希望大家周末过得愉快！

最后的21岁-感情篇

2011-10-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

感觉上每一次在生日后写一篇日记已经变成了一种习惯，也许是喜欢总结自己在过去一年的成长，也许是为自己眼神所绽放的坚定而感到自豪，更多的是一种‘我还健健康康地活着’的感恩。我发现我往往都把自己的感情世界放在文章的最后，也许是一种在乎？还是一种习惯？所以今年我决定打破自己的框框，从自己的感情生活开始写起。

21岁，感情风浪澎湃，遇到4位好好先生，也被好好地对待过，好得让我却步，好得让我相信，原来真的有人会珍惜我的好。只是很可惜我没能让任何一位好好先生搬进自己的心里，也没能好好地回报每一位对我的喜欢。虽然常被很多人问起：‘怎么还没有男朋友呢？以你的条件应该不难找啊’，又或是更进一步地跳到婚姻的话题，直接催婚了起来。对于这样的问题，其实我已经见怪不怪了，甚至可说是百毒不侵，因为的确是我自己的心不在焉，才会搞成现在的局面。或许是，我已经很明确地确定，感情与条件是非常distinct的两件事，无法相提并论。感情是情绪，条件是理性，一般感觉满满的人很难会做出理性的条件评估；一样地，条件至上的人也无法光靠感觉就能够一直走下去。只要两者都在‘可以接受‘，’还不错‘的范围里面，很多人就会选择一头栽进去了。

我也听过很多人的劝告，尝试跟其他男生约会过再做决定，尽量让自己在感情里放松起来。可是面对感情这么千变万化的事情，我还是不得不投降，因为我真的没办法为自己的喜欢找到一个出口。但是这些都是在努力试过了之后才下的定论，所以我也不觉得有任何值得遗憾的地方。

但我想说，拒绝别人的好，还真的是一件非常难的事情。但，拒绝，总比得过且过来的好，也没那么自私，所以我还是当了那么的一个坏人。

庆幸的是，他们都在离开我之后踏上了各自的路途，也找到了他们自己的公主。看见他们的幸福，让我心里的愧疚感减少了许多，因为他们活得比以前更快乐。毕竟我自己衰就好，总不希望看到别人跟我一样衰，我也希望能够感染他们的快乐呢！所以这一年里，我对感情的看法从悲伤，空洞，再蜕变成为一种喜悦与释怀吧！我常为这种心情上的转变感到自豪，因为对我来说，那是放了自己的真实感，放了自己才能够专心地走接下来的路，接受接下来的美好。

这一年里，我也把自己之前的感情做了一个了结，彻彻底底地把它封到自己的回忆箱子里。这是我第一次正视问题的根源吧，但面对问题教我学会了勇敢，而这份勇敢也为我找到了一个答案，让我更确定我自己所做的选择。因为喜欢过，开心过，努力过，心碎过，流泪过，崩溃过，才再重新来过，这一步步的成长都让我多了一个微笑的理由，所以我始终觉得这些过程对自我成长是好的。虽然这些阶段很令人难受，但它们都让我认识真正的自己与认清事实的真相。毕竟我最难过的并不是两个人没在一起，而是真心从一开始就没被相信过，也因为这样，我坚决地相信摆在我眼前的这个事实。我的死心很倔强，能让我死的了心的决定就代表它已经没有挽回的余地了，所以这一次我可是下了天大的决心要越过这一个坎。他始终不是那个在平行时空里的柯景腾，所以沈佳宜也决定要离开过去，就像书里面说的一样，‘我與他之間的愛情總算有個不圓滿卻很踏實的句點’，我们，正是现实生活中的结局。曾经喜欢的两个人，也不一定就适合在一起呐，我算是明白了这种道理。不过我也听说过另一种说法，就是两个人的分开可能会造就四个人的幸福，我很喜欢这种说法，因为它让我觉得黑暗的结束也许是光明的开始。再说事情都已经隔一段落啦，所以我觉得答案也显得不重要了，重要的是，我又微笑着活过来了。

现在的我，最大的挑战就是一个好的时机吧。最近在机缘下遇到了一位好的对象，也隔了很久才再拥有想好好努力的想法。虽然对彼此了解没很深，但总觉得我们有很深的共鸣，拥有很多相同的习惯，是天秤座的关系，还是纯碎的想太多呢？我也不知道，所以我需要的，真的只是一个好的时机去化解这些难题。只是基于这次问题的复杂性，现在并不是发展的最好时机，所以就让时间先让我确定自己的心意吧。

=）今年生日的其中一个愿望，希望我们都能得到一次努力的机会，只要一次就好。我还真的是第一次许下这么的一个愿望呢，所以希望会成真啦！

Kayak

2011-09-18T05:40:00.000+08:00

I’ve a lot to blog about my past summer actually with a series of interesting events occurring in the past few months, but I just didn’t have the ohm to keep up with my scheduled blog posts. Procrastination is always a bad idea and I’m definitely not tolerating it anymore, I realize that I should use my time more wisely. It’s more like a self-reflection before graduation, a wake-up call telling me that time management and fulfilling plans are extremely important in making my life a successful one.

Seriously, I’ve so many things in mind that I don’t know where to start with. So I’m just going to start from the more recent activities and then track back my happenings from time to time.

My friends and I took advantage of the sun and we went kayaking under the sunny weather last month. Kayaking is nothing new to me but somehow I always do this in a foreign country, be it my first time in Gold Coast 10 years ago and the second in Vancouver. I find kayaking very interesting and it’s an activity that would be much more fun to do with a good friend. That’s probably due to the fact that partners who can match with each other’s pace well and move concurrently can halve the exhaustion and frustration of this activity efficiently. Thus, I highly recommend this activity with a good friend or take on another option of 1-person kayak.

And yup, please welcome my crazy buddy Isis’s nails and legs!

It’s also a very good time to do some serious chatting while kayaking because that’s one of the few things you could do in the middle of the lake, apart from being immersed into the natural surroundings.So, just talk!!

That was indeed a very good day of mine in August, with friends and nature, what more can I ask for?

爱笑的傻瓜

2011-09-14T13:27:00.002+08:00

很多人都不解我天生爱笑的本性，常会问我说：你到底在笑什么？有什么好笑的事吗？

想起来，我还真的是常常都在笑，可以是在吃饭的半途，可以是在阅读的时候，也可以是在某个很突然的瞬间不期然地笑起来。很多时候，我都是在傻笑，因为我的脑里就好像装满了无限个大笑脸，充当着我笑容的补充器，所以微笑也不会有干枯的一天。也因为这一种态度，让我在别人面前哭不起来，只会本能的笑一笑，然后把烦恼都像折衣服般规律地收起来。真的，看过我哭的人应该觉得很骄傲才对，因为那绝对是我人生中异常珍贵的画面。

曾经有好几个人跟我说过，说他们想看看我发飙的样子，会不会是个微笑着骂人的傻瓜。也有人说，就是我这种人发起脾气来才最恐怖，十足百年才爆发的火山那么有杀伤力。说真的，我也不知道我发飙起来的样子会怎样，虽然会有生气的时候，可就算遇到再衰的事情，再贱的人，我就是提不起劲去骂人。虽然有时候还真的很想看看自己发飙的程度，可我就是那种很难被惹气的类型，真的生气起来就会对那事/人绝望的人，所以心中的那团火也不会待很久。这样对身体也好一点嘛，有效地扑火才能够看见值得自己高兴的事情啊！也许，那时我面对人生，面对世界仅有的态度，笑一笑，再继续努力就好。

话说什么时候，大家可以帮个忙，帮我把火气兼泪都挤出来，让我看看是怎么样的感觉嘛！我也蛮想知道在别人面前大骂个1分钟或是倒头大哭会是什么样的新奇感觉呢！

Very interesting song

2011-09-06T12:32:00.000+08:00

教友战友老友女友说过笑话说再见

喊了痛了醉了说了再见让往事如烟

来瞻仰乐观的脸回忆里蔓延

欢送会有我的笑脸

我最爱未到了最美燕尾服也是最美

到这葬礼似去派对拍照代替纪念碑

人间偶遇中嬉戏留底缺憾美期望你还念我童言无忌

活得精彩结尾切勿流眼泪来让我诗歌班里照然沉睡这是自然程序

开心的派对散后无法聚我于烛光里祝福一句句都心满意足

若一天你活的很累纪念我过去为人如此风趣

笑我赞我怪我爱我要答谢世上每个

跳过跌过试过错过更唱没岁月如歌

浮光里活出真我人不算白过

原谅我遗下你提前离座

活得精彩结尾切勿流眼泪来让我诗歌班里照然沉睡这是自然程序

开心的派对散后无法聚我于烛光里祝福一句句都心满意足

若一天你活的很累纪念我过去为人如此风趣风趣

（活得精彩结尾切勿流眼泪来让我诗歌班里照然沉睡）

这是自然程序开心的派对散后无法聚

放我于心里新的工作一追再去追

未开出最后的花蕊你别要气馁何妨留恋一岁多一岁一岁

That's the attitude I wish to possess when the world no longer fits me one day.

能够见证你们每个人的幸福，让我觉得很有意义

2011-08-31T13:04:00.000+08:00

One of the reasons I enjoyed this summer so much was because of the introductory sessions to all my good friends’ partners. Val, Win, El, and I used to be the foursome in Chinese club during high school and we’ve been strengthening our bonds by going through a lot of things together, both good and bad. Thus, it is a significant moment to me to witness people who mean so much to them, just like how our friendship means to me. Because we know each other’s love stories in all these years so well, we definitely understand the pain of broken promises and unfated love, and that makes everyone’s happiness an important daily prayer to us.

Val and I used to create the lists of our ideal boyfriend while walking back home from school. Although we demand for different qualities from a guy, we never really change the things that we look for all these years. I think God heard her prayer and sent Bernard to her, a person that I believe can complete her. What’s even more rare is that he fulfills all the things she ever looks for, making me believe that he is the right one for her. Seeing them together for 4 years and hearing about their marriage plan make me anticipate even more for the next 4 years to come.

‘Don't let people make you believe you have to settle for "good enough", cuz "just right" does exist :)’

Thank you for all the things that you’ve told me, especially when you share your happiness with me by being a part of it, I really take my heart for all these details.

Even though there’s an issue that we seldom talk about, I truly understand all of your concern about my love life, especially when 3 of you are having a stable relationship but only me. I know, that you guys are trying to make me feel comfortable by cutting these conversations out of the table and sharing me things that would rejoice my feeling. You guys want me to have faith in myself for the right guy ahead, along with all the good things that await me.I feel rather touched by all the kind consideration and support, and it’s been a while since I last talked about love, mainly because I don’t consider 'loveless' as a problem in my life. When I think about all the breakdowns I went through whenever I had a love problem, I begin to believe that staying single is the best choice for me now. I’d rather conquer loneliness than depress, just because I cannot take another shock anymore, both mentally and metabolically, neither can I bare the pain and restructure my life for another time. If being single was my destiny, then I’ve long accepted it already, thus there’s nothing to be worried or sad about.

However, there’s one thing that I need you guys to know, I sincerely value the way we support each other when something goes wrong in our love life, because you guys make me understand an important lesson, that we all find a new life through moving on, and I’ve found evidence from you guys. As much as you guys want me to be happy, I’d pray for the same thing to happen to you guys as well. I'm glad that all of you have found the person that you should treasure and are happier than before, because that's what matters the most, people would only know how to treasure triumph after undergoing pain. No, we ain't talking about the ideal guy lists or any fan girl fantasy anymore, the touchable and sensible serendipity I see from you guys makes me feel blessed and I can ask no more than that. Also, the tremendous changes we all have gone through in 10 these years never fail to amaze me, everyone’s life just gets shuffled for the better.

你们的幸福，在任何时候都对我很重要，所以不要为我而感到心疼，因为能够见证你们每个人的幸福，让我觉得很有意义。

Luckily, I still have these precious smiles with me despite the storms and rains, there’ll never be a day that I’m love-deprived when I have you guys. =)And this, is always my wish for you guys.

Romantic grasses

2011-08-26T04:53:00.000+08:00

I told my friend that grasses in this photo looked very romantic visually. Lian then came up with an interesting question:

“What do you mean by romantic grasses?”

Well, the only logical answer that I could think of was probably their wavy figure and soft colour which made me feel so. But don’t you guys think that this plant looks very appealing and it’s usually appearing in those romantic scenes of many love songs’ MVs?

Anyway, I squeezed myself into this bunch of sexy creatures and had a taste of the romantic feeling I’ve long imagined. I’ve always wanted to experience the feeling of being surrounded by a sea of flowers or simply any plants that have calming effect, and I’m glad that my wish was being heard in this trip. I like how every picture reminds me of the little happenings in every trip, that's perhaps the way I value my vacation.

So there goes this photo, please join me and start appreciating these romantic grasses as well. =D

Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

2011-08-24T15:14:00.001+08:00

I never really had a chance to thank my tour guide of my New Zealand trip. I can thank her no more for all the successful road trips and special meals of the local delicacies.

Thank you for making everything happen, my dear friend, you have undoubtedly added a lot of spices to my trip. And I just want to say, you're amazing, just the way you are.

Good luck on anything, because you really deserve everything.

谢谢，我

2011-08-23T17:35:00.002+08:00

只是习惯了在心灵很脆弱的时候，都会拍拍自己的肩膀，提醒自己努力走过来的路。

然后，感谢着眼下的这双脚，感谢着眼里的这个自己，感谢着还在等待自己的每一个明天。

这些日子里，认认真真地矛盾过，疯狂过，挫败过，然后又重新地振作过，开心过。

挫败并不好玩，但它却让我踏踏实实地学会做一个爱自己的人。

从此，我少了期待，多了踏实，少了憧憬，多了自信。

我也亲眼见证了那个连别人都不了解的自己，还有那份狠起来可以变得非常麻木的心。

即便如此，我还是很想对自己说，没关系，我还是很喜欢这样的自己。

也因为明白了昨天的艰辛与今天的得来不易，我希望我的明天不再活在过去，而是一切重新。

更因为明白了人生不存在重启键，所以每天都重新地祈祷，重新地过活，重新地努力，只盼望能够守住那个不放弃自己的内心，不曾喊累的坚持。

而此刻最想感谢的，正是这样的自己。辛苦你了，但请别忘了往后的坚持与耐心，因为我相信你可以。

Waiting for my day to come.

2011-08-19T17:48:00.000+08:00

I'm back to the mapleland after 3.5 months of pure fun and family time at home, and I'm prepared to do what I should do at this period of time, for the one last time until I put on the square hat. I consider next year's graduation as a new milestone for me to embark on a new journey and truly pursue my dream.I've always been doing what I like all the time, but to live a life out of pure passion is the life that I'm really seeking for . I told a few people about my dream, although it seems to be unpractical to many other people, I believe it's not something that's out of reach. Even if it was, I would find out the answer myself instead of allowing other people to let me down by telling me that I can't.

I can, when I really want to, so it's really a matter of determination in my opinion.

Academic performance is my main focus now and I'm surprised by my last year's performance with a 6% increase in my average. That has injected a strong confidence in me and I seek for a better performance this year to mark a good ending of my 18 years of education. Come to think of it, 3 years of uni just passed by in a blink of eye and I can't really recall most of the lecture materials that I've learned in these years. Seriously, I wonder if my total memory for the materials learned would sum up to a 30%? That really sounds like an epic fail considering the enormous effort I had put in every term.

But... I'll still wait for the day of honor and pride to come, when I can finally tell my parents:

'Dad and mom, I've finally reached the finishing line! Thank you for your tremendous support and love.' =) I know that day will come. And I know that my day will come too. Let's all work hard for what we yearn for.

我的宝贝们啊！

2011-08-10T00:51:00.002+08:00

我的宝贝们啊，世界上没有比看见你们的笑容更幸福的事。

我的宝贝们啊，你们还真是一群很会逗人开心的小家伙。

我的宝贝们啊，有你们的这5年里让我重拾了很多美好的童年回忆。

我的宝贝们啊，你实现了我当大姐姐的心愿。

我的宝贝们啊，你让我好喜欢这个逐渐扩大的家庭，即使我已不再是家里的小宝贝。

我的宝贝们啊，这个夏天因为你们而充满了朝气与活力。

我的宝贝们啊，我不求别的，只希望你们要健康快乐地长大就好。

我的宝贝们啊，我还真舍不得离开你们回到世界的另一端去。

我的宝贝们啊，长大了可别忘记‘小姨姨’这个人物。

我的宝贝们啊，我们明年再见了，好不好？

Back with a stronger heart

2011-08-03T13:18:00.008+08:00

Oh my, I finally have the time and mood to properly blog about my entire summer. I can’t believe how much I’ve done in my life while leaving the blog empty simultaneously, and I really mean it when I say ‘much’! Having visited 3 countries in a month, I’ve definitely had a taste of staying in different city every night and breaking my own record of taking the most number of flights in a month, to an extent which I felt the need to take a break from a break. However, I think I’ve also qualified myself as a helpful travel buddy from all the things I’ve learned in this traveling month. Also, it’s definitely the best time to know more about a person through the experience of traveling together, and I can’t help but to emphasize the importance of finding good travel buddies for a truly good trip.

This summer has got to be the most fulfilling and fruitful season in these three years, as I’ve brought myself closer to my dream while witnessing the accomplishment of some other peoples’ dreams. For the first time after a long while, I’m actually breathing in the joy of dreams coming true again, which is such a down-to-earth and fulfilling moment.

Being the last summer of my undergraduate years, I’ve given myself sufficient time to consider about my future to set things clear. Having to talk about myself with family and friends makes me feel like a grown up, but keeping them from everything they should know about me is not the way I love them, because they are such an important piece in my life. They complete me more than anyone else.

It's just the right time for confession this summer, and I'm glad that, I'm back with a stronger heart after everything.

Eyelash extension

2011-06-21T00:27:00.003+08:00

So, I tried on eyelash extension for the first time in my life. Those people who’ve known me well should know that I’m not an entirely up-to-date person when it comes to girly things because there are just so many new services and things creeping into our daily lives, far more than I can handle! Therefore, I won’t be aware of the new services/treatments available in town for beautification purpose but I’d rather stick to the few areas that I usually keep an eye on to beautify myself, like fashion and make up which are enough to eat up my time.

Gah, I’ve nobody to blame but myself, I’m just lazy!

My sister gave me this coupon for eyelash extension that she bought earlier and I thought I would just give it a try since it’s free. Why not? Ugly also for a while only mah~~~~~~~~

Surprisingly,eyelash extension is absolutely painless because all I had to do was just closing my eyes throughout the process, just so that the beautician could put the eyelash on my eyelash strand by strand. The result was surely effective as I could now feel the burden on my eyes because of the new members. Also, my eyes look dolly all the time, as if I had put on eyeliner because of those black eyelash strands, so I'd say that the effect is quite obvious.

The only flaw is just the maintenance part, since the fake lashes can’t come in contact with water. That means…… I’ve to change my habit in splashing water on my face while I wash it and use cotton pad and wipe off the foam/milk carefully. Ah, that is so annoying! I just hope that my face won’t be like a strawberry after all, I want my taufu face all the time okay!

But...but...but... I can now go to Seoul looking pretty and spending less time to draw eyeliner. Hahaha, just stay tuned for my new batch of photos if you want to take a deeper look on my eyes, comes with nice sceneries summore,see I’m so humble! *joking joking* I shall blog once more before I leave, adios!

A new accomplishment

2011-06-19T01:01:00.004+08:00

So, this is the project I've been talking about since last month- the 2NE1 lonely cover contest. I can’t believe how long it has taken me to an extent where I had to abandon most of the regular activities to accomplish this. I think the product is the best I could come out with after working on it for almost a month. I just scooped out a huge part of myself to make this happen, and when I think about it, I still feel very excited in making impossible things possible, despite of the frustration and stress undergone throughout the project.

Speaking about script writing, musical arrangement and directing, everything just seemed to be so new to me and I dare not put myself together with these things last time. In fact, this is my first audio-taped instrumental performance because I've not tried to compose a medley and recorded it before. Since I've never let that thought slip in me, I knew that the task was going to be challenging the moment I decided to give it a try.But still, I gave it all out and did my best to keep up with the faith. I felt so incredible to witness the entire transformation from a truckload of ideas to the formation of the actual product.

Let alone of the result, I’m glad to have started on this project because it boasts up my confidence and triggers some musical inspirations in me. I can sense the musical growth in me and that is really one of my ultimate goals. Although I’m not sure how far we could go in this competition, the new things that I’ve picked up along the way are great enough to make me a winner. The togetherness and self growth is just so significant and makes me feel proud.

Thank you everyone for making this happen, you've brought up another side of me and I really appreciate the opportunity. This is just a start, and I know that there's much more to be discovered in me in terms of music.

Do have good thoughts, because thoughts will turn into things!

2011-05-31T21:20:00.002+08:00

I’ve been having runny nose since last week and it seems to be unstoppable. Seriously, the amounts of tissues I’ve created make me feel guilty! I might as well start using handkerchief if the stubborn mucus doesn’t go away by this week.

Credits to PY.

Otherwise, my life is good as it is, with the increasing workload starting from June. I’ve been trying to keep up with 2 outings per week in May so that I can do my job as a part-time babysitter responsibly while having fun with my friends. Also, I’m caught up with the competition for its music arrangement and script writing, to an extent which the thought of striving for a better performance worries me sometimes. I always try to calm myself down by enjoying the entire experience as much as possible, just to ensure that I’ve learnt something new even though the result may not be what I’ve desired.

Gladly, I’ve been receiving a lot of support from my friends, some people are genuinely impressed with my musical ability, while the others are more focused on the mental and physical support. Seriously, I feel very touched for everything, you guys may not know how much all these mean to me, but they really keep me working harder to better myself.

On a side note, I’ve just met up with an old friend today and he complimented on my changes. He said I’m a tough cookie, but to me, he is always on par with me when it comes to toughness. Instead of keeping my head so high up for the compliment, I’d say that gaining strength is a must to everyone to stay in the competition. Thoughts turn into things, and if you want to stop tragedies from happening to you and influence your life continuously, then leave them out of the game and patch up the hole with yourself and other important people and things.

适时取舍，清扫心灵，告别过去，消除忧虑，大步向前

Trust me, it really works!

Life as a multi-tasker

2011-05-26T14:22:00.003+08:00

I’m giving all out to music this summer break and devoting a lot of time in composing my own music pieces besides learning about music editing, not only for the sake of competition but also for my own collection. This is not something that I would love to show off ostentatiously because my skills are definitely not matured enough to be proud of, and I’m still in the progress to make this happen. Summer break is the only time where I have full flexibility to unleash my inspiration and put them into words and melody. Therefore, realizing my ideas instead of allowing them flying in my all day long is what my day is really about nowadays!

I’ve actually had a lot of ideas in mind since last time, so it’s just a matter of time and determination to realize my ideas. Everything can be a source of inspiration to me, a tiny sound or touching story etcetera, and I give myself sufficient time to expand on it everyday. Most importantly, I don’t deny about my creativity and the fire in me for music anymore, I unleash them instead.I really want to know how far I could go when I take music seriously.

My recent source of inspiration is G-Dragon’s music.I'm genuinely impressed by his musical creativity and imagination because there are just so many possibilities in his music, to an extent that it gives you a very good picture about the story he is trying to deliver.

OHH I LOVE GD!!!*becoming a fangirl suddenly, blush blush*

Inspirations and hard work are really my valuable assets when it comes to music.

Not only that, I’m also writing script for the first time to prepare for the competition. This is an absolutely new experience to me and I’ve known nothing better than to extract some ideas from tones and tones of music videos, and allow the scenes I’ve created to play in my mind over and over again. Wow, I’ve finally gotten a taste of the frustration of scarce resources throughout this process. I ain’t no perfectionist but having to consider about combined constraints like equipments, time, and results are really killing me sometimes.

Having said that, please please stay tuned for my first music video still, I think it’ll be out in a few weeks time.

Had baking session with mom last week to make up for the lack of CNY cookies I had eaten for the past 3 years. Baking session can be quite painful when it’s done alone, I’ve tried it before and it was extremely exhausting!! However, it’s a totally different story when it comes to baking with a few people since it can turn out to be a fun memory with more people sharing the work.

OOO I haven’t had homemade peanut cookies in years and my mom’s loving act has really melted my heart. She always has a place for me despite of her busy babysitting life, and I truly appreciate that.

I’ve been working out frequently thesedays, and I’m pretty satisfied with the outcome with 2 KGs being lost in 3 weeks. I just have to work hard to shred off another 2 KGs for my ideal weight. Turning my gear on for diet again, and I think this will be my life-time goal.

Of course, how can I miss out these 2 kids when it comes to summer break. Jo Kenn has grown up so much and looks slightly different from the previous pictures.

Babysitting can be quite frustrating at times with the lack of freedom and time. It does enable the thought of giving up on having babies in future to grow in my mind during frustration. And then I’ll come to a self-dilemma and start hating myself for having such a selfish thought. I often think that people who have perfect picture about marriage and children at my age have yet to see the real picture to destroy their ideal thoughts, because I used to think like them too! It’s only until I started getting in touch with children all day long and this experience brings about drastic changes in my thoughts.

Perhaps, I’m not as matured as these people when it comes to handling family issues. I really hope that this is just a phase and I’ll eventually get used to it someday.

Calm down, calm down!! I can do it!

Working hard as always

2011-05-22T21:28:00.006+08:00

Took this on the last day of February, Eu and I were too excited about the snow. I really love this photo because it looks very artistic and poetic, like I was longing for something when I was just pretending. It’s sad to note that my very own photographer is leaving Vancouver soon, and that would mean lesser photo shooting sessions since she’s the best when it comes to capturing different sides of me. She’s just the best!!

Came across with this song a few months back and I really like it, it resembles my past in some ways.

I’m glad that I’ve drawn myself to happiness after 1.5 years of effort. It’s not just about individual effort and I can’t thank enough for those who have walked me through the dark, since it wasn’t something that I could take it easily and wipe off instantly. These hands are so precious because they have taught me that it’s okay to have false belief and tumble down, but never inhibit yourself from a brighter future and better life. Physical self is now recovered despite of the scar, but I’m still happy with the rejuvenated life and finally developed the courage to draw a line between things I should and should not associate with.

每一道傷痕都是紀念自己勇敢的印記。
在愛情裡，依然憧憬，繼續夢想，幸福其實離我們很近。

Close chapter officially. I will continue to work hard. =)

Most motivated summer break.

2011-05-16T22:24:00.004+08:00

I’ve never felt this organized before during my break, I feel like I’m following a constant schedule I set for myself just so that I spend my time wisely. Everything is progressing smoothly fortunately. Indeed, I’ve never been learning so many things before during break time like this, so much that I actually feel excited about all the new things coming to me. As a late 21 year old, I would love to maximize my time for beneficial things rather than pure luxury in summer.

It’s all about improvement and achievement this time.

Although I’m shuffling my time among family, friends, and myself, I can never get bored of the time when I’m home because there are just so many activities that are attainable to me even at home. I sweat, study, try out new things, have fun and be inspired by all these things continuously. As much as I'm exhausted with the activities, I'm always rejuvenated by the wonderful time with BFFs weekly as a sweet retreat.

Who says we can only waste time at home? You have yet to know about the awesomeness of home.

For the first time in summer, I’m feeling very healthy about the lifestyle I’m following.

I think, I still love the feeling of being somebody to myself and challenge myself with new things from time to time. Most of us have the learning power to be what we want to be, so it’s just a matter of how you activate the button to make it happen.

‘Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are seeds. You can either grow flowers or weeds.’

I chose a colourful garden, thus I’ve already started all the gardening work. And you?

Plans for May

2011-05-12T11:31:00.000+08:00

It’s the time of the year again for our BFF reunion. Seeing them brings me an indescribable sense of comfort and security, that’s simply because they know me much better than myself, I daresay. Being the last Summer break for most of us as a Student, I think this summer is going to be extremely precious to us since it’s the last time we can enjoy all the student privileges.

Cost of graduation= no discounted movie tickets and karaoke

This summer is also my busiest break with so many plans ahead of me, but I’m definitely enjoying it delightfully because I know I would have accomplished much after the break, knowledge and experience wise. This is my plan for May:

1. Diet.
Oh my god, my life has always been in a dilemma! People either say that I’m quite skinny or I’m fat. As much as I’m confused with the contrast, what upsets me the most is hearing the remark of me looking bigger-sized than a guy, when I consider myself a distance away from 'big sized'. Anyway, criticisms are only going to make me better, and I won't wait for another inflow of criticisms to come. So,I will lose some weight healthily until I don’t hear anything negative about my size anymore. Diet go go go!

2. Hangul.
I can read most of the words for now, thus I’m working on the vocabulary and sentence structures by watching online videos. I’ve a competition with Xin on our Hangul proficiency at the end of the break, and I've faith in myself to do well when I’m very determined to pull off something. I decided to self-learn make it more challenging, so please stay tuned my rival!
=P Good luck on your summer Korean class too!

3. Music composition.
It’s just a continuation on what I’ve been doing for a few months now. I’m also learning to play piano without music sheets to train my ears. I believe that mastering this skill will enhance my music composition to make them sound more vibrant and smooth. Wish me luck, peeps!

4. Nihon-go
Although I’m focusing more on Hangul now, it doesn’t mean that I neglect Japanese completely since my goal is to master both languages in 5 years time. So, I’m revising my past textbooks nowadays and planning to take the JLPT before going on to the next level. I once told a friend that I can expand my career opportunities in Asia with the 7 languages I’ll soon master, since I’ve always wished to work in different countries in future as a way to travel to different parts of the world. Of course, I understand that opportunities do not drop by without efforts being made, so I’m equipping myself from time to time to make myself a better rival to the others.

Keeping myself busy is the most efficient way to keep me motivated and make good use of the break time. After learning a bit about emotion management, I realized spending my time with worthy people always brings the best out of me and makes me feel calm. That's what matters to me at this stage of life.

Live life, love life, then only can I bring myself to my dreams.

P/S: Photography by PY, arigatou!

Christmas in Disneyland California

2011-05-05T12:13:00.006+08:00

Disneyland California was one of the stops during my California winter trip, it was also the second Disneyland I visited after Disneyland Tokyo. Being the loyal Disney fan, I’m very proud to say that I had been growing up together with the Disney family, and I’m still joining my niece and nephews for Disney cartoons occasionally without getting bored of them. Come to think of it, I’m so glad for the presence of these cute characters in my childhood because they brought me tonnes of joyous childhood moments and left me with very good impression on cartoons in general. At least they are not some no-brainer programmes parents use to stalk time or distract their children so that they can do their own things. That’s how I learned the names of various animals by remembering Mickey MOUSE and Donald DUCK etcetera to build up a good foundation to start kindergarden. Also, some Disney cartoons are quite educational indeed as they consist of many morally right values, apart from some other ones which test children on their mathematical and scientific skills.

Hahaha, Disney please hire me as an ambassador, I can definitely do an excellent promoting job!

Anyway, we went there a day after Christmas, thus the crowd was still huge due to the seasonal holiday. The huge crowd affected our schedule by a whole lot and we ended up playing a few rides only because of the nasty queue.
Even taking pictures with mascot also required a super-long queue ok!! Everything seems to be so precious in Disneyland.
That makes pre-planning important with so many events and shows going on in a day, so we picked a few shows of our interests and had rides in between these shows, in hope to maximize our fun times in this wonderland. It was slightly ruined in the end as some shows had very limited seats to cater everybody, so we had to pick up Plan B – the spontaneous plan by taking rides with fewest people and watching shows that fit our timing.

Everybody please take a look at this ferris wheel carefully, can you notice the difference? This was the nastiest ferris wheel I had ever taken in my life, because the carts weren’t fixed in a specific location, so it would slide from one end to the other end as the ride was in motion. OMG, can you imagine the carts sliding from left to right at the top of the wheel continuously? It was just a nasty idea for an acrophobia person! Fortunately, I had my friends who joked with me at that time, if not I would have just closed my eyes for the entire ride, that’s for sure!

Honestly I wanted the Disney hats so much, was even thinking of getting a few for my nephews but the cost was a bomb, so I did it in an economical way- taking pictures. Sorry kids!

I feel you, bug!! It’s also tough to be a human.

Okay, this workshop caught my eyes as it provides information on the process of Disney animation. You can see a frame of animation which comprises of hundred of slides or so when you rotate the handle or the ball, it’ll show a series of step-by-step motion of the Disney characters. I’m so amazed with the skills these Disney’s graphic designers possess after seeing all these crazy work.

After struggling with the long line-ups for half a day, we gave up queuing for rides in the end and decided to wait for the Christmas parade in the evening. Taking pictures is definitely the best way to leave as much memories as possible to compensate with the lack of thrilling mechanical rides experience.

Finally the Christmas parade was here! I couldn’t really take a lot of pictures as the Disney characters were moving too quickly. Thus I took some time off camera to enjoy the Christmas atmosphere with Christmas carols re-sounding the otherwise busy street.I believe that living in Disneyland is many girls’ dream with fantasies embracing every corner of this wonderland. Seriously, even a street looked so dreamy and fancy, as if you could just build a hut there and live for the rest of your life.

Okay okay *slap self*, I know that this is way too impossible, but that’s how most girls will sink into the fantasies the moment they step into Disneyland.

Our whole Disneyland experience was very unforgettable, and it even ended with an epic moment. I had the most epic fireworks-watching experience in my life!

Why said so? Because it started raining right before the show. We watched it under heavy rain without any shade nor raincoat, the fireworks were shooting to the sky while the raindrops pouring on everyone of us simultaneously. So irony I know, but how could you leave Disneyland without watching the signature Disney fireworks at night?

No way, the rain could not water off our enthusiasm for fireworks! Fortunately the performance did not disappoint us, everything was just incredible except for the rain, and we definitely paid a physical price for the awesomeness, since some of us fell unwell on the next day.

Never mind, how many times in life can you actually watch fireworks in rain right? It would probably be my one and only.

My Disneyland California visit wasn’t an entirely pleasant experience,but I blame the crowd and weather for bringing down my excitement by a bit and caused me to prefer Disneyland Tokyo visit over it. Well, it wasn’t an uncontrollable decision due to our packed schedule and 26th seemed to be the ideal date for our visit. Hopefully I could visit another Disneyland in summer next time and make up for the things I missed out during this trip.

That very well predicts my next Disneyland trip---Disneyworld Florida.

梦想

2011-04-29T06:58:00.001+08:00

梦想是很抽象的东西，有些人不努力实现它，只因为害怕面对现实与梦想之间的差距。当梦寐以求的机会真正来临时，自己却开始怀疑起自身的能力而停滞不前。有些人一辈子只为了一个梦想而活，在他们的世界里，没梦想就好像是在过着没意义的人生。也有些人，梦想里夹杂了很多外在因素，梦想对他们来说，是很复杂的东西，也并不是单靠个人意愿就能实践的想法。我跟欣就是属于这一类型的人。对我们来说，梦想，不仅仅是梦想而已。

我并不是输不起的人，也并没有雄心大志。这并不是因为我害怕输的感觉，而是经历过数次失去与输的感觉之后，我开始感觉到它的渺小与变幻无测的结果，这些都不是我能操纵的范围。输赢并不可怕，可怕的是输掉自己与失败后的一蹶不振，但只要经历过那个阶段，就会重生，也会对世界多了另外一种看法。我的人生的成功不再与‘大志’与‘输赢’挂钩，而是偏向于丰富心灵的收获与简单朴实的幸福感为主。我能够扮演好的角色，就是深思熟虑每一步，再从梦想与身边珍贵的人与事物取个平衡点，以尽量不伤害别人为前提来实践我的梦想。梦想对我来说，并不一定是站在顶端享受着胜利滋味的瞬间；梦想对我来说，只是单纯地为了完成自己喜欢的事情而存在的使命。很多人都觉得拥有远大的包袱才是真正拥有梦想的人，但凡事都必须拥有大小两面才能够得到平衡，大志也只能在小志的扶持与衬托下才能发挥它最大的作用，这是人生的定律，缺一不可。很多事情都是始于一小步，再逐渐迈向一大步才会发生的，如果没有当初的一小步，那之后的一大步也会相对消失。

我只是觉得，很多梦想都是自身对未来的预测，也是能够随时间与耐性所完成的使命。喜欢让梦想保留于梦想的人，应该就是缺少了耐心与最精髓的冒险感，在面对未知的恐惧时，突然感觉到自己的渺小而觉得梦想不是能够被实现的事情。与其对大家说所有梦想都能够被实现这类的谎言，我觉得能够吸取当中的希望与精神再为自己喜欢的事情而努力，这也是一种对梦想所付出的努力。梦想并不一定需要对全世界的人做出无比非凡的影响力，它也可以专属于一个人的人生，承载着他一生奋斗的故事。梦想，很多时候，都不是件很遥远的事情，是大家无意间把它扩大，延伸到它貌似遥不可及的地步。

其实，梦想，一直都在你的身边。

First on-cruise dinner in Vancouver

2011-04-12T03:11:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday was a good good night. I was honoured to become my housemate’s ‘partner’ for her graduation dinner. To begin with the story, she actually tempted me with the chocolate fondue fountain available at the cruise dinner, so I nodded my head without any sense of hesitation, not even a bit after hearing ‘chocolate fountain’! I knew I would have regretted much if I didn’t attend it, not mainly because of the sweet sensation, but ….

I DIDN’T WANT TO MISS THE CHANCE TO SEE EU IN DRESS! That was a huge price to pay relatively to the extra revision hours I would have gotten by mugging at home, her transformation was just way too huge for me to say no.

Seriously, she never failed in impressing me. I felt like my eyes grew an inch bigger the first time seeing her in a formal dress and looking so feminine! Hahah, that was exaggerating of course, but you know the kind of feeling when someone surprises you with something they haven’t done before since the day you’ve met them, that was how I felt.

So I became the make-up and hair stylist of the day to makeover Eu. It wasn’t entirely a difficult task because she preferred a simple style with minimized chemicals on her face, so I just fulfilled her desire with my tools. I think I took even longer time satisfying myself since I tried on a new hairstyle on that day. I made a side twist with a bun at the end of the hair. Hooo, I was so glad that I made it! Might consider doing my own hair and make up on my sis’s wedding.

I’m so glad that I’m being trusted by my girlfriends on my fashion sense and styling skills thesedays, and some of them even put their hands on me for a makeover. It’s only until recently when people started asking about my opinions on fashion, cosmetics, as well as styling which make me feel like I've been developing some new ideas on these things along the way. To me, the basic in fashion is still finding your own style and the attires which fit you best, then only branch out to various styles from the attires you’ve picked earlier. It’s barely about the price, because you make your clothes valuable by carrying them well, that is the market and social price you set on the clothes, instead of letting the pricy clothes to have a control over you. I guess it is a never-ending route for me as well, which is why I’m always absorbing new knowledge all the time. You just have to be inspired by all sorts of things and let them take their tolls on you, then only will you blossom from these inspirations that you get.

I won’t coin myself the term ‘fashionista’ or a skilful stylist, but I’m definitely one of a kind who will scrutinize myself to bring out the potentials in me, for the sake of my own happiness and confidence.

Another interesting thing on that night was the taking-photo encounter. So I met Eu’s friend who’s also majoring in Economics, she was speaking Cantonese to Eu all the while, and when she turned back to me, she hold back for a while and paused. She had that ‘ are you Korean?’ kind of look, and then I decided to break the ice by speaking Cantonese to her and explained myself for the 1849059202 times in my life. Funny enough, she actually took a picture with me at the end of the day because she thought that I look like Kara’s Goo Hara, so she could show off to her friends with our picture! Oklah, I personally don’t think so but I still feel happy to be flattered in such a way, since I’m definitely no way near Goo Hara. I’m happy enough to be mistaken in a good way.

Anyway, back to the main topic, the foods served were dull enough to be forgotten, I’d say, but I still love the night after immersing myself into the mugging world for a few days, and going to hold for 2 weeks after it. It was a good break in the midst of a tough battle. Also, it was my first on-cruise dinner in Vancouver, so it was still exciting to me to enjoy the dinner and Vancouver’s evening view simultaneously. I’ve had uncountable memories in this city, far more than the reasons for me to hate this rainy place, thus I do feel attached to it in a unique way sometimes, despite from all the homesickness I’ve to bear with at the other end of the string. Perhaps that is just the price of growing up, to try out new life experiences, believe with a pure mind, maximize every possibility, and glow with a fond heart lastly.

April’s fool? Naww, April’s Oreo!!

2011-04-08T11:15:00.002+08:00

My first mission in April was to bake a birthday cake for Eu. I’m not really a handicapped when it comes to baking, but making a whole cake entirely by myself was definitely my first experience. However, we wanted to make this birthday a memorable one since it would be the last birthday we celebrate together for Eu in Vancouver before she graduates.Being the experience’less’ twosome, Blackangel and I decided to challenge ourselves with our first cake-baking experience, exclusively for our beloved ex-2614 housemate.

We made it a late-night project since it was the assignments’ peak at this time of the month, so we as the ‘good’ students did our best to balance between friends and studies *chuckles*. It was however a busy day for me because I only started hunting for ingredients on the same day, while doing my grocery shopping simultaneously. Hahah, I couldn’t believe myself switching from Daiso to an asian supermarket, followed by a western supermarket as my ultimate stop in 4 hours,just to make sure that I get everything that I needed! Gah, Vancouver can be quite a troublesome place in doing food shopping sometimes, when everything is so far apart, and when I don’t have a CAR! *sigh*

I chose to bake oreo cheesecake since it’s the easiest cheesecake to make for a new baker like me, moreover it only requires refrigeration to solidify the cake, so I don’t even have to give a head on the possibility of baking a burnt product, although the cheesecake itself is already black enough! I would be way too embarrassed to give something which looks and tastes so unpleasant to my friend.

Tada, so here was the final product which didn’t look quite bad after all *grins*. Although blackangel considered it as a shit-look-alike NICE cake, I still take it as a compliment out of her ‘harshness’. Don’t be too proud with your ‘lipidized’ apple cake and look down on the cake which is made from your best buddy- Mr.oreo okay! =P

Blackangel's apple cake

We had a simple birthday celebration with the birthday girl by chilling out at blackangel’s place on a Sunday afternoon, which pretty much matched with Eu’s homely birthday celebration style. I really like it when the three of us have heart-to-heart talk and let every conversation ends in the same room we have it. It’s not easy to find trustworthy people to talk to nowadays, there are often times when I lose faith in people whom I’ve trusted so so much, and picking up my broken belief is what I usually get in the end. It’s not that I’m blaming them for what they have done to me, but I’ve learned a vital lesson about trust in the end, that you have to select your friends carefully and create your own circle to keep up with the trust.It all comes down to simple math again, where addition and deduction of things are the two rules to derive an ultimate answer for your life choices, so you really have to evaluate your standpoint from time to time to get the true call for your desired life. Faith is the call I possess for the people I choose to include in my life, and I’m lucky enough to have found lovely people who are willing to accept my premium trait wholeheartedly.This is my destiny, and I’m accepting it as it is, undoubtedly.

Seems like the birthday girl really liked our surprise, as I got rewarded red bean soup at night!

Happy Belated once again, Eu猪猪！

p/s: For those of you who are interested in the cheesecake recipe, you can refer to this website:

http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/topic/14690-unbaked-oreo-cheesecake/

March Part (II)

2011-04-05T12:41:00.005+08:00

I always welcome creative ideas into my world by living creatively. My brain sparked up a little firework this month because I’ve thought of a new way to wish someone’s happy birthday. Instead of writing message on a regular birthday card, I draw it on marshmallows by using food markers. They add emotions to the foods and fancy the foods as well, don't they?

Hmm,looks like I’m becoming a real food person at all means! Well, I think that's one of a skill as well, to live, eat, and enjoy everything creatively whenever we can.

I’ve spent quite a bit on cosmetics lately, mainly to enhance my make-up skills with the newly bought cosmetic products. I finally had the urge to buy a 100-colour palette after strengthening my foundation skills for a year, as I never felt the necessity of having various eye-shadow colours when I first touched on the art of making up. That was normal to me because I didn't even know the correct way to apply eye-shadow when I was still a make-up newbie, therefore I would definitely go for eyeliners over eye shadows at that time.

But yes, humans need progression, and so do my make-up skills! Therefore, I should really have more faith in myself and get a hand on other slightly complicating make-up steps in future.

The only downside in March was getting to know that my aunt had made her journey to the heaven a few weeks back. Seeing someone so close to us leaving is always saddening, but I’ve come to realize that the only thing I could do to alleviate the pain for her loss is to live well and keep her spirit with me all the time. She didn’t mean to leave us tears of sorrow solely, perhaps her perseverance till the very end of her journey on earth was the message she wanted to leave us- live life till the very end, for there’s a season for everything. It is a hard phase to me, but I try to take it as a form of liberation to her in good means as well as another happy journey in the wonderland. Thus, I will reincarnate after the moments of condolences, for her, for myself, and for everyone who has been struggling so hard to simply make a living.

March Part (I)

2011-03-31T02:56:00.000+08:00

Eu: I wanna become Batman!
Me: Ehhh good idea, I want that too!! ( started opening up my sweater widely)!
Eu: Weih, who's going to take photo if both of us were batmen?
Me: Hmm true also....*slowly buttoning up my sweater again, sob*

So that's the story of the Batman and......a photgrapher.

Anyway, March is another lovely and slightly sunny month to me. I finally forked out some time for a Stanley Park walk with Eu last Saturday. Eu and I have been housemates for almost 2 years now, and there isn’t any side of mine that she has not seen before, that obviously includes my nocturnal bruxism, occasional blurness as well as my super messy look after sleep. I think exposing the ugliest side of ours to each other is what our friendship is truly about, as these imperfections make our bonds more beautiful naturally.

She is graduating this year and I’m really happy to see her completing the first stage of her life. Although that will also mark the official end of our experience of living together, I think we’ve done a great job in making our unit as homely as we could in these 2 years, and I haven’t been having this sense of security for quite a while since first year.

Thank you for instilling all the good habits in me all these while, I’m pretty sure that there’ll still be a minor reflection of you in me even when we’re apart. This is how I appreciate our friendship, within the heart and beyond the distance. Happy graduating my friend!

I’ve spent a significant amount of time immersing myself into music composition recently. The ability of writing 3 songs in 2 weeks has shed a light on me for my writing potential. If I count describe my current life in words, it would be the kind of life where I have a pencil and paper beside me all the time for me to jog down all my thoughts , even before I sleep, as that's actually the peak time of my musical inspiration! I believe this is a good start for me after 10 years, and it gives me a great push to sharpen my technical skills musically. That is definitely going to be my tentative plan this summer- more time on piano and guitar.

It’s funny how composing music is leading a domino effect in me because I’ve recently found a better way to develop my singing skills. I’m not a skilful singer, but I’ve figured out an appropriate breathing method to deliver my voice for songs that I once thought they did not suit my range. It feels like something dawned on me and I’m getting an insight of singing from my own perspective in a sudden.

Maybe, confidence really makes things work miraculously.

March is a month with moderate workload, considering the fact that I’m used to the life of submitting weekly assignments, and so life which consists of a consistent workload is not problematic to me anymore. I’m doing my best to divert stress into positive energy flow and let the strength encourages me in the long run. Seeking for strength is always part of the mission in my life because that is the just the foundation of life, as most of the bigger things usually start out with the strength and determination to make them attainable.

p/s: I think I’m getting better at creating cheat sheets because I can freely adjust my font size with a consistent flow nowadays.

激发潜能中

2011-03-29T05:43:00.013+08:00

Credits to superb photographer Ai Vern.

曾经听过别人说，活得更自信美丽就是对伤害你的人最好的报复。

某程度来说，我觉得这种心态很正面，毕竟拥有精彩的人生最终得益的还是自己。与其说是报复，我觉得那是战胜自己心魔的一种表现，因为自己终于愿意放下包袱去发掘其他的可能性，只有在放下怨恨的同时，才是灿烂人生的开始。我相信每个人的体内都流淌着无限的可能性，只要专研下去就会有更大的爆发力。22岁的我，很庆幸地激发了自己一部分的潜能，正迈入人生的另一个阶段。当自己愿意去了解另外一面的自己的时候，那才是人生刚开始要绽放的时期，因为我愿意为了自己而相信自己的能力，心甘情愿的，毫不犹豫的踏上新的旅途。

我并不是一个很容易被刺激到的人，可是当我真正被激发的时候，我内心所散发出来的爆发力一定不小。那是因为我会不断地磨练自己，一直到我表现得比我想象中还要好为止。只要我还抱着这份自信的一天，我就会不惧艰辛地努力下去，那是我对人生的一种态度---先准备好自己来迎接世界。与其说这是怕输，我更害怕令自己失望，活在自怜的状态中，因为我人生最不缺的就是同情。如果有一天，我成功了，我也不会因此而贬低那些曾经伤害我的人，因为比起对他们的揶揄，我更喜欢用表现来证明自己，沉浸在那种无声胜有声的感觉。那些人无需得到我的原谅，也无需做出任何的弥补，因为在他们伤害我的同时就早已选择性地忽略我的感受。既然选择了不在乎，那也无需执着于自己的道歉能否换得到别人的体谅。往好的一方面想，他们的存在造就了一个更坚强与自信的我，而我也只需要专心地走接下来的路就好。只要我在得到别人的认同之前，先达到了自己的要求，那就是对我最重要的事。

最近的我，终于再次提笔创作，尝试从不同曲风的歌曲中摄入更多的灵感。说起音乐创作，我在12岁的时候就开始写了自己的第一本歌词本，当时我把很多想法都写在里头，名副其实地让它成为了一本有词没曲的音乐册。一直到18岁，在我心情最糟到透顶的时候，就涌出了生平的第一首曲，只为了一个人。只是当时的我，没能相信自己的创作能力，所以也没有继续坚持地发挥更多潜在的音乐本能。21岁那年，我又开始了词曲创作，把自己最深处的感受都零零散散地写下来，让它们承载着我当时的回忆。22岁的我，只希望能找回当年12岁的自己，单纯地因为喜欢音乐而记录下我专属的音乐旅程。我希望，就算在没有外来刺激的情况下，我还是能够善用自己的灵感来谱出一首又一首的作品。从某个角度来说，这对我也是崭新的开始，没有任何顾虑的，只为了自己热诚而存在的潜能。

断断续续地走了10年才决定再重拾的兴趣，现在再努力下去应该也不迟吧！

嗯，有心就不会有迟到的一天

Santa Monica

2011-03-20T12:14:00.006+08:00

Santa Monica beach was one of my favourite places during the LA trip, it was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve seen so far. As you all know, I’ve always been a beach lover and I enjoy going to beach as much as I enjoy playing piano.Beach is also a source of my inspiration, musically and mentally,thus I find no difficulty sitting down on a beach chilling out for hours just to get myself into thinking.

Fortunately, we still made our way here despite of the one-hour bus trip. After days of raining in LA, Mr.Sun finally showed up and shed some light on us, giving us a sunny Christmas. Thank you for your generosity, Mr.Sun!!

My Christmas 2010 was a total luxury with the spectacular beach view, relaxing people and seafood fiesta, what more could I ask for?

The last time I actually sat on a beach happened 3 years ago, which was also the last trip I had with my BFFs before I went off for my tertiary education. The moment where 4 of us slept on the beach side by side, watching the stars while chatting about our future plans is still so vivid in my mind, as if they just happened yesterday.

We’ve grown up so much and made a huge progress along the path towards our future, that’s one thing I’m always grateful of. We always grow up together regardless of the geographical distance, and we are still standing together for the 11th year, thank you my beloved BFFs, for this growing process consists of too many memorable moments that are beyond words of silence, within the love of heart and support from the core.

Some people asked me: “Why would you want to take picture of your shoes out of so many things in Santa Monica?”

A pair of good shoes will bring you to places you’ve wanted to go and accompany you in chasing your dreams. Have you ever had the thought that they are always sharing your burden and slaving for you silently without questioning your destination?

They’ve so much faith in you all the while, how can I not give credit to them?

I love you, my shoes, you've brought me so far to see the things that I wanted to see.I sincerely hope that you felt the same way as I did for Santa Monica.

Can't wait to embark on the LOTR and Big Bang journey!

2011-03-16T15:25:00.003+08:00

My second summer trip of the year is finally confirmed, courtesy to Air Asia promotion which thrilled me so much in finalizing my plan. I’m so excited even from pure imagination of the LOTR filming locations, breathtaking scenery as well as relaxing lifestyle, not to mention my darling Valerie and her bungy have been waiting for me for 3+ years!! OOOOOO I'm finally meeting them after such a long time!

This summer is going to be super awesome with two blasting trips. I’m equally anticipating for my Big Bang trip as well since it’s my first time travelling abroad with the BFFs, being with them always generates a lot of fun time to me. Second reason which makes me so excited about this trip should be the wide range of Korean cosmetics available there at a cheaper price as compared to K.L, thus it’s definitely the time for me to replenish my stock for the year again! Third reason should be the thought of visiting the origin country of my favourite Korean band and male-Big Bang and Siwon, not like I’m going to bump into them, but just the thought of being in the same place and visiting places they’ve been before slightly excites me.

Oklah, let’s hope that I’ll bump into them still and utilize my oh-so-fluent Korean language to greet them. They somehow thrill me to learn Korean, besides the people who mistakenly thought I’m their compatriot when I’m not, I feel like learning Korean just to explain myself and apologize to them appropriately.

I just can’t wait to embark on these journeys! Although an additional trip also means extra expenses for me, I’m doing as much paid studies and online surveys as I could to earn money, literally, since I’m not working a part-time job. I’m a little fall behind on my savings plan, so hopefully I can catch up as much as I can in these two months.

Two big summer trips are going to do me just fine this year, as I feel like spending the rest of my break with family and friends while enjoying my time in my beautiful homeland as much as possible. I would love to slack at home just to chat with my mom and siblings to make up for the time and accompaniment when I wasn’t home. To me, their smiles are the biggest fireworks of my summer. Also, I’ve many plans lining up this summer, mainly taking courses like Jap class, photo shooting, gym and probably dancing to upgrade myself. It’s a holiday after all, thus making myself happy and accomplished is the whole point of it.

Yes, it's all about me, family, and my fellow darlings this year.

Be smart, be patient, and be humble

2011-03-14T12:32:00.005+08:00

From up to bottom, left to right:
1. Unagi rice 2. Ton Katsu Carbonara 3. Pineapple tarts 4.Potato pancakes with Bolognese sauce

The above recipes are the new things I’ve learned/invented in these two months, and I’m getting more and more satisfied with myself in cooking. Eu says I’m a 99% woman for now with all the skills I’m equipped, and that 1% flaw derives from my sewing skills because I’m still very bad at it, no jokes on that!! Sometimes, I’ve to re-sew my sweater twice because they’re loosely attached even after sewing.

I'm always thankful for the opportunity to study abroad in exchange for all of the aforementioned skills.Studying abroad is really a golden opportunity in my life as it brings out the best in me and expands the possibilities that I never thought I would have achieved. It’s only till then that I’ve learned to be an independent person and do my best in sharpening all of my skills to better myself. Ultimately, I’ve picked up an important lesson about victory along the journey- not to be the cream of the crops among the others but consistently challenging myself for what I aim for. I believe that’s the attitude which leads me to a happy path because I feel happy when I achieve my goals , and I’m barely upset when someone overtakes me or criticizes me for who I am. I prefer making the silent move by proving myself through excellent performances, as that’s the way I evaluate myself but not a benchmark for more people to attack on.

Just be smart, be patient and be humble! Do not allow your mouth to do the evil but let your performance do the justice. Give time time as it will prove yourself the best.

Last day of 2010

2011-03-10T05:57:00.011+08:00

Last year’s new year eve was a memorable one for me, as I had my first biking experience during my trip in San Francisco.I had always wanted to try out on a biking trip because surrounding the city by bike would give an insight of the city than bussing or walking around it. I was overjoyed on how we made the last day of the year a different one, in a different place, with a whole new experience.

It was a windy and cold winter, cold enough for my fingers to freeze when biking under weather as such, but the scenery definitely made my trip a worthy one. It was also a good time to reminiscent on the highlights of the year along the biking trip. I concluded 2010 as a year for maturity and mental strength gain because I’ve learned a lot about myself and the people around me last year. 2010 wasn’t quite a joyful year to me, and those things that collapsed in front of me did depress me a lot. However, gaining mature thoughts and making a step closer to the reality weren’t a bad thing after all from an optimistic point of view. The gains definitely outweighed the losses and fortunately I’m back to myself again, standing at the position that best fits me after all the rainstorm.

So here I was, with no fancy countdown celebration and crazy crowd, but the magnificent Golden Gate bridge together with a spectacular sunset on the last day of 2010. Somehow, I found joy in this way of celebrating new year's eve.

Although I did not pull off the year gracefully, I ended 2010 in a good way to the very least.

Before the arrival of a brand new year, I reminded myself not to bring forward any unnecessary emotions and avoid provoking depression, besides calming myself and learn to communicate with my body. I truly believe that 2011 is going to be very wonderful with a healthy body, inspiring thoughts, and a lovely soul.

2011, my resolution is to forgive but never forget on the things that have brought me so far; embrace and draw new things to my life, every experience is worth a learning value; bow to losses and losers because they’ve pushed me to a higher level.

Lastly, I want to live a good life for myself and everyone else that loves me, for they are the infinite elements that spice up my life ultimately.

Learn how the world rules before you rule your own world

2011-03-06T14:37:00.001+08:00

My friend and I had a good chat on the bad quality some people possess which causes her to lose respect on them. She hates pessimistic people who complain about their own weaknesses frequently and never really bother to make a change. She says, these people pre-conclude things and do not really make an effort to try, so how will their world be better without a change? To her, that's a sign of not having adequate self-love in someone, and thus he/she does not fight for what he/she wants the most, thus they continuously hide at the corner and poke finger.

Well, I can agree no more with her, I think it’s important to stop ranting about the desperado and see things pessimistically. Things won’t change without a change in attitude, even if you’ve figured out the root of the problem, things won’t change without a change in attitude. Instead of losing my temper on these people, I’m losing respect to people who deny their responsibility and go on with their life like they play no part in their responsibility. I find no mercy in people who make up things with very ridiculous reasons, as I consider myself as a forgiving person who’ll let go things if I see an effort in you to patch things up, but never treat me like a 3-year-old kid who accepts all kinds of lame excuses.

It’s only until last term that I find these people hard to be understood and compromised, because I do not know the best solution to deal with their bluntness. They know their mistakes, and they tell you their mistakes straight off the face, but they never apologize, neither will they make an effort to change them. I really don’t mind people making mistakes, but I’m more concerned with the lesson learned from the mistakes as well as their solution to the problem. However, things become so absurd sometimes that I start questioning myself, what do they want from me seriously?

We are all humans, thus making mistakes are unavoidable.However, what matters most is how you change your attitude to avoid making consistent mistakes in future. Don’t expect people to return you the favor without you doing your part responsibly in the first place, just like how you coordinate both legs to walk instead of one, right? Please learn the principles on how this world rules before you rule your own world, as we all are merely a subunit of the universe.

February is the month.

2011-02-28T10:56:00.005+08:00

Took the first snow picture of mine after 2 years. I’ve been waiting for this snow for megalong, thus I was so prepared for it once it came by and quickly grabbed the opportunity for a photo shooting session with my best photo shooting buddy-Eu. I like to update myself consistently by taking pictures of myself with different looks under the same setting every year, just to figure out how much of a difference I’ve had in a year. Based on the comparison, I think I’ve done a good job in keeping myself in the best physical and mental state, also in terms of skincare and fashion.

I like it when Law says, the little girl has finally grown up and I can see the difference in you. I really take it as a compliment and motivation to keep heading towards the positive direction and gradually up-level myself in every aspect as best as I could. I’m certainly glad with the general acceptance among my peers on the slightly-different me each year. I will only go better or remain the same but never the worst, that is one commitment I’ve pledged to myself.

Credit to the superb photographer Chai Jui.

Had a getaway trip with my friends during spring break. It turned out to be an unexpected trip for me after receiving a few surprises in 2 days, I think it was more of a get-to-know-each-other-better and make-my-state-of-mind-clear trip for me as I felt a great sense of relief after the entire trip. It seems like trips are always doing me good, and I was glad that this trip served its purpose well too! After the trip, there's only one thought in my mind- I truly hope that you will be completely healed one day, as I know that the day will eventually come for you. That day has come for me already, I hope yours will soon arrive too!

My first Valentine’s baking project in 22 years of my life for friends that I truly appreciate. I had to say, baking pineapple tarts wasn’t easy at all when you had to start from the foundation step-cooking pineapple paste!!Fortunately,the compliments received on the final product definitely made me feel accomplished ultimately. I spent 2 days baking these little babies for my friends, while thinking of all my close friends around the world simultaneously, and that kept me going on with the exhaustive baking session.

Love is not inclusive to couples only but it can be spread around whenever you want to. Love won’t keep you out of reach if you took the effort to break into it.

Spent a great night out with my ex-classmate- Harry and his friends. He hit me with a surprise on the last day of my break by his sudden visit to Vancouver, and we quickly arranged for a dinner through text messages. Meeting the first Ausmatian classmate in Vancouver was the highlight of the outing, it was something that I was longing for 3 years, after being the only Ausmatian in Vancouver among my classmates. His visit has brought back a lot of the good old days and I felt amazed by the change we both have had in these 4 years. A great night out with some warm sake, that makes my February a very different one of all the 3 years in Vancouver.

Had a lot of good foods with the buddies this month! Eating out is definitely one of the regular outing activities in Vancouver for me, simply because I can’t think of a better thing to do than a chit-chatting session with good foods around. I had a good catch up with different bunch of friends and it was a joy to see everyone doing good in their lives. Every outing reminds me of how far I've gone in expanding my social network in Vancouver and blending into every social circle gradually.I see this as a self-improvement in socializing as well as an effort to make time for worthy friends.

Always appreciate the goodness and never stop the effort , I will.

Rewarded my ears with some soothing music on a Friday night. Watching at least one musical performance per term has become habitual to me as I take it as a stress-releasing activity from the regular hectic life. I’m definitely a person who needs considerable amount of peace and tranquilization in my life, and I make peace with my life by welcoming music into my world.

Always feel thankful for the healing power of music and I will continue to embrace it for the rest of my life.

Went through a transition state in my love life and started to appreciate the surprising encounter this month. For the past year, I’ve been locking up myself from people who tried to climb over the wall to clear up the misery for me when I should no longer keep it. I avoided these sensitive things as much as I could and chose to be a nice person to everyone but not the only one for a special person. It’s only until recently, when his presence rings the bell and fits into the right timing for me because I can finally confront with my past and convince myself in committing to a new life, and probably, a new story. It’s my first time letting go myself completely and feeling comfortable with the way we get along with each other after a year. I feel good, at the moment, with everything that is coming my way. Thank you for making me in believing that, making peace with the past is a way to prepare myself for the good things to come.

X：你应该走出阴霾了，我会为你感到开心的!

Yes, appreciate the goodness is what I’ve been telling myself, I will foster it carefully this time and stay neutral with the outcome. One new friend or one new relationship, either way is doing me good, so I shall stay calm for every possibility.

Our first date is coming soon, please wish me luck friends! =)

February is still a month of love, friends, and fun for me. I hope it’ll stay like this for another 10 months, that’ll bring me to a fantabulous 2011.

Good things will come to those who wait

2011-02-20T02:38:00.009+08:00

When someone breaks your heart for so many times, it doesn’t really matter anymore if there’s going to be another time or more to come. It’s not even about depression or disappointment, but you begin to understand that there’s nothing left for them to be exploited, and you have nothing to lose. Some say it’s cruel to be treated in such a wrong way, some say you deserve a better life, but to me, it’s a complete self-willingness to face the reality regardless of what opinions you’ve heard beforehand. Opinions are opinions, they don’t intersect with self-will if you don’t want to link them together.

I usually discourage friends to wait for highly mercurial people, because I don’t know what else you could do when you have given them the biggest commitment you can afford. Let go of the mercurial people, your life will be way too tired to catch up with their pace, when they hardly know what they truly want in life except for themselves. Let go of the mercurial people, let them figure out their desires before coming back to you, while giving yourself a chance to explore another kind of life that may fit you.They say, you need to encounter some heart breakers in life as they prepare you to love the right person in future. I believe that, we all need some real-life experiences to teach us more about every aspect in life, and that includes love.

Of course, human hearts are not mechanically made, they don’t come as simple as switches and programmable software, you need time to reconsider about the option you’ve decided to give up upon and resume to the ordinary life. But your friends will come to rescue you when you breakdown and lead you to the life you should look forward to. They play a good role at that, better than you can imagine, so don’t be afraid to stay fragile once in a while, you are never alone in the dark.

Most importantly, I also believe that good things will come to those who wait, just like rain will be followed by a rainbow. Good things will reserve a place for good people, because deserving people know the way to look out for good things, do have faith on that!

While waiting for the good things to come, never forget to appreciate yourself even more to better yourself, it's worth it in the end, both to yourself and the other person.

I know I can make it, today my life begins.

2011-02-11T01:08:00.001+08:00

Only have one life to live, so you better make the best of it.

大家别担心，我很好，我很好，我很好！

2011-02-06T15:57:00.007+08:00

1. 最近别人赞我皮肤有变滑了，也许是我坚持每周做面膜和尽量早睡的效果吧。皮肤还是要从内到外的深层调理会比较有效，再加上每日三大笑，真的会见效喔，而且微笑是最好的化妆品，所以大家也不妨试试看吧！

2. 最近胃口有变好，虽然偶尔还是会泻个两三天，但比起之前还真的算是有很大的进步了。目前还是会每天吃药，体重还是43公斤，但我会继续加油增回上去的。虽然会常被人拉起衣角嫌我手腕像骨头，也常被人猛抓手臂测量细度，更常被亏说‘我以为你快升仙了，都不会觉得饿”，但“记得要吃饭”绝对是我发病之后听到最多的关心，还真的很感谢大家的温馨小提示，我会继续努力吃饭去的!

3. 最近听到某人赞赏说‘Michelle变正了，刘海真的很适合你’！我觉得自己很幸运，因为我既没有明星耀眼的脸庞，也没有很多女生憧憬的双眼皮+瓜子脸+樱桃嘴，所以每次得到别人的赞赏的时候还真的觉得他们都太善良了，竟然愿意哄我一下小赞美一番。一直以来，我都秉持着一个信念，那就是我不需要是最漂亮的那个，但只要别人不觉得丑就好了。谢谢大家的善解人意啦，让我这小小的世界充满了许多的人间温情。

4. 最近课业很繁忙，虽然有时候会睡的比较少，但事实证明了努力是不会被白费的，所以我绝不会轻言放弃自己。3rd year绝对是我去图书馆最多的一年，以前我一想到图书馆就觉得人很多，宁可回家复习，但现在都会善用空档的时间跟朋友讨论功课，或是自己复习一下。我相信那是好的现象，所以也希望好成绩能一直延续下去啦！

5. 最近音乐灵感很多，很多旋律常在我脑海中闪过，只可惜我没能好好抓住每一次的机会，立即冲到钢琴前谱曲，不然我相信我早已作好几首作品了。说起钢琴，我也有好几个月没去练习了，每次看到自己僵硬的手指就感到沮丧，希望能利用这次的短假好好恶补一下，要不然10几年功夫很快就会化为乌有了。

6. 情人节快到了，有些朋友问我送礼的意见，我个人觉得情人节是花心思而不是砸大钱的日子，所以只要早点准备的话，就算是小小的东西也有可能会变成最大的惊喜滴。大家可以多花点时间回想一下对方说过的话+兴趣，我相信只要继续往这方向前进的话就一定能想到适合对方的礼物。大家加油，如果真不行的话可以再找我讨论讨论，两个人想总比一个人快嘛！今年我决定要实践一个不错的主意，真希望会成功，我相信自己也会很享受准备的过程。别人开心之余，我自己也很开心，何乐而不为呢？

7. 最近有一位好友深受感情困扰，陷入进退两难的局面。虽然对你们最后的结局感到可惜，但我想那一定是你们挣扎很久之后的决定吧，既然是对目前的你们最好的选择，我也深深祝福你们能够坚持地走下去。路是自己创造出来的，只要有足够的喜欢，也有足够的珍惜，就一定能走下去。记得我跟你说过吗? 只要够喜欢，就不会有解决不了的事情，属于你的，经过一番努力后也会回到你的身边；不属于你的，再勉强下去也只是伤害自己而已。真心希望这位朋友能够找到自己真正的幸福，记得要相信自己的选择，加油！

First sunset of the year

2011-01-31T14:05:00.003+08:00

Watching sunset is like a privilege here, sometimes the weather may get too gloomy to have seen it obviously, or simply my schedule can’t fit well for a 2-hour beach walk. But today, I took the effort of climbing down 471 staircases and watched my first sunset of the year.

I used to frequent this place last year, and I’m feeling a little guilty for abandoning the place for such a long time, due to a hectic schedule. Wreck beach is quite significant to me, it has accompanied me through thick and thin, through laughter and sentimental moments, and it’s also the place where I gained my stamina too!! I used to pause while climbing up to 175 stairs, but I can get up to 421 stairs without stopping nowadays, which I believe it’ll soon lead to a completion of climbing 471 stairs non-stop.

I listened to the same song I last listened at the beach, and spent some time reading and observing the surrounding calmly, the nature and people simply have so much to offer for me, and it’s amazing how these trivial things help in changing my mood and impression on the same song. Staying with the nature to end the weekend is definitely a bliss to me, as I feel so peaceful and secured when nature is embracing me front to front.

I think, I will do my first solo getaway trip this spring break and step on a foreign land on my own this time. I believe that it will be a good exposure to me.

Projects in 2011

2011-01-30T15:14:00.007+08:00

I’ve a few projects along the pipeline this year. One of them is the photo shooting session for our new family portrait in this summer. A little different from last time whereby we posed in the studio, we’ll be shooting at outdoor this time and that excites me a lot, simply because outdoor creates such a natural and frenzy atmosphere for family portrait. Plus, I’m always proud with the scenery in our country, thus it’s a brilliant idea to have brought portraits out of the studio setting.

Another project I’ve is a duet shooting with my buddy Valerie in my upcoming NZ trip. Come to think about it, I’ve never taken more than 10 pictures with her throughout our 9-year friendship, thus her invitation sounds really unbelievable to me. I assume that she’s really coping well in front of the camera after her pole dancing experience. Anyway, according to her, we’ll take those ‘artistic’ photos in a free style and the photographer will compromise with our pose. I bet she’s really excited for my visit to have come out with this special event just for the both of us, and it's really an anticipating thing to have some new pictures added to our memory lane.

My third project is a video recording in Seoul. BFF starred in a video for her friend’s assignment last year and it came out incredibly well, thus we’ve this idea to record some interesting events during out trip and compose our very first BFF aka Seoulmate video. I’m never a video person, but I guess it’s definitely worth a try with the old friends.

Since winter-sonata-alike scenery is part of the essence of the trip also, we mah as well make use of the background, right right right??

Based on what I’ve in my list so far, 2011 is definitely going to be a photo shooting year for me. Let’s hope that the products will turn out well.

Be selfish for your own good

2011-01-28T11:14:00.005+08:00

I had an in-depth conversation with my old friend a few days earlier, so deep that I thought I saw the shadow of myself when I was once put in the same shoes. I saw the previous self who was confronting the same dilemma, with the same options, and the choice fell on the question to weather prioritize myself first or the other person first.

She asked me : What should I do?

I paused for a while, that wasn’t a question out of my mind, I could have given her a rational answer if I was the same old me a few years back. But time can be a nasty thing sometimes, it changes a lot of things and retards my emotions, to the extent when I lost faith on things which were once perforable to my soul.

If possible, I wouldn’t want to see my best friend going through what I had gone through earlier and feeling the same uneasiness and despair in life. It was tough, I harmed myself too much and tore myself apart during the recovery.Now that I’m recovered, I’m really reluctant to see the repeat on another person, especially when it happens to the people that I care for life. Even if it’s meant to be selfish to the other people, I’m hoping that she can decide the best for herself, just for once, be selfish for your own good.

Then I smiled, I seemed to understand my past better after witnessing the same experience being put in another person’s life. I really wished I had a friend who gave me the push at the time, just like what I did to her. Making a start is not always the hardest thing to do, it’s the preparation you have to make in ending something that makes it painful.

Please, take my luck and blessing with you, for your blissfulness is a sweet serendipity of mine.I'm with you, my friend.

10 reasons to make me a happy soul

2011-01-24T10:38:00.019+08:00

1.Will be meeting Valerie this summer in New Zealand!!It was originally a summer trip to Aus for both of us, but funny how it turned out to be a visiting trip to NZ ultimately. Anyway, she is one insane buddy who brings out the craziest side of me, thus I’m really excited that we’re going to meet up after 3 years.

WOOHOO VALERIE TAN, I’M COMING! LOTR I’M COMING TOO!!!

2. Received some candies from my lovely buddies few weeks ago. I really love my buddies because they know exactly how to satisfy my sweet tooth and happy soul.

3. Praised by a stranger at the bus stop. Stranger asked me about the bus schedule and the waiting time, and then he politely returned the favor by saying ‘You will definitely succeed in future because you know your time well.’

4.Re-watched one of my favourite music videos and it is still as captivating as the first time I watched it. I always have a thing for this song, regardless of day or night, it is just magical enough to slow down my pace for 4 minutes.

This is my favourite scene of the music video! It allows me to stay dreamy for a while and swaps away my exhaustion.

5. Went ice-skating with my buddy on a Friday evening. I’m getting better on ice although I exchanged it with a blister at the end of the day. But like my friend says : ‘old skin don’t go, new skin won’t grow’, so it’s definitely worth the pain for a better outcome sometimes.

6.Baby Kenn shaved his hair and he still looks adorable with the new Botak look. I heard him babbling over the phone a few days ago, craving for hugs when mom was talking to me. The voice itself was enough to immerse me into his cute expression.

I bet now you all know what my summer job is going to be!

7. J updated me about her wedding preparation in this summer, from the wedding dress, make-up artist to wedding location, and the most exciting part to me is her church wedding since it’ll be the first church wedding in the house. I dreamt about her wedding a few weeks back, in this grand hotel with golden pillars and many familiar faces chit-chatting in the hotel lobby.I think it’s a good sign for the biggest event of my summer this year.

July, please come faster!!!

8. Read a good line which says ‘Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present’.

9. Learned to communicate with my heart and understand how it compromises with my brain. I’ve no idea since when my brain and heart are rarely interconnected with each other, to the extent where they decided to go against each other and work individually 'literally'. Maybe it’s good to put both things together once in a while and listen to the new melody created.

10. Developed a new idea about ‘love’ in general after seeing so many little events happening to the couples around me. Love is happiest when it’s at its simplest, as I can see their blissful faces after doing something for someone they love. I feel contented seeing their happy faces, and I feel happy to have walked them to their destination. Sometimes I wonder, what can I give best to the people I love? Apart from the care and support, giving them the freedom to choose is the only thing I can do best. It's not that I don't need someone in my life, but whoever that comes back to me is destined, and whoever that fades away is just telling me that we're not meant to be, and so they should be free.

See, I'm complicating things again. Let's get back to the simple life!!!

First resolution of the year

2011-01-21T14:30:00.004+08:00

It has been snowing for the N time in Vancouver since November. However, I realized that I never really get to take some nice pictures with snow this year. I am a snow person, tiny snowflakes make me feel my belonging here. Sun reminds me of home, snow reminds me of here, that’s how I relate weather to my root and its branches. Root will stay, but branches will grow, and that is just a reflection of myself inevitably. But like MK says, change is good, change is good, so hopefully these changes will bring me to another stage of life with more exposures and opportunities but less uncertainties.

J says she wants to see more snow pictures to keep up with the fantasy of snow. Thus, I’m here to declare my first resolution of the year: Take some nice pictures with snow x3

I feel loved.

2011-01-20T05:22:00.017+08:00

Seoulmate took the effort to send a postcard to me during her backpacking trip. Someday, we should do a backpacking trip together, that way we will not have to see the mirror of ourselves for each other, we will be there for each other, feeling what each other feels.

Thank you Seoulmate, I feel loved.

Black angel brought me into her world of desserts.Nothing beats the gratitude of having someone who makes her time for me. Of all the words she could use to comfort me, she makes herself physically available for my confession. Now I sincerely feel that, ‘I’ll be there’ is definitely a sweeter word than ‘I love you’.

Thank you WX, I feel loved.

I’ve spent a significant amount of time in the kitchen inventing new recipes, and there I am , with a new dish, and I really started to be amazed by my cooking ability. It’s silly when I look back at the effort I’ve put in in improving myself for someone, besides convincing myself that things could work out with more effort.Although the purpose has changed now and I did not fulfill what I wished to do earlier, the skill and interest still remain and I’m now more equipped to serve my friends with more homemade meals.Thus, I should really thank the person who gears my motivation in enhancing my cooking skills.

Thank you, I feel much more matured now.

My new winter collection has finally arrived today. I always love the idea of maximization, whereby you spend the lowest amount of money possible for appropriate accessories and clothes to create various styles. I don’t like to buy expensive things either, simple because I’m not a constant person when it comes to fashion, I need something new in my wardrobe yearly. I don’t really mind people having preconceived idea in relating the amount of clothes a girl has to her expenditure level, because they have yet to discover the rationality I have when it comes to shopping. Most importantly, the thought that all my new winter clothes may convert to a sweater they buy delights me the uttermost.

Ooo I really love my fringe boots and new scarves so much!!

My previous pair of furry slippers is quite worn out, so I decided to fork out another 6 bucks for the extra warmth during the winter. Sheep sheep shall be the sister pair of my previous slippers, and accompany the one BFF got me.

Got a new buddy to replace the old one after 2 years of dream talking. The effort of saving every penny to earn something makes me feel accomplished, although that also implies the requirement of further job hunting and savings. Nevertheless, I'm glad that I worked my promise, and that is the first essential step of the massive upgrading process of the year.

January is also the month I’ve heard a lot of ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’. Thank you all, I feel loved from the bottom of my heart. It seems like a good start for the year, and I shall forget my achievements and glory to focus on my goals. Despite of my inability to foresee my future, there’s one thing I can be sure of- I will make 2011 a better year, I promise.

Minasan, ganbare!

一半

2011-01-14T08:37:00.009+08:00

[因为我并不需要依靠我的过去或财富而活着。我只关心现在。如果你能活在当下这一刻，你就会活得很快乐。生命对你来说将会是一场飨宴，一个盛大的庆典，因为生命就在我们活着的每一个当下。]Paulo Coelho, “El Alquimista”

这是我最近临睡前都会看的书，我喜欢每晚都只看一点，细嚼它每一字每一句的涵义，因为当中有很多道理并不是能在区区的一个晚上就能被了解的事。也许只是临睡前15分钟的阅读时间，但却让我得到无限心灵上的扶持。

走过这几年，我常觉得自己只剩下一半，充裕的部分变得更充裕，掏空的部分也持续被掏空。它不会有真正被填满的一天，但也不会一直都待在原点，它就一直盘绕在增加与减少中，维持着那平衡点。这种感觉并不坏，因为只有当我怀着一半的心情站在观景台上，才能够看到真正需要学会的另一半。每一次的成功都是一种收获，它带我跨越一半的区域，扩展原有的风景；但每一次的失败也不会将我击退回零点，它只是带我回到一半的山腰，告诉我要再从那里开始努力地越过山顶。这样的我，不害怕接受批评，因为我还有一半进步的空间；不害怕失去，因为自己还拥有着一半；真心接受美好，去继续增加我原有的一半；领悟人生的不美满，那是人生一半的定律。

也许是因为这样，遇到不顺心的时候，我常回想起已拥有的一半人事物，然后对自己说：
‘没关系，其实我已经拥有了一半！’

最后，要感谢传授我看书治疗法的黑色小天使！你无私的陪伴就是我生活中美好的一半。

力量

2011-01-10T05:31:00.006+08:00

一直都不喜欢觉得自己可怜，当我还有帮助别人的能力，

一直都习惯收起坏脾气，生气别人让我难以原谅自己，

一直都在坦然地面对真相，真相是带我走向明天的伯乐，

一直都不相信永远，当我还活在会老化的躯体，

一直都勇于面对选择，选择让我相信自己的决定，

一直都勇于承担悲伤，悲伤会幻化为成长的泪滴，

一直都习惯接受决定，没有比接受更难熬的关口，

一直都习惯为别人着想，忘了自己也很重要，

如果有一天，我觉得自己可怜，自暴自弃，活在过去, 害怕清醒，身心疲惫，忘记微笑，

如果有那么的一天，请掴醒我，然后拍拍我的肩膀，
告诉我：没关系，最难熬的都已经过去了，你现在还好好地活着。

我相信，我会一直记得那一巴的力量，然后很积极地生活，为了自己。

我相信，我不会再输给自己，屈服于现实的幻影。

2010 is the year (12)

2010-12-20T06:24:00.003+08:00

2010 is the year, I truly feel satisfied with my current life.

Achieving a balance in life is like hitting another milestone in life, it will only go for the better, not worse. I've always wanted to be grateful for every single day that I’m blessed with, every second spent with my family, every opportunity to witness the growth of my niece and nephews, every learning opportunity in Vancouver, as well as the yearly summer vacations with BFFs. I hoped I could truly feel the gratitude of waking up every morning and inhaling the gratitude for being alive. Because staying alive is a God’s gift, not merely a personal choice.

I spent months and months of self-discovery to accomplish this stage in my life, I worked very hard to improve the quality of my life psychologically. I read, travel, mingle with various friends, learn new languages, earn and save money, date, and everything else I could do in making my life exuberant. What I needed was just a kick to start-off these things and keep up with my motivation, and I’m glad that I found it this year. To me, no one deserves to be in the worst state of life, but one thing we need to accept about life is that life quality will only come after a significant amount of self effort. One must learn to rescue himself and accept the truth from every fall, if one doesn't find the rope to climb out of the hole, he can only be trapped forever.

At this moment of life, I truly understand the meaning of giving and taking, and I don’t force myself to forget about those stressful events but I allow time to wash them away. I’ve also learned to accept the beautiful imperfections which complement the cycle of my life, that it’s normal if things don’t go your way sometimes, just deal with them and move on to the next stage.I understand the consequences of every move I make, so much that the realm of my life involves a lot of decisions making. If I don’t let go some, I won’t gain more from the other aspects. Like my sis says, I too, began to see the half-filled glass instead of focusing on the other half which was empty. I thank God for all the angels sent to me and most importantly, the angel that lies in me all the time, to help me through when I felt completely miserable in my life. I thank myself for slapping myself for reality, to remind myself that it’s time to wake up for another new start of the day. Without the support and self-perseverance, I had no idea where in the jungle would I be in, for now.

2010 is a fruitful year to me. Thank God, thanks to everyone, thanks to myself, I felt loved and there I persevered.

2010 is the year (11)

2010-12-15T15:22:00.009+08:00

2010 is the year, I’ve taken an adventure to find out more about myself.

I gave a deep thought about my future in every aspect and the life which suits me the best. Living independently these few years has undoubtedly brought about several changes in me. The most significant change should be the adoption of self-sufficiency in handling my daily life efficiently. A lot of things become simpler instantly when I spend more time to scrutinize it before doing it myself, as I will only have myself to blame with for any mistakes instead of losing my temper on other people.I’m tired to even initiate the cycle of getting mad and disappointed at anybody,and I feel calmer with less expectation from other people.

Happiness, entertainment, blissfulness can be self-created most of the time, it is purely a state of contentment with the power to trigger the positive emotions in you.Loneliness seldom comes across my mind because I perceive it as a self-hindrance to see life from another beautiful and hopeful perspective. My thoughts have definitely made me less eager in wanting somebody to stay beside me in sharing my ups and downs, as I disregard the series of temporary misfortunes in my life by keeping up with a busy life while sharing my happiness with anybody along the way.

When I become the major decision maker in my life, I can’t be too fear for what to come, neither can I choose for what to surprise me, so I’ve accepted my destiny and opt for a simple and self-sufficient life. To me, disappointments often come from unfulfilled expectations by the others, thus I’ve learned to fill in the blank and work my way out to make things happen, instead of losing my youth waiting and demanding more from the others.

Lookout and spend more time to understand yourself! You will soon discover the infinite flow of strength within you, far more than enough to carry on with your life when you choose to unleash it.

2010 is the year (10)

2010-12-12T15:18:00.003+08:00

2010 is the year, my third sister is engaged to her soul mate in life.

This should be the greatest thing I’ve heard this year, because J resembles a huge part of my life since I was young. We were always in pairs since young, she was like Jerry and I was like Tom in the cartoon, she always made fun of me just to make me cry. To her, making me cry simply made up her day. Having said that, she was surely one good Jerry because she helped me out when I hurt my hand from a camp and couldn’t write for weeks. She was the one who helped me to take notes so that I could catch up with my studies. See, Jerry would still rescue Tom in times of hardships!

Moving on to the later stage in life, we’ve integrated our relationship into a more mature one as we begin to open up ourselves to a wide range of discussion topics. She is always optimistic and gives me positive feedback and encouragement to guide me through every misery in life. She’s also my good supper buddy because two of us always make up a spontaneous mamak or pasar malam session.

I feel really happy to see her moving on to the next milestone in her life soon.Thank you for making me in believing that, true love has not ceased to extinction. It may not fall on everyone, but witnessing one from the people I treasure the most is definitely a serendipity in life.

2010 is the year (9)

2010-12-11T16:01:00.002+08:00

2010 is the year, I gained quite a bit from volunteering experiences.

Volunteering is an annual thing to me since high school.Apart from fulfilling the course requirement, I feel more engaged to the society that way through contributing to the community that I’m living.

I had very special volunteering experiences this year, they ranged from front desk task to hands on farming experience. The latter experience seriously exposed me to the brutal in farming especially under harsh conditions. Although my ears and hands seemed to be detaching from my body after so many hours of farming, I never failed to learn more about urban farming, specifically rooftop garden. I’ve never thought of the possibility of establishing a small farm in a limited space and it manages to benefit more people by distributing the food to non-profitable local community to help more needy children and women. I feel inspired in how we can connect people through food and help them by providing them the basic needs in life.

Also, never in my life had I seen so many long and fat earthworms slithering in the soil before and I felt like they were dancing in front of me, the evil soil destructor who did that to weed out the plastic mulch.I felt gross on the first day and tried to avoid these little creatures as much as I could. Then, my brain system activated itself to adapt the image of these big fat earthworms until I got used to it immediately.On the third day, I scooped them to another uninterrupted soil space to prevent from chopping them into pieces before I weed, instead of avoiding them.

Practical learning is always fun and inspiring, and I love myself in understanding the priceless significance of taking and giving back to the society, in which giving is the root of all society love and care.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give” -Winston Churchill

2010 is the year (8)

2010-12-10T12:46:00.002+08:00

2010 is the year, we had our first BFFs road trip in 10 years. I’ve spent almost half of my life with these lovely people, and our friendship never fades off with time.

I lost a few precious friendships this year, until the extent when it becomes a question to me, what is the value of our friendship to them? And then I was reminded one day, that the only constant thing in life is change, if our friendship no longer works between us, that’s the time to let it flow because no one can hold a grip at it anymore. That’s the time I should wish them good luck in their life, for the last time on mouth, for eternity on heart.

在人海的沧海桑田, 已是定律不可改变,怀疑就此和你挥手,相识不再见

2010, I’ve re-evaluated every friendship bond I've made and amended my philosophy in building up friendships. Let go of the people who no longer appreciate you, you don't deserve the pain and they don't deserve your kindness. Cherish the goldies friends who are always supporting you back to back, you deserve some true friends and they deserve more of your attention.

Dear BFFs,

谢谢你们让我明白，真挚的友情不需要太多的承诺，因为承诺已一一被兑换成行动。

未来的10年，20年，30年，一辈子，希望我们还是可以一起肩并肩共同渡过。

2010 is the year (7)

2010-12-09T16:54:00.001+08:00

2010 is the year, I played small fireworks in Vancouver for the first time.

Fireworks are like the lights in the dark, they look fancy, fabulous and spark up the sky gracefully. They indulge in their whole world like the sky is all theirs, for a moment. Watching fireworks performance is an annual thing to me, as I watch it once a year at minimum, usually on new year eve. To me, the fanciness of fireworks pulls off the first second of another new year wonderfully.

I’ve no idea since when, I’ve been celebrating my new year eve all over places and every new year eve brings me a new experience, with different event, venue, and people around me. I enjoy every bit of it as much as possible, considering that it may be my first and/or last time celebrating in the same place, with the same bunch of people. So, enjoying every moment of the last 24 hours of the year gives me a refreshing feeling to anticipate for a new year to come.

Fireworks are always mesmerizing despite their quick disappearance. I've learned to enjoy the moment and breathe out the rest, as the opportunity to witness a beautiful event in life is still something worth to be grateful for.

2010 is the year (6)

2010-12-08T11:37:00.003+08:00

2010 is the year, I have a better understanding on the up and downside of life.

One of my close friends was recovered from Hodgkin's lymphoma earlier this year, and she could finally liberate herself from the various scanning processes and chemotherapies she had to bear with last year. It was nothing more than a great sense of relief when I received this news because her courage and determination to go through this tough stage at a young age was tremendous in order to put up with the pain and prolonged mental stress. She always admires friends like me who gets an opportunity to continue with my tertiary education at overseas as it would be a lifetime inspiring experience.

But friend, you are much more amazing and courageous than anyone of us here, you have a better grasp on life after the near-to-death experience. You truly earn my salute and appreciate on your perseverance to defend the tough battle, which may be a positive turnover for you to realize the never-ending support from your family, and lastly, the subconscious strength in you. You are one inspiring heroin to me.

2010 is also the year, my dad is diagnosed as an early cancer patient. This striking news came to me a week before my birthday, and it is beyond the pain of words of mouth to hear about this, especially when I am not beside him to gear my full support for him.At one point, I truly feel the melancholy side of life in giving and taking things, so much that I can collapse in front of anybody once I hear the word ‘dad’.

But I’m the hero’s daughter, sinking myself in a deep depression for a prolonged period is my last resort. Therefore, I am doing my best in every part of my life, because I want him to share my proudest moment with me, in hope that he'll breathe in the pride, love, and most importantly,strength within it.

Please get well soon, my hero, and give me a chance to retreat you as much as I can.

2010 is the year (5)

2010-12-07T12:07:00.001+08:00

2010 is the year I had my first clubbing experience in Vancouver.

My first clubbing experience did not recall some good memories, mainly due to 2 unpleasant events that took place on that night. The first incident happened on me, as I got scratched from the back when a person fell down from the stage (I was kinda near her). Let alone the molesting part, my friend also lost her phone in the club, so it was indeed a long and unforgettable night for all of us, I would say.

Ya I know I’m lucky, thank you.After all, who can be any luckier than me to have all these things happened on the same night.

I’m not a club person, and I can reassure myself that I will not be one after that night. Perhaps, the club can’t handle me, and I can’t handle the club either.

2010 is the year (4)

2010-12-06T14:18:00.008+08:00

2010 is the year I received a lot of kiddie stuff from my friends.

Personally, I don’t mind using kiddie things at all so long that they are nice/cute and practical, best if it is Pooh-related! Many friends treat me like a kid who’ll never grow up because of my 'innocent' look according to them, and they conclude that my smile is a trademark. However, they also appreciate my understanding and patience when it comes to complete silent moments between two people, in which I feel truly honoured because accompaniment is a way to express my support and concern to them.

All these while, I’ve adopted an important attitude in my life, which is to play hard and do the right thing. Doing the right thing doesn't mean that one has to hit perfection in every achievement, but one will need to pay for the consequences in every decision one makes. The lifetime goal I've possessed is to play while I still can, but do be serious when I have to.I've way past the adolescent stage and there's no longer any excuse for the mistakes I make at my age.

In 2010, I've learned to be more responsible in everything I do, while continuing to kid in my own way.

p/s: I’m not that innocent anyway.=P

2010 is the year (3)

2010-12-05T06:07:00.005+08:00

2010 is the year I made friend with Chrona aka Doggy Kuo Kuo and spent a great summer with her. Doggy Kuo Kuo is a fortunate dog, she gets to go to a lot of places and being pampered by everyone.She's also very cheeky with a good taste in eating, because her highest record was eating up 9 imported pineapple pies from Taiwan out of a dozen.

That…has left Wayne with 3 pineapple pies as his souvenir.

Anyway, doggy Kuo Kuo is in New York now, and I do miss her as much as I miss Pluto at home, because she is my first dog friend in Vancouver. I just have a thing for dogs.

Most importantly,I’ve learnt a lesson from Chrona: dogs are the best heater on earth, as hugging a dog while watching night movies is really the warmest thing to do when the weather outside is chilly.

2010 is the year (2)

2010-12-04T12:55:00.008+08:00

2010 is the year Vancouver hosted Winter Olympics.

I saw the transformation of Vancouver, from a peaceful and relaxing place into a vibrant and merry city with tons of visitors hustling in and out of Downtown. I was excited with the variety changes happening in the city, but there was also another side of me who wished to bring Vancouver back to its origin. I don’t need a Times Square in here, all I need is just a less-crowded Stanley park, a place for real breeze of mind.To me, peace and nature are still 2 elements which bring out the beauty of Vancouver.

Feb 2010, you gotta be here. I'm glad that I did.

2010 is the year (1)

2010-12-03T12:11:00.009+08:00

2010 is the year I watched the first basketball match in my life.

I was reminded on the only basketball match I participated in my life during elementary school, and I can never forget the adrenaline rush which gushed through my bloodstream for the entire match. Although the match brought me a trophy,what matters the most to me was the 5 seconds of instant self-realization while watching the trophy. I had a better grasp about myself, that I am never a good rival if I were to be compared to somebody else.

My life is never a competition with anybody, but a series of magnificent self-accomplishments until I reach the final destination on earth- death.

Vegosaurs for change 3-month anniversary

2010-12-02T13:25:00.018+08:00

As I told you guys earlier, I’m on my way turning into a partial vegetarian for many reasons, mainly environmental factor. It has been almost 3 months for me to take 1-2 days off meat products weekly and everything is progressing smoothly so far.I’m very glad to see my life going green in many aspects.Agedashi tofu, bok choy, carrots, and bean sprouts are becoming my new good friends for never failing to make a good vegetarian meal.I also cook more often at home nowadays in hope to cut down plastic bags and containers I'll contribute in packing up outside food.There are indeed many reasons for me to cook apart from dealing with the hunger as I sometimes cook out of pleasure, especially when I feel like trying out some recipes to see if I succeed. I actually feel accomplished when the dish turns out to be scrumptious and pleasant.

Small steps towards a huge difference, I can do it!

On a side note,life hasn't been very great recently.This is the time when I feel disappointed in humanity in general, so I keep myself to the silence of heart, simply because I don’t feel like having too many emotions at the moment. Also, I’m starting to see myself skipping meals again, thus I’m stabilizing my emotions as much as I can just before the eating disorder experience surfaces for the second time. I just don’t want to lose another 6 kgs due to unhealthy reasons anymore.

I’m slightly bummed out at the moment, as many things are challenging my EQ simultaneously, both in workload and people. So, instead of keeping these unhappy events, I try to let them drain and take their own journey. Also, I begin to believe that heart is the true friend I can call out anytime. Maybe, I’m the best friend for myself.

Jo Kenn in the house!

2010-11-28T12:58:00.003+08:00

LOOK AT HIS NINJA HANDS! He is definitely a potential Ninja fighter in future.

I should have put this up earlier since the baby boy is almost 2 months old now. But better late than never, so let me introduce the new member in my family officially, the small ninja fighter is baby Jo Kenn!! He almost made it on 10/10/10 but he was too eager to see the world a day earlier, so he decided to pop out on the 9th. Anyhow, I’m delighted to welcome this new October baby in the house.

Oh yeah, so now I’m a B with 4 kids around me, and when I come to think of it, I’m not exactly a B in the house anymore since I’ve passed my throne to them since Jia Huey was born.However, I’m more than happy to have one more kid to play with in next summer, as I’m really missing these cheeky kids for now.

Hola, and now I’ve another new target to buy clothes for during my Cali trip. I think I’m getting better at buying kids’ clothes after 2 years of experiences, because my taste preference will automatically switch into kids mode when I’m choosing clothes or toys for them, just to make sure that they’ll like the gift.

For now, I’d rather talk to the kids than having to handle what world has gotten me into.

Lappie has got new friends!

2010-11-26T14:20:00.006+08:00

Hi everyone, please welcome my new best friend, the bunnies!

Does anyone have idea on what is it?

Nah, I’m so kind to reveal the answer straight away! It’s a USB device to warm hands up through laptop. So what I have to do is just to plug the cable while using laptop, and there’ll be consistent wave of heat generated in the middle of the bunny gloves. TADA, and then I can say goodbye to my icy hands when I'm at indoor!

This is such a BRILLIANT and useful invention to me!! Now I feel warmer and calmer with this pair of gloves on while I'm rushing for assignments or simply enjoying my bubbly drama time. And when I’m bored of doing my work, there’s always this pair of bunnies smiling and accompanying me all night to keep me battling,they are really awesome studying partner, isn’t it?

Dear bunnies, this winter feels better with you guys.=)

Dear BFFs,this winter feels warmer with all your support.You guys are really awesome and considerate as always.

送给许可欣的温馨小品

2010-11-21T18:53:00.013+08:00

I can’t sleep now so I’m gonna blog about the person I last talked to, who’s also a special friend of mine in Vancouver. She’s special because she knows me in and out, from my personality, secrets to habits. She’s unique because our birthday is only 7 days from each other. She is special because she’s on my ‘my 10’ phone list, and everything in her just makes her a special person to get along with.

Our friendship started when I first met her on a gathering last year. However, we only got to know each other better when we lived under the same roof. It’s so true that you get to understand a person so much quicker when you live with the person, because that was the way our friendship was initiated. Our conversations mainly took place in 2614, specifically in the kitchen as we never really hung out together at that time. Everything was 'settled' on the dining table, so you really can't neglect the significance of 2614 to the three of us.

Only until this term, when we no longer live together anymore, we realize how significant were those 29583993 lame jokes generated in 2614 kitchen, and so we started calling each other every week, even for the smallest matter on earth, just to keep up with our intimacy. I have to say, she is an extremely caring person, she takes the trouble to find me just to know about my condition. She possesses what I value the most in a friendship- trust and actions, and that’s when I know that she’s a true friend I could never miss out on. I treasure our friendship very much, not only because of the comfort I find in revealing myself to her; it’s also about her kindness to welcome me into her world.

I just want you to know that I always, always feel blessed to have a confidant like you. I’ve encountered many short friendships since I came to Vancouver, so short that I don’t expect much in new friendships at times. But you are nothing like them, you are not a footprint in my life, you are something much more real than that. You are an important piece of my life, and I will be there for you just like how you treat me the same. This is a mutual dependence, so don’t even bother hiding yourself even when you need only 1 buck to buy chocolate.

See, you called me at 1 a.m and I’m now blogging about you at 1.46a.m, I’m so efficient!

我会很听话喔，今晚会安心地去睡个好觉，会好好照顾自己，会保持身心开朗，然后从明天开始，我会带着你的喜悦和幸福去享受下雪天的乐趣。冬天出生的宝宝，怎能不开开心心地去迎接下雪天的来临呢？我之前还真是太不乖了。

不过，最重要的是，我知道你跟Eu是我生活中最真实的存在，所以别人不懂的事情都无所谓，只要你们懂我就够了。还是美里人跟怡保人最最棒啦！！！！

喔喔，还必须要凑齐一位吉隆坡人才对, oh yeahh！^.^

别说对不起

2010-11-21T01:33:00.007+08:00

在细雪纷飞的那晚，当外面的温度空降到冰点的那天，我第一次听到你说对不起。突然而来的道歉，竟然令我有点无所适从，因为心灵还没来得及搭上道歉后该有的风度，反而一直处在空荡的状态中。

别说对不起，你只是顿时让我了解到，

原来，你也不过如此而已；
原来，我也不过如此而已；
原来，人也不过如此而已。

2010年第一次迎来的雪，却令我觉得有点陌生。身体很冷，手心很冷，也远比不上内心深处的寒冷。

Beautiful art

2010-11-19T17:17:00.001+08:00

Take 12 minutes to watch this video.

This video is a very good metaphor about life. Sometimes, life is just like the stack of cubes as shown in the video, every cube represents a different phase in life, and every cube anchors to another cube of memory.

これわ人生です

I don't understand why.

2010-11-17T14:34:00.005+08:00

My mood swings a bit these days. Despite the hectic workload that has taken away half of my soul, there’s something bugging me and I find it difficult to understand, at least it’s beyond my understanding. I received 2 news in a day, one good and one bad. They are nothing about me directly, but the contrast is too big for my EQ to handle it calmly. It’s like, someone’s at the beginning of my previous path, whereas the other one just took the exit out. And I am like the final product to them.

Then I started thinking, am I a good final product?

I don’t know, I’ll never know, as keep moving on is my only strategy in solving problems as such. Although sometimes, figuring out the outcome yourself does not feel good and can be avoided, this is still a process we have to master. Although sometimes, you think you could believe in what others say, it’s this faith which diminishes your faith on the others in the end. Although sometimes, promise may sound sweet, never forget the destruction of a broken promise before that.

I just don’t understand how this incident could have happened, at least for now. It’s not even the anger which strikes me now as I’m prone to ‘fire’; it’s more like a mixed feeling of emptiness and disappointment.

信与不信，真的只有一线之差。

Girls are born to be complicated

2010-11-15T06:24:00.002+08:00

A lot of people think that girls are complicated. I can understand the perception but I can also explain this phenomenon with valid reasons- a girl’s life is born to be complicated. Apart from the busy daily tasks, we have to pamper our skin like a princess to ensure that it doesn’t upset us by bringing in a colony of bee hives.

How not to be complicated when a girl’s life involves so many small steps from the inner to outer shelf?

Let’s start from the skin! We have to select the suitable set of skincare products to keep our skin smooth all the time. It’s not as easy as using just one bottle of cleansing foam to achieve the desired skin texture, there are also other products like toner, moisturizer, eye gel, day cream, night cream etcetera which enhance our skin performance. Every product has a specialized effect to the skin and that’s why we have to select the right ones according to our skin sensitivity as well as age.

That’s the first complicated stage.

And then we move on to mask!

I have to say, although doing mask is generally beneficial to your skin, keeping an eye on the ingredients to prevent allergic reactions is important. Another important factor in considering the suitable mask to be used is the weather. Since I came to Vancouver, I usually buy hydrating masks to give my face a hydro boost, so that it won’t dry off as easily.

Keeping your skin clean and clear requires a great extent of determination. You have to keep it as a consistent habit and do mask at least once a week, although 2 times weekly will be ideal. This is extremely important for people who are not going to monthly facial treatment, just like me since mask is the only extra treatment I put on my face. If you’re a lazy bum, I suggest you to use night mask in which you can put it on overnight and then either wash off ( for peel off type) or dispose the mask sheet the next day morning.Besides doing mask weekly, I also use black head remover to get rid of the tiny black sesames on my nose.

This is the second complicated stage. And I haven’t even touched on the outer parts like cosmetic, hair treatment and clothing part yet.

Most of us are consistently living under pressure to stay in a good shape in and out, but I take this pressure as a positive one and set out a strict control to reach the balance in life. I don’t really like to complaint about myself because I much prefer allocating the same amount of time to upgrade myself instead. I also dislike making remarks on others appearance either, simple because I think that words like ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’ are powerful enough to ruin their lives if these people happen to be pessimistic and have ever heard these remarks, since I feel that many suicides derive from society pressure. Hence, things are meant to be kept silent sometimes.

In a nutshell, I just want to give an idea to the others out there who judge girls based on their appearance but never really spend enough time to understand a girl’s effort to keep herself at the best in and out. If a girl doesn’t complain about your appearance and personality, why should you find the trouble then? Inner and outer beauty don’t come by without a reason, as every pretty girl has surely invested quite a bit in herself first before she can constantly shine out. It’s not as easy as it may seem, because it requires consistent effort, money, and time. That’s why I don’t see a reason of being jealous with pretty girls, because they are willing to pay the price for the deal. As long as they are taking the right path
towards being beautiful, why not give it a shot?

Being beautiful is really affordable and achievable, don’t you think so?

Don't look back in anger

2010-11-14T10:16:00.004+08:00

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd never been
But all the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away

So I start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows, if it's night or day.
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock 'n Roll band
and throw it all away

Gonna start the revolution from my bed
'Cos you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside cos summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as she's walking on by.
My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late and she's walking on by
My soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger
I heard you say

At least not today.

Foods for thoughts

2010-11-08T13:57:00.008+08:00

Leading a healthy lifestyle doesn’t really require high expenditure and a dull menu all the time, as we can play around with the fresh food resources so long that we have the passion to begin with. Therefore, I started making my own smoothie a few days ago and absolutely fell in love with it. Banana, baby carrots, milk and some ice cubes are all that I need and a cup of banana and carrot smoothie is ready to go in 5 minutes once everything is blended together. I tried halving the milk and replaced it by strawberry yoghurt on my next attempt and it tasted good too, so just go ahead inventing your own recipe until you find the combination that you like. It’s like a morning energy boost to me since my stomach feels absolutely satisfied after drinking a cup of it.

Despite of the program that I’m enrolling in university, I’m not an arrogant person when it comes to giving some food recommendations from a nutritional point of view. I seldom bring food issues to the table simply because I think everybody is responsible of their own dietary style. If you are health conscious, then you would want to know more about the proper foods to be consumed to lead you to a healthy lifestyle without needing anyone to motivate you to do so. If you’re simply not a person in that group, then there’s nothing I can say to give you that push to join in the line, because you will most probably ignore it no matter how much time I spend to persuade you. Also, I don’t want to upset myself by listening to how some people prioritize their food preference and neglect everything else, especially the environment. To me,they will only start to realize the real problems embedded within the entire food system when some real disastrous outbreaks kick in, which is quite disappointing when I come to think about it. That’s why I only give my two cents when people are genuinely interested in food issues so that we can work on it together in hope to raise public awareness based on pure scientific evidences.

Anyway I’m currently working on a food project about rooftop garden and I’m doing 12 hours of gardening as my community service learning. I’ve done 8 hours of farming at 2 different urban gardens so far and the take-home message is

“FARMING IS REALLY TOUGH, SO PLEASE APPRECIATE YOUR FOODS!!!!!”*10 fingers pointing at myself*

I will cherish my food more from now on and do my best to no waste food in future.

Oh la la my colourful life

2010-11-04T14:08:00.004+08:00

I’m a colourful person, I enjoy using cute little things because they turn my life into a colourful one. My obsession in colourful things has long been in me since I’ve loved decorating my room with pretty cute things since young. I love exploring creative ideas and art crafting, which is why I do window shopping myself sometimes just to look out for those cute things to satisfy my sight. If there were so many great minds in this world, then there should be abundant different ideas out there as well.

Colourful things simply make my day.

I’ve received quite a bit of positive feedbacks on my fringe and I really thank you guys for being so humble to me. Some friends encourage me to join freelance modelling while the others have asked me to model for them but I hesitate a lot since I can’t pose naturally in front of people, I realized I only work best with myself and my camera. Although curiosity of trying something new strikes me for a while, I still find it difficult to overcome the stage fright as I'm not used to presenting the best of myself in front of everyone else yet.It’s just like my singing as well, nobody knows this side of me until they have been along with me for a while, as I usually present my best to my BFFs.

Also because of the fringe, almost 60% of my friends claim that I’ve Korean look while the other 40% think that I’m more to Japanese. It changes my life slightly when a friend starts texting me in simple Japanese and he even wrote my birthday card in Japanese. I’m so glad that I can ‘pretend’ a bit since I’m able to understand most of the conversations besides being excited for the fact that I can finally put my Jap into use. Therefore, I should really go further for my Jap course before I start to age =_=, or I should say, before my memory starts to worsen.

Besides saving money, I’ve also started picking up some Korean language in preparation for my upcoming Korea trip with my lovely Seoulmates. I’m really putting an effort to learn both languages by watching tonnes of J&K dramas, sometimes I even re-watch the scene for a few times just to catch a word or phrase.

Anyway I like my fringe too although it means more work (have to cut my fringe almost every week now).I’m still coping well with this lifestyle,however the day I get bored of cutting my fringe will be the day I surprise you with my ‘10 seconds haircut’ again.

Halloween, I'm here!

2010-11-02T06:48:00.007+08:00

Hanging out with friends 3 days in a row was somehow an achievable luxury to me despite of the hectic schedule as I spent my last few days of October celebrating Halloween as well as friend’s birthday. Also because of the frequent outings,I broke my own records in many ways for 3 consecutive days.

Firstly, WX dear brought me to her dance party and that’s how I got the chance to dress up in Halloween this year. I didn’t want to splurge on Halloween costume so I put on the Yukatta my host mama gave me during student exchange trip in Japan last time. I must say, dancing Waltz and Cha Cha in Yukatta seemed to be really awkward because many girls wore a dress instead. Can you imagine a yukatta floating around the sea of dresses? That was exactly how I felt.

However, I had the chance to learn some simple dance steps courtesy to dear dear and overcame the embarrassment slowly. I couldn’t even believe myself dancing for the whole night when I haven't danced for at least 6 years.

I then went to a theme park for the first time in Vancouver and getting high with all the screaming and haunted environment. Going to theme park and playing under the rain enhanced the Halloween craziness even further, because our jeans and shoes were soaking wet. If I could describe the feeling to you, it would be like sitting on a roller coaster with water dripping all over your face and melting your eyeliner. I wasn’t sure which one was nastier in the end. Well at least they didn’t close down the park, if not my 30 bucks would have washed down the sink already.

The coolest thing I found in the park was definitely this monster that we took picture with. He was stationary for a very long time and no one actually noticed this real flesh until he jumped out of the stool and started scaring people around. He somehow reminded me of the wax museum prank by Edison Chen in one of the videos I watched earlier since he prank people in the exact same way. I swear it was hilarious because he pretended as a wax figure and randomly scared visitors who were taking picture with him.

Wrapped up my Sunday afternoon with Afsan’s birthday and we went for a good movie together. It has been such a long time since we last hung out together and it was great catching up with them outside class again. Sometimes, I’m grateful for the small faculty I’m in because that brings us closer together. I don’t understand the greatness of it until the beginning of my third academic year, when I can recognize most of my classmates by face. I may not know all of them personally but we definitely went through several courses together. Learning something in a familiar environment with some other passionate people is somewhat comfortable to me.

Another thing I love about LFS has to be the Agora café, where you can pick up a hot chocolate in a mug for only 1 buck. The best part is not just about the price, but it’s how homely I feel carrying the mug to my lectures and return it back to the café once I’m done with it. It’s a way our faculty promotes sustainability,and honesty in a way, since there is a possibility for those mugs to disappear at anytime.

Of course, fun outings and huge expenditure usually come in a package, so I guess I shall start eating grass for the following days to compensate with that. =_=

Happy 21st!

2010-10-26T07:16:00.012+08:00

看着蛋糕上插上的21蜡烛，才真正感受到自己已是21岁大人的那份真实感。仔细回想起2010的点点滴滴，不难发现2010对我来说，是很艰辛的一年。今年走遍了每个人生中的低潮，每一波的难关都好像再重复地告诉着我，这，也许就是生活的意义。

在人际关系上，我开始变得更宽容，我选择把有杀伤力的事情都通通忘掉，只求别人给我一些歇息的空间。遇到不想见到的人，我学会了已微笑带过一切，也已微笑结束一切。人若要变得更圆滑，就必须不断地挑战自己的忍耐力才能够把无关紧要的话都不放在心上，只有真正的不在乎，才会刀枪不入。人若要变得更坚强，就必须经历更多才能够锻炼出那粒坚固无比的内丹。

在亲情与友情的经营上，我学会了付出与行动。一直以来，我都很珍惜与家人与BFF的点点滴滴，因为他们就是我内心真正的归属。今年暑假的所有时间都几乎跟他们一起过的，无论是与小侄女侄子的卡通时间，一家人的聚餐，帮狗狗洗澡抓狗骚，BFF的饮茶聚会与旅行，我都很珍惜，因为知道美好的光阴虽美好但也很短暂，所以一直都很珍惜。

幸福是属于懂得包容与付出的人，所以拥有了就必须要双倍地付出，才能够得到持之以恒的幸福。每个人都需要别人的关心，哪怕只是简单的一句谢谢，对不起，好好照顾自己，这些细小的关怀都会无形间拉近彼此的关系，所以绝对不要因为事小而不为。我重新评价了与一些朋友之间的友情，开始把他们归类在生命中不同的区域里，也开始把时间都花在不同的朋友身上，希望能借此扩展自己的视野。对于真挚的友情，我多了一份熟悉，学会更踏实地对自己在乎的人付出更多，并珍惜每一次的美好。对于那些说不上很珍贵的友情，我少了一份期待，就让它们静静地摆放在原地就好。

在学业上，我花了很多时间去尽最大的努力，只希望我的付出能得到好的回报。我开始了解，任何事情都会随着时间而改变，但学业却是能以努力换取的保障，能以努力增加知识的版图，所以我开始为将来做好准备，好好地充实自己。今年，我也花了很多时间用心地经营自己，并努力地达到自己心目中的要求。我相信自我经营才是最聪明的投资，因为只有真正了解自己的需要与兴趣才能更明确地去追求自己的目标。

至于感情，一直都是我内心最弱的一块。今年狠狠地在感情世界里摔了一跤，勉强自己去接受那些难以置信的事实。我不知道该怎么去定义自己的爱情观，也不知该怎么诉说自己的经历，我只是觉得，感情一直都不是单凭付出与等待就能够开花结果的事情。曾经有一段日子，我每天都望着大海，看着日落，对于可以不可以，该与不该做的事情挣扎了很久。默默承受了很久，到最后才发现自己还真的是傻的彻底，因为自己一直都只是他的第二顺位，所以就连生气的资格也没有。我只是让自己有所期待，让自己觉得暧昧是希望，错觉是机会。当时真的觉得自己很卑微，卑微地忽略了可以令自己更开心的生活，卑微地委屈就全，却又无法捍卫自己的感情。我不再勉强自己继续待在他世界的边缘，所以我选择祝福，也选择离开，因为这是我唯一能给的宽容。感情，对我来说，永远都会是一个难题，也许有一天，我会鼓起勇气再去解开这难题。

自己的难题,自己解决,
自己的心情,自己整理,
自己的疼痛,自己埋葬

我能做的，就是咬着牙自己对自己说,坚持下去。

今年是我第一次在温哥华真正庆祝生日，真心感受到了身边每一位朋友的祝福。有时候，我觉得每一次的机会都得来不易，有些人会是过客，有些人会是普通朋友，有些人会永远留在你身边，只是无论结果是如何，我依然觉得，我是幸福的孩子。

今年最大的收获，就是我把一个全新的自己送给了自己。希望这一个不断蜕变的自己能够一直坚持下去，享受每一份美好，熬过每一个难关。

今年生日唯一的愿望是为爸而许的，希望他能赶快好起来。

其他的，都显得不重要了。

良药苦口

2010-10-18T13:17:00.008+08:00

So after struggling with myself for 1.5 months, I finally gave in and visited doctor last week to cure my illness. I was very nervous before seeing the doctor since it was my first time turning to a traditional Chinese practitioner. I’m just not convinced that pills may help to improve my appetite in this case.

The first thing the doctor did was to check on my pulse before asking me anything. He continued asking me about a few symptoms to have better understanding on my health condition. Then, he told me something I've never expected to have happened to me.He said, my appetite was strongly influenced by my emotions. He continued saying that the unstable emotions in me may be due to overly stressing myself or depression since these negative emotions will affect my liver and further influences my appetite. I was speechless for a while because the illness started way before the trough of my life. However, I should be convinced by his professionalism since I came all the way to him just to give it a try.

He got me into thinking what is my actual problem? Although I get my moody and stressed up at times,I never abuse my stomach in such a way before, especially when I’m a person who's studying about food. Since I can't think of a reason, I heed to his advice and tried to free myself from stress as much as possible.

He also gave me 4 packets of Chinese herbs which I had no idea what the ingredients were and asked me to drink it twice a day for 4 days. I’ve been drinking it for 3 days so far and it definitely tastes awful, so awful that the scent of kills and spreads around the whole unit up to 3rd floor.

Even the appearance itself looks unpleasant.

At the same time, I’m also consuming Antacid-Calcium supplement my friend got me. I don’t know which method actually works but I eventually find myself better at adapting slightly-oily and tasty food again. Thank God I could at least have a fine dining on my birthday without feeling unwell.

Don’t worry my friends, I will do my best to eat more and more to compensate with the nutrient loss.

My umbrella, ella ella ella

2010-10-10T06:37:00.006+08:00

Changing at least one umbrella per year is definitely not a joke in my life, as my umbrella seems to have this love-hate relationship with me. It’s either she gives up her life and stops servicing me, or she leaves me to another place.

Yar, so my second umbrella of the year disappears from my life again and for the first time, the mistake was caused by me. I left it under my chair after the break.The thing is, I didn’t even buy the umbrella itself since the umbrella was given by my friend who left my previous umbrella on the train, which seems to be so sarcastic now, because that just shows how dim my fate with umbrella is.

It’s now the time for my third umbrella this year, I sincerely hope that we will love each other more and spend longer time together this time.

10 things which make me smile ^_^

2010-10-06T15:04:00.003+08:00

My breakfast fruity loops smiles at me.

Spent an awesome evening with bestie and watched a beautiful sunset together.

Two beautiful flowers fell on us on our way to the beach.

Jia Huey asked me to stop studying and go back home to play with her, followed by Eu Kenn telling me that he is a good boy on the phone.

Following the direction my Mickey and Minnie are looking at.

Finally received the birthday card I should have gotten a year ago.

A pretty photo with the BFFs.

Seeing colourful things being put together.

Reminiscing on my homestay experience in Japan.

Listening to inspiring songs by my favourite Japanese band. Two of the members in the group are Canadians and they’re brothers.

I realized there’s no use in crying and it is always better to smile than to cry when something happens, so we shall direct our energy into making our lives better to no let everyone beside us worry. There’s also one thing I learn when I’m studying abroad, which is you have to keep yourself in the best condition whenever possible, and cheer yourself up immediately after a fall regardless what method you’re using. The point is, you have to get up soon, because there are still never-ending tasks waiting for you, because the world doesn’t revolve just for you, because there’s no point crying on the same matter over and over again without helping the situation. So, after wiping all the tears, I should start doing anything I can to make a difference.

Firstly, I should start with self-reflection and filter all the negativity in me.

跟自己说声对不起，因为很久没有好好的吃饭
跟自己说声对不起，因为我让自己不开心
跟自己说声对不起，因为悲伤麻烦了一些爱我的人
跟自己说声对不起，因为忘了提醒自己要好好照顾自己
最后，说完对不起之后，生活还在继续

After self-reflection, I will continue finding motivation from everything, there are so many things I really feel like doing now and I’ll find no accuse to procrastinate these things any further. Everyday will be a beautiful day to start with if I see things beautifully.

It’s a beautiful world, 宇宙に旅に出よう

Thank you for attending the events of my heart.

2010-10-03T04:20:00.007+08:00

Past few weeks seemed like a nightmare to me as a string of unfortunate events happened to me, from eating disorder, diarrhea, weird mouse clicking sound, bee sting, till now… dad’s illness. Unfortunate things were lining up for me one after another immediately after I thought I got through a big one. I thought it was going to be a good new start on my way back to Vancouver, but looks like it’s just another journey towards another battle.

Perhaps we humans are constantly battling within ourselves journey after journey, we open the door, venture for a while, then we close the door and hop on to the next door and repeat the cycle again. Maybe, this is what we call as moving on.

Really, this is what I’ve felt last week when my limit is pushed to a higher level and I couldn’t withstand the uneasiness in life. I feel a different level of pain so close to me that it doesn’t tear my heart into pieces, but I’m stunned for a few days without knowing what to do to keep my tears from falling down. It just intrudes my heart and strangles every of my nerves before I can further react on it.

However, I understand something about friendship courtesy to these unfortunates in my life. Some little angels came to me with their warm hearts to light me up. Although they tease me and megabomb me, only I can feel the humour within it and the act of care. To me, teasing me consistently works way better than bringing me out on a treat or talking sweet to me occasionally. They remind me that we’re here to complement each other, for fun and for bun, for pain and for gain. That’s just how our friendships work.

“True friends will come to you naturally, you don’t really have to look for them. They will present if they want to.”

Thank you for the porridge, that’s the sweetest thing on earth for an eating disorder person.

Thank you for the medicine and suggestions, that’s the most practical way to get rid of diarrhea.

Thank you for all the physical and verbal hugs, these are my definitions of love and care.

Thank you for making fun of me just to make me laugh.

Thank you for the accompaniment,that’s the greatest thing in between words of silence.

I may not be in the right position now but I will get back to track soon.

Be optimistic, be tough, believe, and I will begin to see the miracle.

Sometimes, I'm happy to be busy.

2010-09-28T03:04:00.003+08:00

4 assignments+1 research+1 discussion+ 1 field trip done in a week, I feel so accomplished after last week although that requires more time commitment with my studies. Last week was tiring but at least productive I would say. Thank god I spent the last day of the week singing my heart out as loud as I wanted.

Someone asks me a lot of questions about the personality of a librain recently. Frankly, that’s not my expertise because I barely study horoscopes. I tend to believe that an individual’s personality is based more on the psychological, environmental and genetic factors. I prefer analyzing things based on a specific situation than bringing in the horoscope factor in classifying a person. Having said that,that has got to be one of the most interesting stories I’ve heard this year and I really enjoy being a part of the listener and a secret keeper because I learn from every story of the others.

Beeday is coming soon and my fellow friends are even more excited in celebrating it than I do. I still have no idea on my celebration because the fact that I’m turning an adult soon still surprises me a lot. I can’t believe that it’ll be my third birthday here, and I think this year will be a better one with more close friends around me, so awesome that the celebration will end up being like a fun gathering instead.

Anyway, I kinda had a nasty encounter for the past few days and I shall update you guys about it soon!

Pledge today, make a change.

2010-09-24T13:26:00.005+08:00

"We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are always there for the others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you."

I’m glad that I’ve met that someone, someone whom I can get along well and talk comfortably, someone whom I’ll bother showing my concern and letting them know and feel that, someone whom I’m willing to spend more time going out with and hoping to understand more about them. I think, that’s an improvement of me because I used to keep my feelings in heart most of the time but now, I’ll deliver my message at the appropriate time, to the appropriate person.

Although my weekdays are all about lectures and assignments now, I feel like I’m really living a life as a student with school on weekdays and friends time on weekends as I’m keeping the balance quite good. More calls, more texts, more consistent study and assignment buddies during break time, more outings and more exposures, these things make me feel so lively nowadays. I’m totally giving myself a chance to go on a roller coaster ride and trying out another kind of lifestyle as well as studying method to see if it'll bring out some potential in me.

Anyway, I’ve also joined El’s cause of ‘Vegosaurs for change’. It’s a cause about reducing meat consumption for a better environment. So I’m banning myself from meat once a week and I feel good about it because it’s something related to my field of study as well, it’s something about food sustainability and how we should understand the impacts of our food choice on the environment and the entire food system. Nowadays, I begin to think about my contributions towards the society, how an act of care and kindness can bring some new hope to a system. Do not neglect a mere personal contribution because aggregation can become very influential, just like the ‘Earth hour’ and some other thought-provoking events. They don’t make you change for just one day, all they pledge for is a lifetime commitment from you through the event.

Do join me if you’re willing to make the commitment and here’s the event page on FB. 100 people have joined the line and I really hope to see more of you guys there, standing in the same line for the same goal.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=162399673773871#/event.php?eid=103301333063820

I don’t know what exactly is changing within me but something is changing, probably it’s an adoption of a better mind with healthier thoughts. I think I’m heading to the positive direction in every perspective, be it personal contributions and goals, family and friendships, and lastly relationship.

I’m good, I’m content, and I just want to keep this gratitude flowing.

September

2010-09-18T14:25:00.004+08:00

I’m going through a new phase since school started. The same old bunch of friends, a few familiar housemates, yet I’m visualizing everything in a new way. Despite of all the familiar things, I also see how the surrounding is changing from time to time, I see how UBC claims itself as the place of mind and making some efforts to reach there. Looking at the class condition and increasing class size, I think what I saw was an ant hole, small yet abundant. How to squeeze in and out from there? Walk faster, work faster and then leave faster.

Also, I noticed I haven’t been doing a lot in Vancouver since I came here. It was just a shame for an outsider to encourage me to go to UBC anthropology museum when I myself have been living on campus for the past two years.

>.< Bahh anthropology museum I’ll surely make my way there this year!!!

Good thing is, I’ve found my desired lifestyle after 2 years+. I’m getting to know myself better and better and the life I desire.I like the way I am for now and I truly enjoy life with my current friends, embracing all the fun times while stepping foot on new paths.

After all I’m still me, I don’t tolerate and put effort in something anymore when I think I’ve done my best to understand a person and have had enough of it. I’m still me, I’d like to share my life with some other people who treasure the same opportunity as I do. I’m still me, I love freedom and a simple life which satisfies not only myself, but also the people around me.

And it’s good to know that, I’m still me and I’m back to myself again.

'Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now how things could’ve been
It was worth it in the end.'

September-Chris Daughtry

A bad start

2010-09-13T11:58:00.003+08:00

This has got to be the worst start of my academic year.

I never understand the pain of eating disorder until recently when I can’t even have a proper meal as my tummy feels bloated and gassy after consuming a little bit of food. Literally, I’m excreting 80% of what’s going into my stomach everyday in a bad form. To make matter worse, I’m still not fully recovering from jet lagging yet and so I’m kind of sleep deprived for the whole week. I finally understand the pain of not being able to eat rice, noodles or any starchy food at all which used to taste so delicious to me.

I don’t know what’s happening to me as I thought it would be pretty easy for me to cope with jet lagging after spending 2 years here.I really dislike my current lifestyle and I’m doing everything I can to regain the balance in both my sleeping time and diet. I can’t afford to see how these important elements in life taking their tolls on my studies later on.

I just want to be myself again, a person who feels satisfied after finishing a meal and getting enough sleep. Eating disorder has never ever happened to me before and therefore I’ve no clue on how to solve it.

Help me and give me some suggestions please!

我已经把你戒掉

2010-09-03T17:25:00.009+08:00

I’ve been following up with S.H.E’s music since their first album, and therefore have I witnessed the improvement in their vocals besides the variety of songs they’ve tried out so far. Hebe is my favourite singer among S.H.E, and I feel glad to see her solo album since I think her talent should be acknowledged by more people instead of just being a member in the pop girlband.

S.H.E reminds me a lot of my youthful memories, since many of their songs relate me to Win and El along with our secondary schooldays. Their songs have been accompanying me through ups and downs, and they are the only group which I’ve their full CD collection.

還是原來那個我不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾遲早我會換這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
想到快瘋掉死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了
賴著不放掉人本來就寂寞的
借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼什麼都沒有早點看破才看的見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
想到快瘋掉死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了
賴著不放掉人本來就寂寞的
我總會把你戒掉

They say, we need some experiences to grow up, so I’m taking every experience as a lesson to broaden my sight and a challenge to control my temper. As long as we’re willing to stand up again, there’s always a chance for us to live an exuberant life.
One of my besties and I both went through similar experiences few months ago, and I told her that if 2 depressive people stick together and continue whining about the past, they will only become more depressed. Therefore,one of them must wake up earlier and cheer another one up, then only can we add 2 more optimistic people on earth. If I can do it, I believe everyone else can, that's why don't give up yourself under any circumstances.

My past experience was a total failure and a pain but if I could use it as a guidance to someone else's life, why not share it? I've found myself, my goal and faith along the way, have you?

Cupcakes!!!

2010-08-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

I had my first ever cupcake baking session with my buddies last week. Thanks to the online recipe and everyone’s effort in baking the cupcakes, our first attempt turned out to be a success and we felt so accomplished while decorating these little cute stuffs. Even my niece enjoyed the baking session because I gave her a few stars to decorate her cupcake.

5 more days before I go back to the Mapleland, so I’m cherishing every moment here while anticipating to meet up with my Vancouver buddies. A new semester, I know I’m ready.

Live all that you want, be all that you want to be

2010-08-25T00:47:00.013+08:00

Someone asked me to share the secret of my emotional management skills since they think I’m optimistic. I can tell you frankly that I am not that optimistic, I’m a human who has emotions just like everyone of you, but I chose to bring out the positive energy within me and pass it to everyone else.

I seriously think this quote from the book ‘secret’ will sum up my thought on EQ management:
‘Write your script. When you see things you don't want, don't think about them, write about them, talk about them, push against them, or join groups that focus on the don't wants... remove your attention from don't wants.. and place them on do wants’

I do have unhappy memories in the past, I lost important things and people in my life. When I come to think of it, I regret it so much because I did not follow my heart and come up with the true answer at that time. I denied it so much because I wanted a better solution for everyone else, instead of myself. I thought pleasing the ones I love would make me feel happy as well, but in the end, I was even more miserable because I focused too much on how these things screwed up my life, I lost my sight on the majority things which I should treasure more.

Perhaps I did not lose a chance, a friendship, potential relationship or anything else but myself.I did not believe in myself that things could work out just the way I wished.That’s when I realize I need a change, I need to change my thoughts to be a better person. I need to trust myself more so that I can have a life that reflects my thoughts.

To be happy and satisfied with our life, we first have to understand the fact that we are the creators of our universe, and so we are the masterpiece of our life. We can be happy if we want to, as the inner thoughts will reflect the outer body, the choice falls in your hands. Resources are not finite because there are always alternatives, what you need is a brilliant idea to discover all these potential things. And the key factor which brings about the success of an idea is faith. You need to have faith in yourself under any circumstances.

When you are not happy with your life, you think life sucks and you’re such a loser.But life is abundant in all areas, and so do happiness and successes. When you have an inspired thought, you must trust it and act on it, and it will all come back to you, even if it is a mistake.We should be thankful for all the little mistakes we've made because these things clear up all the doubts for you and path the life you desire.

When you meet idiots, you’re so annoyed and you think they are eyesores.But there is always another choice, don’t take them into your heart and let the negative power intrudes your body. You’re lucky in a way that you’re not like them. You may be angry for a while but remember to let the anger dissolves after that.

When you have an arrogant boyfriend and you can’t bear up with his thoughts and behavior sometimes.There is actually another choice, give him a chance to prove himself for small issues. Let them go the way they wish and confront with their dignity instead of you poking out the silly mistake for them. You don’t need a robot who obeys everything you say.

Everything is up to your choice. The question is, what kind of life do you want?

Before you make any decision,do remember one thing:we can change the results of our lives.

What home has done to me this summer

2010-08-23T21:12:00.015+08:00

Recently, I chat a lot with my niece. Her pure innocence and creativity broaden my imagination besides hers. She's just too adorable!!

Recently, I’m so inspired by a video my bestie shared with me.

‘Make believe, and we all can make a difference.’

Recently, I’m amazed at how easily satisfied I can be, even the smallest thing on earth can make me smile.

-A magician gave me a twisted fork right after the magic performance a few weeks back.

Recently, I wake up every morning, smile to myself and think ‘It’s gonna be another brand new lovely day’

-Smile is the best battery in the world I guess, plus it’s environmentally friendly.

Recently, I made my way towards the target set and got slimmer than before. Having said that, I can still donate blood with my weight now ok, so don't tease me on that,my dear husbands!

Recently, I’ve a new weekly task, that is to cut my bangs once in every 2 weeks.It was pretty bad looking at first, but I’m getting better and better at it.*grins*

Recently, my friends added a few new celebrities to my celebrities look alike list, they are SoHee from wondergirls, Yui Aragaki, and Natalie Tong. I’ve heard tones of names since last time, from Rainie Yang to Miriam Yeung, and one thing I feel glad about is that they all look good to me.

Nice, looks like my face is truly ‘one Asia’. Anyway, I’m satisfied with my appearance and constantly feel grateful for my parents' creation. Therefore, do remember my name regardless of who you think I look like.

This is how much homeland can do to me. To me, it’s not really about the food, it’s not about the flag, but it’s about the resources I can truly gain here, I can explore something out of everything and everyone. I can feel happy at wherever places that I'm in, but there’s only one place for me to harbor infinite supply of energy, love, and not to forget

A nice big bed to sleep.

I’ m not afraid to take anything down anymore, if it’s meant to fall, then just let it collapse. If I can’t do it myself, just try a few more times until I get it.

A new term, double strength, triple maturity, quadruple new friends, there's so much more out there waiting to be embraced. Another new life, I'm coming!

The three betrayers

2010-08-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

The first US character we saw when we stepped in US was the Son of Frankenstein. Initially, I didn’t want to take picture with him at all because I had no idea who he was and he was not quite appealing as a mascot. However, we still stepped up to him since he was the first character we saw in the studio.

Nothing happened in the first picture. But the story only began after the first picture, when he started fooling us around by grabbing us along with him. We, known as the betrayals by HW quickly ran away the moment he started grabbing us.

Because of this photo, we were being known as the betrayers for the whole day!

Actually, we ran quite far away also.But please don't neglect the third person who moved his standing location as well, so it was not just us who ran away ok! When I thought of it later on, I felt quite bad for the character because he was just being friendly to us in his own way perhaps, but we turned our back to him the moment he showed his friendliness.

Also, I wonder how could CK pose when she was still in fear?

Then we met the Egyptians later on. They did not wrap our neck this time but they did something else.

I realized most of the characters in Universal Studio like to fool the visitors. That reminds me very much of the chicken in movie world Gold Coast.That time, my sister and I stood beside the chicken and readily posed for the picture, but then the chicken suddenly wrapped my neck with its arms and pulled me behind, with another arm grabbing my sister’s neck. That’s how we took a very funny picture with us being ‘murdered’ by the chicken.

CHICKEN OH CHICKEN, I wonder if you are still there or not. I would have done the same thing to you if I ever see you again, I suppose.

欲加之罪，其无辞乎

2010-08-11T20:47:00.011+08:00

Out of so many people in the world, there’s one type I’ve seen who likes to make up things and rumors which come from nowhereland. The more fuss they bring up and the more they ruin your life, the happier they are. However,you find no guilt on this issue because you know that you’ve treated them as genuine as possible.

You feel absolutely ridiculous about what they say.However,you decided to remain silent despite of all the attacks and criticisms, because deep down inside, you know rumors do not do you justice in any way.

You remain silent although these criticisms sound very harsh, as the thing you feel sad about is not those criticisms, but it’s the change of a person’s behavior.

You remain silent, because you understand the consequence of involving in a never ending battle. Once the fight begins, it's going to harbor more and more hatred with the layers and layers of lies that are piling up the ceiling.

All these years, we remain silent and endure every single criticism, it doesn’t mean that we’re guilty and we’re to be blamed of our deeds.To me, we've been patient and good enough to go through all these things silently, because my parents instilled an important thought into my mind since young.

‘Treat everyone as genuine as possible and do everything based on your conscience. If you’ve done your best, then it’s up to the others to judge on your personality and behavior. It’s not just up to one mouth to say anything about your deeds, it’s about majority impression of you as a person.’

Of all the things they have said and done, I chose to forgive and remain silent, because there’s still some appreciation in me for them.

Out of all the attacks, I will only say

欲加之罪，其无辞乎

My new life in K.L

2010-08-08T00:56:00.005+08:00

I feel like I’ve been living like a tourist since I’ve moved to Kuala Lumpur. I see more foreigners around my neighbourhood, go to Petaling Street to eat laksa during weekends, tour around K.L to enjoy the night view sometimes besides taking the public transit even more often to travel down the city. It’s a completely new experience to me in learning more about this new place because I don’t really hang out at K.L when I was staying in Petaling Jaya.

I really shouldn’t have said that I come from K.L last time, I should say I was a PJ-ian during self introduction since I realized how much I lack the knowledge about K.L ever since I started living here. I don’t know the roads as much as I know about P.J, I’m like a tourist who needs to look at the signboard when I drive home from K.L. On top of that, I’m also sick of the jam at Federal highway regardless of the time. 8p.m also jam, 10.30 p.m also jam, I’m just so prepared to go home being stuck in a jam every single time.

Having said that, there are still some tourist-must-do-things which I feel like trying out in K.L, and that includes going up to the twin tower bridge in between the two towers. I really feel like going there to snap some pictures, can someone go with me please??

I’m so happy for you

2010-08-06T10:49:00.009+08:00

Got a super good news before I went to sleep yesterday.

‘ Jef Ong is engaged to Jacey in India.’

Oklah, I added India at the end because I think Taj Mahal is one cool place for wedding proposal, that’s why I think putting India at the back of the sentence makes it more complete. Although I’ve been expecting this for a long time, I still feel excited when the real thing actually happens. This joyous news kept me awake until 2 a.m because my brain was instantly flashback to a string of good times I spent with my third sister.

She’s three years older than me and I spent my childhood time playing with her the most (although she liked to make me cry). But what I adore the most from her is her perkiness because she always sees things in an optimistic way.We eventually become confidant as we grow older, and there's absolutely nothing that I can't tell her. She's my counselor, confidant, skin care ‘consultant’, joker, mamak buddy and everything else in my life, there’s always a trace of her in it.

The thought of her entering another stage in her life excites me a lot, especially with someone whom I've been seeing quite frequently since 5-6 years ago. To me, he’s already a part of the family since long time ago. I’m so so happy for them because they’ve been together for 8 years as far as I know, besides being the first marrying couple I’ve seen who started their relationship since high school.
This good news of the year keeps me smiling for the whole day as I’m constantly grateful for all the good things that pop up around the people I love.

Hola, this is my song for you guys. Happy engagement!

Die die also want to go spirit

2010-08-04T13:11:00.014+08:00

I finished reading this travel book today. The book was written by a Malaysian backpacker on her journey touring around the world as a backpacker.Seriously, I admire her so much because she is so courageous to handle any situation in a foreign country, since a lot of them( like spending overnight in the police station) sound nasty to me. I think, this is the kind of spirit we should look up when we are in a foreign country, the so called 'die die spirit'.That's because many surprising and shocking things will occur and you will have mostly yourself to confront all these things, that's when this 'die die spirit' lends you its hand by helping you to go over the boundary.Also,imagine if the author did not choose this path, with her 'die die also want to go travel' spirit, she would have missed out so many interesting adventures in her life in which not everyone will have the same determination to go through it.

Of all the places she had been to, the one that appeals the most to me is Namtso Lake（纳木错天湖） in Tibet.

(Source: www.meiguoxing.com)

I'm so tempted to go there after browsing through some pictures of Namtso lake, it gives me a sense of tranquility and endlessness, perfectly fit as a place of my style. Hmm, I'm sure that I'll make my way there before I'm 30.

Yosh, I actually booked my trip to Seoul next year partly because of the motivation I've gained from her, although I'm still short of the budget now, like CK says, just work like a 'bull' for the following months and we'll be fine. What we all need is that first kick to keep us working ahead.

Dear Seoulmates, see you guys in 2011!

In reply to El 'this thing called love' Part 2

2010-08-03T01:35:00.019+08:00

ATTN: This is a post specially to all girls who are having issues placing trust in guys. So, it may offend a certain individuals but please do not be too sensitive about it because these are just my views based on my own experiences and observations.

I’ve been dealing with this trust issue for so long and yet I can’t find a cure for it, because I know that trust in guys is just something that’s poor in me.I put the blame on guys partially for letting me feel this way, but it’s also about me because I find it difficult to trust any guy the way I did before anymore. I tried before but the way guys repaid my trust was simply disappointing, until I don’t see a reason of putting up with so much pain and giving in so much for a guy. It eventually becomes an uncertainty which changes the way I work for my future.

I’ve accepted one thing: Things will usually end the same in a society like this, for a girl who’s aged like me. Seriously, I’ve trusted you so much and what did I get in return? So why don’t I trust myself more then and treat myself better since you all are still in the midst of choosing a good, better, and the best one.

It's just simply more hurtful for me to hear the reason of your struggle than to live without you.

“Because I’m still young, therefore I can still choose, it’s not like I’m going to marry her or what.”

I can understand the fact that you are young and you're not up for marriage, but what I can't bear with is the fact that you use age as an excuse to not commit in a relationship.I’m not going to give in to all the guys who think so anymore, I think we all, girls deserve much more better than this. Seriously, girls please remember one thing: you can still go on with your life without anyone, especially those jerks. Therefore, please don’t downgrade yourself and prioritize someone who’s not worth your time. Don’t be too in love with the idea of love and give in everything you have to someone who may not treat you the same. And, don’t be worried about the people in your past, there is a reason they did not make it into your future.

I don’t want to and I don’t understand why I have to anticipate so much for something which might turn out to be saddening. Of course it may also end up happily but we just have to be rational sometimes and consider about every possible consequence when it comes to a relationship. Nothing is 100% guaranteed and perfect, so we do have to be logical enough to think of the outcome when things do not work well, so that we can still stay strong and be able to carry on with our lives happily.

Well, I do come from a happy family with blissful family marriages and long relationships, but it means nothing to my future because I may not be as lucky as them, and I have to be prepared for that consequence. Of course it’s good if I can find that someone in my life, but I have to be prepared for the worst to come as well because no one knows what is going to happen exactly later on. Touch wood if it really happens and I’m still single 10 years later, at least I’m financial capable of providing myself a good life with stable income. At least I can live a stress-free life from financial burden and help the other people if I start working my ass off from now on.

It all comes down to one question anyway, because I lack the trust in guys, I’m highly insecure of my future with a guy. Due to that, I don’t know what is going to happen to my love life later on, and that leads me to the way I work for my future now. I can’t plan for my love life, but I can plan for my future. Don’t you think so? And if you think your future is still far away, no, you’re already making your way there and everything’s going to happen within 10-15 years time. Remember how you went through your teenage life? Everything just happened like a shooting star.

That is why I don’t anticipate and expect for any good guy anymore. If I happen to get one, then it’s a good thing and I consider myself lucky. If not, I know I still have my life too. Really, I don't hate those guys who walked passed my life because they've made me the way I am now. I thank you guys for giving me a chance to re-discover myself and the things I want in my life.

You may disagree with me on this because you have a happy relationship right now. Putting trust in guys is a subjective matter so as long as you are happy, why not? Just go for what you think is the best for you and your beloved one, for this is what I think is the best for me.

P/S: I truly wish everyone who has a happy relationship to have the best in their life and don’t find it offensive and assumed that I wrote this because I hate guys. I’m not lesbian and I don’t hate guys, I wrote it based on my friends and my own experiences. I sincerely give my blessings to everyone of you and hopefully you’ve figured out a way in enabling your relationship to work out.

El and Win, I truly wish you all the best in your relationship!

In reply to El 'this thing called love' Part 1

2010-08-02T01:33:00.007+08:00

A young and tough fighter ever

2010-07-29T18:50:00.010+08:00

Reading stories of the others can be really inspiring sometimes. Every little thing can be inspiring, it injects some power into your life and makes you feel like you’ve the absolute power to make a difference in another person’s life when you’re powerful enough to control your mind and soul.

This is the third year we all are fighting for our beloved little boy Jia Kenn on CP, especially his parents. He is a tough boy, I dare say he’s tougher than anyone of us when we were at his age. The pain he endures from all sorts of therapies is really beyond description, not to mention his effort in going through all the traumatizing things at such a young age. I see how he has been occupied with all the activities everyday and how he has been fighting with them all the while. Really, I’ve never thought so much about health until I’m touched down with some real life examples from the closest person around me.

When we knew about his condition, I used to ask myself one question: Why must it be him? He’s just a baby, why must he go through so much pain and a much more difficult life?

The question remains until I read my sister’s blog one day and she says:

‘But, ugly truth always catches up with you. Truth has a nasty way of slapping you in the face sometimes. It keeps reminding you everyday with the difficulties he has to deal with as he grows older. e.g. scoliosis.’

We don’t ask why when we’re chosen for a talent, a good life, a golden opportunity or anything good and lucky, so why should we ask why when we’re given a much more challenging path than the others? We shall never ask what God has hideously planned for us, but we go through it and learn a lesson about life from there. Life has a way of going on its own without giving you a reason sometimes, until you’re willing to accept the reality and deal with it then only will you understand the reason behind it.

Also, why must we think of it as a misfortune? His presence is a gift to all of us in the family, we always feel grateful for him and big Kenn. But I never even want to think of him as a special kid, because he is just like everyone of us: to gain the general acceptance in the society, besides being able to walk and take care of his own in future.

Since then, I refused to ask why anymore because I’ve so much faith in him, I believe the day when I see him walking and hearing ‘yiyi’ from him is not far if we support him all the way down the road. Also, I’ve gained so much power from Jia Kenn, so I really hope that he’s also pumped up with all the support around him and keep up the good work until he reaches the miracle.

I love the boys, very very much. I feel thankful for the boys, very very much.
Thank you Kenns’ mama for the boys and also all the hard work all these while.

While we are still ranting so much about our lives, have we ever thought of those who suffer so much more than us, so much that’s enough to keep our mouth shut and just keep going on with our well-gifted opportunity to live.

It’s a pleasure to be given an opportunity to live an ordinary life and possess all that we have, have you ever thought of it?

On diet

2010-07-27T10:41:00.005+08:00

I’m on diet for almost a month now and managed to shred off a few KGs of fats all ‘imported’ from Vancouver. But I’m not like those celebrities, I don’t carry out dietary plan which would drive me crazy due to food crave. I just reduced my food portion while going to gym regularly.

You know, one thing I like about myself is that I will work on something once I find the need to do so, regardless of what other people say. I noticed a lot of people are being dishonest when commenting on someone’s weight, that’s why going on diet is a thing you have to self-realize it and then do something about it. To me, it’s either you tell the truth to thrill me to go on diet, or you don’t talk anything about it to make me not realize it, be it in front of me or behind me.

Oh yay, so this is what I’ve been doing for now:
1. Meal-to-meal time is 4-5 hours and try not to have snacks in between.
2. Reduced meal portion and eat until I’m 70% full.
3. Work on treadmill for an hour three times a week.

Basically it’s just an ‘eat less exercise more’ plan since I’m not fully banning myself from any food, I just reduced the amount of consumption. The good news is, I’m just 2 kgs away from my target only, and I’ll definitely continue to work hard on it.

つっと頑張ります

This is the real target I’m talking about!!

I love our BFF club.

2010-07-24T21:13:00.002+08:00

My Penang trip ended wonderfully with the greatest travel partners of mine for the past few years. Now I realized choosing the right travel partner is extremely important for one to enjoy the vacation fully. Without the right person, the vacation can just be ruined anytime at anywhere even though the incident might be a small matter.

I’ve been taking photos with them for 10 years, and this photo is undoubtedly the most creative photo we’ve ever taken. Seriously, we should give a credit to the photographer because he insisted us to pose like this.The picture really looks like some kind of movie poster with CK as the main lead.

LOL, why didn't I think of this idea earlier, I should have recorded a video at Kek Lok Si with you guys in it!!!

Thank God for all the girls’ time we spent together and all the jokes we made, even with the frustrating GPS, closed laksa shop and also unnecessary toll fee, I think we still made our trip fun in our own way, as always.

^.^ Oh yay, I love our BFF club, and BFF never dies!